


Soldiers have something to believe in, Warriors are lonely

by GenjiMachinegun



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Action, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Annie Leonhart & Bertholdt Hoover - Freeform, Annie Leonhart & Bertolt Hoover - Freeform, Annie Leonhart - Freeform, Awkward Romance, Bertholdt Hoover - Freeform, Bertolt Hoover - Freeform, Beruannie Month, Child Annie Leonhart, Eventual Romance, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-14 21:28:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 91,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11791815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GenjiMachinegun/pseuds/GenjiMachinegun
Summary: What did Annie, Reiner and Bertholdt had to through in the Marleyan Government Program to get their titan power? Whatever it was, the harsh oppression and exhaustion they had to endure drew them closer to each other to forget the pain. Ironically, both their hearts and minds broke free inside those giant walls, that guarded what they once considered their enemies.





	1. It's for our sake

Bertholdt's life was relatively better than most of those of Eldian descent. He was fortunate enough to have two able bodied parents, who were both employed, a luxury few Eldian children possess. This was due to the harsh oppression exerted by the Marleyans - Everyone who didn't display absolute loyalty to the Marleyan people was mercilessly eliminated. All it takes is a slight suspicion of disloyal thoughts coupled with a report to the government, and your life will either end or become an even more hellish nightmare.

Bertholdt knew all too well what they used to kill. It was those long pipes with a handle, that Marleyan patrols would always carry. Those fire weapons were responsible for massive amounts of unwarranted death and misery. Everyone who was branded a "traitor" to Marley would be publicly executed by firing squad, often along with their families, so he had witnessed the horrible sight of the life in a person's eyes extinguishing, leaving nothing but a crimson husk in it's wake. No matter how long the boy thought about it, he couldn't grasp how was someone capable of such diabolical actions and at the same time believe that was the right thing to do. His parents had praised his empathy in the past, but he just couldn't understand this heartless mindset.

By some strange trick of fate, one of these tools of violence, that his father called a "rifle", was being held in his hands.

"Remember **,** put the rifle butt firmly in the pocket of your right shoulder." his father instructed.

He readjusted his riffle position once again. However, he still missed the majority of his targets, that mostly consisted of glass bottles.

"What the hell is wrong with you?! Your accuracy is improving way too slowly! Are you even paying attention to my instructions? You haven't shown any significant progress in days!" his father yelled.

" I'm sorry! I'm trying!" he whined with tears threatening to fall.

"All right, that's enough. The sun will set soon, we'll continue tomorrow." the taller man said with a sigh.

Bertholdt's father put him under a rigorous training, forcing him to hone his marksman skills to, what his father hoped would become extreme levels. They would practice everyday after the sun rises and during the entire afternoon, with no breaks, in a meadow far away from anyone's earshot.

After they arrived home, Bertholdt's mother immediately approached them, curious about his progress.

"How did he fare?" she asked.

"Badly. He missed roughly 60% of the targets from a distance of 55 meters. Not too shabby for a 6 year old, but that's nowhere near good enough to be accepted as a Warrior by the Marleyan government." the older male grumbled with a sigh.

The boy could only look at the floor in shame. There was nothing he could say or do to please them.

"What?! Son, don't you understand that if you become good enough, the Marleyans might give you one of the titans? Can't you see how good that would be for us? For you? You would be able to live a life of wealth and escape the misery your parents had to endure throughout their lives. We would no longer be viewed as scum and be loved by everyone!" his mother said with her usual worried expression.

"I'm sorry. I'm doing the best I can, but I just..." Bertholdt couldn't convey what he was feeling. His athletic prowess extremely good in comparison with other boys his age. He also displayed a good degree of intelligence and motor coordination, when he showed he could quickly dismantle, build and repair machinery from his father's gun shop, by his orders of course.

"This is all your fault!" the adult male roared to his wife. "I know he has great potential. Deep inside him there's ruthless warrior, but you 'pussified' him to the point of acting like a sissy all the time! You go too easy on him, he should spend time with real men to learn how to act properly, like I did!"

"Stop blaming me for our misfortunes. Maybe you don't teach him well enough!" the woman countered.

"P-Pointing fingers won't fix anything. I-I don't mind working with guns, but... They're used to... h-hurt people... and... d-destroy their families. And... I don't want to do something so awful to anyone, especially to innocent people...!" Bertholdt stuttered, fearing his parents' reaction.

"So? They're gonna die anyway. If killing who you're ordered to kill means you'll gain respect and money, then fuck them. You have a huge advantage over the other Eldian kids, since I can provide you with guns from my shop and teach you how to use them in secret, so don't let the lemons that life gives you rot and make lemonade! And if you're lucky, the lemons will be some random wastes of oxygen and the lemonade will be that sweet, sweet honorary Marleyan status" his father prodded with a cruel chuckle as he mentioned the horrible acts.

"I understand you feel bad for others. I'm happy to know that my son has a good heart, but never forget that your family is more important than anything. Besides, you'll most likely never lay a finger on anyone that lives here, if you're successful, you'll only hurt those filthy island devils!" exclaimed the female with discuss upon referring the island dwellers.

"That's right. Your mother and I had to swallow a shit-ton of bitter pills to ensure a happy life for you, winning the Marleyan government program is the least you could do to pay us back." his dad blackmailed.

Granted their life wasn't exactly good. Even though the poverty they faced wasn't quite as harsh as most Eldians, Bertholdt's mother worked almost constantly as a nurse, in exchange of puny amounts of money, while his father woke up very early for another shooting lesson, before going to work, then another at noon, and finally going back to work at night. Since he supported Marleyans with weaponry, his salary was a little more generous. While not learning how to wield fire weapons, Bertholdt would spend all of his time alone, working in their farms where he learns how to shoot, fantasising about playing with friends.

" _Father is always so cranky. Mother is always so tired. I'm sick of seeing their dead eyes, they deserve better. I guess it wouldn't hurt if I tried harder..._ " he thought before falling asleep on a miserable, frigid bed that his parents could barely afford.

He was taught time and time again that the island dwellers were inherently evil and that they were a threat to the great people of Marley. His father often said 'those fuckers should all die of gonorrhoea in front of their weeping mothers', but the image of him holding a weapon with a human being as his target would often haunt his dreams. They can't be that bad, right? If they really are evil, then we could just educate them and teach them how to be good, that would be good for everyone. Why does he have to hurt them when there are far healthier solutions?

_Okay, I'll... I'll try and focus more... for mom and dad's sake... They do so much for me... and I'm so useless. But... killing? I-I just can't...! What am I gonna do?_


	2. Symbiosis

_It's okay Bertholdt, those were just glass bottles, you're not hurting anything. Just listen to father. He knows best. When I do good, he gets happy, and so does mom, and that makes me happy._

Everyone has a reason to get out of the bed in the morning, a dream, an aspiration, a responsibility, someone they love. Throughout his short life, Bertholdt was raised with no will of his own. The objectives he was obligated to accomplish were set by his parents, they were dreams he deemed unnecessary and fallible. In his mind, he only gets out of the bed in the morning to go back to bed again. Days aren't really days for him, they're just a series of annoying obstacles that need to be faced.

However, in the end there was something that ended his constant feeling of numbness: His parents' happiness. He knew that they were once cheerful young people who always remained optimistic about a bright future. He also knew their life started going downhill with his birth, due to the inevitable expenses a child brings.

"Much better! What happened to you? You're a lot more focused today!" his father complimented.

A smile was all he could do to answer.

"I think I've seen enough this morning. You did alright. If you keep improving that fast, you'll be an expert in no time. Let's head back. And never forget to keep the handgrip with your left hand steady. The rifle's hand guard should rest in the "V" created by your thumb and forefingers. The grip should be light, like a bad handshake, and the wrist should be straight with the fingers curled naturally around the handguard." the man reminded.

"I know father… I-I want you to know that… I want to see you smile. Mother said you used to smile all the time. B-But… because of me… you're always stressed out." Bertholdt wanted to let him know that his family was a priority above his desires.

Those words were the first thing that were able to touch his father's rocky heart in years. He succumbed to stress and greed and because of that, he started treating the ones he loved worse than his normal self would. Deep down, in that scarred blood pumping organ, he hated himself for using and abusing his son for the greater good. But not only did his head advised him to use the boy as a means to an end, but his heart also saw no other choice but exploit him to provide his whole family a life he always wished for.

"Listen, some things happened at work... I fucked up and... Well, I won't be able to stay at home very often from now on." the older male was still shook due to what his son said.

"What!? But... but... What am I gonna do all day?! Father, I don't wanna be alone. I'll do anything but stay by myself!" Bertholdt's little heart was overwhelmed by loneliness and grief. The solitude he faced was already unbearable, he desperately needed someone to scare away his melancholy. "Please daddy, I'll go with you, or I can stay with mom. Just don't leave me... I want the three of us to stay together!" he was now sobbing and clinging to his father.

"Stop! Pull yourself together, a warrior always keeps his cool and he never calls his father 'daddy'!" the adult had to raise a tough fusilier, even if it pains him to pull the leash. "And... I won't let you be alone anymore." his voice turned suddenly sympathetic.

"I won't!? Does that mean I'll stay with you?" the younger male inquired with relief.

"No... You see, warriors aren't just good with weapons. They're also good at other stuff like fighting and learning... and unfortunately, I can't teach you that. Since myself and your mother will be absent most of the time from now on, we decided to let Mr. Leonhart watch over you. He's a real man, you'll learn a lot from him." his father responded without looking at him in the eyes. He seemed nervous.

_Mr. Leonhart? That's one of our neighbours, he's the father of that cute girl. I never saw father and mother talking to him. Are they friends? I don't remember him talking to any of us._

* * *

 

"Hurry son, we have to get to his house fast, I'm already late for work, I might get fired." his mother said with her signature worried tone.

_Father must have been in a huge hurry if mother has to skip work to bring me here. Why don't they tell me what happened to him?_

She hastily knocked their neighbour's door.

"Mrs. Hoover? Are you here to drop by your son, like your husband said?" asked the short man who opened the door. His face looked wary and his body language suggested that he was prepared for an incoming attack.

"Good morning, Mr. Leonhart. I'm very sorry to bother you so suddenly, but we need you to look after him. It's urgent." she nervously answered in a hurry.

"May I know what happened?!" the man didn't display the slightest amount of concern for his neighbours' well being. He was merely worried about the troubles he might be getting into.

"Yesterday my husband... Well, the Marleyans weren't very happy with..." she stopped what she was about to say and looked at Bertholdt who ogled her with puzzled eyes. "Look, we know you're preparing your daughter... Annie, was it?... to the Marleyan government program, so are we. But I fear we're not nourishing him in all the areas they want. If you could be so kind as to teach my son how to fight, we promise to help your daughter in sharpshooting" the woman bargained desperately.

"Hmph... That sounds like a nice symbiotic relationship. However, even if this is a win-win situation, I still want to know all the cards on the table before I gamble. You and your husband were very vague on the details of the mess he got into, I want to know what I can lose. And keep in mind that I am not a patient baby-sitter. Your child will have to be absolutely obedient, and I can't guarantee his safety while he's learning how to fight." the short man's tone was very strict and demanding.

"I promise I'll tell you everything later. Just...please, from a parent to another..." she didn't know what else to say, her eyes conveyed all the despair she felt.

"Very well, I'll take care of him for the time being, but I'm still expecting you to keep the end of your bargain." he stated apathetically.

"Thank you!" she rejoiced as a hopeful wave of relief washed over her "Goodbye, son. I have to go to work." she planted a heartfelt kiss on the boy's forehead and left sprinting. She hadn't showed her affections for him in a long time, Bertholdt couldn't help getting emotional as well.

"Very well, Bertholdt, you can come in, come meet my daughter. And I don't want see any tears, understood? If you want to be a warrior, you'll have to learn how to fight your tears before learning how to fight your enemies." the man who was almost half of his father's size remained heartless.

This was all too much for Bertholdt to handle. His father was in trouble, his mother was probably about to get fired, and she treated him like she would never see him again, he was in a new home, with new people and he knew he would get hurt while learning how to fight.

"Hum... So... W-What do I have to do?" he asked still scared.

"Follow me." the man ordered sternly.

They arrived at a forest next to Mr. Leonhart's cabin, it was basically a huge back garden where several punching bags could be seen, surrounded by trees.

A small girl stopped her relentless onslaught to one those punching bags, when she noticed she had company. She stared daggers at Bertholdt, not out of spite, it was just in her nature to treat the unknown viciously.

"Annie, this is Bertholdt Hoover. He'll learn martial arts alongside you. Introduce yourself." he spoke matter-of-factly.

"Hello." she emotionless said with an irritated expression, while offering a handshake. She clearly disliked introductions.

"Um... It's nice to meet you, Annie!" he murmured gently while returning the supposedly welcoming gesture. Her grip was painfully strong. It hurt like hell.

"Now, Annie, I want you to reveal to me his current skills. Go easy on him, he's still an amateur." Mr. Leonhart commanded.

"What?... Wait!" Bertholdt whined as scared as anyone would be if they were about to get beat up by a stranger where nobody could hear them.

Annie merely pushed him gently with one hand, which caused him to completely lose his balance and fall.

"S-Stop... Don't hurt me... I wanna go home... I want my parents" he desperately whined as he cried like a cornered frightened animal.

The girl derived a certain sadistic pleasure in his humiliation, but she kept her composure out of respect.

"As I feared." the man whispered to himself when he picked up Bertholdt. "You're not hurt, it's all in your head, okay? Listen, there's nothing to fear, I'm only going to teach how to defend yourself. You want to be a warrior, right?" he asked in a surprisingly sympathetic voice.

"Y-Yeah..." honestly, he didn't. He just wanted to give his parents a good life, like they deserved.

"Then you'll have to listen to me, okay? We're not here to make you feel bad, we're here to help you." the man's soothing voice was succeeding in calming down Bertholdt.

Annie remained stoic, she didn't react at all throughout the whole ordeal.

"You seem to have good basic build and bone structure, you're quite tall as well. I'm sure you'll learn nicely. And I hope you two get along" the adult directed this last sentence to his daughter, staring at her angrily.

Finally, she showed a reaction: Anger.

"As long as he doesn't do anything stupid, I guess we can be friends." she stated annoyed.

Bertholdt could only gulp. She was no where near as friendly as he thought she would be. And he certainly didn't want to get on her bad side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter turned out bigger than the last one. They'll get progressively bigger (but don't worry, at some point they'll stop growing XD )
> 
> In here, we find out that something happened to Bert's dad, we'll find out what that is later ;)
> 
> We also discover that Bert's parents and Annie's father made a mutually beneficial deal, where they'll help each other out to increase their children's odds of gaining a titan power.
> 
> Poor Bert is acting like a newly adopted baby and Annie witnessed her father acting sympatheticly, something he rarely does to her, I bet she's gonna get jealous, huh? ;)
> 
> Anyway, so I kinda of love the titan trio, and because of that I made an AMV about them, if you're interested, watch it. Or don't, I'm not the boss of you, it's nothing too fancy anyway. I just thought the song fit them like a T
> 
> The video is on youtube, the link is:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNWOJ5T_H8w


	3. Misanthrope

"Keep your right fist protecting your face, but prepared to strike and your left fist slightly further and at your nose's height" Mr. Leonhart ordered. He sounded more rigid, but less angry than his father.

Bertholdt's muscles were screaming to stop, he never felt this fatigued in his life. He had spent almost an entire day practicing kicks and punches and getting instructions crammed in his little head, and the worst part is that, according to his new teacher, he was only learning the basics. No wonder Annie was so good, she was unforgivingly disciplined day after day, with no breaks, ever since she was a toddler.

"You're not doing it hard enough. When you throw a punch, you must swing you shoulder and hip along with it." the man commanded sternly.

He couldn't help noticing that Annie, who was practicing in a punching bag next to him, executed her attacks far more aggressively and faster than him. Upon closer inspection, she was clearly furious. But perhaps she's just motivating herself. Or perhaps not...

"Focus!" the older man yelled. "You must..." he stopped what he was about to say when he was interrupted by someone knocking the door.

"Hmm?... You two don't stop. I'll go see who knocked" the man announced defensively.

_Now that he's gone, should I talk to her? She probably wants to make friends, like me._

He was happy to see someone who he could relate so much to. Both of them had a lot in common: they started preparing themselves for the Marleyan government program since they could remember, they had rather aloof parents, they had difficult lives and they were both very shy. He thought no one would ever understand him like she would.

"So hum... Where is your mom?" he asked to break the ice.

"Heaven, I hope." she stated coldly, not bothering to look at him or stopping her training.

"Oh... I'm very sorry..."

_Gosh... If mother died I don't think I would ever recover, she's my best friend._

"It's okay. There's no point in crying over spilled milk." she assured emotionlessly. Those two sentences were more than enough for Bertholdt to infer that she never met her mother, or at least that she didn't remember her.

_Poor thing... Her life is even worse than mine._

"If you want to improve fast, then ditch those old bags and fight me." she invited him confidently.

"Wait, hold on... I'm not ready..." he pleaded nervously, fearing another beat down.

"Stay calm. Sparring with someone is good. You'll learn not to get intimidated. Just watch everything I do carefully and try to learn, got it?" there was excitement in her voice. Maybe she also wanted to be friends with him.

Before he could answer, Annie slowly performed a basic kicking technique. It was clear to him that she was cutting him some slack, which he appreciated. Bertholdt blocked the attack easily and countered with a punch he had just learned how to execute correctly. To his surprise, she fiercely grabbed his fist and pulled him downward. Then she quickly performed a sturdy chokehold and leaned to her left side, causing gravity to pulled them to the floor, due the excessive weight on their left side. With his neck still under her control, she rolled, turning them in a position where they're both lying on their back and he's on top of her. The boy's desperate attempts to escape were futile, because she locked his arms with her strong legs. She could easily kill him if she wanted, there was no escape possible.

"C'mon! I'm making this easy for you, I'm not even holding you that hard. I even let you be on top of me, so you could break free more easily." she grunted next to his ear. She was obviously having fun.

"Grrr... I can't" he whispered.

Annie rolled her eyes and applied even less strength to her holds. Finally, he managed to escape and gasped for air. That sight reminded her of her old, pathetic, weak self.

"What did I tell you about being rough?!" her father, who had just walked in, yelled. She looked away and growled to herself in response.

"Listen, I have to leave. I will be back soon." he announced after sighing.

"Huh? What happened? Where are you going?" she inquired surprised.

"Don't worry about it. Keep sparring with him like you were, but be gentler." he put emphasis on the word 'gentler'.

And with that, Mr. Leonhart hastily left.

"That's weird. This is the first time he left without me!" she thought out loud puzzled.

_Huh? Is she talking to me?_

"R-Really?! D-Do you think something bad happened?" Bertholdt asked. Partly out of curiosity, but more so he could interact with her.

"Well... He can take care of himself, he'll be fine." she confidently spoke. "Hey hum... Did I hurt you too much?"

"Hum... It's nothing really..." he shyly responded. He was actually lying, he was quite hurt, but he wanted to take all the chances he had to get closer to her.

"Good. Remember, the pain is your enemy, if you can't take it, it'll kidnap you and tie your hands to train rails!" she wide opened her eyes for a more dramatic atmosphere.

" Honest? But if a train comes, my hands will get cut off. I need my hand to eat, I'm gonna starve!" he panicked.

"That's why you must ignore the pain like any warrior would. Imagine if a pedophile breaks in. You can't wallow in pain, you must fight back" she roared with her fists clenched.

"What's a pedophile?" the foreign word bewildered him.

"Beats me. Father seems to think they're not fond of kids though. He's always saying 'Annie, when you become a warrior, don't hesitate to squash those filthy island dwellers, they're all pedophiles, so if they see a kid like you, they'll attack you immediately.' But when I ask him what a pedophile is, he tells me to shut up and focus on the training." she told in a humorously deadpan way.

"I see... Wait, hold on, that doesn't make sense. If they attack all the kids they see, then there wouldn't be anyone at all in the island, right? I mean, your parents would attack you after you were born." he sceptically wondered.

Her jaw dropped.

"Are you nuts? The Marleyans say it's true, so you can't question them! Do you want to get yourself killed!" she scolded.

"Ah! I'm sorry... I-I thought... I thought I could trust you, that's why I told you." he whined. His tiny heart broke when she lashed out on him. Since he could relate to her on several aspects of their lives, he wrongly assumed she would understand him, all he wanted was someone who understanded him, someone to share his pain with.

"Well, don't worry, I won't tell anyone, but you still should be more careful! Father is always telling me we live in a unfair, cruel world, where everyone will lie to you and bully you, you can't trust anyone." she darkly lectured.

"That's not true. I would never lie to you or bully you. Neither would your father." he comforted. He could tell she needed a friend, but was too afraid to get hurt in the process of making one.

"Hmph... Since you were honest to me, I guess I can be honest to you too. I don't want to be a warrior. I'm sick of fighting." she confessed, choosing to ignore Bertholdt's remark.

"But don't you want your family to live happily. Don't you want to honour your country and be a hero?" he questioned surprised.

"Don't you understand? The Marleyans are like mean kids burning ants with amplifying glasses. They treat us like garbage, even when they don't need to. They're the reason why our lives are terrible, so I refuse to act like a submissive doormat. They even have the nerve to make kids fight their own battles." she ranted.

He was speechless, she had just said what he always thought, but was too afraid to say out loud. He was even scared of agreeing with her.

"Oh, and what you said about giving a happy life to your family, do you really think they deserve it? They're using you like a tool for their own selfish desires. If they really loved you, they wouldn't force you to do something you hate all the time." her anger was growing.

"N-No... They just... don't have any other choice, that's all" he whimpered.

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that. But despite hating my father, I couldn't thank him enough for the life lesson he gave me: Never trust anyone, everyone wants to see you cry. What a hypocrite! He's using me, when he condemns others for doing the same. Still, he opened my eyes. Like he always says, survival of the fittest doesn't apply to this world, but survival of the most inhumane does." her angry words made him question everything he knew.

Bertholdt knew she was right deep down, but he thought things aren't as simple as she made it out to be. The few times his parents displayed their love for him, he felt like the world wasn't dark or unfair at all.

"Bertholdt, did you believe me when I told you pain can literally grab you and tie your hands to train rails?" she challenged.

"Huh?"

"Did you believe me when I told you my mother was dead? How do you know she didn't abandon me?"

"Hum..."

"You shouldn't believe everything you hear. The world was built by liars."

"..."

"Where is father anyway? He never gave me a day off before." she stopped her interrogation, because she felt she made her point across.

Awkward silence installed.

"Oh, and if you tell anyone what I told you now, I'll strangle a lot harder than before, understood?" she threatened with slit eyes.

"... Annie... do you want to be my friend?" that's all he wanted. He thought if they were friends, he could make her view the world in a brighter way. He wanted her to be happier, because genuinely cared about her. Maybe because he was a naive child.

Annie raised an eyebrow, the 'patheticness' in his response was surprising, even for her. "I feel sorry for you, you won't last long in this world."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's notes:
> 
> I know there isn't much plot yet, but I guarantee there will be soon, I just want to build up relationships, characters and stuff, because a good story needs build up things. In this chapter, I focused on Annie and Bert's inicial relationship, I threw in some childish humor too :) . I'll give you a hint, the storytelling in this first part is related to the main character's parents' weird behavior.
> 
> Also, I would really like constructive criticism. Do you think my writing is good, for instance? Did you detect bad grammar, or inconsistensies? I just want to know how can I improve.


	4. Strange Behaviour

" _What letter is this, dear?" Bertholt's_   _mother asked, pointing her index finger to the first letter of a label that reads 'Insulin'. She was using the medication from her job as a nurse to teach him how to read._

" _It's an 'I', right?" he cheerfully answered._

" _Very good! You're such a smart boy!" she proudly congratulated._

" _Teehee!" he chuckled triumphantly._

" _What about this one?" she asked, this time referring to the the_   _fifth letter of a label with 'Humulin_ '  _written_   _in it._

" _Easy! It's also an 'I', right?"he responded confidently._

" _No, dear." she stated sympathetically. "It's an 'L'. You see, the first letter in a medication label is always capital letter, the others are small letters. When you grow up, you'll have no trouble distinguishing them. Oh, but there is only one word with all capital letters."_

" _Really? What is it?" he wondered._

" _LOVE!" she screamed ecstatically, before warmly tickling him._

" _Haha! Stop!" he laughed uncontrollably._

" _Did someone say love? 'Cause I bet you'll love the dinner I prepared for you." his father spoke happily, after appearing suddenly._

" _Is it birds again?" his mother asked with a forged smile, hardly masquerading her disappointment for not having a decent meal in days._

" _Yeah, but don't worry, we may be tight on cash right now, but I promise you we'll eat better soon." he assured genuinely optimistic._

" _It's okay, father. What matters is that we're all fine, right?" Bertholdt_   _said carefree._

" _You said it! You should have been there, son. I shot those birds right on the wings, so I wouldn't spoil the meat. One day, I'll bring you with me on one of my hunts. You might even turn out better than me!" he spoke while ruffling his hair._

_His mother refused to be delusional, unlike her husband. She thought rationally and logically, so when she found herself cornered by poverty, she only pretended to be optimistic for her son's sake._

" _Hey, we'll be fine" his father comforted the obviously distressed woman. "Even if things get worse, which won't happen, we still have each other."_

" _Of course, things will turn out fine." she muttered unconvincingly_.

_Things didn't turn out fine._

"Hey, focus!" Annie snapped after being ignored.

"Oh... Sorry, I was just walking through memory lane..." he chucled nervously. "Ok, so, I see you have a perfect posture, now just aim and shoot."

Since, Bertholdt's father was absent for some mysterious reason once again. The responsibility of teaching Annie the ways of sharpshooting befell on him. She was actually learning far better than him, when he started. Since she had good hips, he advised her to adopt a sitting position while aiming, as it would be more comfortable for her.

When she pulled the trigger, she almost hit her target. To her surprise, when she did it, the riffle she was holding pushed her back to the ground. Her face looked like she had just been slapped.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I forgot to tell you about the recoil." he tried to control his laughter with all his might, but some still managed to surface.

Annie was pissed. She wanted to grab him by his puny throat and bludgeon his pathetic face with her fists, just before breaking his shins with the rifle that caused her too fall, followed by a shot in his 'baby maker' and then proceeding to laugh while he died of blood loss. However, fortunately for him, she was mature enough to let trivial things like this slide.

"Here, let me help you." he generously offered his hand to her.

"Thanks..." she muttered ashamed, after accepting his hand. "Hey, uh... I want you to know that the things I said yesterday... Maybe I came of as more aggressive than I intended, but don't get me wrong, I'm not sorry and I don't regret slapping some sense into you". She admitted.

"It's okay, I understand. You said those things to me, because you thought I would be happier if I didn't trust anyone and thought for myself. You were just trying to protect like friends do, so... thank you." he murmured with a genuine smile. It's just in his nature to see the good side of everyone.

"Wow, I can't tell if you're nice or just stupid. And who said anything about us being friends?" she scoffed. Everything he had just said was cringy for her, especially the part where he said 'friends'.

"When you said I shouldn't believe everything I'm told, I started thinking. I think you want to have friends, but you believe that that puts you in a vulnerable position..." he theorized softly.

"Urrgh! You're not just stupid, you're downright naive." she spoke with discust and resumed the technique he had just taught her. She wanted that conversation to end.

"Is it because your father disappointed you? He just puts you through all this, because he loves you, you know." he tried comfort her.

"What do you know about my father?!" her temper flared. "Fighting until I pass out from exhaustion, just so I can be send off to a hellhole and die earlier than I was supposed to, is not love. Wasting your daughter's childhood and deprive her of friends is just pure selfishness. He treats you nicely, but he's lying, just like everybody." her voice started cracking.

He delved deep in a sensitive part of her heart that was off limits for everyone, and that made her visibly furious. Bertholdt was genuinely frightened of her wrathful posture. And he should be, she was seriously considering murdering him. Or at the very least hitting him once with all her might in a sensitive part of his body.

"Hey, calmed down! I didn't mean to anger you, I was just trying to help..." he unsuccessfully tried to appease her.

Just before she could answer. He glanced to the direction from whence they came. He instinctively did that frequently, because his father taught him be extremely wary of anyone who might see them shooting. Eldians are not supposed to wield fire weapons freely, so they had to be very careful, despite practicing in a place where no one wanders. He saw two human figures.

"Quick, hide the weapons!" he whispered to her ear, before they stored them inside some bushes.

She was still trying to calm down.

As those two people approached, they started recognising them. They were Mr. And Mrs. Azelas, a married couple who happened to be their neighboors. They were quite antisocial, but they always treated everyone with kindness.

"Why hello there! What are you doing here?" Mrs. Azelas inquired with a wide grin.

"Nothing, just playing..." Annie replied in an unfriendly way.

"I see, well, we were just going for a walk before your parents arrived." Mr. Azelas continued.

"Our parents are going to your house?" Bertholdt asked.

"Didn't they tell, you? We invited them over for some tea. We thought they would bring you along." the husband stated curiously.

"Yes, well we have things to do so..." Annie was hoping they would leave already.

"What kind of things?" the wife asked in a sweet tone.

"We were about to plant a tree in this meadow called 'none of your business' until you showed up." she scoffed impatiently.

_Why is she being so mean?_

"Alright, alright, there's no need to get angry. We were just leaving." Mr. Azelas held his hands up in surrender in hopes of trying to calm down Annie.

"Well, goodbye then." the couple excused themselves in choir and walked away smiling.

After those two reached a distance where they weren't able to listen to the children, Bertholdt asked:

"Why were you so hostile?!"

"Something is not right. Those two never approached anyone before. My father would never, under no circumstance, visit someone's house, much less without me and you said your parents are always busy, right? And yet, they're all skipping their duties. Something's fishy, I know it." she spoke puzzled.

"Yeah, now that you mention it, that is pretty weird..." he agreed confused.

"Did you noticed her bruises?" she questioned, trying to link this piece of evidence to the adults' strange behaviour.

"No... I didn't see anything out of the ordinary..." he confessed.

"Let's follow them." she announced before starting to walk in their direction, disregarding his choice.

"Wait, won't we get in trouble?" he muttered scared.

"Come." that was more an order than an invitation.

* * *

"The tea is lovely!" Mrs. Hoover stated after taking a sip of Mrs. Azelas's tea.

"Why thank you! But do leave some for me, I barely drank any." she spoke jokingly.

All of the Azelas couple's expected guests were present in their house: Mr. Hoover, Mrs. Hoover and Mr. Leonhart. Their house was extremely large and detailed by Eldian standards. Everything was quite fancy. From the outside the house looked lavish. It was built with spruce wood and had blue stone decorations. It was equipped with a large kitchen, where a gramophone catches the attention, apparently, they listened to music while cooking.

"Tell me Mrs. Hoover, will you give malaria vaccines to the people" inquired Mr. Azelas.

"Yes, we don't want a plague running loose now, don't we?" she answered jokingly.

"Well, let me tell you it was very kind of you to vaccinate us against tetanus." Mrs. Azelas continued the conversation.

"Don't mention it, I was just doing my job." she dismissed smugly.

"Speaking of which, don't you despise the Marleyan healthcare propaganda? I mean 'We must prevent those dirty Eldians from catching diseases, or else the good people will suffer'. How dare they!" Mr. Azelas scoffed hatefully.

Everyone gasped.

"You shouldn't say those sorts of things, it's dangerous" Mr. Hoover warned.

"Oh c'mon, we're neighboors, we can trust each other. Let's be honest, we all agree Marleyans are awful!" Mrs. Azelas continued.

"No, we don't." Mr. Leonhart snapped. "Let's change the subject, how do you make your tea so delicious?"

"Oh that?!" Mrs. Azelas appreciated the compliment. "I use some rare leaves in one of those trees near the meadow. The problem is that they're quite tall, so I end up falling frequently." she chuckled embarrassed.

"Is that why you have so many bruises in your arms?" Mr. Leonhart asked. He knew more about bruises than anyone in that kitchen.

"Er... yes." she meekly responded.

He wasn't entirely convinced.

"Speaking of the meadow, we were going for a walk there and saw your kids. They said they were playing. Why didn't you brought them, we made a cake thinking about them?" Mr. Azelas added.

"We wanted to, but they refused. I think they just wanted some time alone, if you catch my drift." Mr. Hoover teased.

"Oh my! I guess, you're never too young for love, right dear?" Mr. Azelas poked his elbow on his wife and they both laughed until they noticed their guests were unamused.

"So, have you been preparing your kids for the Marleyan government program?" Mrs. Azelas atempted to break the ice.

"We thought about it, but ultimately decided against it. Our son wouldn't stand a chance, it's too much of a risky gamble considering he's a source of income, due to his labour in the farms. Poor thing, but it's the only way to put food on the table." Mrs. Hoover replied melancholic.

"That option is still open for my daughter, but I don't think there'll be any need for that." Mr. Leonhart replied emotionlessly.

"Is that so? We asked, because one day, when I was cleaning the windows, I noticed you were teaching your daughter some sort of martial art." Mrs. Azelas confessed.

"I was just teaching her how to defend herself, you never know when some random stalker starts observing your every move." he spoke coldly and his eyes became slits.

"R-Right..." Mr. Azelas meekly muttered, looking down.

The atmosphere grew tense. So Mrs. Azelas brang more food, to relieve the tension. Everyone almost fought for the tea, so she brought an extra large dose of it, hoping she would take a sip this time. She also brought fried chicken, that the men devoured; carrot soup, mostly consumed by the women and for the dessert; a simple chocolate cake, adored by the Hoovers, caramel pudding, which revealed to only attract the attention of Mr. Leonhart; and a classic apple pie, that was only eaten by Mr. Azelas, the latter's wife didn't have dessert, fearing the potential calories she would consume.

The next hours were dominated by small talk. Until Bertholdt's mother noticed something strange.

"Mr. Azelas, you look very pale, is something wrong?" the expert nurse questioned worried.

"I-I can't..." was all he said before he fell face first.

Naturally, his wife screamed horrified. Panic installed, but the nurse kept her cool and touched his wrist, searching for pulse.

"H-His dead" she whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're probably thinking right now: "What the hell! I was not expecting a murder mystery in here". I know, I know, as of right now it kinda seems like it won't fit the story much, but you'll see that what is about to happen, will strongly shape a certain character's actions. So any ideas who killed the guy and why?
> 
> BTW are you hungry for some Reiner? I sure am, don't worry he'll show up later on in the story.


	5. No remorse

"So what happened, exactly?" interrogated a Marleyan officer.

"We were just dining normally, when he dropped dead out of the blue. Then, my husband went to summon the authorities right afterwards." answered Mrs. Hoover distressed.

"Are all the witnesses of the murder present here?" he continued.

"No. The deceased's wife mentioned she wasn't feeling well and then disappeared. We assumed she went to her bedroom, I tried checking on her, but she locked the door." she remained visibly shocked throughout her report.

The police officer knocked the door, where Mrs. Azelas allegedly locked herself in, vigorously during a long period of time, to no avail, there was no answer. For each bang he produced, the three guests grew increasingly more stressed out, for they feared the worst. On the other hand, he was growing increasingly more impatient, he was sick of interacting with an inferior species, especially because there could be potentially a murderer on the loose, meaning he could be very well risking his life for worthless scum.

He had enough. Both his duty and his anger persuaded him to force the door open.

The grim sight everyone beheld the second the door no longer blocked the room's frame sky rocketed the levels of tension in all the four beholders. Mrs. Azelas was suspended in the air, with a rope hanging from the ceiling covering her neck, beneath her there was a fallen chair.

They also found a creepy letter on the floor next to that night's second corpse. It read: " _I'm fucking done with this shithead. It's bad enough that they sent me to this hellhole to literally watch shitty human beings, but I also had to put up with this fucker. I had a wonderful life until you separated me from my family and friends and caged me with a guy who beat me up whenever he felt like it. Do you know how does it feel to be constantly cornered with no chance of escape? Since you sticked_   _me in here, my family is in deep shit because I wasn't there for them, I don't even know if they're still alive. Death is my only friend now, it is the only one capable of quelling my sorrow, drugs can no longer do that. Fuck him, fuck this life and FUCK YOU!_ ".

It's enigmatic words puzzled everyone who read them. None of it made sense, it was completely devoid of logic for those who interacted with the couple. Both seemed so jolly and friendly, albeit rather antisocial.

* * *

"According to the coroner, the time of death of the first deceased was around 9:32 pm, the cause of death was morphine hydrochloride overdose. The second deceased died by hanging at around 10:46 pm, she also had old and recent bruises all over her body and there was found a small quantity of morphine in her system, she was probably addicted. We found a suicide letter, signed by the wife, stating she would murder him and then kill herself, we checked the calligraphy and it was a perfect match. It's important to point out that both were undercover Marleyan spies we deployed on that neighbourhood, whose objective was finding Eldians with negative opinions of the Marleyan people and bring them to justice, so it's possible that suspects they invited may have found out their true identities and staged a murder." explained the Marleyan police officer who discovered both bodies.

"Did anyone leave the crime scene." asked a Marleyan detective.

"We can confirm only an Eldian guy left the crime scene, to call the authorities. We checked the recordings in their spying audio microphone, that was masquerading as a gramophone and you can clearly hear footsteps moving away from the recorder after the first death, meaning he left through the front door to call us. You can hear everyone's cries of panic throughout the whole ordeal, none of them left the room. Until the second deceased mentioned she wasn't feeling well and then you can hear footsteps approaching the recorder that was next to the bedroom, where she was hanging, then you can hear the door closing and locking." he reported.

"And as for the evidence?" he questioned. This seemed like a pretty straightforward murder. He highly doubted a stupid Eldian could cover up an homicide so masterfully.

"Besides the letter, we only found a bottle with a label that read ' _morphine hydrochloride_ ' with the wife's fingerprints all over it, clearly indicating she used it to poison her husband." the impatient police officer claimed. He was sick of that case, he just wanted to go home and pray for the murderer to slaughter some filthy Eldians, assuming the killer wasn't the wife, which was clearly not the case.

The detective examined a blueprint that detailed the movements of the guests, according to the footsteps heard in the concealed recorder. Footsteps that can be heard approaching correspond to the ones approaching the bedroom, where the wife hanged herself, and footsteps that distancing from the recorder matched those who left the house. It also showed who ate what that night:

Mr. Hoover: tea, fried chicken, chocolate cake

Mrs. Hoover: tea, carrot soup, chocolate cake

Mr. Leonhart: tea, fried chicken, caramel pudding

Mr. Azelas: tea, fried chicken, apple pie

Mrs. Azelas: tea, carrot soup

"Listen up, rookie, no murder could be more simple to crack than this one. The morphine was in the apple pie, since it was the only thing the guy didn't share, the label with 'morphine hydrochloride' written on it with the wife's fingerprints prove this. The recorder reveals none of the guests, approached the kitchen where the pie was, so she was the only one with the opportunity to poison the damn thing. Unless the guests knew they were spies, in that case, if they walked tip toeing the recorder wouldn't reveal anything, that clearly didn't happen as the hosts would surely find that behaviour strange and make a comment. We can infer the wife wasn't strangled either, because her windpipe was pulled up, which is what happens to people who hang. If she was strangled to fake a suicide, then her windpipe would suggest it was pulled back. Besides, there were no signs of struggle. Then there's the fact that the guests didn't have a motive, unlike the wife. He was beating her, so she had enough, I bet she invited those guys to spite his family sooner." the old detective mused confidently.

"I forgot to mention! Those five had injection wounds on their arms. Supposedly, the nurse gave a tetanus vaccine to everyone in there." the young police officer recalled. "There's always the possibility that she injected an antidote on everyone who didn't die, or that she injected the morphine on the guy." he thought out loud.

"Are you fucking retarded? There's no antidote for overdoses, genius. Besides, if she had injected the morphine on the guy that time, he would have died a lot sooner." he barked annoyed.

* * *

Bertholdt couldn't forget what he had seen the night before. Himself and Annie were both sneakily peering the events through the window. They noticed their parents were acting particularly strangely lately, so they decided to examine their actions. When the man fell, he witnessed the most horrifyingly traumatizing sight of his life. His body felt compelled to send tears down his eyes to wash away the dread. Annie remained emotionless. However, it wasn't the death that shook him. He had witnessed it countless times publicly, when an Eldian was executed by firing squad, for speaking ill of Marley. What send shivers down his spine was the suspicions he held against his mother, his best friend, one of the only two people in that world he would die for.

He noticed her planting something on the tea pot, at the time he assumed it was just sugar, which is still weird, but his doubts dissipated when she gripped a seemingly medication bottle and placed it somewhere out of his field of view. He closed the distance between the window and his face as painfully as possible and frowned his eyes, forcing them to focus on the tiny letters, the label read ' _morphine hydrochloride_ '. That's when he was reminded of one of his happiest memories, a memory he recalls whenever he feels lonely and sad: The memory of her mother teaching him how to read through medication labels. He remembered her mother telling him that the first letter in a label is a capital letter. Therefore, he could only conclude that she ripped a part of the label, though he still wasn't sure exactly why.

He was obsessively inspecting one of his mother's nurse books. It was a colossal list of drugs and medications, where he was trying to find one whose name ended with '...  _morphine hydrochloride'._ He was having a hard time doing it, due to the blurry vision his heartfelt tears caused, and the shivers and sobs that consumed him weren't helping.

_Mommy is the best person I have ever met. She's sweet and caring, there's no way she would be capable of taking a life, especially a innocent one._

Bertholdt often lied to himself, in order to diminish the already present pain he felt constantly, consequently his little heart was pumping blood lightning fast, because it was desperately clinging to the hope that he was just being paranoid.

It didn't took long until he found one medication that fit his criteria flawlessly. It was in the 'A' section: 'Apomorphine hydrochloride', the book revealed it induced vomit.

His head stormed with theories. To him, the world shattered, his worst fear was coming to life.

"What are you doing with my book, dear?" softly addressed an all too familiar female voice.

His head turned abruptly and his gaze mated with the best person he knew. His mother was smiling weakly, it seemed she wasn't aware of her beloved son's doubts. He hardly even noticed his father was also there.

"I-I saw... I saw everything last night..." he muttered meekly.

"What was that?" she tilted her head slightly to her right side in confusion.

"At our neighbour's house... I saw... Please tell me you didn't have anything to do with that." he mustered up all the little courage he had to form that incoherent sentence, and he already regretted speaking it.

"You saw that? How..." she exclaimed bewildered. Then she realized explaining herself was more important. "Honey, that was a very sad incident. Saving him was beyond my skills." she sounded genuinely innocent, but he wasn't so sure.

"But I saw... You put..." his words were too clouded by sobs to be heard.

"Just come clean already, he's onto us." his father, who was remorsefully staring at the ground in shame, confessed. "I wouldn't expect nothing less from my son."

She felt as though she had been stabbed in the back, like someone had just revealed a terrible secret.

"P-Please, just tell me. I'm trying to understand you... but I just can't... Please, don't lie... I never lie to you, so just tell me the truth, I need to know it.

" _There's no turning back, huh?"_ the mother thought.

"Son, we live in a terrible, unfair world, where the truth is often painful. Sometimes we have to bad things for those we love. Do you still want to know the truth?" she questioned. She couldn't bring herself to look him in the eyes and there were tears forming in hers.

Bertholdt's tongue was paralysed by dread. Nodding was all he could do.

"Mr. and Mrs. Azelas were Marleyan spies." his father took the initiative when he noticed the woman was hesitant to talk. Bertholdt gasped and his eyes widened. "They were rich as fuck, and they never told anyone what they did for a living. That's when we started suspecting if they were really Eldians. They were always asking questions and intruding, but I became certain when I got problems at work. You see, some Marleyan fuckers started shit with me, because someone told them that they believed I had been using guns illegally. Only someone from the neighbourhood would know such a thing. We knew it was those two."

"When Mr. Leonhart noticed they were prying on her daughter, we came up with a plan. He would get closer to them, for it was only a matter of time before they invited us over to their house. Everyone knows Marleyan spies ask their Eldian neighbours to come over and try to extract their opinions of Marley, if you fall on their trap, they'll execute you. Whatever the outcome, they would eventually find out that your father had been using guns without permission and then the three of us would get killed." river streams poured out of her eyes and her voice started cracking when she uttered the word 'three'.

"For the Leonhart's and our sake, we had to dispose of them. Your mother's plan was planting poison on their tea pot and injecting 'Apomorphine' or whatever the fuck that was in me, herself and Leonhart, that thing would make us vomit the poison out. She had also vaccinated everyone against tetanus, so it wouldn't seem suspicious the fact that we had injection wounds. We would make sure the wife wouldn't drink much, just enough to let her pass out. The husband drank enough to die and then after the wife said she wasn't feeling well, your mother strangled her with a rope she had with her, the tricky part was that she had to push her head down with her foot, she had to use a pillow to avoid wounds on the head, and pull the rope up, that way, it would seem like she died from hanging, rather than strangling. She took her to the bedroom, locked it and escaped through the window, while tip toeing. She and I came back to the house, stepping at the same time to avoid anyone hearing through their audio mic from hearing two people walking." the father continued embarrassed. His mother couldn't even open her eyes at that moment.

It was all too detailed, he was having a hard time understanding their plot. Worst of all, he was having a hard time believing his mother did all that. No. He refused to believe such a thing. His mother was an angel, she was as kind as they come.

"Son, sometimes we have to give up our own humanity to ensure the happiness of those we love... There are monsters everywhere who will trample you just, because they can... The sad thing is, in this cruel world, sometimes we have to become monsters if we want to defeat monsters." she was crying uncontrollably. The remorse she felt was exclusively due to the heart ache she was causing on her son.

The corners of her lips curved upward. "But you know what? I don't regret anything... Because I did for you, dear. I would do anything for you. I only hope that when you become a warrior, you remember that not all monsters are evil. You may have to do terrible things, you may make people cry, but remember that you're doing it for love, and that's all that matters. Love justifies everything." she preached, while emotionally caressing his cheeks with her hands.

That woman was always a cold machine devoid of feelings, bound by logic alone. For as long as she could remember, she was unable to feel anything significant. She pretended to be normal when she was around other people, but on the inside, she felt nothing. Bertholdt and to a certain extent, her husband, were the only ones capable of triggering a strong desire, a longing, a yearning, a craving. They made her understand how does it feel to be human, to be alive. She was addicted to the way they made them feel. She didn't care about anything else. They were everything for her. Those who dared threaten their well being taught her a new emotion: Rage.

_He's looking at me like I'm some sort of remorseless monster. No remorse. That's right, I feel nothing. Why should I? When you have wanted someone dead, longed for it, planed it, and watched the last flicker of life in their eyes. He's trying to see exactly why I did it, what I felt. All of it seems so... inevitable now, as it began years and years ago, and yet it was only yesterday. But the beginning... The beginning was so happy._

Honestly, she envied her son's empathy, he had no idea how good it was to not feel like a monster all the time.

"Your mother is right. Warriors have to kill evil island dwellers. Everyone feels bad when they hurt someone, even when they deserve it. But warriors don't kill because they feel like it, they do it because they love their country and the people they left there. Never forget this, son. It's okay to hurt, if it's for the greater good! Descending to a monster isn't always bad!" his father emotionally screamed. He, too, was crying.

The three were now hugging each other forcefully, all of them crying and sobbing. They felt hurt, they needed comfort and understanding, which they were providing to each other, like family does.

_I won't be able to do it. I can't hurt anyone, no matter how diabolical. I'm not a strong like daddy, I'm not a monster like mommy. They should be warriors, not me. I'm useless, all I do is hold them back. Without me, they would have enough money to be happy. No wonder Annie hates a weak scum like me. If only I was strong... I should just drop dead already._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you find the murder mystery too complicated? If you're still confused after re-reading, I'll be happy to clarify, the clues are all there. In this chapter the Marleyan spies... Er I mean... The Azelas have a gramophone with a secret audio microphone, just like in the manga's chapter 95. There's a pannel where Reiner stares at a gramophone. It is revealed that the Marleyans were listening in on their conversation through it. I thought you'd conclude right away that they were spies when I wrote that they had one, but I was happy to see no one suspected anything.
> 
> Speaking of Reiner, he'll show up in the next chapter ;)
> 
> Oh and I called them Azelas, because I've been playing Final Fantasy XII Zodiac Age and there's a character, who turns out to be a traitor, whose last name is Azelas, so that was a clue that they were spies.
> 
> BTW I forgot to mention, Bert's mommy knew the husband beat up the wife, because she vaccinated her bruised arm. Since you have to sign a lot of stuff in the medical world, she had the wife's handwriting, that's when she came up with a plan to frame her.


	6. Hug me when I come back

Annie's caloric reserve would soon reach it's end, just like her patience. Her muscles were screaming to stop as she heavily gasped for air, that little do to cool down the scorching heat she was feeling. Given the fact that the day she would leave her father's cabin, to try her luck in the Marleyan Government Program, was nearing, he submitted her under a particularly rigorous training, which was far too demanding for her undeveloped body.

That training consisted in him yelling the name of techniques, that she had to quickly execute on him. At the beginning, he wouldn't retaliate. However, if she took more than one second to perform the movement she was ordered to or if she performed it incorrectly, he would get increasingly more aggressive.

"What are you doing, Annie? Continue!" he wrathfully ordered. He was investing too much on her, whether she liked it or not, she had to give it her all. Anything less was unacceptable.

"No! I don't wanna!" she yelled. Even though she rarely left her house, she watched the other children around her age enough to know how pathetically weak they all were. She knew most of those who would soon compete against her had little to know training backing them up. She was confidant she would easily earn one of the titan powers, but most of all, she was very aware of her superior skills in not just combat, at that point she also had gunmanship and mental strength going for her. Her most problematic threat was Bertholdt, but even him was no match for her. For these reasons, she saw no point in trying harder. She had already reached her peak.

"What are you talking about?! This isn't time for rest!" he roared. How did she dare disobey him? His word was absolute, her opinions were irrelevant. He was already planning the physical punishment she would receive.

She couldn't take it anymore. Throughout all her life, all she did was fight, fight and fight some more. No friends. No mother. No love. Only an abusive father who treated her like a tool. In her heart, she felt a pit, a high energy vortex that keeps pulling her down and down. It was like one of those dreams where we keep falling and falling and there seems no end to it and if that wasn't enough, slowly a light appears to dim and before she knew it, she was surrounded with this dark, empty, space filled with nothing but her negativity and suffering and then from the darkness, thoughts appear that it's better to curl up and die somehow, rather than to make futile efforts to climb back up towards the little rays of light that still sometimes penetrate that dark, soulless pit. Perhaps that was why she didn't have friends or love.

The words her father had just roared were the straw that broke the camel's back.

Consumed by her flaring temper, she launched the most violent onslaught her years of training allowed to her father's left shin. Caught off guard, even an expert like her father fell to the ground. But that wasn't enough, he didn't suffer enough for the pain he caused her. Even after he fell, she kept kicking him, over and over again. Unlike what she had expected, each kick only fueled her wrath. She was aware she would be severely punished later, but she didn't care, that was probably one of the last days she would spend with her caretaker, so she had to take this once in a life time chance to express her feelings. It felt good be the one in control for a change.

Why didn't he show her the slightest amount of kindness, at least once? She understood that he needed to be rigid, but was all that torture necessary? Up until recently, she pegged him for a piece of shit. However, at least she thought he was an honest piece of shit, which she could tolerate. But when Bertholdt came practicing with them, he was a completely different person, from then on, she saw him as lying pile of shit. Though he was also very strict with him, he showed him kindness. She couldn't help recalling the first time he came to their cabin, when she pushed the boy to the ground, he helped him up and soothed him with kind words, something he wouldn't be caught dead doing to her. She couldn't deny she was jealous, at that moment she had to look away, the sight was too painful.

But alas, all pleasures come to an end. Her father grabbed her right ankle and pushed it with all his strength. She fell so quickly, her arms didn't have time to cushion the fall, which caused the back of her head to collide with the floor, right on a tiny rock. The impact was very audible and a crimson liquid flowed out of her head, but it didn't end there. He gripped her other ankle and started raising the angle between her legs as humanly possible, hoping the pain would prove to be a better teacher than him. At an angle of 180º degrees, the pain was already unbearable.

"How dare you harm your father?! Apologize immediately!" she had never seen him that angry, though she couldn't say she blamed him.

"Urgh… Stop! It hurts!" she whimpered as she wallowed in pain.

Smoke came out of his nostrils. Even though it pained him, he felt forced to pull her leash harder than ever. He started punching her nose, her teeth, her cheeks, but she avoided her eyes. He didn't want to ruin her chances of becoming a warrior after all.

"I'm sorry!" she screamed. She was just mirroring what she wanted to hear from him. At that moment, she was broken inside and outside. She wondered what was the point of living… why did she bother getting out of the bed in the morning…? Probably, because her father would beat her if she didn't…

She didn't dine or slept in her house that night. She curled up in a fetal position, in an attempt to keep herself warm and tried to ignore the rumbles her stomach barked so she could sleep. Her father mentioned warriors have to get used to sleep deprivation and starvation so she knew she could endure it.

 

* * *

 

"I'm sorry, Karina. But your son is fucking awful at rugby. I can't let him be part of the team." the Eldian rugby coach apologized as tactful as possible.

"Please! Can't you just give him one more chance? He loves this sport!" she argued. She didn't want her son to be sad.

"I'm very sorry, but I already gave him far too many chances. He can't even run correctly!" he countered.

"Hmph… very well. I'll look elsewhere…" she admitted her son wasn't the sharpest tool in the shelf, but she still couldn't understand how someone could destroy a child's dream so easily. She just had to find another sport that made her son happy.

With a disappointed expression, she turned around to the direction of her beloved son, Reiner Braun. When her eyes mated with his, she put on a happy mask almost instantly.

"So, what did the coach say?" the boy asked. He was confidant it wasn't anything bad, as he believed he was quite good at rugby.

"He said you have to leave the team, because you were SO GOOD, that the other kids wouldn't stand a chance. He also mentioned he didn't have anything to teach you, since you were already an expert the day you joined." she assured. She often lied to her son to stimulate the fuel that convinces her that life is worth living: his smile.

"Really?" he gasped joyfully. "But… I wanted to play rugby…" he muttered meekly.

"Reiner, think about the other kids. Do you think they would have fun if you played with them? If you were on their team, they wouldn't do anything, because you can easily overshadow them all together. If you were on their opposite team, they knew they would loose from the very start. " she dramatically explained. "Your coach asked me not tell you this, but he said he was extremely jealous of your skills and he wished you were his son."

"He did? Wow, I'm even better than I thought. But what will I play now?" he questioned cheerfully.

"Don't worry about it, we'll figure something out. Hey, I know what'll make you feel better. Given the fact that you're a wonderful boy, the ice cream fairy asked me to give you ice cream! Cherish it, the ice cream fairy only gives ice cream to the best kids!" she continued her web of lies and handed him over a cookie cone with three balls of a frozen dessert, that she was hiding behind her back. "She also gave me a little extra for your good behavior!" she gave him a few small sugar sachets for him to add.

"Yay!" he screamed, before adding sugar to his treat.

"That's enough sugar, Reiner." she commanded sternly.

"Why?" he asked disappointed. She didn't spoke to him that darkly often.

"Because you're sweet enough!" she whispered warmly next to his ear as she embraced him in her loving arms.

She didn't want him to watch the tear that escaped her eye.

" _I'm gonna_   _miss you so much."_ she emotionally thought.

 

* * *

 

"Mommy, are you okay? You've been acting strange lately…" Reiner asked. His mother was unusually melancholic. Furthermore, she's been spoiling him frequently, despite their family's low income and she's been emotionally needy as of late.

Karina was sitting on her bed and Reiner was sitting on her lap. She was staring intently at the wall, her mind wondering what was the best course of action she had access to.

"Reiner, do you know why we live like shit?" she questioned whimsically, hoping she would masquerade the rage in her voice. Reiner's eyes widened upon hearing that last word. He was very surprised, because his mother never cussed, and she consistently told him not to do it either.

"Emmm…" still shocked, he took too much time forming a sentence in his thoughts. Honestly, he had no idea why.

"We were abandoned. That's why we live in these camps surrounded by walls." she interrupted him. She didn't care about his answer, she knew it was wrong. She lied about various things, in order to maintain his jolly self, but the lie she was about to confess had to be eliminated sooner or lately. "In the past, we did horrible things. We have demon's blood flowing through us. If one doesn't stay within their cage, they become a nuisance to others. The reason you don't have a father is because of that curse too. Your father is a Marleyan… and a Marleyan having an Eldian child is strictly forbidden." Karina was trying her hardest not to convey melancholy in her voice.

" _So that's why I never met daddy. Mommy was always saying he loved me, but couldn't see me…"_ Reiner mused in his mind.

"This… is a secret, okay?" her voice turned slightly more threatening.

"Ok..." he responded weakly. Her tone scared him a little.

"Because we, Eldians, inherited the Devil's blood… we cannot be with him… If only we were born as Marleyan…" finally, her happy mask fell. Those last words were spoken with genuine sorrow, her voice cracked several times throughout her sentence.

A second tear escaped her eyes, that day. And just like the first, Karina positioned herself in a way he wouldn't notice. Reiner could tell she missed his father deeply.

"How was dad like?" that was the question he desired an answer the most, but was always too afraid to ask, as he knew his mother would get depressed the moment it escaped his lips.

"He's super tall and buff, just like you when you grow up, I'm sure. This is because he's a war hero. If only you were there to see… he pulled out a gun and killed an armed army of 500.000, THEN he started shooting!" her cheerful mask suddenly returned. "And when he was coming back home, he was bitten by a viper. After 3 days of agonizing pain, the viper died." she whimsically kept on casting nonsensical lies, that her naïve son accepted as truth, for he didn't know better.

"Really?! Tell me more!" he ordered ecstatically.

"Hand sanitizers can kill 99% of germs, your father kills 100% of whatever he wants." seeing him smile converted her forced happiness into genuine glee. "But despite being extremely strong, he cares a lot about you. When he learned he had to stay away from you forever, he cried his eyeballs out. You have no idea how much he loves you…" she spoke softly. "You know, if you participated in the Marleyan Government Program, we could attain honorary Marleyan status, and then you could finally meet your father. I don't want to force you to go, but… do you want to?"

"You don't mind?! I'm so glad you brought that up! I really wanted to try, but I was afraid you wouldn't let me…" the naïve boy had no idea of what he would get into.

"Oh! You have no idea how hearing you say that fills my heart with joy!" Karina would hate to send off her most important treasure on an impossible mission, considering his poor preparation, but she was that desperate.

And so he enlisted on the Marleyan Government Program.

 

* * *

 

On the day she would start the Program, Annie couldn't be in a bigger hurry to leave that God-forsaken cabin. Not because she wanted to be a hero, not because she held a grudge against the evil Eldians who ruined the other Eldians life, not even because she wanted a better life! What drove her, was the opportunity to stay away from the man responsible for her pain, for all her problems and the chance of finally be independent.

"It seems we won't see each other for a long time… I suppose this is goodbye…" her father muttered. He didn't know what else to say.

"I guess…" she whispered meekly. Then she turned around and started walking. She just wanted that to get over with, but most of all, she wanted to avoid touchy-feely speeches at all costs. Those disgusted her. Not that she was expecting one from the rock that is her father…

"Wait, Annie!" He yelled, displaying an unusual level of emotions in his voice. He grabbed her shoulders and turned her around to face him. His head was leaning down, he was too ashamed to look at her in the eyes. "When I started preparing you for the Program, I thought you would love the art of fighting like I did, I thought you would love spending time with your father… In this world, everyone wants to see you cry, that's why I wanted to keep you close to me for as long as I could, I wanted to fill you with the love no other person would ever be able to give, I wanted to be better than the world, but I turned out as awful as everyone … I was wrong. I won't ask you to forgive me now. But… I just have one favor to ask. Turn the entire world against you if you have to. Even if everyone in the world comes to hate you… At least know that dad will be on your side!" he was on the verge of tears. His little girl, the only one he loved, his treasure was about to leave his nest. He knew he would miss waking her up, seeing her face, hearing her cute voice… Annie was having a hard time believing his words, she was staring at him puzzled. He had to be lying, he had to…

"So promise me… that you'll come back!" he hugged her with all the affection his heart spared. The gesture was so foreign for her, she felt surprised and uncomfortable when he embraced her. She wasn't even sure how to respond physically, which dissuaded her arms from moving.

He was… crying. That was all the evidence she needed to infer he wasn't lying. He was being honest… He… genuinely loved her, she wasn't just a tool for him after all. After she processed what had just happened, she realized she was going to miss him too, just like he would miss her. All he ever did was out of love. All she ever wanted was love.

She was now crying as well.

"I promise, dad! We will se each other again, even if I have to sell my soul to the Devil. I will practice those advanced techniques you tried to teach me and when I come back, I know you'll praise . I won't expect you to gush, I know you're bad at expressing yourself. But I… I-I love you dad. If I can make you crack a smile, that'll be plenty. Just make sure that when I come back and jump into your arms with joy, you catch me, OK?" those were the most emotional words that ever left her lips. She hugged him harder that he was hugging her and was crying more than him too.

"I know you don't like fighting… you don't have to impress me with your skills if you hate them. From now on, you're free to do what you love!" he released her from the shackles he hated himself for binding her in.

"I have to go… Goodbye dad." she whined.

"Goodbye. And never forget… I don't want you to learn this the hard way like me… The world is dark, and selfish, and cruel. If it finds even the slightest ray of sunshine it destroys it without thinking twice." he preached gruffly, anger emerging in his voice.

The corner of his lips curved upwards. "But that's okay, because dad will always be there for you, I'm the only one you can trust."

" I know dad…" she responded meekly.

"Not even that boy I taught is trustworthy. I know you like Bertholdt, but his parents are devils, especially his mother, that woman is a heartless witch, you have no idea what she did and is capable of. Never come near her, understand? I have no doubt he'll be as rotten as them. God help us if he turns out like his mother." he hissed at the thought of Bertholdt's family.

_Huh? What did she do that was so bad? It must have been horrible if she scares dad so much. She never crossed me as the dangerous type._

"Dad, before I go… can you tell me what happened to mom?" she took advantage of this emotional opportunity to touch this sensitive subject.

He smiled warmly. "You're not ready to know that yet. I promise I'll tell you one day.

Their conversation prolonged a little more. After they their heartfelt goodbye, Annie joined the Marleyan facility where she would compete for one of the titans.

_I'm gonna_   _miss you, dad._

 

* * *

 

"This is it, Reiner." Karina announced depressingly, trying her best to maintain her happy mask. "This is goodbye."

"You're so silly, mommy! No matter where you hide, I'll always find you. And when I come back, give some ice cream, I'll eat it up real quick, so we can play together like we do when you're sad. If you keep that long face, I won't play with you." he assured happily. Though deep down, he was repressing his own sorrow as well.

"All right, son." she chuckled at her son's playful words. "Don't forget that I'll always love you, we won't be separated, because I'll always be in your heart." she noted.

"I'm not that naïve, mom. I haven't see you smile for real in a long time, so when I come back, I want us to play until you laugh honestly. I know you're not as happy as you were on in the old ways, back when you were with dad. The deal is, if I become a warrior, you have to go back to normal, to your jolly self, no more faking. Don't worry about me, when I come back I want you to hold me tight like you always do when you come back home, okay." he was sick of lies.

"I love you so much, son. And remember, give those filthy Eldians in Paradis no quarter, they are responsible for our outcast status, so they deserve nothing less than death." she hissed darkly.

"I will mom. The first devil I'll squash will be just for you." he was too young too grasp how dark what he had just said was. Indoctrinated as he was, as long as it was dark for the Paradis dwellers, he probably would never grasp how much either.

"Oh, they don't deserve your presence…" she burst into tears. She promised herself she wouldn't, but she did. "Oh and you must be really curious about your father. I guess I can tell you a few things now that you're leaving. I used to work at his restaurant, at the time he had a wife, who was sick. He called an Eldian nurse to help and she did wonders! She was recovering nicely, but when she was about to regain her full health, her brother murdered her! Can you believe it!? He wanted to keep her inheritance but it back fired. Your father was devastated. That's when I was there to comfort him, then we started to develop feelings for each other and… you happened!"

"Thank you for telling me that, I really needed to hear you say that. When I come back, I'll go see him in secret." he knew that was a very summarized version of the story but he still appreciated it.

They exchanged hugs and goodbyes and finally he left.

_It can't be that hard, right?!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you haven't noticed, the jokes Karina said about Reiner's father were Chuck Norris jokes XD
> 
> Also, the scene where Annie beats her dad is actually canon, it's from a manga called "Lost Girls" and it sheds some light on Mikasa and Annie.
> 
> On another note, I wanted to show Karina's backstory, but I'm not sure if should that on the next chapter or later on, because I feel like the story is moving kinda slowly, what do you guys think? Can you guess what happened with Reiner's father's ex wife? ;) I gave enough hints.
> 
> Criticism is always welcome and appreciated.


	7. The inevitable calm before the storm

"Wait! I'm not ready to go yet… If this is the last time we're gonna see each other in a long time, then I want this memory to be comforting, not painful!" pleaded Bertholdt, right before he was taken to the place where he would dispute the power of one of the titans. He was certain that every time he would close his eyes, or try to sleep, this moment would be involuntarily summoned in his mind. He wanted to enjoy the calm, before the inevitable storm.

"C'mon son, you have to go. There's not much time left!" his father explained broken hearted. He didn't want that moment to be more painful than it already was. It hurt to set him free, it hurt much more than he wanted to admit. His heart stung with each strong palpitation it executed.

"I already knew one day I'd say goodbye to you and never say hello again. One day I'd go somewhere far away. But I didn't want it to be  _now_! I wanted more time with you! I thought maybe… I could live with you forever!" he wailed. His worst nightmare had just arrived.

"I can't believe we made go through this. All we ever wanted was to keep you safe… But now I see this is more beneficial to us, than it is for you. Just know that… no matter what we did, the life we would provide for you would always be miserable. We're too poor to make you happy! But if you succeed, which I know for a fact you will, than you'll be happier than we would ever be. With an honorary Marleyan status, everyone will love you and you'd face no more hardships. But no one would ever love you like we love you, no matter the outcome!" his mother whimpered. She recalled all the times she left for work and had her son clinging to her, crying to not leave him alone. She recalled all the times she repressed her sorrow, by telling herself she was taking the most logical and moral course of action.

"I'm sorry… I felt hurt… I was scared… But I'd never admitted it, because I didn't want to disappoint you. I'd claim I was fine after crying a little… and you always supported me, even when you weren't there. You two are kinder and stronger than everyone… That's why I'm not afraid anymore! No matter what happens you're always there for me. I'll take over protecting you and everyone else. This will all be over soon." he mustered up all the resolve he had to say that, to believe that.

"Come now, I don't want to see my future warrior cry, okay?!" his father playfully muttered on the verge of tears himself, hoping he would lighten up the mood. "Though I'm glad to see I didn't raise a heartless warrior. You may get anxious, you may have your doubts that you'll live by everyone's expectations. Not just from your future comrades, friends and instructors, but from us as well. But I'm sure when the time comes, you'll barrel through your anxieties. Hold your gun high and carry your divine power with pride. Even if you fail, we'll still be proud of you."

"I'm so sorry, you wouldn't be in your state if I didn't exist, I'm too expensive…" he mumbled ashamed.

"Don't say that!" she yelled, even though she knew it was true. It's because of their inability to manage their economy that Bertholdt was dragged into that mess.

"It's time to go, son." his father announced teary eyed.

"O-Okay… When I come back, please ruffle my hair and tell me I did fine, like you do when I score a good shot…" he spoke depressingly.

Both his parents' lips curved upwards. For some reason, the image of welcoming their son warmly, like he deserves numbed the pain they were feeling. It helped them cope.

When Bertholdt finally entered the Titan Academy, he suddenly lost his resolve. He wanted to give up and come back home. He missed his parents too much already.

"Wait! Come back. Don't be so cold. Don't make me cry!"

He was too scared of a new environment, new people, new objectives. Granted, he always wanted having something to do to keep his mind too busy from thinking about his horrid daily life and he always wanted to meet new people, hoping he would make a friend. However, he wasn't very optimistic about that after the fiasco with Annie.

_That's right, Annie! I wonder if she's lonely like me… I'll have to find her._

 

* * *

 

That year's participants of the Marleyan Government Program, that only repeated itself every 13 years, were led to a speech hall and were asked to stand by quietly in front of the exquisite dual doors. Before joining the other children, Reiner's sensitive ears could hear rowdy and overlapping chatter behind the entryway and it made his stomach coil into tight knots. His hazel eyes glanced nervously across the entire room and saw several groups of children scattered across it, they all seemed confused and discussing what to do next. A certain abnormality caught his attention, a lonely boy was shivering in a corner, visibly fighting sobs and horrified. He felt sorry for him. He looked like he needed a friend.

_Ah! That guy looks nice! I'll see if he can explain things to me. Scared as he is, surely he knows more than me._

"Hello there! I'm Reiner, we should be friends!" the blond boy rejoiced whimsically, with a friendly smile on his face.

Bertholdt's head turned abruptly to the direction of his interlocutor. He froze for a few seconds and stared at him intently in disbelief as his mind returned to reality. He was perplexed by what he had just heard for various reasons. He couldn't understand how anyone could be so calm in that situation, let alone grinning from ear to ear, didn't he miss his parents? Another reason was the fact that he was actually being approached! By a human being! With good intentions! The few people who he had interacted with, since he was born, had always dead eyes, no patience or desire to socialize whatsoever.

"U-Uhmmm… H-Hi…?" he stuttered. He was recalling one of Annie's signature phrases " _Never trust anyone, everyone wants to see you cry_." Was he just pretending to be nice so he could stab him in the back later? It couldn't be. Bertholdt trusted the good side of human nature.

"You seem distressed. Don't worry, these are the people who fight against the evil island dwellers. They're the good guys!" he babbled confidently. "Can you tell me your name?"

"I uh… I'm Bertholdt…" he meekly muttered.

"It's nice to meet 'Bertrol'! Say, do you know what we are supposed to do now?" Reiner continued gleefully.

Bertholdt couldn't believe he was making a friend. Not an imaginary friend, an actual real person! Therefore, he couldn't afford himself to let this chance slip by, so he thought it would be better if he didn't correct his potential friend about his name. That might annoy him.

"Well… Apparently, we're just supposed to wait, until everyone arrives…" the taller boy stated with a nervous smile.

"I see. Hey, wanna play hide and seek in the meantime?" he barked excitedly.

Bertholdt raised an eyebrow. That kid had to be either really brave or really naïve if he could say such a thing so carefree.

" _Do you have any idea what they're gonna_   _makes us do here?"_ the dark haired child thought to himself. " _Wait! Don't say that! He might find you off putting!_ "

"Hummm… I'd love to, but… we shouldn't bother anyone in here." he replied nervously.

"Haha! Yeah I guess the big wigs wouldn't like that… Hey, do you know anyone in…" the shorter boy was interrupted by an unknown man asking for attention on a stage.

The dark haired man, who was seemingly on his early forties, was of average height and had a bulbous nose included in his round face . The uniform he wore clearly indicated his superior position. His gruff voice was projected throughout the entire room, persuading everyone who was present to halt and direct their gaze at him.

"Attention, please! My name is Koslow Hopkins. As you all know, you'll spend the next five years in this academy training and learning how to defend the state, its citizens, and the prosecution of war against another state. Particularly, in your case, the 5 most skilled participants shall receive a titan power and partake in the Paradis Island Operation." he declared professionally, not a single emotion expressed in his voice or face.

"Now, you are all very young, consequently you may not be able to grasp completely the meaning behind your objectives, but I assure you that in time, you shall realize how positive the impact of your actions shall play upon this country and its people. Furthermore, I'm sure you miss your family and the life you left behind. Even though you have permission to go back home once every two weeks, it is advised to stay so you can practice more. You may feel sad, but remember that in here, you will make a new family, and never forget that everything you do is for the sake of our community. You will be heroes, never loose sight of that." the Marleyan continued his speech with a far more sympathetic tone.

" _Hypocrite liars! Saying we'll be a family, but the second we say or do something they don't like, they'll punish us like dogs. Father warned me about this_." Annie thought repulsed. She was leaning on one of the walls near a corner, hoping to gather the lowest amount of attention possible. She was very aware that Bertholdt would cry like a pathetic abandoned baby if he was by himself, so she assumed that he would search for her. Since she believed such hardship would toughen him up and she didn't care about his well being that much, she decided it would be best to leave him alone. Besides, she noticed he had made a new friend. It looked like her judgment was correct even when she wasn't trying.

"Through hard work and dedication, I achieved the position I am in today. As such, I understand what you might be going through right now. You may face hardships and you might consider give up, but please bear in mind that the future of our country is in your hands. All of your friends and family are relying on you, which means it is your responsibility to keep them safe. The Eldians that reside in the Paradis island are a major threat to them, they are the reason why we're stuck in this never-ending war, if it weren't for them, the good Eldians like you wouldn't have to suffer. You wouldn't have to be segregated into internment zones." he finished his speech with scorn.

 

* * *

 

After their first day in the academy, that unlike all the future others consisted exclusively of introductions, showing the facilities and setting schedules, the children were guided to their dorm rooms, where they would receive their final good rest. The dorm rooms were gender segregated and contained various time worn bed bunkers. It seems the Marleyan higher ups didn't bother pleasing those scummy Eldian kids.

"So… uhmm… D-Do you mind sharing a bed bunker with me?" asked a nervous Bertholdt who was clinging with all his might to someone that could keep him sane.

"Of course! I don't know anyone else in here anyway!" Reiner chuckled.

"Bertholdt." called Annie, who was behind them.

"There you are! I looked everywhere for you." the taller boy spoke in an unusual good mood. "Hey, this is Reiner, I just met him. Reiner, this is Annie."

"Hello there! I'm Reiner, we should be friends!" the blond boy rejoiced whimsically, with a friendly smile on his face.

"Yeah, he already said that. Hi." she muttered coldly, offering a greeting hand.

When they shook each other's hands, he wasn't expecting she would squeeze him so forcefully. It hurt so much, he was trying his hardest not to cry.

"So uhm… How do you met 'Bertrol'?" he thought small talk could distract his tears.

"What?" she found it weird why he called him 'Bertrol', but she couldn't bring herself to care either. "Whatever, I just came here to tell you not to cling on me, like you always did when we trained together. But believe it or not, I have a heart in here." she pointed at her chest. "And as such, I want you to know that the first day, tomorrow in our case, will always be the worst. You will be homesick, in a new environment and you will not see an end in sight. This will be a time where you need to be mentally tough. You have to remember to take your days one at a time because looking at the entire 5 years ahead of you will be very difficult." she soothed the boys almost like she spoke of first hand experience. Perhaps she was aware of what would happen by comparing the situation they were in with the harsh training her father put her through and he was probably the one who told her all that.

The boys were perplexed by her awareness of the unknown. She perfectly predicted how they would feel, and she even knew the exact words that could quell their stress the most. As soon as she finished speaking, she simply uttered "K, bye.", turned around and walked away, leaving both of them staring at each other confused.

"A friend of yours?" Reiner questioned amused.

"I wish…" Bertholdt replied in his usual defeated attitude.

 

* * *

 

On the female dorm room, Annie closely inspected all the bed bunkers, as she wanted to claim the one in the best conditions. Finally, she found one with small amounts of rust in its metallic support. She was also dead set on sleeping in the upper bed, given the fact that she feared the weight of the upper bed would be enough to deteriorate the already poor handles, causing it to fall on the poor soul who happened to lie beneath. Unfortunately, there was already a dark haired girl on the top bed.

"Hey you up there! I decided I would sleep in there, so if you want all your teeth you can climb down now." she threatened emotionlessly.

"What?! No, I got here first! Keep the bottom one if you want, it in good conditions too." the unknown girl defended herself tenaciously.

"Did I fucking stutter?" Annie spat, causing the other girl to flinch, as she squeezed her own knuckles hard enough for her articulations to be heard.

The other girl understood the threatening hint and slowly climbed down through the tiny stairs by the bed. Her expression was that of a beaten dog as she was visibly fighting tears.

"See? Everything's fine and happy when we cooperate." Annie spoke with a sarcastically soothing tone, while displaying a sadistic smile.

"L-Look… I don't want any troubles, okay? I just want to complete my training, that's all. I'm sure you're just as scared as me. I mean, if we're gonna spend the next five years in here, don't you think it would be better if we all got along? Let's just try overcoming this logically, what about if we start anew?" the girl reasoned maturely. "Hi! I'm Pieck, it's nice to meet you. Who are you?" she asked as friendlily as she could at that situation, before offering her hand.

"Hello, Pieck. My name is 'none of your fucking business'." she hissed aggressively as she violently gripped the other female's hand. "Listen, I don't care who you are or what you do, but I'm warning you that in here, I'm the alpha, get it? I'm the one who calls the shots. Now, unlike certain people in here I'm not a dictator, so I won't tell you what to do, but if you stand in my way of getting one of the titans I worked so hard to one day get, or if you stand in my way of anything at all… Well, let's just hope you're a masochist, understood?" she growled darkly as she viciously closed the distance between them to further her point. Her fists clenched and her chest up to appear more dangerous. The poor girl only stop moving back when she hit their stairs.

Pieck had learned the hard way that the vile blonde girl was not all talk. She not only spoke with vast amounts of intensity, she physically proved her points as well. Verbal threats were not enough; she had to demonstrate her possible actions until all of the doubts of her threatening remarks were disintegrated.

Defeated, she nodded tearfully.

"Excellent. Good night." Annie spat dismissively, while she claimed her trophy and her victim settled with the consolation prize.

She had been so mistreated by her father so frequently, she longed for the opportunity to the same to someone else. Part of her hated herself for tasting the flavour of power, of respect, of control, when she condemned such actions herself, even worse, on an innocent, harmless, scared little girl, which was the exact same thing her father did. But other part of her rejoiced sadistically on Pieck's sobs and whimpers.

Finally, poor Pieck was able to cry. Something about the way she was unnecessarily and undeservingly bullied had coaxed her body into succumbing to its much needed-release.

The flood gates had been open and she began to silently sob in the dark room that was only lighted by the pale moonlight.

"Sorry, kid..." Annie mumbled incoherently when she realized the harm she had done.

 

* * *

 

When Reiner and Bertholdt entered the room and witnessed its respectively amount of boys it included, their reaction couldn't be more different. The taller boy shrugged due to his social anxiety, while Reiner gasped at the amount of potential friends present before him.

"C'mon, let's meet them!" the blonde boy barked.

"Umhhh... Right..." the brunette shrugged anxiously. That was when Reiner finally understood that Bertholdt was actually very shy. As such, he thought it would be more comfortable for his new friend if he took the reins of their future interactions with their future comrades.

After they chose a bunker bed, Reiner felt the need to know the boys next to them. They both looked alike, despite one of them clearly appearing older than the other. The younger one had light brown hair, while the other had dark hair. In both cases, it was swept back and they had similar upturned noses.

"Hello there! I'm Reiner, we should be friends!" the blond boy rejoiced whimsically, with a friendly smile on his face.

"Holy fucking shit! That was the most fucking cringy introduction of my life. Have you actually ever interacted with a human being before? Fuck! Marcel find me some bleach, I just wanna fucking die!" the younger one scoffed, causing Reiner and Bertholdt to flinch at the way they were treated. It seemed manners weren't his strong suit.

"Porco! How dare you treat him so rudely, when he was so nice!" the older boy screamed like a parent would yell at their child if they misbehaved. Porco merely crossed his arms over his chest and looked away in disgust. "I'm very sorry Reiner. I'm Marcel and this is my brother Porco. Don't mind him, he just acts this way, 'cause he wants to seem cool." he assured friendlily. That was when he noticed there was someone hiding behind the boy he had just met. "And who might you be? Come now, there's no need to be shy, I don't bite. We're gonna be comrades after all." he soothed calmly.

Bertholdt was happy to see that he respected his comfort zone and knew how to handle it.

"I uh... I'm Bertholdt-"

"This is 'Bertrol'. He's a little shy, so I'm helping him going out of his shell." Reiner unintentionally interrupted Bertholdt, because he couldn't hear his soft words. Perhaps this was due to his childish naivety, but just liked Bertholdt the moment he met him. He saw him as a lost, helpless, wounded bird who needed love and support to be able to fly again and leave freely. He was willing to provide that love and support, just like he wished his father had done the same to him.

"Is that so? Well, Reiner, Bertholdt, I hope we can become close comrades. Warriors have to stick together. And the more friends we make, the easier it is to endure this training, right?" Marcel encouraged.

"Right!" both boys stated confidently.

"Right, Porco?" he repeated more intensively to his brother.

"Whatever, bitch." he scoffed dismissively as he buried himself in his covers.

Marcel snapped and chased his brother around, trying to force proper manners in him.

"Do you mind if I take the upper bed?" Reiner broke the silence as they were distracted by the amusing sight created by the two brothers.

"Not at all. I toss and turn around all the time while I sleep anyway, so I would probably fall down. Sleep well, after tomorrow, things won't be as fun as today." the dark haired boy said. It was the first time that day he didn't stutter. Something Reiner noticed.

"Wait, does that mean you liked meeting me?" he asked pleasantly surprised. It felt good to be appreciated. His mother was practically the only one who stated that they liked him.

Bertholdt smiled warmly. "Yeah, you're a neat guy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I released this chapter later than usual, because life's a bitch, just like Annie in here. But don't worry, she'll change her attitude eventually XD
> 
> Anyway, this took me a long time to write, I was actually planning on adding a Reiner/Bertholdt moment but I thought "Screw it, I'll do that in the next chapter".
> 
> In here we get to meet the Galliards, Porco is edgy and sarcastic and Marcel is more mature and basically acts like Reiner in Paradis Island, as it was stated in the manga that he adopted Marcel's persona. And Pieck too. Poor, poor, Pieck. I wonder how Annie and her are getting along from now on ;)
> 
> The real fun starts now ;) Also, I really wanted to include Zeke in here, but I'm still not sure how, as he receives the beast titan two years later the events in this chapter, not to mention he's 17 at that point.
> 
> Oh and, I decided I would show my rendition of the main characters' parents' backstories a little later on


	8. Welcome to Hell

The young participants of the program met a rude awakening on their first day of training in how to master a titan power, involving excruciating noise originated by the incessant collision between crowbars and the metallic elements the children's bunk beds contained. The instructors even resorted to pouring a strange liquid on the face of those with a more persistent slumber. Given the fact that water is a valuable supply in Marley, the composition of such a fluid was better left unknown.

In that summer morning, they were all brought to a mountainous area, which wasn't very far from the academy. The blazing sun wasn't accompanied by a single cloud.

"Listen up, shitheads! Since this is your first day of training, we'll go easy on you. All you have to do is follow a 20 mile trail we prepared, prolonged throughout the mountains. We'd give water, but you filthy Eldians don't deserve it, so I advise you to hurry up before you get dehydrated. Oh and, if you don't finish the task in 2 hours and 47 minutes, expect a punishment." one of the Marleyan instructors commanded gruffly.

As soon as he finished speaking, he aimed a riffle to the Heavens and shot, signalling the beginning of their objective. With no time to process what had just happened or ask questions, the children didn't waste any time and started running, for even their underdeveloped brains were painfully aware that it was nearly impossible to run a 20 miles long irregular trail in such a short amount of time.

Like most children; Reiner, Bertholdt and Annie jerked as fast as they could and sprinted to their fullest. This was a walk in the park for Annie, her body was more than accustomed to the most demanding of physical effort. Her suspicions were proven right, she would earn one of the titan powers easily. It was only at that moment that she fully appreciated the strict training her father put her through, though she was starting to believe said training was unnecessarily harsh.

Reiner on the other hand, was desponding, as he noticed he wasn't being able to catch up to his peers. His athletic prowess had always been below average, most of his physical preparation originated from the times he played with his mother.

"C'mon, Reiner. Don't give up. I'm here with you." Bertholdt encouraged with a comforting grin. He was holding his new friend's hand as he sprinted, in an attempt to share the blond boy's weight, increasing his speed in the process.

Bertholdt was genetically advantaged, when it came to physical conditioning tests. However, this was highly backed up by the training he undertook from his parents and Mr. Leonhart, mostly from the latter. Even so, he was quite pessimistic about his success in that task, as he is about everything for that matter, but he figured solidifying his still fresh friendship with Reiner was more important. After all, physical exercise was far from foreign for him, but somebody he could call a friend wasn't .

"Thanks a lot!" Reiner exhaled. The race had just started and he had already reached exhaustion to the point of being unable to form larger sentences.

A part of him wanted to plead Bertholdt to leave him behind and finish the race sooner for his own sake. Nevertheless, his louder, more selfish part welcomed that selfless assistance. He was determined on becoming a hero and thus, worthy of reuniting his family, that sacrificed so much for him; by any means necessary. Although he greatly valued his friends, if parasitizing them means the odds of his goals succeeding rise, then so be it.

Both boys felt a hand abruptly falling on one of their shoulders from behind.

"Hold on, guys. Let's use our brains, okay? If we start by running like madmen, we'll have no energy left by the time we reach the finish line." Marcel selflessly explained.

Reiner was too tired to comprehend or even understand the logic behind Marcel's advice, but since it involved slowing down, he immediately stopped running.

"B-But... We have so little time... If we don't give it our all, won't we fail?" Bertholdt asked. Most of his fatigue was mental.

"Holy shit! Are you fucking retarded? There's something called 'common sense', I don't know if you ever heard of it, but you should really try it out some time. I'm sure it'll come in handy." Porco, who was next to Marcel, sarcastically mocked.

"SHUT UP!" the older brother scolded. He was certain that this snarky behaviour was just a ruse to make him appear an interesting person, which saddened him. His brother was an excellent fellow, there was no need to fake an amusing personality, he had a serious misplaced insecurity, he never acted that way when they're alone. Marcel wondered if he was responsible for Porco's necessity of standing out.

"Trust me. If you had kept up the pace you had, you'd be superhuman if you didn't collapse after 12 miles, especially considering this heat. I say, for now we run slowly, and when we only have 40 minutes left or so, we start sprinting with all our might, that way we save more water and calories. Is that okay?" Marcel explained confidently. He was clearly either an expert when it came to endurance tests or simply a genius.

"Y-Yeah... I guess that sounds like a much better plan..." Bertholdt agreed relieved. He was succumbing to stress as he came to the despair inducing realization that he wouldn't be able to finish the race, much less if he didn't abandon his willing hostage. But fortunately, Marcel melted the pain and insecurities away with his far more pleasant plan.

Reiner was already too tired to respond, but if he could, he would cream 'YES! YES! THAT'S PERFECT!"

From there on, the four boys followed Marcel's plan started jogging at a bearable pace.

"C'mon, guys. Let's talk. We need to distract ourselves from the fatigue, or else we'll be more prone to give up. So, Porco, I noticed you grinned widely earlier today. What was that about? Was it a girl thing?" Marcel teased enthusiastically and lightly nudged his brother's arm twice.

"Oh that? I was just imagining my death." he answered in a deadpan way. Though he didn't convince anyone.

Marcel rolled his eyes.

"Okay... So, Bert, speaking of girls, I saw you talking with a particularly cute one yesterday. You're not as shy as you look if you advance so quickly." Marcel inquired excitedly and enthusiastically to break the ice. He even threw a playful nickname to increase the bonds of trust.

"It's nothing like that..." he chuckled nervously. The friendly nickname caught him off guard and he greatly appreciated how thoughtful and supportive Marcel was being. "That was Annie, we're just friends. She helped me learn how to fight properly."

"Really? Interesting! You'll have to show me that later! I'm curious if I can learn from you." Marcel remarked warmly, causing Bertholdt to smile at the affection he was receiving.

"Yeah me too. I only hope Annie is as fast as she's strong. You two should have seen it, she almost crushed my hand like it was nothing, when she shook it." Reiner finally picked up his breath, thanks to Marcel's efficient plan, and was now able to communicate again. "I noticed she bolted at the beginning, if Marcel's right, she might not make it..." he presupposed grimly.

Bertholdt looked down in pain, originated from the inability of helping his friend. "Umh... D-Do you think we can speed up a little so we can catch up to her and tell her what you told us?" he knew it was a stupid and illogical thing to ask, but it couldn't hurt to try.

"Wow! I'm not even gonna dignify shitty ass question with an answer, so here's a statement instead: SCREW THAT BITCH AND KEEP WALKING!" Porco barked annoyed.

"I'm sorry, but we can't ruin our chances. And she's most likely way far ahead anyway." Marcel comforted. Placing a friendly hand on his shoulder.

"That's okay... I'm sorry I asked." Bertholdt admitted ashamed.

"Don't worry about her. Even if she fails, which I doubt she will, I'm sure she'll be fine. Our instructors wouldn't do anything dangerous to us. After all, we're doing this to help them, right?" Reiner naively rejoiced. To tell the truth, he had no idea if Annie was capable of completing the challenge, but if assuring so would cheer Bertholdt up, then he saw no reason not to lie.

The blond boy's naive loyalty to Marley was almost pitiful. Porco winced at his remark, he didn't even bother repressing a scoff and a sneer. Bertholdt merely cringed and looked down, hoping no one would ask for his opinion on the matter. Marcel, on the other hand, remained unfazed, he chose to ignore his statement. However, none of the 3 dared disagreeing. Even the closest of comrades could not be trusted when it came criticism about Marley, because everyone was deeply indoctrinated to believe those who think badly of them should die horribly and that it is their moral duty to report such impure thoughts. Even if they agreed with him or if they prolonged the conversation in a way that would describe Marley in a neutral manner, the Marleyans always found a way to bend their words to make it seem like they were insulting Marley in a passive aggressive way, so it was best to stay quiet. That was their strategy to prevent an Eldian revolution.

"Yeah..." Marcel tried coming up with something that would change the subject. "Hey look! There's a girl there, looks like she needs help." he pointed his finger at a girl who was in a squatting position next to some bushes. For some reason, she wasn't running.

"Excuse me, are you okay?" he asked when he approached the dark haired girl.

She turned her head to conversation initiator with a confused look.

"Yes indeed. I merely halted my advances in view of the fact that I concluded that ingesting these berries and thus, the calories and water they contain proved to be the wisest course of action, as I would surely require them in order to be successful." she spoke matter-of-factly, surprisingly calm given their current situation.

"Okaaaaaay... Well you better hurry up then, we still have 11 miles in front of us and have less than an hour to finish." he declared perplexed by her tranquil composure.

"Holy moly! I ought to accelerate then. Do you mind if I accompany you?"

"Not at all. Come, tag along with us." he warmly replied.

The 5 children decided to speed up, as the finish line was nearing.

"Hello there! I'm Reiner, we should be friends!" the blond boy rejoiced whimsically, with a friendly smile on his face.

"Pleased to make your acquaintance. I'm Pieck." she introduced herself displaying a slight amount of joy, it seemed she didn't succumb to pressure easily. "Considering we were dragged here before taking breakfast, I assume none of you drank water or has eaten anything today? Your skin looks quite dry as well." she presupposed while running her index and middle finder through Reiner's forehead, noting his skin was unusually cool and dry in the process, which happen to be symptoms of dehydration.

"I don't dig this bitch. I think she's psychic." Porco whispered to Marcel's ear while covering it and his lips with his hand.

The older brother shrugged off the youngest remark angrily.

"I know what to do. That area up there has more vegetation than the rest of the trail. Surely, there are berries you can ingest." she stated as she pointed her index finger to a higher point of their trail, not very far from their current location.

"Keep in mind that you should never eat white, green or yellow berries, as they are most likely poisonous, as well as berries with a bitter smell, spines or milky sap." she warned as they hastily approached a bushy area filled with berries. "These small red ones seem safe." she took one of the many red berries from one of the bushes and smashed it in her forearm to test the juice. Since they didn't cause an irritation, she concluded those berries were edible.

They rapidly harvested all of the red berries and resumed their sprinting. The boys had no choice but to consume them while running.

"You're a life saver, Pieck! I don't know how much longer I could continue if it weren't for you." Reiner acknowledged enthusiastically.

"Y-Yeah... You were very kind..." Bertholdt thanked nervously.

"Don't you have something to say to Pieck, Porco?" Marcel asked intensively.

"Are you sure those were not poisonous? 'Cause if they're not, I'll go back and eat the white ones. I just want to fucking die." he said darkly.

"Porco!" Marcel scolded angrily.

"Just kidding! Really, thanks a lot. It's nice to see I'm not the only one with functioning brain cells in here." he pointed to his male companions with his head, mocking them indirectly, as he thanked Pieck.

"Don't mention it. Let's just focus on running." she found his aggressive behaviour weird, but decided not to dwell on it.

"Right. Time's almost up and we still have 6 miles ahead. It's time to give it our all." as soon as Marcel finished speaking he sprinted with all his might.

"Wait! How can you tell how much time and distance we have?" Reiner questioned curiously. He had spent a very short amount of time with Marcel, but he already saw several qualities he admired in him.

"Got everything in the head, except dandruff." he smugly responded. The distance between him and Reiner forced him to yell without looking back as he sprinted.

"Holy shit! Does that matter? Just move that flat ass." Porco scoffed as he caught up with his brother.

Reiner's caloric reserve was reaching its end. His muscles were screaming to stop and his sweat glands were forming rivers. The fact that Pieck was in the exact same situation as him comforted him a little. He noticed Bertholdt was in a remarkable shape and yet, he wasn't jogging as fast as he clearly could.

"C'mon, hold my hand again. Pieck, you too. I'll help you out." the taller boy offered both his hand to his new companions hastily.

"Nonsense! Forget us, warriors are lonely. Save yourself." Pieck scolded selflessly. She wasn't aware that she had just interrupted what Reiner was about to say before she talked. He was going to shamelessly accept his sacrificial support. But Pieck's brief speech dissuaded his selfish side.

It's only the first day, what's the worst that could happen if he failed?

Bertholdt muttered "Sorry" with a guilty expression and proceeded on his own.

Reiner and Pieck were ascending a hill side by side with the little energy they had left. Just when despair's tight grip was starting to become painfully unbearable on them, they sighted the finish line as the ground descended from their point of view. They managed to surpass various children, which filled them with relief and hope they would succeed.

But in the end, they didn't. When the instructors finished counting 2 hours and 47 minutes, they only had a few inches left to complete the challenge.

Annie, Marcel, Porco and Bertholdt were the only ones who completed the program's first mission, which was surprising, because it was designed to be failed by all. The temperature, the solar exposition, the lack of water and food, the elevation and the uneven terrain guaranteed a nonexistent success rate.

Some of the competitors fainted on their way of the trail, naturally they had to be rescued. When all of the children were reunited, lunch time was announced, they were finally given food and water.

Hunger and dehydration weren't foreign feelings to any of the participants, or to any Eldian for that matter. However, exhaustion wasn't something they were so familiar with.

As they devoured all the provisions they saw in front of them. Marcel took that brief opportunity to interact with the 4 people he knew. He was well aware that they were all meant to be mentally broken and then reshaped into whatever the Marleyans had in mind, most likely an absolutely loyal, self-loathing Eldian psychopath, so he figured building feelings of camaraderie would maintain their mental health intact.

"Great work, guys!" he barked excitedly. "You two shouldn't feel defeated, you almost made it! I'm sure with a little more practice you'll be experts in stuff like this in no time. Besides, I highly doubt any of us were supposed to succeed." he directed this part to Reiner and Pieck.

"He's right, a little more practice and you two MIGHT reach one tenth of my capacities, as long as you take a few steroid injections daily that is." Porco commented sarcastically.

"Yeah right! You were just a few steps ahead us. You barely failed." Reiner defended gleefully. He knew Porco's attitude was only for laughs, so he didn't take him seriously.

"Whatevs. Still better than you." he countered smugly. Even though he refused to admit it, he was actually enjoying socializing with them.

"Hehe... In any case, how do you know that was supposed to be failed, Marcel?" Bertholdt asked curiously. He had just met Marcel and he already proved himself as a very capable and wise individual.

"It's only logical, running without food and water, under a scorching sun is nearly impossible, even with a strategy. But I was certain when they said we'd be punished if we fail. That's clearly an excuse to push us even harder." he calmly replied.

"I agree. I was thinking the same thing, actually. I have no doubts their intention is push us to our mental extreme, because when that happens, they'll be there to drive us forward and show us how to improve. Consequently, we'll start seeing them as father figures and blindly believing everything we're told." Pieck mused while looking up and seizing her chin with her thumb and index finger.

Reiner and Bertholdt looked at each other confused. They were having a hard time grasping what they were trying to convey.

"Basically, they'll be mean to us and then pat us in the back. You'd be happier if you were complimented by someone who always criticises than by someone who always compliments, right?" Porco clarified to the puzzled boys.

"I guess?-"

"Pieck, come talk to me alone. Now." Annie appeared suddenly and ordered sternly to the girl.

She swallowed hard in panick and her eyes widened.

"V-Very well..." Pieck muttered.

"Hold on, Annie. Stay with us. It'll be best if we stick together. These guys are cool, there's no need to be shy around them." he whispered cheerfully. He thought he'd have a better chance of persuading her if the others didn't hear them.

"Listen, I understand you're concerned about me, but really there's no need. I'm better off by myself. That's sweet of you, but I'll have to say no. Do stay with them though. If they're as nice as you say, then I'm sure they'll be a lot better friends than I'll ever be." she stated emotionlessly. That was probably the most heartfelt thing she said or would ever say to anyone who isn't her father. After all, she was very aware that her heart was made of rock, it would be selfish of her if she didn't cut ties with him.

"Shall we?" Annie turned her head to Pieck.

They only moved a few steps to the left, where nobody would hear them if they whispered.

"I'll go straight to the point. I'm sorry for the way I treated you yesterday. I guess I succumbed to nervousness and acted without thinking, which is not something that usually happens to me." Annie apologised coldly. Part of the reason why she was so cruel was because for a long time, she longed for opportunity to inflict the pain she suffered. Pieck happened to be the unlucky soul. She wouldn't admit this to anyone though.

"So you shall treat me with the respect I deserve from now on?" Pieck inquired sceptically.

"Assuming you don't do anything that doesn't make you worthy of respect, then yes." she stated impatiently.

"Annie, was it? I must say I'm surprised by your level of maturity. Not everyone is capable of accepting their mistakes, especially people of our age. However, forgive me for saying this but I'm having a hard time believing your words." the dark haired girl answered.

"Didn't you say that we should act logically and maturely? Like you said and I quote 'wouldn't it be better if we all got along?'. Letting go of you grudge sounds like the most logical and cooperative action to do." she countered.

"Very well. I suppose for now I don't see any reason not to accept your apology." she mused as emotionlessly as the blond girl.

"Fine. As you wish." she muttered before turning back and leaving.

 

* * *

 

It turned out the 'punishment' the instructors mentioned was applied to everyone, just like Marcel theorized.

It consisted of crawling across a 30 meter surface filled with fist sized rocks and some sharp corals for good measure, with their bare skin and their hands tied behind their backs.

Pieck said the objective was heightening their mental strength, but weren't there better ways to do that? That was just plain sadism.

 

* * *

 

 

"So what do you think of the new Eldian brats? a Marleyan soldier asked.

"I'm pleasantly surprised. 4 of them managed to complete the first challenge, can you believe it? Only one person was able to do that in the past 100 years." Koslow Hopkins responded intrigued.

"Really? No wonder everyone seemed so optimistic. So who was that person who managed to finish the first trial?" the soldier inquired curiously.

"Do you know who Korra Zeegers was? She was an extremely skilled Eldian soldier, dubbed the infamous 'Hardcorra', for being the only survivor of an enemy attack on the trenches 80 years ago, she was trapped in there and cannibalized all of her mates to survive long enough until she was rescued. That bitch had a daughter who was fucking good in the Marleyan Government Program, the one who succeeded the first mission, when she was about to receive the Colossal titan power, she went on a murderous rampage for seemingly no reason and actually raped several of her comrades. She got pregnant through one of those rapes and gave birth to an apparently normal girl before dying, the girl became a nurse and to this day is suspicious of a shit ton of murders, but there aren't enough evidence to convict her. Guess who's her son, one of the kids that finished the race. Bertholdt Hoover." the superior Marleyan explained.

"What about the other 3? Did you find anything interesting about them too, when you checked their background?" the soldier questioned.

"Nothing too major. That Hoover kid amazes me though. If he inherited the skills and evilness of his grandmother, than without a doubt he's a good Colossal titan candidate." Koslow assured.

"But the Colossal titan takes a toll on the holder's nervous system. They require a lot more self control, due to the overwhelming size, which might make the holder more aggressive right? If he's so monstrous as you say, don't you think he'll do more harm than good as the 'God of Destruction'." he mused.

"No. His grandmother was a very calm girl. That's why her crimes were so surprising. That same calm demeanour was one of the reasons why we intended to give her the colossal to her. But we won't make the same mistake again, keep a close eye on Bertholdt Hoover. If he seems like a quiet kid, don't let him fool you. I want you to force his full potential out. Understood, Drake?" Koslow commanded sternly.

"With pleasure." the corners of his lips curved upwards into a delightful sneer. He was going to enjoy this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember that Reiner/Bertholdt moment I mentioned last chapter? Well, I'll have to postpone it again. It'll be on the next one I promise.
> 
> So, this first mission where they have to travel long distances under a blazing day of summer with no water is something that has happened in Portugal, while the thing where they have to crawl across a rocky surface bare chested and with their hands tied is typical of Taiwan. I will also include other extreme military trainings from other countries to highlight the mental tests the kids had to go through.
> 
> I decided to something with Bertholdt's genes like Isayama did with the Ackerman genes, where they are activated when something happens in their life, but you'll see more of that later.
> 
> Since the titan thing is linked to the nervous system, I decided to throw a bit of my own rendition in there as well. The Colossal titan is huge, bigger than any other, therefore it'll take a slight toll on the holder's nervous system, recquiring more self control, that's why they pick the calmest kids to get it. Speaking of which, Bert's female relatives from his mother's side are all a little bonkers XD Maybe he'll inherit part of their crazyness.
> 
> Anyway, criticism is always welcome. For instance I feel this chapter is a little rushed, what do you think?


	9. Pain is the best teacher of all

As Bertholdt laid in his bunk on that first night, thoughts were rushing through his head and his mind was scrambling, trying to remember everything the Drill Sergeants taught. His muscles and mind were beyond fatigued, but the worst of all was his skin. It was violated and slashed from the time he had to crawl across a field of fragmented breccia accompanied by sharp corals. He actually managed to be one of the few who succeeded in crossing the 30 meter surface, though he was the one who cried and shrieked the most.

On that first night, he felt helpless, alone and at the bottom of a very big hill to triumph. In hopes of reigniting the little hope he had before, he tried recalling what Annie had told him.

"…  _I want you to know that the first day, tomorrow in our case, will always be the worst… This will be a time where you need to be mentally tough. You have to remember to take your days one at a time because looking at the entire 5 years ahead will be very dificult_ …" her wise words echoed inside his head.

It wasn't enough to dissuade his tears. After he succumbed to despair and demoralization, the flood gates were open. The water that streamed down his cheeks was finally able to release the frustration and cleanse his spirit. He tried crying as silently as he could, as he didn't want to disturb the already tortured children that surrounded him. However, Reiner was close enough to hear his whimpers, given the fact that he was less than a meter above him.

"'Bertrol', are you crying?" the blonde boy inquired worried.

"D-Don't mind me… Really, just rest…" he assured. Reiner was already on his wits end from the training, so he figured it would be selfish of him to add his own issues on the smaller boy.

"No way, you aided me so much today, I'd be an awful person if I wasn't there for you like you were there for me. C'mon speak your mind, it's not like we have something better to do." Reiner soothed quietly, after descending the small stairs next to their bunker and sitting closely next to him.

"Well, I'm away from home. I miss my parents. I'm tired. I'm sored, I can't sleep. Annie pretends I don't exist. Everyone in here hates me. I cried like a baby in front of everybody, and I don't know what to do..." each sentence Bertholdt exhaled increasingly released more tears and frustration out until he finally burst into tears.

"Hey c'mon, it's not that bad. Everyone in here is in the same situation as you. I miss my family and my home too, that's why we all relate to each other, you're not alone, and we still get to visit them every two weeks. As for Annie, well I don't know her much but at least as far as I can tell she'd rather stay away from anybody, not just you. And to be fair, most of us cried today but even if you were the only one who cried, I'm sure the others would be more worried about their training than some random guy they just met." Reiner comforted with a meek grin, while caressing his friend's shoulder.

"Hehe... Thank you. I needed to hear that. It's just... Annie is such a lonely person... I know deep down, she wants to have friends, but she's just too stubborn and paranoid to trust. We used to practice together, you see? I learned martial arts with her and she learned sharpshooting with me. At first she was cold... You know, like she is now, but then she actually started talking to me a little. Granted, most of what we talked about was how I shouldn't trust anyone, but still that has to mean something, right? And fighting? Oh you should see the gleam in her eyes when a fight was about to start. It's like that was what kept her alive." Bertholdt explained calmer, reminiscing Annie longingly.

"Gosh... Sounds like you like her a lot. If what you're saying is true, then she's probably still in state of shock after all this. I'm sure she'll warm up to you again, don't worry." Reiner continued.

"Yeah... Oh and I still have to show you what I've learned from Annie to you and Marcel, like I said." Bertholdt was now completely relaxed. He had just learned that venting shrinks frustration.

"That'd be great! I can't wait to show my mom how much of a badass I'll become. I'm gonna be a weapon AND wield weapons." he barked excited.

"Oh? What about your father?" Bertholdt immediately regretted asking that question. The man was probably dead or abandoned them for a better life. He had forgotten that two parents were a luxury, he had made the same mistake when he inquired about Annie's mother.

" _I guess I only have 2 parents because mother would literally kill anyone who dared change that..."_ Bertholdt thought to himself. The depressing thought tampered with his newly hard-obtained tranquillity.

"Him too. He's, well... Uhm... Away! That's right! And he can only go back if I become a warrior! That´s why I'm here!" Reiner rejoiced. He felt temped to tell his new friend about his father's Marleyan heritage, he trusted him that much, but his mother specifically obligated him not to tell that to anyone.

"Is that so?" Bertholdt inquired sceptically. He saw right through the shorter boy's lie. Unlike Annie, he wasn't much of a lie detector, but even he was able to spot such a poorly hidden deceit. He figured he would upset his new friend if he pressed harder, so he decided not to advance.

"Yeah. Being an Eldian sucks. I want to be Marleyan! Imagine if we become titans, we'd become the superior race! Then I can reunite my family and we'll live happy as one." he naively babbled.

"Right... uhm... If you keep working hard like today, I'm sure that's exactly what'll happen! I mean it, you were really good today!" the taller boy complimented as way of changing the subject. He desperately wanted his new friend to be more aware of the oppression exerted upon Eldians, he would surely lead an unhappy life of self loathing otherwise. Being blinded by loyalty wouldn't benefit anyone. However, Bertholdt valued his own life far too much to open his friend's eyes.

"Are you kidding?! If it weren't for you, I'd be a 'garbitch', like Porco said. I'm not sure what that means, but I suppose it's bad." he wondered confused. "No one was so kind to me like you were. Really, it's not every day I find someone willing to slow down and help me. Plus, I only succeeded the second challenge, because I kept following you. I kept thinking ' _C'mon Reiner, if he can do it, then so can you. You owe him that much after what he did for you.'_  So thank you." he sincerely and softly thanked, causing Bertholdt's eyes to widen in bliss.

"Holy fuck! Are you two gonna suck each other's dicks or somethin'? We're trying to sleep here." Porco, who was in the adjacent bed bunker, whispered annoyed.

"Oh sorry! 'Bertrol' and I'll go back to bed." Reiner alleged before hastily getting up to climb the tiny stairs.

"Reiner, one more thing." the brunette pleaded meekly.

"Yes?"

"My name isn't 'Bertrol'. It's actually pronounced Ber-tolt." he admitted, chuckling nervously.

"Oh! I've been calling you Bertrol all this time, why didn't you correct me?" he asked friendlily.

"I-I was scared you might find me annoying... I never had friends before, so I didn't want to waste a single chance." he replied relieved by his positive reaction. He was expecting him to either laugh at him or cringe at his pathetic fear.

"Hehe Don't be silly. Well, good night... Bertholdt."

 

* * *

 

"Annie, are you sleeping?" Pieck quietly inquired at the girl who was lying on the bed above her.

"I was." she coldly answered.

"I beg your pardon, but I found myself perplexed by your performance today. You managed to complete that insane race without an intellectual strategy, but with sheer athletic prowess alone! That's quite impressive. However, my curiosity peeked when you crawled across that sharp-rocky surface with your bare skin, you were one of the few who didn't burst into tears, I only heard grunting from you. Such physical skills from someone your age and sex are truly remarkable." she complimented silently, hoping she wouldn't wake up anyone.

"Thanks. My father used to train me a lot. He also made sure I had a good pain endurance." she emotionlessly explained.

"Interesting. I met quite the merry band today, it consisted of 4 somewhat promising boys and we all offered emotional and tactical support to each other. I believe you should join us, with our skills combined, I'm certain we shall become the top dogs, they seemed fairly sociable so I believe they wouldn't mind if you join us. Think about it, they are willing to bestow either the Armoured, Female, Colossal, Jaw, Cart and Beast Titans to the best of us. A total of 6 titans, including me and you, this hypothetical group would have 6 elements. Therefore, if we join forces, we shall undoubtedly emerge victorious." Pieck mused excitedly, not because she was excited, but because she believed she would appear more persuasive.

"Hmph... I suppose that is not a terrible idea. Though the way you worded your suggestion made things sound simpler than they are. Still, I was never good at cooperating." Annie argued sceptically. She admitted the dark haired girl had a point, but she was still convinced she would do just fine on her own. There was always the possibility of them slowing her down, or worse, someone backstabbing her. But besides the low reward gamble, there was also the fact that she had to interact. With more than one human being. The very idea repulsed her.

"Come now, what's the worst that can happen? If you feel like you're loosing more than you bargained for, you can always back down." Pieck tried to convince her enthusiastically.

"I'll have think about it. But I'll tell you right now I won't hold anyone's hand! And I won't hesitate to resort to violence if I feel in danger!" Annie subtly threatened. But honestly, it was the idea of socializing and cooperating that was holding her back.

"Naturally. If you don't mind me asking, is the idea of human interaction off-putting to you, or is a betrayal what you fear?" Pieck theorized confidently. Annie was surprised by how well she was read, it was like the girl was a telepath.

_Clever clover..._

"None of the above. I'm merely confident in my individual capacities." the blonde girl countered, though she wasn't convincing.

"Regardless, is Bertholdt affecting your judgement? I saw you two talking earlier and you treated him quite coldly. Is he the reason why you're so reluctant?" Pieck inquired intrigued, she was trying her best to find arguments that could persuade Annie to do join her little 'alliance'.

"We met each other some time ago. I want distance from him, because he seems a little stubborn about helping me make friends. As I'm sure you have probably noticed, I'm not the most friendly person around, logically it would be selfish of me to stay close to him." Annie explained apathetically.

"How noble. You describe him as a good person, I'm sure he just wants the best for you. Friends AND success? What more could you ask for? I'm sure he would be delighted if you warmed up to him, he seemed very fond of you when we talked, despite your cold treatment." Pieck further persuaded. She lied when she mentioned that they talked about Annie, but she was founding herself desperate at convincing her.

_They talked about me? Seems like it was good things too... That definitely sounds fishy, especially considering we were way too busy with training. She's obviously lying. Fucking bitch! I should have smacked the shit out of her yesterday when I threatened her, that would teach her a lesson. Not so smart now, huh?_

"And I would be delighted if you shut up. I wanna sleep." Annie ended the conversation angrily.

"Does that mean you'll consider-"

"Hush."

 

* * *

 

A few hours before dawn, all the competitors of the titan powers were finally enjoying their long-waited sleep. Unfortunately for them, the drill sergeants decided to solidify their mental fortitude by violently waking them up, for one more brutal exercise.

That night was a typical warm summer night. However, the chilly mountainous wind harshly decreased the heat of their perception of temperature.

They were forced to stand upright in line. Every time someone yawned, they were all punched in the stomach. The 4 children that spent their time talking instead of sleeping highly regretted not doing so.

"Listen up! For people who are sane and not retarded, it's a very logical notion that warriors must know how to fight. Of course you degenerate Eldian fuckers aren't capable of grasping such a simple concept. Therefore, we'll be kind enough to show you first hand how to be killing machines." sergeant Drake yelled sternly.

The instructors demonstrated a few basic fighting techniques and then several more advanced ones. Apparently, combat knowledge was too be imposed in their heads extremely quickly, they wanted to turn these kids into professional brawlers overnight. They must be the best of the best after all, for the rage of war isn't suited for any less than that, not even a single second would be wasted in those 5 years.

The competitors were ordered to pair up and perform the techniques they had witnessed.

"Bert, you mentioned you learned how to fight, didn't you? With that girl Annie? Thank goodness, you might give us some pointers." Marcel spoke enthusiastically to the tall boy. He wasn't actually looking forward for help, he was quite confident in himself, he only said that as an encouragement, as Bertholdt was visibly uncomfortable about their ordeal.

"Oh... You remembered that?! I-I'm not that good, actually." he meekly muttered. Marcel succeeded in calming him down and boosting his confidence.

"I'm sure you're great! Based on you performance yesterday, you just have to be." Marcel confidently complimented, placing an encouraging hand on his interlocutor's shoulder.

Bertholdt couldn't stop himself from giggling embarrassed and blushing. He was being complimented! And it wasn't sarcasm! Probably... His self esteem was rarely cultivated by his parents. They were always either absent or cranky, so there was no one there to tell him that he was good enough. That he mattered.

"What a pussy! I was actually considering pairing up with you. Geez! Marcel, I guess I'll have to settle with you." Porco spat at Bertholdt's pathetic reaction. Unknowingly shattering the latter's confidence and morale to pieces.

"Hey don't you dare talk to him like that! You're not better than anyone!" Reiner angrily defended his friend.

"Yeah, what's your problem?! You haven't stopped treating everyone like shit yet. They're so nice to you! Why are you such an asshole?!" Marcel tenaciously questioned. He wasn't being snarky to seem 'cool' he was now merely hurting feelings for no reason.

"Holy shit! Take some chill pills! Want a 'wambulance'?" Porco countered frustrated. He acted without thinking, offending wasn't his intention, though he was too proud to admit he was wrong.

Sergeant Drake saw those 4 procrastinating and decided to forcefully slap them into action.

"Get back to work, motherfuckers! Unless you want to be punching bags for the rest of them!" he yelled while powerfully gripping Porco and Reiner's wrist.

Sighing in frustration, Marcel insisted on sparring with his brother, hoping he would force proper manners into him while they trained. Reiner paired up with Bertholdt.

"Ignore that jerk! Just like Marcel said, he's just trying to be cool." Reiner assured at the sight of a boy with a beaten dog's expression.

"Y-You're right! Let's just focus. So, did you understand what we have to do?" the taller boy inquired slightly upbeat.

"Uhm... Not really, I was expecting you to do that..." he chuckled nervously, causing Bertholdt to smile sympathetically.

Bertholdt performed the technique first so Reiner could understand. Then it was the latter's turn to demonstrate what he had learned. The move consisted in dodging an initial assault and forcefully pulling the opponent's wrist with one hand and the upper arm with the other, the destabilizing force allows the opponent to violently fall by sweeping the back of the leg from the same side of the arm the user pulled with the user's leg. When the opponent is on the ground, the user uses the other leg to press on their chest, using the knee and then repeatedly punching the opponent's face.

"Hey, you're not bad at all! I learned a lot easier with you!" Reiner complimented after successfully performing the move.

"It's nothing, really... It's just that Annie taught me something similar to this..." Bertholdt shrugged off flattered, humbly looking at the floor.

"I agree! You know Bert, Porco here is having some trouble grasping how to do this. Do you mind showing him exactly how it's done?" Marcel mischievously pleaded.

"The fuck?! No I'm not, I'm doing just fine! You saw it!" Porco protested, feeling unjustified.

"Hush! It's what you get for not being a decent human being." Marcel angrily countered.

"Uhm... There's no need to-"

"It's okay, Bert. I understand you don't want anyone to get hurt, but he deserves it. Shitty people deserve to be punished accordingly by those who they mistreated, only then will they learn their lesson and become good people. In way, you'll help him grow, and that's a good thing." Marcel persuaded.

" _Yup! Just like those evil island dwellers. It's their fault us, the good Eldians, are treated like scum, while they live happily. It's their fault I can't meet dad. They should all be punished for that, though a lot more horribly than Marcel is implying."_ Reiner thought to himself.

"Exactly! Show him who's boss." Reiner encouraged.

"Fine! Gimme your best shot. See if I can't fight back." Porco spat, accepting Bertholdt's challenge, even though he wasn't the one who raised said challenge.

"Make me proud, Bert." Marcel placed an encouraging hand on the seemingly intimidated dark haired boy, while Reiner nodded in agreement. "C'mon, Rein. Let's spar together while they're going at it, we don't want to piss off the instructors."

"I'm gonna make you uglier, BITCH!" Porco threatened as he squeezed his knuckles, forcing the articulations in his hands to produce menacing noises.

Bertholdt gulped. He was feeling very intimidated, although he was very capable of winning. He tried calming himself down by looking away from Porco's threatening eyes. That's when he noticed Annie behind him. She was sparring with Pieck, the poor girl was seemingly about to collapse, he pitied anyone who had the misfortune of fighting Annie. She was looking at him disappointed, like she had carefully raised a bird and taught it how to fly, only to witness that same bird incapable of taking flight.

Those disappointed eyes reminded him of one time he fought with her.

_She was staring daggers at him, she had her usual fighting posture and was growling._

" _Scared? You should be!" she hissed menacingly._

_He was shivering in fear. That girl was a brutal and merciless. Winning is the only way he wouldn't get SERIOUSLY hurt. But that meant he had to hurt her and he couldn't do that, that may ruin the chances of a potential friendship. Who was he kidding? Winning against her is impossible, he wasn't even sure why he was learning under Mr. Leonhart, all he did was get beat up and he seemed to be having dificulties_   _in learning._

" _Don't let her intimidate you! That's her strategy. Remember, intimidation is not a strength, but letting yourself be intimidated is a great weakness. You're just as capable as her. Attack!" Mr. Leonhart_   _shouted from afar._

" _Come, attack. You could struggle, but that means I'll feel obligated to hit you harder." she teased mischievously, a dark grin on her face._

_He was simply frozen in fear. His mind was too clouded by feelings of dread and indecisiveness to think logically._

" _What are you waiting for? Attack her already! An hesitant warrior is a dead warrior!" his teacher yelled at his lack of initiative._

" _No? You'll be an easy prey if you act like a submissive doormat. This world will eat you alive if you keep acting like that!" she aggressively encouraged before dashing at him. She genuinely wanted him to be successful, so she saw no other way to educate him other than forcing him to fight back._

_As she lunged at him, she executed a powerful punching move. His reflexes shot and dodged the assault as he grabbed her punching hand. He used his planted leg as a stabilizing platform, from there he exploded his striking leg out like the pistols he mastered into one of the most vulnerable regions of the human body: the rib cage. She was pushed violently to the ground and seemed very hurt._

" _I'm sorry! I didn't mean to-"_

_Before he could finish speaking, she quickly leaped and punched his stomach forcefully. Causing him to fall on his knees. Then she gripped his neck and powerfully hit his teeth with her knee repeatedly._

" _Enough! Never pity your enemy. If you're fighting them, then that means they did something bad that made them deserving of your violence. Give them what they deserve!" Mr. Leonhart_   _preached darkly._

_He was crying... Again. Partly because he was incredibly hurt... Again. But mostly because he was filled with remorse for severely hurting his potential first friend. He was very well aware that she'd never allow someone to surprise her in a fight like that, she was way to experienced for that. He could only conclude that... She let him score that hit. She taunted him, just so she could stir him into action. Perhaps she wasn't as cold as he thought... Perhaps there was still hope for a friendly relationship... Or perhaps she just wanted a challenge..._

_He was curious what would be the look on her face when her father ordered them to stop. She usually looked at him with disappointment and repulse in her eyes. Repulse for a pathetic human being who is too naive and too much of a pussy to unleash his full potential in a world where those who don't are 'eaten alive', as she often says. Before their eyes met, he believed that time it was rage that he would gaze at. Rage for loosing and for being violated. He was wrong. When their eyes mated, he saw... Pride. She was even smiling sympathetically, she was happy for him, proud of him for finally standing up for himself._

" _About time..." she mused softly before offering her hand to help him get up. She almost never smiled. The few times she did, was due to sadistic pleasure for his pathetic fits of crying. But that one genuine smile filled his heart with hope. It made him feel butterflies in the stomach she punched so violently. She was beautiful when she smiled, he wanted to make her smile more often._

_Maybe he wanted this because she reminded him of his parents. Always stoic, but when they smiled, the world seemed considerably brighter. Except his parents deeply loved him despite everything._

He only stopped staring at Annie's disappointed expression when he noticed Porco lunging at him. His eyes quickly adjusted to the situation and grabbed the hand Porco was using to attack, and supported his entire weight on his left leg, then he bolted his right leg, focusing all his might on the opponent's rib cage. The impact so violent that everyone heard it and stopped what they were doing to inspect what they had heard, the poor kid was even sent flying across a considerable distance.

"I'm so sorry! Are you okay?" Bertholdt screamed remorsefully and dashed at him, expecting to help him.

"Fuck! Shit! Fuck you, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!" Porco repeated like mantra as a way to minimize the pain.

"Porco!" Marcel shouted as he came to his brother's rescue. "What the hell, Bert?! That was way too fucking much!" he scolded furiously. He wanted to teach his brother to be more civil and Bertholdt to be tenacious, but physically disabling his family crossed too many lines.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hurt him that much." the taller boy whined. He was about to cry for the billionth time.

"Nice one! I wanted to do that to him too!" Reiner softly whispered at his ear as he didn't want anyone to hear his insensitive remark.

"Good gracious! That was a most dangerous move. A broken rib can injure blood vessels and internal organs. Even worse, the sharp end of a fragmented middle rib can puncture a lung and cause it to collapse." Pieck warned, slightly more shook than her usual calm demeanor implies.

Annie didn't say anything. The disappointed expression she had turned into the expression of a mother who was proud of her son, it was the exact same look she gave him when he managed to score a hit on her.

"Scram, shitheads! Get back to work!" sergeant Drake ordered loudly at the children who circled Porco. He pressed his ribs in order to infer the gravity of his injury and determined it was nothing worrysome "He's fine, he just needs to man the fuck up. You 3! Come with me, now!" he commanded sternly at Annie, Marcel and Bertholdt.

He took the 3 children to a more isolated area, not far from where they were. Fear and anticipation rose in 2 of the 3 children, as they walked.

"Gotta say, I like what I saw from you 3. Not too shabby for Eldian scum. Tell you what, I believe you should be rewarded for your not-shitty performance. So thought I could give a little incentive." he spoke unusually calmly and upbeat.

Another instructor came and delivered him a tray of food. It was gigantic and included mushroom soup, bitter greens with tomatoes the size of peas, rare roast beef slices as thin as paper, noodles in a green sauce, cheese that looked as though it would melt in their tongue served with sweet blue grapes. The scent it produced was absolutely captivating.

"It's simple. I'll have you 3 fight one another. The one who comes out on top, claims this prize. The losers, however, won't eat anything today. Oh and, I want to see fun battles, or else this bad boy will be mine." he announced mischievously.

None of them wanted to fight 'fun battles'. Judging by his past actions, it was very clear he meant traumatizing, brutal, bloody, bone crushing combats. Anyone with a shred of empathy and wisdom would refuse such a preposterous proposal. However, that wasn't a proposal, it was a very clear order. One that if they refused, they would all get beaten up and forced to endure starvation. The trio hadn't eaten anything all day, so the scent of their 'prize' was very tempting.

"But-" Bertholdt tried speaking up, only to be powerfully slapped in the cheek by the cruel instructor. He was sent flying to the floor, just like he did with Porco.

"Shut the fuck up, bitch!" he yelled as he suspended his victim in the air by pulling his hair upwards. "You 2, start. You can only stop once the opponent faints. And I want to see blood and hear screams!" he wrathfully demanded, emphasizing to the boy he was holding and Marcel.

 

* * *

 

"Gosh! They sure are taking some time! I wonder what they're doing in there." Reiner muttered worryingly.

"I hope they're killing each other..." Porco scoffed annoyed.

"Unfortunately, I believe that's the case. It's only logical after all. Just like pitting dogs to fight one another unleashes their full potential, they're trying to force their combat prowess out. But in order to make dogs fight one another, you must first starve them and abuse them, only then will their primitive aggressive instincts peak and thus, a monstrous warrior will be born. Considering we are being subjected to starvation and sleep deprivation, I wouldn't be surprised if they are being blackmailed to fight for food... Surely, that will be a traumatizing event in their lives..." Pieck theorized horrified. She genuinely felt bad for her companions, this was one of the few instances where she wished she was wrong.

"Gosh! That's awful! But I'm not so sure that's the case. I mean these people are good! They're Marleyan, I doubt they would do something so inhumane to innocent children. You're just thinking too much." he babbled optimistically, causing Pieck to gulp and widen her eyes at his words. Her response was merely keeping quite and looking down.

"What the fuck ever! Let's just fight already, I really don't want to get yelled at again." Porco intervened upon witnessing Pieck's expectable reaction. Just like everybody else, she wanted to knock some sense into him and open his eyes to reality, but that controversial topic is far too dangerous. "I already beat Pieck's ass, so Reiner, you're up."

Reiner was disappointed in himself. He used to be very confidant in his athletic prowess, due to the fact that his mother constantly showered him with praise for his success in his former rugby team. However, he realized he was out of the league of most children in there very early. Some of them excelled at everything, like Marcel; others seemed talented in some area or another; a small minority had to work particularly hard to catch up to their peers and then there was him... He was having a hard time picking up on things and mastering what he was supposed to dominate already. He often looked around and observed everyone was getting the hang of something, while he had to rely on his friends for support.

He had to try harder. No matter what, he would fulfil his dream. He would unite his family. Hell would freeze before that happens. He would succeed by any means necessary, even if that meant he had to kill someone.

This would be easy. Porco was harshly weakened by Bertholdt. He had to win, at least this battle.

Reiner and Porco assumed their fighting stances. Pieck was training with some other girl for the time being, while occasionally catching glimpses of their battle.

_I'll focus on his ribs, he'll have no choice but to give up. I just have to do what Bertholdt_   _taught me. It's simple. I haven't won a single battle today, this one I have to win._

Porco lunged at him, swinging his right fist forward. It was exactly how he initiated his fight with Bertholdt, if he imitated the counterattack he taught him, victory would be ensured. Just like his tall friend did, he attempted to grab and pull his opponent's fist. However, Porco was already expecting this, so he quickly retracted his right hand as a way to avoid Reiner's grip. Caught by surprise, the blonde boy suffered a swift punch aimed at his nose with Porco's left hand.

He couldn't flinch, otherwise he would surely lose. Even though the pain was unbearable, he didn't stop moving and immediately struck Porco's underdeveloped Adam's apple with the side of his right hand. Apparently, that wasn't enough to stun his opponent, for he quickly countered with his knee directed at his stomach. Finally he flinched, fortunately though, his instincts raised his fist at Porco's chin before the latter had the chance to strike further, causing him to fall back. Reiner took some time to recover from the blow he suffered to his stomach, while his opponent picked himself up.

"Damn you! Fucking bitch!" Porco yelled before raising his right fist and lunging at him once more.

"Ahrahhh!" he roared before imitating his adversary's actions.

The one who was to land the first hit would undoubtedly win. Reiner knew Porco would be that one, as he demonstrated superior velocity in the day before, during their race. He had to go beyond his limits. He had to release 150% of his capacities, only if he exceeded his own physical barriers would he finally improve. Only then would he catch up to his overachiever friends.

His resolve fuelled his muscles. It boosted his speed so much, that the earth shattered when he bolted.

Nevertheless, it wasn't enough to outmatch his opponent. They both landed their blows on each other's noses at the exact same time. The momentum and speed were so high that they knocked each other out.

"Fuck! That's gonna leave a mark..." Porco mumbled after recovering from Reiner's powerful hit.

When Porco got up, he noticed Reiner was still lying on the floor.

"Take that, bitch! I fucking won! I didn't faint, therefore the victory is mine." the winner rejoiced evilly.

Normally, any child of Reiner's age would be unable to get up, or even fight again. But he got up, and he wanted to continue fighting, he wanted to improve.

"Again! I want a rematch!" he yelled at Porco.

"Hell no! I wanna kick small fry ass, I'm beat." he spat, while gasping for air. He had reached his limit, but he couldn't stop training, or else the instructors would beat him further.

At least Porco implied he wasn't 'small fry'. That must mean something, right? Especially coming from the snarky and condescending Porco. It seemed the others were starting to notice improvements.

"What about me? Care for a battle?" Pieck softly requested. Her friendly grin contrasted with the bloody, hollow expression the girl she had just outmuscled had.

"Hell yeah! Let's start right here. Right now." Reiner screamed energetically, even though he was bleeding from his nose and had bruises all over his face. Resolve flowing through him.

"Very well. Though I do feel the need to point out that your shirt has blood stains. You should do something about it." she meekly muttered as she pointed at his shirt.

When he looked down to inspect the alleged blood stains, Pieck quickly performed an uppercut at his lowered chin, causing him to bite his own tongue. Then she attempted to punch him with her other fist, however he immediately dodged and kicked her stomach, causing her to flinch and lower her upper body, he ceased this opportunity to strike her face with his knee. The impact elevated her head, that he then punched. Though she was still standing, he knew that one more hit would be enough to knock her out. He lunged at her to finish her off, but she caught him by surprise when she did the same. She took advantage of his speed to strengthen the impact of her headbutt on his nose. He fell and she jumped on him, punching him repeatedly while she was on top if him. He couldn't get her off of him, she was too attached, he had no choice but to bludgeon her out of him with his fists.

Both children were severely striking each other's faces, they only intended to stop once the other fainted, just like the instructors wanted.

_C'mon Reiner! Make mommy proud! She's a girl, you are advantaged. Remember yesterday's race? You finished it side by side with her. It was a draw! That means you're at least just as good as her! You can do this!_

Despite his violent attempts to break free, Pieck proved herself too persistent. She just didn't allow him to release himself or faze her with his hits. She had enough. In order to halt his strikes, she forcefully pressed her elbows against his upper arms, preventing them to move. Then she leaned her arms in and used her left hand to squeeze his nose, while her right hand was responsible for pressing against his mouth. He unable to breath. His newly-found resolve was replaced by dread and despair.

Just when she was about to release him and claim her victory; a tall, broad, well-toned man in his late teens with shaggy, pale blond hair with a matching mustache that descends down into his beard appeared, being his circular glasses his most distinctive feature. He had a Marleyan uniform, so Pieck assumed he was one of the instructors.

"Wait! Don't stop. I want to see how he'll handle the situation." he gently ordered.

"But sir, he might die!" she countered scared, while still controlling his breathing.

"Hold on. I'll reward you both." he assured calmly.

Reiner was panicking. He clawed Pieck's arms, which were binding his, with all his might, but to no avail, the slashes he inflicted shed massive amounts of blood on her, but she still persisted. The dread he felt awakened strengths he wasn't aware that dwelled inside him. His energy doubled and he used the sweat in his arms to slip them away from her opponent's elbows. Then he cast her hands away with his primitive strength and broke free.

"That's enough. You shall be rewarded by me tomorrow." was all that the mysterious man said before turning back and leaving.

 

* * *

 

"Zeke, may I know why you stood there watching the kids like a creep?" sergeant Drake inquired annoyed.

"Some of them caught my interest. Regardless, how did your particular training go?" he softly responded.

"Brilliantly. I turned those fuckers into mad dogs. I want you to focus your assistance on those 3. Understood?" the instructor demanded gruffly.

"As you wish." Zeke mused calmly.

"Magath insists that they're promising. And I agree to a certain extent. Annie Leonhart and Marcel Galliard are phenomenal, I have no doubt those two will inherit a titan. But that Bertholdt Hoover isn't that impressive if you ask me, sure he's better than most, but I don't get what's so amazing about him. The higher ups insist he's a great Colossal candidate, due to his self restraint, but that remains to be seen. In any case, don't worry too much about him, I'll handle him myself." the sergeant smiled mischievously.

"Very well. Speaking of Annie Leonhart, I was impressed by her performance. I was also perplexed by the fact that the girl she was sparring with analysed and imitated her techniques remarkably well. She was dark haired and had a crooked nose, what is her name?" Zeke asked intrigued.

"I think you're referring to Pieck-what's her face. She's actually not bad either."

"Well, this... Pieck, was fighting with a blonde boy and I liked what I saw from him. I liked it a lot." he declared emotionlessly.

"Oh? That's probably Reiner Braun. He's pretty shit. Relies too much on his comrades." Drake replied surprised by someone being impressed by that worthless excuse of a human.

"I saw a resolve in his eyes that inspired me. They reminded me of my father. He greatly valued the power of resolve and self commitment. I believe he is more promising than you're making him out to be." Zeke stated complentative.

"Focus on that one too if you want then. Just remember, I want you to give special treatment to Marcel Galliard, Annie Leonhart, Bertholdt Hoover, Porco Galliard and Pieck-what's her face." he ordered sternly.

"Very well. I will start tomorrow. I assure you, you won't be disappointed."

"I better not. Don't forget that you crawled your way up where you are today, because of me. I can easily undo that." he menaced as he pressed Zeke's chest repeatedly with his index finger.

"I-I... I understand..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took me so much time to write! I'm curious how do you feel about the fight scenes, as they are going to appear very often. Do you think they're well written?
> 
> Oh and in chapter 96 that came out today, Annie reveals that Reiner never beat her in a long distance running before, which means the race that I described in the last chapter was accurate ^_^
> 
> Speaking of last chapter, Drake put in charge of breaking Bertholdt, as you can see in what he made the poor kid do along with Marcel and Annie. Though the fight between the 3 will appear in the next chapter.
> 
> Also, chapters have gotten bigger lately. Is that a problem to you?
> 
> BTW Some of the fighting techniques were based of Sambo, a Russian martial arts practiced by the Russian military, considered one of the most deadly martial arts in the world. We'll see more of deadly moves in the next chapter ;)


	10. Hit Harder

Annie, Bertholdt and Marcel were dragged far away from the rest of the crowd, far enough for their cries of pain and help dissipate in the air inaudible. The only instructor who accompanied them, was sergeant Drake, the most cruel of them all. Despite the particularly harsh treatment he submitted to these 3 children, he had high hopes for them and thus, he decided to force their full potential out.

They were in a forest area, and were forced to play a sadistic game. The rules were simple, the 3 would fight one another. The losers lose their privilege of eating for a day, while the winner was rewarded with a large supply of tasty and caloric food. However, if the fights weren't 'enjoyable' in the eyes of the drill instructor, which by normal people's standards translates to brutal and bloody, then the winner wouldn't win anything.

The first battle was between the boys. Drake let go of Bertholdt' hair, letting him crash on the ground in the process. He was not optimistic about his outcome, he had seen the Galliards fight and concluded that the older brother was better than him, which was weird because he mentioned never having practiced before. But supposing Marcel didn't have his uncanny natural talent and would otherwise be inferior, Bertholdt was simply too nervous and scared to fight properly.

"Sorry about this." Marcel muttered behind his breath with a guilty expression while they prepared their fight stance.

Bertholdt was frozen in fear and anticipation, there were tears threatening to stream down his cheeks. However, he believed Drake wouldn't find that 'enjoyable', which could potentially aggravate the penalty, so he managed to hold them back.

Marcel was approaching him slowly, probably because he feared a counterattack similar to what his brother suffered. The frightened boy refused and didn't know how to hurt his opponent, he could only retreat slowly.

"C'mon Bert, you have to react or else he'll get angry." Marcel whispered pleadingly, despair was evident in his voice.

"Do I need to start the fight myself?" sergeant Drake hollered menacingly.

Marcel looked down and closed his eyes with a defeated expression, clearly extremely hesitant and reluctant about his current obligation. He tried to expel his indecisiveness out through a deep sigh and think rationally about the reason why he was there. It worked. He opened his eyes and directed his now threatening gaze at his adversary. It succeeded in intimidating.

" _Damnit, don't just stand there! Do something! What did my father tell you about intimidation? Just when I thought he was improving..."_ Annie thought to herself frustrated. Normally, seeing 2 people combating thrilled her to no end, but that display of violence was something she definitely wasn't looking forward.

Marcel wanted that to be quick. Nonetheless, he had to make sure his assault would be brutal, which should be easy considering his feeble opponent.

He dashed at Bertholdt and tackled him, grabbing his hands in the process to avoid any chance of escape or counter. Both fell on the floor. Marcel pinned his adversary's hands to the ground with his own, while pressing his right knee on the poor boy's chest and the other in his throat. Bertholdt thrashed, screamed and kicked in desperate attempts of escape but no avail, Marcel simply wouldn't budge.

"Do something! Claw my legs, just do something!" the dominant boy whispered desperately. He tried do something brutal, but his feelings got in the way. Only if the submissive boy reacted by slashing his legs, for example, would that poor excuse of a fight shed the blood Drake craved for.

Without the ability to think for himself, Bertholdt followed his attacker's advice and started scratching his legs to create the violence they were ordered to commit. Even though he was being somewhat successful in not allowing his tears to be bold enough to descend down his eyes, he was doing a terrible job at holding back his whimpers. The terror he was feeling prevented him from tearing his adversary's skin hard enough to cause a bleeding. He only hurt Porco earlier out of instinct, the notion of causing the slightest amount of harm to another living being otherwise is despicable for him.

Annie was looking at him disappointed as usual. No wonder she thought he was pathetic. However, even though she refused to admit it, that was the first time she felt genuine pity for him. Before that, such a pathetic display of weakness triggered exclusively repulse in her.

"I'm not liking what I'm seeing." sergeant Drake calmly stated, grinning viciously.

"For goodness sake!" Marcel exhales in frustration as if he was about to do something he would regret later. "I'm so sorry, Bert." he imparted guiltily.

Marcel picked up his victim by his hair and neck and forcefully pushed his frontal body against a nearby tree. Then he slammed the poor boy's head against the painfully irregular wooden surface repeatedly.

"You can do better than that! I wanna hear the collisions harmonizing with his screams!" the drill instructor demanded roughly.

Up until that point, Marcel was bashing Bertholdt's head as softly as he could, but the extreme hunger he was feeling persuaded him to beat him harder, he would starve unless he made the sergeant happy. The loud noises originated form the impact accomplished that. He only stopped once Bertholdt ceased his shrieking and fainted.

"All right, that's enough." Drake intervened satisfied. "Now it's you against the winner." he directed these words at Annie cruelly.

Despite her cold attitude, Annie knew she would hate herself if she bested Marcel as violently as Drake desired. She refused to admit it, but witnessing Bertholdt suffer such a gruesome beat down made her feel... Angry. Very angry. Of course disappointment and disgust were what filled the majority of her heart at that moment, for teaching him how to fight well enough to make that a fair match, only to watch him cower and do nothing. Still, she felt a foreign desire to avenge her former sparing partner.

Maybe that was the point. Maybe the instructor intended to awaken the wrath within their hearts.

"Commence!" he yelled while approaching Bertholdt. He placed the poor boy's body in his lap and examined his injuries and tried to reanimate him.

Marcel and Annie prepared their fighting stances. Both were staring daggers at each other as they waited for the other to make the first move. Just when Drake was about to order the start of the battle, an impatient Annie decided to draw first blood.

She ran at his direction and when Marcel was about to counter, she dodged and powerfully kicked his shin. The unbearable pain forced him to fall down to his knees and caress his violated bone, leaving his head vulnerable. From there she kicked his left temple, which could potentially cause serious damage for life, causing him to fall face first to the ground. Then she jumped on him and started punching his nose, hoping to shed enough blood to satisfy Drake's quota. To her surprise, her victim wasn't in such a bad state as she predicted. Marcel grabbed her right fist before it touched his nose once more and forcefully gripped her neck to stun her. She made the foolish mistake of not restraining his legs, so he was able to get her off of him with one kick to the back of her head.

It was at that moment that she realized she had underestimated her fellow participants. She thought she would surpass all of her peers without much effort. She was convinced she would earn one of the Titans with flying colours. Only now did she perceive that there were problematic obstacles in her way. Marcel being the most worrisome. The guy had talent, she had to admit.

He wrapped his right arm around her neck before her head had the chance to collide with the floor. His right hand gripped his left bicep, while his left hand pressed against the back of her head to prevent her from headbutting her way out the strong chokehold he had created.

Drake grinned mischievously. He was amused by the show they were putting on. It was far more enjoyable than the previous one.

For the first time in years, Annie was on the verge of defeat.

" _If you can still breath, you can still fight."_ her father's displeased words echoed inside her head.

She didn't let him overpower for more than 3 seconds, by reaching her hands at her opponent's face and inspecting the location of his eyes. He was also a fool for not restraining her arms with his legs. When she found what she was looking for, she lightly gouged out his eyes, only hard enough to leave him no choice but to free her.

The stinging pain in the sensitive organs forced him to scream and let go of his hostage. While he had to back away to recover from the deep pain in his eyes, Annie took that time to cough and catch her breath.

When she thought herself fit to continue, she repeated her initial assault at his nose until the quantity of blood it spilled was visibly noticeable from the distance the sergeant was.

"Stop!" he ordered pleased. "Looks like Annie Leonheart is the winner. And since I liked what I saw, here's the prize I promised." he softly announced as he handed her over the large tray of food. "I'd make you fight this shithead, but I don't think he'll wake up anytime soon." he stated while turning over Bertholdt's body with his foot. "So there you go. Well, goodbye."

" _Did Marcel purposefully knock out Bertholdt_   _so he didn't have to fight me? That would spare us a lot of energy and him a lot of pain."_ Annie wondered.

Then the instructor started sprinting at a different direction from whence they came. The 2 conscious children were too tired, hungry and sored to chase after him. They were left alone in the woods.

"Crap! Why is he running that way? We didn't come from there!" Marcel panicked.

"Does that matter? Bertholdt might be in serious danger because of you!" she spat angrily as she held the brutalized boy in her arms.

"Look, I know this is hard, but we got to pull ourselves together. This is exactly what that guy wanted. To pit us against each other like mad dogs, he intended to not make us think straight and give in to anger. Don't do what they want us to do." Marcel soothed, while pacing comforting hands in her shoulders.

"Yeah..." she muttered as she looked down. He was right, if he hadn't said anything, she would have let herself be consumed by her inner monster. It made sense if they wanted the tops of the class to be more savage.

"I-I didn't want him to suffer more than he already had so... I'm sorry..." he apologized to the fallen boy as he searched for him with his hands. His eyes were too hurt to be able to stay open.

"I'm sorry about that too... " Annie calmly confessed, referring to Marcel's eyes.

"It's okay. You had no choice. I'm sorry about what I did to your neck too..." he exchanged the heartfelt apology. "I got it! He went on a different direction just so he could confuse us! He wanted us to doubt ourselves and our sense of direction. I'm sure we're meant to follow our instincts and go the way we came from." he beamed as he concluded their superiors' scheme.

"That or he just took a shortcut. Or maybe he went to a different facility... Either way, Bertholdt is in no condition of walking and I'm not leaving without him." Annie assured tenaciously.

"Neither will I! I can't even see properly. Look, he said he'd wake up, so we don't need to worry too much, but... Do you mind sharing your... prize with us. We'll starve to death if you don't." Marcel pleaded lightheaded, fatigue and starvation were about to put him in a similar situation to the boy he fought.

"Sure." she generously stated. "We should also start a fire or something, that way someone might see the smoke and come to our rescue."

"Good idea. Let's do that. This'll be all over soon." he responded serenely as he caressed Annie's back as a way to convince her that everything would be fine, that there was nothing for her to fear.

_Maybe Bertholdt_   _was right about starting a friendship. Maybe that deal with Pieck_   _isn't such a bad idea. At least this guy looks nice enough. So far he has only proven himself a pretty clever and supportive guy. I like him. Still, as father told me, I must proceed friendships with caution. I can very well end up betrayed._

_Bertholdt... I'm here with you. There's no need to be scared like you always are. Just wake up._

 

* * *

 

After the brutal martial arts demonstration in Reiner, Porco and Pieck's side, vast fighting knowledge was crammed inside the head of all the children. They only had to keep practicing, in order to keep the combat information in their long term memory.

Foolishly believing the worst part of their day was over, they were unpleasantly surprised when the competitors were ordered to stand in line and follow the instructions of a certain mysterious blonde man in his late teens. Though he was wearing a military uniform, it wasn't the usual outfit used by the Marleyan instructors. If the children didn't know any better, they would guess he was Eldian.

"My name is Zeke Yeager. And I have been in this academy when I was your age as well. Now, I will cut to the chase. Your next task is to perform all of the 13 punching techniques you learned today on one of the trees in this area. You will only succeed if the instructor that is watching you believes the skill and strength you applied in your techniques were acceptable. I am warning you that it is most likely that your hands will bleed and ooze puss by the time you finish successfully." the man with glasses instructed emotionlessly.

The competitors knew that if they made a sound, they would be instantly punished physically, so they manage to repress gasping. Still their eyes widened in surprise. Why was an Eldian teenager giving them orders? What authority did he have on them? But the worst of all was that they were feeling more despondent than they ever imagined they could, due to the fact that that man didn't even bother sugar coating the pain they were about to feel.

"I know what you are feeling. I know it all too well. After all, I was once in the exact same situation as you. I guarantee you that one day, you shall be thankful for the training you are receiving. This one, for example, bestows a physical and psychological edge in combat upon you. You may not comprehend the benefits of your training for now, but as you grow older, you shall realize how greatly they benefitted you. Trust me, I of all people can assure you this. Even if you don't receive one of the Titans power, you shall still have incredible war prowess that can save your lives as well as your comrades' during a war for the good name of Marley. And that is all that matters" Zeke preached soothingly, far more sympathetically than before.

The children empathized with Zeke. He managed to convinced them to see the bigger picture and perhaps this was due to sheer childish naivety, but they actually believed every word he said.

" _Smart move. Have an Eldian_   _give an encouraging speech so that everyone indentifies with him and believe every word, though I have to admit he brings up good points... He even threw Marleyan_   _propaganda for good measure. I wonder if he really is an Eldian, better yet, I wonder if he has actually been to this academy. If that's the case, he must have been subjected to serious indoctrination if he truly believes those last couple of sentences. Will that happen to us as well?"_ Pieck wondered inside her mind pessimistic.

" _Yeah fucking right! How the fuck is punching trees gonna_   _help us at all? I don't buy the shit that guy's selling. Still, I didn't come here to be an underachiever. This class is filled with pussies, I doubt any of them will have the balls to do what they're asking us to do, UNLIKE ME! God, I'm so good! *_ _ **Mental self-five**_ _* Well shit, if someone could read my mind they'd think I'm cocky. But I ain't_   _cocky, I'm just far better than everyone else in every aspect. Haha_   _that was funny Porco, you're so funny and cool and hot and strong. I bet that loser Marcel wishes he was like you! Well thanks, Porco, I agree."_ Porco thought to himself carefree.

" _Gosh! That guy made feel a lot better. I really feel like I can trust him. I was really not looking forward for this whole punching trees thing. But he's totally right! They wouldn't put us through this hard times if they didn't think it would help us. The Marleyans_   _always know better. Plus, supposing I don't receive a titan, which definitely won't happen, I still get to help out in the war a lot. I might even be like dad! Mommy is always saying I'll be like him when I grow up. I can't wait to do the things mom said he did, like playing Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun and surviving! And even if I find an obstacle, I got ton of friends that'll help me. Bertholdt_   _is such a weak target. I just need to snap my fingers and he'll do whatever I want. I almost feel sorry for him..."_ Reiner pondered internally. He was still too immature to be fully aware how bad it is to exploit someone, especially someone whose strongest wish is to have a friend, and he was also far too immature to acknowledge when he was being intellectually manipulated.

"I'm sure you are all nervous about your task at hand, so allow me to distract you, as a way to calm your spirits. I was the best in my class, this was because I worked very hard and followed my instructors' advice and orders accordingly. Consequently, my superiors thought my skills were fit for the Beast Titan. Of course, at the moment, I am still a regular Eldian. The person who I shall inherit the Beast titan power from is sergeant Drake, perhaps you already know him? Regardless, I am to incorporate his power 3 years from now, just like you. We were actually together in the middle of a minor conflict with our country southeast neighbours, but we managed to dispose of the threat faster than expected and that is why we came here to guide you with our first hand experience. Sergeant Drake is my mentor and friend, I have learned a lot from him, that is why I am prepared to carry his burden, just like whoever earns one of the Titans will have the former holders as your mentors." Zeke continued his comforting speech. The children were very curious about him and his story, hearing him made them forget about the hardships they would face, in fact, it made them consider said hardships not so bad. He made them feel like they weren't so... alone. He was clearly gifted with his words, but mostly with the tone of his voice. It was truly calming and assuring.

After an uplifting speech, 'War chief' Zeke, as he dubbed himself, put a start the task everyone was reluctant to accomplish.

"Pieck, remember that guy? He said he'd... reward us. I wonder what was all that about." Reiner whispered to Pieck intrigued as they approached a tree.

"Correct. We can't rule out the possibility that he was lying to make us continue though. But that remains to be seen." she stated calmly, despite her current objective.

"You're awfully calm! I'm really not looking forward to this." he noticed surprised.

"That's 'cause you're a pussy..." Porco insulted smugly, though his remark was ignored.

"I'm optimistic because that guy was completely right when he said our training, as brutal as it can get, will prove itself highly beneficial. In the case of our current mission of performing the punching techniques on trees, such aggressions to the bones in our hands may very well shatter our finger and knuckle bones, that is where the good part comes in. An inflammation arises in the damaged bone tissue, which will force our organism to regenerate it faster by covering the cracks with a soft callus, that will harden considerably eventually. This remodelling procedure will inevitably replace our current weak bones into far more durable and solid ones." Pieck explained silently, trying her best not to draw unwanted attention.

"I see... It's like putting armoured gloves in our hands. We'll punch harder and it'll hurt less on us, right?" Reiner asked while caressing his future abused knuckles.

"Precisely." she quickly answered. He was not as dumb as she previously thought. She had witnessed his naivety first hand before, so she was pleasantly surprised when she learned he had some logical thinking abilities.

"Holy shit! Did you eat a fucking encyclopaedia when you were little?" Porco inquired baffled by her coherent scientifical facts.

"My father was a surgeon, that's all. Since I only lived with him and couldn't be by myself, I was always with him in the clinic so I picked up plenty of stuff like this." she explained flattered.

"Interesting, you'll have to tell us more about that later." Reiner said intrigued.

As there were less instructors than competitors, the children had to wait until an instructor was free to evaluate their skills.

"You there, it's your turn now." one of the drill instructors hollered at Reiner after a child finished crying and screaming.

He closed in on the tree with its respective instructor.

"It doesn't matter the order of the techniques you use, as long as you perform 13 of the ones you learned. I don't want to see interruptions. Start." the unnamed sergeant informed and ordered emotionlessly.

Reiner tried to remember some of the moves Bertholdt helped him so well with. He started with one that consisted in swinging his clenched fist downwards to the target's nose.

This strike can be safer for a student's hand because they are hitting the wooden irregular surface vertically, which means instead of bone damage, it'll simply rip the skin. He applied all the strength in him, as well as the knowledge his friends bestowed upon him. However, the instructor didn't seem pleased.

"Harder! I have to hit harder…" he repeated like mantra in his head.

´That was when he noticed Zeke observing him. Why was he watching him? There are tons of other kids there. The way he stared at him… it was as if he was expecting to see an error. It reminded him of…

" _See that man over there? That is your father." Karina whispered enthusiastically to Reiner as they sneakily peered though the window of the restaurant he worked at._

" _That's him…!" he was speechless. The man he wanted to meet the most was before his very eyes, the almighty man his mother often described was just a few meters away from him. He wanted to meet him. Despite his mother's attempts of convincing him not to approach him, he couldn't resist the temptation._

" _Wait! You can't go meet him! I have already told you, Marleyans_   _can't have relationships with Eldians. You'll put us all in danger." Karina warned angrily._

" _But you said he can make a fire by rubbing two ice cubes and that he could kill entire armies by himself right before pulling out a gun! If we go to him, no one can't stop us! And we'll live happily ever after together , far away from here, just like you always wanted." Reiner argued upset._

" _You don't understand, it's not that simple. They may not deter your father, but they can certainly dispose of us. That is why you need to become a titan, so we can gain honorary Marleyan_   _status, only then will we be able to live together. Please, try to understand." she explained, trying her best not to lose her patience. She desperately wanted to slap some sense into her son, but she figured she would be more successful in persuading him calmly._

" _Okay… H-He's… tall but… not as muscular as you said…" he noticed, sad about not being able to meet his idol. Even though he found his mother's words illogical, he completely trusted her, so he assumed she was right._

" _That's just a disguise. If you saw super muscular man wouldn't you be more likely to believe he was a threat? When he goes to war in another country, he must seem as harmless as possible if wants to blend in. But I guarantee you when you grow up, you'll be just as tall and strong." she muttered whimsically._

" _Well… thanks for letting me see him. I know it's dangerous, but I really wanted to at least know how he looks like." he meekly muttered, looking down in sorrow for not being able to do more than staring._

" _Just promise me you'll never try to talk to him. You might put our family in danger if you do. And I promise you that if that happens, his heart will be smashed into pieces. You have no idea how sad he was when you and I had to leave him." she convinced heartbroken. Though she wasn't heartbroken because of the sad departure, but because it unfortunately didn't happen how she described it._

" _I… I promise." he guaranteed as low-spirited as his Karina._

" _Let's go home, honey. There's nothing left to see." She muttered sorrowfully. She manipulatively did what she planned, tease her son with an emotional motivation so he can try harder in the academy._

_Karina started walking her way home. Reiner was about to follow her. However, he froze and his heartbeat shot when his father's gaze mated with his. It seemed as though time had stopped. He desperately wanted to shatter the window that separated them, run to his arms and dry the tears he was holding in his shirt. The man was staring at him with a puzzled expression. Was he recognizing him? Was he starting to notice the similarities between them. He stared like he was expecting him to do something, to make an error._

" _Reiner! Come, let's go back." Karina finally noticed his absence. Or maybe she intended to leave him interacting indirectly with his father so that his wish to reunite with him grew larger. What a cunning manipulator!_

_When they got back home, Karina started chopping some pieces of wood to warm that wintery night. Her frail, old, ladylike arms weren't fit for the challenge. She was having a hard time cutting those logs in half._

" _Reiner, dear, would you mind helping me? I can't do this on my own." Karina softly pleaded._

" _But I tried before and I failed. I'm still too young and too weak to chop wood." he replied ashamed of himself for not being able to help the woman who did so much for him._

" _That's the thing, with determination, you can do anything, Reiner. Anything. When you're in the academy, never forget that you only fail when you stop trying. Now come here. Apply all the strength you have and keep thinking about the image of your father. Let him drive your arms." she masterfully persuaded._

" _Uhm_ …  _Okay…" he replied unconfidently._

_He gripped the tiny axe his mother was holding and swung it with all his might on the upper part of an intact log. He was ashamed in himself after observing that a small dent was all the damage he inflicted._

" _That's not enough, honey. Try harder." she softly ordered._

_He struck the log again and again but the damage was still too little._

" _You'll never become a titan if you keep hitting so weakly. Warriors must be strong! Don't you want to meet your father?" she furthered persuaded him unsatisfied._

_Those words unleashed the tears he was holding. Fortunately, however, the despair his mother was imposing on him seemed to boost his force._

" _I-I can't!" he screamed hopelessly._

" _Of course you can. Just imagine that log is the window that barred you from your father. You must break it." she yelled manipulatively._

_Through his whimpers and cries, he managed to muster up strengths he didn't know he had and strike that piece of wood like it was the very symbol of his father's absence, the symbol of everything that made him unhappy. The symbol that made his life imperfect. Still, it was a long way until he separated the two halves he had started to create._

" _Harder, Reiner! You have to hit harder!" she hollered._

"Harder! I have to hit harder…" he repeated like mantra in his head.

"Stop! You did well." the instructor congratulated satisfied. "Next!" he yelled.

Reiner couldn't believe himself. He got so caught up in his walk down memory lane that he didn't even notice that the 13 punching techniques were naturally performed on the tree. In fact… the tree displayed… a visible fist-sized crater. Finally, he hit hard enough. If only his mother was there to see the strength she wanted him to have. If only she was there to see he had created one more crack on the window that set them apart.

On the not so bright side, once his focus broke, the agonizing pain he hadn't notice before in his hands could no longer be ignored. It hurt like hell, as Porco described the time he had called his brother a loser for fun.

"Holy fucking shit! I take it back, you're definitely not a pussy." Porco commented surprised by Reiner's flawless performance. "I'm still better than you, but you ain't no pussy." he added smugly.

"I agree! No offense, but I didn't expect such a violent assault from you! You should have seen your face, you looked like a madman who was avenging the deaths of everything he held dear. There was no expression on your face, except in the eyes. All they conveyed was… despair." Pieck stated almost scared of the blonde boy.

"Really? I didn't even notice… I just… started thinking about why I was here and next thing I knew it, I had already finished. I didn't even notice the techniques flowing through my arms. Heck, I didn't even notice the pain in my hands until now." he explained proud in himself as he observed the river of blood streaming down his knuckles.

After he saw the massive quantities of blood he had lost, his natural childish instinct of crying kicked in. However, after the praise he had received, he had to hold back his tears if he wanted to keep his newly-found manly pride intact. After all, like his mother often repeated warriors don't cry. He had to fight the tears. He had to 'hit' the tears harder. Only then would he create another crack on the window. Besides, that man, that Zeke was still staring at him. He seemed… intrigued.

"Is that so? Interesting…" Pieck mused outwardly.

"In any case, I'm glad I wasn't the only one who didn't cry all the way through. But be honest, you did drugs didn't you?" Porco asked teasingly.

"What? Of course not!" Reiner countered. To be honest, he didn't even know what 'drug' meant, but judging by the rude boy's tone, he assumed it was something bad, so he denied because he didn't want to look dumb.

"Illegal substances aside, I believe you had a psychological edge. You have no idea the power the mind holds over the body. To illustrate what happened to you, some years ago a team of psychologists conducted an experience on a large sample of people. They were simply asked to stand on a pink tile on the ground and jump as farther as they could. The psychologists marked the spot they landed on with a traffic cone, then the people went back to the pink tile and tried to jump farther. After a while, the people reached their jumping limit, usually after the 7th try. They tried and tried, but the distance they jumped was always the same. That's when the psychologists distracted the people with something, while they weren't looking someone moved the traffic cones a little farther, and then the people tried again. Surprisingly, they all jumped as far or even farther than the tampered location of their marker. This is was all due to the power of the mind." Pieck lectured excitedly. It seemed as though displaying her intelligence thrilled her.

"Wow… That was like, the most useless shit I have ever heard." Porco mocked as he laughed at her.

"What? What she said made a lot of sense! I bet you're jealous of her!" Reiner defended Pieck, who didn't seem bothered or offended at all.

"Am not!"

"Are too."

"Am not!"

"Are too."

"Excuse me." Zeke suddenly appeared, causing Reiner and Porco to stop shamefully at once. "I haven't had the opportunity to give you that reward I mentioned to you two when you fought. So here you go." he handed over a map to Reiner.

"Oh umh… T-Thank you very much, sir." the blonde boy thanked with all the composure he managed to muster up.

The trio inspected the map and they could see the facilities they were in, the woods that surrounded it and a distinguishable red cross marked somewhere far north from where they were.

"I must say, I was impressed by your performance just now. I admire your resolve, my father valued it greatly when I was a child." he confessed longingly. When he mentioned his father, he looked down and closed his eyes. "Congratulations."

Reiner could only bow gratefully, he was afraid to infuriate Zeke if he talked.

"Umh… Sir, could you be so kind as to explain this… reward you have given us?" Pieck was the only one brave enough to ask the question on everyone's minds.

"What do you think about it?" Zeke challenged her, curious about her deductive skills. He longed to find someone as astute as his younger self.

"Well… Considering the mysterious and long absence of 3 of our friends, I'd say this is related to them? Perhaps the red cross marks their location?" Pieck theorized.

"Hmph. Yes, that's about right." Zeke yielded. He was just as surprised as Reiner and Porco.

"And I assume your mentor is subjecting them to a fierce training? As a way to perfect the best ones?" she continued digging deeper.

"Correct. You should help your friends at once. Drake went through something as bad or even worse than what he is doing to them. I bet he was dying to inflict the pain he suffered. Something similar happened to me as well. It is customary for the most promising students to receive special training." Zeke informed.

"But, are they okay?" Porco asked worried about his brother's safety.

"I wouldn't count on it. Surely, they will come back eventually, but the process will be sped up if you intervene. I assure you they will be very grateful." the man warned. "Go, I shall make sure you won't get in trouble because of this."

Worried about their friends; Porco, Reiner and Pieck took their departure.

"Okay, so the red cross indicates they should be north. We only have to find out where north is and this shouldn't be too hard. I know for a fact that the sun rises in the west and sets in the east. If I recall correctly, the sun rose from there." Porco pointed his index finger to his left side. "Therefore, north is that way." he pointed to the direction in front of him.

"No. Actually the sun rises from the east and sets in the west. This is because the planet spins toward the east." Pieck corrected smugly.

"Whatevs. It's that way then." Porco admitted his defeat and pointed to the direction in his back.

"Uhm… Are you sure it's not that way?" Reiner asked confused and pointed at some random direction, far from the one they wanted. He could have swore by the information they gave, it was the way he pointed at.

"Actually, Porco was right." Pieck informed, baffled by Reiner's stupidity as Porco rolled his eyes.

Speaking of Porco, since their search started, he hadn't cuss, not even once. Surely, that must mean he was serious. Perhaps he cared more about Marcel than he cared to admit.

As they ventured through the thick woods, they sighted white smoke ascending from east and gray smoke ascending from the west.

"Look! Smoke! I bet they did it!" Reiner screamed after witnessing the potential clues of his friends' whereabouts.

"I am certain they did it to signal their whereabouts. The 3 of them are quite athletic and not exactly unintelligent, I highly doubt they would lose their way. They must be desperate if they resorted to making a fire." Pieck pondered.

"I smell trouble…" Porco muttered worried.

"Don't falter. Together we'll be fine. Now, where should we start with?" Reiner lifted their spirits optimistically.

"White smoke rises from extinguished fire. Gray smoke rises from lit fire. In light of these facts, they are most likely over there." Pieck pointed to the direction of the gray smoke.

"Right. West side it is then." Porco decided determined.

"C'mon, they must be dying to see us." Reiner babbled energetically.

" _Hang on Marcel. You saved me my life before, now it's time for me to return the favor."_ Porco thought to himself.

" _Annie, I sense an agonized soul in you. But I'm certain you are not broken beyond repair. I hope this will convince you to accept our deal. I made this deal mostly because I was worried about your mental health."_ Pieck mused inside her head.

" _I'm so sorry, Bertholdt. I… used you. I did it because I thought I didn't stand a chance without your help but… you should have seen what I did to a tree today. You don't have to slow down to catch up to me anymore. You don't have to support my weight anymore. This time, I will be the one who helps. This is my reciprocation. Hang on buddy. I just hope you're okay. Who am I kidding, a guy talented like you would never get in trouble."_ Reiner apologized mentally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took such a long time! I only hope you didn't forget too much about the last chapter XD
> 
> I want to take this opportunity to thank all my reviewers for driving me further, including the ones who I can't reply to, thank you all.
> 
> So, chapter 96 came out and guess what? That guy who apparently took in the Titan trio in his hut and that told the same story Bert told Eren and Armin was found dead. By hanging. It is strongly implied that he was murdered by the trio and they made it look like a suicide. Just like Bert's mother did to Mrs. Azelas some chapters ago. Guess Bert learned a few stuff from mommy, huh? XD I felt so good when I saw that, it fits so well with what I wrote. ^_^ I wonder why the Smiling titan ignored Bert though…
> 
> Speaking of chapter 96, remember that scene where Reiner was chopping wood? Well, the flashback in this chapter is actually inspired by that. For Reiner, chopping wood holds emotional value as it reminds him of his parents.
> 
> Reiner may look a little more assholey in here, but don't forget that they're all still kids. Furthermore, Reiner's personality in the walls is actually Marcel's later on. It seems he is using Bert, which is kinda true, but he learned this from his mother. She was very manipulative as you can see in this chapter.
> 
> In case you thought the whole punching trees thing seemed unrealistic, that is actually one of the trainings the North Korean military have to undergo, I'm trying to include harsh trainings from all over the world in this story.
> 
> The psychological tests Pieck mentioned didn't happen in reality (as far as I know), but I witnessed first hand what she described and its true.
> 
> Okay, this AN is getting colossal XD I just want to say that the chapters may have gotten a little stale, but I'll reveal some backstories in the next.
> 
> Zeke mentioned Sergeant Drake, aka, the Beast Titan will give is power to him at the same time as the kids. However, we know for a fact that he got them sooner. Can you guess what'll happen? ;)
> 
> P.S. Reiner foreshadowed his Titan, cause why not?


	11. Stroking

After the brutal beat down he had received by the hands of Marcel, Bertholdt finally regained his consciousness. Given the fact that the adults, who were supposedly tasked with enhancing his warlike expertise, believed that the Titan candidates must acquaint themselves with sleep deprivation in order to endure inevitable future sleepless nights, he took that chance to doze off, pretending he was still passed out.

He could hear Annie's and Marcel's voices close to him. The awaken boy was inducing small talk on the girl, once again he intended to distract themselves from despair's seducing natural call and strengthening their grip on hope and sanity. She coldly dismissed his pitiful attempts of social interaction sadly, which was all too unsurprising for the sleeping boy. When would she learn that establishing bonds would only benefit her? If she didn't crave for assistance then the emotional and moral support should be more than enough for at least trying to act like the gregarious animal that she is! Would it hurt to act nice for the sake of others?

"So, Annie… Bert told me he learned how to fight with you." Marcel friendlily broke the ice.

"Yes. We did train together." she coldly brushed off his conversation starter.

"Okaaaay… Do you… Do you mind telling me how that was? Was it fun hanging out with him?" he pressed further. He kept an enthusiastic tone, hoping she would eventually give in and open up to him.

"Meh. I'm still alive. I guess that's what matters." she bitterly joked, expecting he would take the hint and give up.

"C'mon don't be like that. Look, I get it if you're not very interested in making friends, but don't you agree time will pass more enjoyably if we talk? And who knows? You might even like having someone to lean on. I guarantee you no one is gonna bite you." he argued gently.

"Fine. I don't understand the appeal of a boring chit chat, but if you're so interested in hearing a tedious story, then try not to fall asleep." she sighed annoyed. "I was impeccably learning under my father when he showed up. Since my father had to divide his attention between us, my progression was halted so he could learn basic survival notions any human being should have at birth. He was kind of a late bloomer, even though he took too much time grasping how to execute certain moves, he ended up performing decently. The problem is that he's a pathetic crying coward who refuses to use what he learned when the right time comes. Happy?" she quickly explained frustrated.

"Very! See? Did it hurt?" Marcel playfully teased and nudged her. "He seems to like you a lot. So I suppose you weren't as cold to him as you are being to me?"

"Not really. I wouldn't say cold, I'm just not so energetic and upbeat as everyone else. I treated him the same as I treat others. I would be an unfair hypocrite otherwise. I guess he simply liked me." she remarked emotionlessly as she avoided eye contact with the boy who was talking to her. Marcel had been successful in both his plans. Convince her get out of her shell and distract her from their anguishing situation.

He wanted to open his eyes, get up and calmly tell her to stop acting like a thick headed ice queen. He wanted to yell at her to stop acting like a… well, that word Porco called him before they fought. Nevertheless, he decided against it, as she would most likely murder him.

In fact, he didn't want to wake up at all. He knew his head was on someone's lap and there was someone gently stroking his forehead and the bangs that covered it. It felt… good. It felt like a loving owner who was petting their puppy to sleep. It reminded him of his mother's touch. She used to caress his hair until he softly left his slumber, or at least she did until money started tightening, then she had to work on a constant basis…

There's no way in Hell the thought of performing such a warming and passionate act would cross Annie's mind. She would probably also pummel anyone who dared doing such a thing to her. Therefore, Marcel just had to be the one who was responsible for brushing his forehead. Which was also rather strange, although he made it abundantly clear that he would do anything to keep everyone's spirits high, Marcel doesn't seem the kind of guy who would do such a thing. Especially not to someone he had practically just met.

Curiosity got the best of him. He decided to finally open his eyes to uncover the identity of the person who was soothing him in such motherly manner.

As the slits his eyelashes formed became increasingly rounder and as his pupils adjusted to the light, a blurry figure of a human grew more visible. Before he had the chance of analyzing said person's facial features, a yellow mass stood out.

It was… Annie! Annie was the one who was stroking him! And to add up to his already unmatchable astonishment, she was… smiling at him! She grinned as though she had just came back home after years away.

"Hey buddy!" Marcel greeted affably. "It's nice to have you back!"

"How are you feeling?" she softly inquired as she ceased her stroking.

"I'm not feeling so good… My head hurts." he whined as he removed himself from Annie's lap and adopted a sitting position.

"I'm sorry about that… But don't worry, your wounds don't seem too worrisome… I'm really sorry, Bert." he apologized looking down in shame.

"It's okay, I understand why you did what you did."Bertholdt gently empathized grinning sympathetically. What happened while I was sleeping?" Bertholdt shyly questioned.

"After you lost your senses, sergeant Drake left us here. We tried going back, but we were too hungry, thirsty, tired and sored to carry you. Since abandoning you was out of the question, we decided to stay put for a while until we rallied our strengths. Speaking of which, here – have some food, you must be starving." Annie announced as she offered a piece of the her 'prize' to him.

Bertholdt was so hungry that he wouldn't mind cannibalizing those two if he was left with no other option. If only he was that aggressive when he fought Marcel… Considering the speed and wildness he was devouring the food, 'inhaling' would be a better word to describe than 'devouring'.

"Just so you know, she insisted on giving you the biggest part." Marcel teased as Annie instantly clenched her fists and stared daggers at the bold boy. He made it sound like she was particularly generous towards him due to some sort of romantic feelings she harbored.

"Really?! There was no need! You haven't eaten anything either… Oh, now I feel bad…" he whined as he looked down in shame.

"Nonsense. You were in the worst condition, so you obviously required more nutrients. That's all there is to it." she explained herself hastily while she fought a blushing. She hid her embarrassment well.

"T-Thanks… Really, thanks a lot, Annie!" Bertholdt muttered meekly. His hopes of bonding with her were never higher.

"Anyway, now that we're all fine and dandy -" Marcel joked sarcastically, they weren't 'fine' at all. "- We should start thinking about turning back. I don't remember the way very well, but this can't be too hard, right?" he rejoiced optimistically.

Bertholdt chose to believe that lie just as much as Marcel, so he nodded in agreement. A scoffing Annie, on the other hand, valued a logical perspective far too much to discard her regular realistic view.

"I uh… I wasn't paying much attention to our road here… I'm sorry…" Bertholdt chuckled nervously despite not being in the mood for laughing. He had the habit of thinking to himself when he didn't have a goal at hand, consequently he became oblivious of the outside world frequently.

"Let's just start walking already." Annie declared fed up with the futile conversation.

The 3 started walking towards the direction they believed from whence they came. Annie's caloric and nutritive trophy was not sufficient to fully replenish their vigor and stamina by a long shot. Therefore, the fatigue and starvation they carried took a massive toll on their speed and mood. Seconds felt like minutes, minutes felt like hours and the road seemed to enlarge the longer they stared ahead.

They didn't take much more than 20 minutes to get there, when they had to keep up with sergeant Drake's fast pace who happened to know the exact route. Even Marcel's spirit was wavering as they only saw trees, bushes, rocks, leaves, plants and more trees. Their head felt heavy and they were dizzy beyond logical thinking.

"Oh! I forgot to tell you, Annie and I started some fires while you were sleeping. We were hoping someone would see the smoke and come to our rescue, but… Well, clearly that was a waste of time." Marcel explained to Bertholdt, mostly to scare the despair away with a conversation.

"Oh… T-That was… a good idea." Bertholdt reassured with a forced smile.

Annie scoffed internally. She was well aware that the 3 of them knew that was all a waste of time and energy. She refused to lie to herself, no matter how pleasant said lie was. The naked truth is always better than the best dressed lie. After all, it's only logical that they were meant to come back on their own – Still, she refused to misspend valuable calories in arguing with them.

Their limit was nearing. They were on the verge of passing out.

"Hey, I know things don't look so well right now. But if there was something that I learned throughout my short life, is that when you're feeling down, tell this to yourself –  _Having a rough day? Place your hand over your heart. Feel that? That's called a purpose. You're alive for a reason. Don't give up._  – I always feel instantly better." Marcel soothed confidently as he witnessed hope abandoning his comrades' eyes and his own as well. He felt responsible for driving them further. He wouldn't feel good about himself otherwise.

"T-That's… v-very encouraging… How did you learn that?" Bertholdt inquired, baffled by the immense mental fortitude his male companion possessed. He strongly envied his contagious resilience. He wished he had a tenth of his willpower.

"Hmph… That's a nice motto…" Annie confessed.

" _He must have been through hard times if he figured that out so soon by himself. Father often told me that hardship builds character. This guy has a lot of character."_ Annie mused.

"Hehe - When you see the best and the worst of what life can offer you, you'll learn to appreciate what's good and you'll learn that there's no point in crying over spilled milk." Marcel preached enthusiastically as he ruffled Bertholdt's hair. "I can already imagine how Porco will feel when he sees me. He'll say something along the lines of – 'Holy fucking shit! What took you so long? Were you jerking off in secret again? Damn, someone's gonna sleep lying on their back tonight' " he imagined hyperbolically.

Neither Annie nor Bertholdt had a clue what 'jerking off' meant, but they couldn't bring themselves to care either.

"Marcel! Marcel!" the 3 children immediately turned their heads to their left side after they heard a familiar voice coming from the distance.

As the distant human silhouette approached them, Porco's features gradually started standing out. Reiner and Pieck ran behind him. For some strange reason, there were red bumps surrounded by white skin in Porco's face and arms. The other 2 didn't appear to be in such a foul state, however.

"Where were you? I was worried sick about you!" Porco roared as he jumped at his brother's arms. He was unsuccessfully fighting his tears with all his might.

"Calm down, man. We're okay." Marcel muttered sympathetically as he welcomed his brother's warm gestured whole heartedly.

"As long as we return soon that is." Annie finished his sentence, displaying tiredness on her voice.

"What happened to you guys? You're all bruised! Bertholdt, your forehead has an enormous wound!" Reiner screamed worried as he approached his taller friend and place comforting hands on his shoulders and examined his injury more closely.

"T-They made us… fight one another and…" Bertholdt tried to explain what had happened but the traumatizing images silenced him.

"It was test. A painful one. It is over now, that's all that matters." Annie completed the sentence Bertholdt couldn't finish.

"W-What about you? You guys have stinging wounds all over you!" Bertholdt inquired as worried as Reiner.

"You see, someone gave us a rather vague insight about what happened to you. I assumed starvation would be a part of your test so we brought you some berries we found on the way." Pieck stated as she raised her hand that was holding a branch filled with red berries.

Annie, Bertholdt and Marcel threw themselves at the berries and proceeded to ravish the small, pulpy fruits, painfully conscious of its poor energetic value.

"But when I said berries were far from enough, we happened to cross paths with a beehive. That's when Porco insisted on extracting honey from said organic structure, despite my persistent warnings. Thank goodness it was young beehive." Pieck further reported as her voice broke after staring at a sting wound on her hand. "Here – have some honey, it has plenty of calories." she said as she gave them multiple broken honeycombs, that were dripping with honey.

"You did what! Are you crazy? You could have died! You didn't even know whether you were allergic!" Marcel scolded his brother, deeply disappointed by the fact that the latter foolishly and unnecessarily risked his life. The one time he didn't act like a selfish narcissist was the time Marcel's greatest treasure nearly got himself killed.

"I don't give a fuck! I'm alive because of you." Porco yelled and then hugged his brother more tightly. "You're everything for me. I don't know what I'd do if you were gone…" he whimpered as he pressed his face against Marcel's chest.

When Porco said 'I'm alive because of you', everyone couldn't help but wonder what were the circumstances of what he described so vaguely. Did Marcel literally saved his life from a predator or person with murderous intent? Did he provide him what he needed to survive? Or did metaphorically saved him by supporting him with emotional aid? Whatever the case, they would have to ask them about it later.

"Are you sure you guys are all right? It's fine if you need come time to recover, I know you must have been through some hard times." Reiner drawled sympathetically.

"D-Don't worry, Reiner..." Bertholdt uttered gently. Those simple words brought a soft grin to his, but truthfully, on the inside he was overflowing with joy upon hearing that tiny yet powerful couple of sentences. It meant that he cared. There was somebody that genuinely cared about him. He had no doubts at that point: he had made at least one friend!

"Yeah, let's just go back." Marcel whispered morbidly. "You 3 have wounds to treat." he emphasized towards his brother with an angry disappointed look.

"As a matter of fact, that will not be our most worrisome issue. Honey helps with wound healing, pain, and itching. Since we gathered a large amount of honey, we were able to apply enough on the affected areas." Pieck relieved Marcel's concern.

And with that, they departed. Ingesting the sugar-filled sweet, viscous fluid greatly solved their starvation problems. However, dehydration was a tougher beast to tame. And the honey they ate only further dried their desertic tongues. They had to go back very soon.

"Hey Pieck, you… you mentioned that someone told us what happened to us. What's all that about?" a light headed Marcel tried his best to stay on his feet as he wrapped his right arm around his brother's shoulders.

"Some Zeke guy told us one of the drill instructors brought you here and we should come to your rescue. Apparently, this kind of training is common among the best cadets." Porco explained as he helped his brother staying up by holding his right arm and pulling him closer.

"He also said he would be the next Beast Titan and the guy who did this to you is the current one and his mentor." Reiner further reported as he helped Bertholdt walking.

"Yes. He also implied that all titan holders do this to the most promising candidates. I'm certain that they divide the best students into 2 teams – the best team is supposed to be isolated and fight each other driven by their wrathful primal instincts of survival, confirmed by the fact that you did not get to eat or drink today and by the outcomes of this… «trial». I believe this exercise stimulates logical thinking, for the winner was meant to think rationally and conclude that there was enough food to return their whole team to safety, your communication skills were also stimulated, as you were supposed to signal your whereabouts. As for the second team, we were simply meant to rescue you by utilizing the nature. In conclusion, this task was constructed in a way to stimulate teamwork, communication and utilizing our environment. " Pieck theorized softly.

" _Who would be able do such horrible things to innocent children? Is butchering our morals part of our training? I wouldn't be able to sleep at night if I did something like that… Mother. Father. You told me they would make me a strong person like you wanted me to be. You told me they would make me a fearless warrior that would become a hero. There's nothing heroic about this. It's just downright traumatic and inhumane_." Bertholdt mused depressingly in his mind.

" _Hmph_ …  _Clever exercise. Father would be proud. Though I have to say it was too soon to do something so drastic, we are still too inexperienced. Or at least the others are, I'm doing just fine. Regardless, it seems I overestimated my father's training. He prepared me just fine for physical challenges. Starvation, thirst, fatigue, pain – These are my old friends that I know all too well. But father never stimulated my mental fortitude as skillfully. I nearly fell victim to their plan and let myself get consumed by anger. And I certainly wasn't counting on the teamwork and communication aspect. I have to improve this. If Marcel wasn't there… I believe this Marcel is trustworthy, for now."_ Annie thought to herself.

" _What a smart girl! I should stay close to these guys. They know what to do… unlike me… Don't beat yourself up, Reiner. Remember what you did today? You were amazing. And you'll be even more if you learn with them. They're all so nice and helpful. If I stay with them, I'll surely become one of the titans. By any means necessary."_ Reiner pondered optimistically.

* * *

 

After that atrocious day, the 6 children wanted nothing less than sleep. They just wanted to put that horrible day in the past and hope the next one wouldn't be as sadistic. They just wanted to burn an unsustainably overgrown forest and pray for what births next comes out better.

In the female dorm rooms, however, an irate Annie was having trouble falling asleep. She couldn't stop thinking about the brutal state her former sparring partner was in. Granted, he eventually woke up and seemed acting normal, but she was deeply worried about the long term consequences those aggressions to his head could cause.

" _Strange. When Bertholdt_   _used to act like a pathetic harmless baby in a fight, I couldn't help laughing at him and beating him harder. But that time, my chest felt tighter when Marcel hit him. I had to look away… I couldn't see him suffer. Goodness knows I'd love to do what Marcel did or even harder to plenty of people. But Bertholdt? No way, even though he's a pitiful waste of vast potential, the guy's just too sweet, he doesn't deserve anything like that. He's like an oasis in the middle of a giant desert. This world is dark and selfish and cruel, but I feel like there's light in him. Fucking Marleyans, everything bad in the world was caused by them. They're the ones who deserve getting their heads bashed against trees until they die horribly. I just hope he's fine…"_ she mused as she laid on her back and rested the back of her head on her hands.

Just when she thought her day couldn't get any worse and that sleep couldn't be farther, life found a way to blow on her card castle. In that warm summer night, rain descended down the Heavens. Given the fact that the neglecting Marleyans didn't even bother providing basic accommodation conditions to their most reliable war weapons. The candidates for the Titan powers had a defective ceiling that allowed the passage of the water in certain places. Annie happened to be exactly subjacent to one of those flawed spots.

She growled viciously as she instinctively jerked to the unpleasantly cold water on her face.

Either the Marleyan bigwigs purposefully permitted rain indoors in order to allow the children to acquaint themselves with adverse conditions they would most likely face in the future, the ceiling was simply too old, it was a flaw they overlooked or they were downright indoctrinated to despise even the most useful Eldians.

"Annie, come sleep down here with me. You don't want to catch a cold. There's enough space for the both of us." Pieck murmured silently in the dark, as she didn't want to disturb her fellow competitors. She was on the lower bunk bed, so rain water wasn't a concern.

The blonde girl descended down the tiny stairs next to their bunk and joined the dark haired girl.

"Thanks." she whispered tired.

"Don't mention it." Pieck answered surprisingly cheerfully.

Annie quickly laid on the bed and tried her best to ignore the wet sensation on her skin in order to fall asleep at last. Pieck, on the other hand, was sitting on one of the corners of the bed, staring at the darkness. The blonde girl couldn't care less about whatever it was that she was doing, so she didn't bother asking.

After a few minutes, the dark haired girl started giggling. She was trying her hardest not to laugh loudly.

" Something funny?" Annie asked impatiently.

"No. I apologize. I was just recalling the past." she gleefully answered after her laughter ceased.

"Are you gonna tell me about it or will I have to peg you for a lunatic from now on?"

"It's just, this night reminds of one of the last days before I came here. You see, I don't have a home, I lived in my father's clinic. All I did all day was reading books while he treated the patients. Unfortunately, that clinic was in terrible conditions, but at least it used to block the rainwater. Anyway, on a blazing summer day, a farmer who suffered a sunstroke coupled with mild hyperthermia was brought to my father. He had a poor variety of medical equipment, so there was little he could do for the unfortunate man, bathing him in water would help, but we didn't have access to that. Unless the temperature halved four times by the time the sun came down, he would perish…" she reported darkly, while grinning lightly. She paused after the morbid word.

"What happened?" Annie inquired genuinely curious.

"I remember I was resting next to my father. He was just… gazing at the void. Which I believe is understandable considering how our days were either filled with boredom or stress. He was doing this because in that very night, rain infiltrated the ceiling for the first time. Our poor excuse of a home was beyond repair. He slowly turned his head at me and said: «Well, I guess at least that farmer will live». And then he burst into laughter. I was perplexed by his unusual positivity, my lack of hope prohibited me from imitating the gesture. Then he hugged me and told me: «Hey, don't be sad, this could be worse. This could be a lot worse. We still have each other.» I was very well aware that it could be worse, as I witnessed several deaths in that clinic. But I only truly accepted that it could be worse until he told me. We started laughing together, because only then did I realize that stressing over the inevitable is pointless and that you'll feel a lot better after you laugh at your own misery." she described softly.

"That sounds like a healthy and mature attitude." Annie truthfully complimented.

"I agree. But the problem is that the rain continued all night long and our clinic was consequently flooded. How will my father help his patients now? How will he make a living? I miss him so much!" Pieck finally broke and burst into tears. She threw herself at Annie's arms and didn't care if her crying woke up her mates.

"I'm so sorry, Pieck. I really am. Now I feel even worst for treating you the way I did when we first met. But you'll have to apologize for my insensitivity, everyone in here has depressing stories to tell. Follow your own advice and stay strong. Remember, in here, the weak are purged. There is no room for feelings, only success." the blonde female soothed as she embraced the upset one.

"I know. I needed to hear that. Thank you." she sniffed and wiped her tears. "That sentenced you said just now - There is no room for feelings, only success. – Bertholdt mentioned he trained with you. Considering how viciously you fight, you must have been extremely well taught. I take it whoever trained you told you that often? Was it your mother? Or perhaps your father?" she flawlessly analyzed.

"How shrewd. Speaking of Bertholdt, what else did he say about me?" she noticed her mates often brought up the fact that they trained together as a way to start a conversation with her. She wondered what else he had been saying that she was unaware of.

"Not much. But I got the feeling he is very fond of you. You shouldn't be so cold towards him, he gets hurt." Pieck was a lot more calmer now that she partly forgot about the father she missed so and endorsed in something she just found out she loved: Gossip.

"Yeah… I'm cold  _because_  I don't want to hurt him. I'm a terrible person, Pieck. If I were to act like we were friends, either I would end up hurting him or he would end up disappointing me." Annie hoarsely explained.

"Why, things aren't so black and white. You came across as a… what's the word? Misanthrope? You hate human nature in general. You believe everyone is bound to disappoint you and that humans are naturally evil. And when you said «I would end up hurting him», I take it you are renowned for being rather insensitive? Thus, you hurt others, even when you don't mean to. You are unable to emphasize with those you deem weak. That's why the idea of crying repulses you so much. Just now when I cried, it was obvious that you feel you are superior to people that don't have the skill to disassociate from feelings when dealing with them. A skill you perfected so well." she examined further. There was no sorrow in her, just self pride.

"Hmph… That last analysis wasn't as perfect as usual. But you are correct for the most part, nevertheless. I simply think that when life's obstacles knock you down, don't just cry and ask for someone to lick your wounds, I believe it's better to get up and move on." the blonde girl explained calmly.

"Right…"

"Bertholdt is a good kid. Perhaps it wouldn't hurt if acted more friendlily. He made it abundantly clear that he craved for a friendship. I guess it was very cruel of me to deny such thing when he was so kind to me. Kinder than anyone I have ever met." Annie apologetically admitted.

" _My suspicions were confirmed. She had an unloving parent."_ Pieck thought triumphantly. She didn't say that out loud as she didn't want to struck a nerve.

"They sent him to the infirmary. Let us hope they'll give him the treatment he needs and deserves." the dark haired female comforted.

"Yes. Let us hope." she whispered longingly.

"I feel like our fortnightly visit to our parents will never come. I can't wait to see my father." Pieck whined anticipatorily.

"Tell me about it. I just wanna go home." Annie almost cried. The thought of coming back to her familiar cabin and jumping to her father's welcoming arms was like a painkiller. It gives momentary relief but has long lasting side effects. Fantasizing about pleasant thoughts may be comforting but it may also cause one to suffer from anticipation and lose sight of their goals.

* * *

Finally those 2 hellish weeks have passed, which meant the participants of the academy had the right to visit their parents for a day. Though choosing to stay in the academy is advised by the instructors, all of the children opted for going to see their family.

Given the fact that Annie and Bertholdt were neighbors, they shared an entire ride from the military truck that brought all the cadets to their respective homes. As they trembled from the bumpy ride, both of them observed the beautiful orange and red painting left in the sky by the sun's departure.

"I can't believe only 2 weeks have passed. I hope my parents miss me just as much as I miss them." Bertholdt babbled to Annie after a long period of silence, as they waited for their ride to stop.

"I have no doubt they miss you greatly. I don't know them very well but I can assure you they'll be delighted once they see you." Annie responded serenely with a wide grin. It was half genuine and half forged, because despite her good mood, she was trying her best to return the foreign kindness he treated her with.

"You think so?" he gasped pleasantly surprised by her unusual warmness. "Umh… I-I… uh… well I…" he mumbled incoherently.

He was so caught off guard by her positivity that he didn't know what to say. Was that happening? That had to be a dream of some sort… Annie wasn't being grumpy as always. She seemed – genuinely cheerful. She even complimented him. Granted, it was an indirect compliment, but still. It would made sense if she was happy to meet her father after so much time, but she was actually engaging in healthy socialization. That's a first!

Naturally defeatist as he is, Bertholdt had long lost hope of starting a friendship with Annie. He sensed a scarred soul in her, one that could me mended through loving bonds of trust, something he had in excessive abundance. He had spent all his life, that far, either in complete solitude or surrounded by worn out parents. When they weren't teaching him how to master the art of firearms, they were exhausted from work. Thus, most of his time was spent farming. All alone. With nobody to support him. No one to go to dry his eyes.

He used to fantasize about having friends often. When his mother wasn't in such an overwhelming economic strain, she told him how the relationships one builds were life's greatest gifts. He could really use a relationship like that. And he certainly wanted Annie to have one as well. He believed that solitary attitude of hers was an unconscious cry for help from someone who was too proud and too scared to reach out for others.

"Come now, there's no need to be shy around me. Just speak your mind." Annie encouraged smoothly.

"I just wanted to say that… I wouldn't mind visiting your father either. He taught me so much after all, I'm certain he would be happy to know that someone else cares about him. I mean… if you don't mind of course." he chuckled nervously.

As it impossible as it may sound, she actually looked… prettier when she was happy. He felt heat rising from his cheeks, his breathing accelerated and tiny drops of sweat started cascading down his face.

"Of course I don't mind." she spoke softly. "Bertholdt, I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but remember when sergeant Drake took us to that tournament in the woods?" the smile she had was gone, whatever it was she was going to say next would be a serious topic.

"Umh… Yes?" he said shyly. The positive atmosphere had instantly disappeared.

"I don't want to make you feel bad, but as someone that would hate to see you hurt, I urge you to refrain from acting so… so…" she was struggling to find a truthful but light word, as she desperately wanted to speak the cold raw truth, but was making an effort to being less callous.

"Cowardly? Pathetically?" he suggested words that would fit his pitiful behaviors correctly. Even though he appreciated her for being honest and thoughtful, he couldn't avoid the tears that threatened his eyes.

"Passively. Remember when we met? One of the first things I told you was that you wouldn't last long in this world if you kept that attitude. And I still stand by that. The Marleyans are living proof that everyone will bully you and lie to you if you let them. Bertholdt, I have seen your potential, you have so much give and yet you are so frightened and indecisive all the time. Don't you understand you're giving others power when you do this? If you act like a submissive doormat, then you are bound to be trampled." she preached genuinely concerned.

She knew she could trust him when it came to ill-speaking about Marley. He knew she would beat him up if he ratted her out.

"I know, but… it's hard to explain… It's easier said than done." he didn't know what else to say for himself. He agreed with everything she said but he didn't know how to act like – like her. He highly admired Annie.

"If I had your body, I guarantee you I would be a lot more feared and a lot more powerful. Look… if you want… I can teach you how to be more assertive. It'll only do you good. You are way too passive." she was aware that she wouldn't enjoy spending time with other human beings instead of by herself, but she felt like she owed him.

"You mean it? Thanks. That really means a lot." he answered with a genuine smile. "It's just – when I think about acting aggressively, I can't stop thinking about the innocent Eldians I watched being executed by firing squad publicly along with their families. I don't want to stoop to their level! I just want us all to be happy together. When I'm aggressive, the other person isn't happy." he explained.

"No one agrees with you. I understand where you're coming from, but if you keep on living with that mindset, you'll be stepped on by everyone. You have to become a monster if you want to defeat a monster." she spoke in her usual apathetic tone.

" _Huh? Mommy told me something similar to that once. I wonder where she heard that from…"_ Bertoldt thought to himself.

"You-You're right…" he shrugged his shoulders and looked down in shame.

"See what you just did? That's exactly it! That's the attitude that is holding you back." she yelled. "Look, that day in the forest, when Marcel did those things to you I had to look away. Because… because I…"

"Yes?"

"Because I care about you, Bertholdt." she hardly confessed.

"Y-You do?" he couldn't believe what he had just heard. He was overflowing with bliss, which caused his muscles to tremble.

"I meant what I said." she serenely assured.

"I-I.. I uh… I care about you too. I care about you a lot, Annie. That is why I want you to get out of your shell and try to make friends. I know I'm annoying when I bring that up but I just want you to be happy. I really do." he mustered up the courage to say that.

"That… That means a lot to me. That's sweet of you. But I must be honest, I'm not exactly sociable, or friendly. Interacting with other people drains my energy, I always feel like I have to be in constant vigilance. I'd much rather staying alone. That's why I believe it would be selfish of me to hang out with you. You deserve better than me. I'm not that good of a person. Reiner, for example, is a lot better for you, you two seem to get along pretty well. Marcel is also a great guy, he treats everyone wonderfully. Pieck cares for you and even Porco is a better friend than me. Stick with them and forget me. For your sake." she darkly advised

"Don't say that! I know there is goodness in you! Plenty of it! You simply don't trust enough to unleash your true self." he countered honestly.

"You have that much faith in me? I admire your optimism, or perhaps naivety would describe it better? Regardless, it warms my heart to know that you think I'm better than I actually am. You're wrong though, if I were to slaughter, the island dwellers for example, I wouldn't feel anything. That's how awful I am." she argued grimly.

"That's not true. No one would feel so little after doing something so terrible." he mumbled unconfidently.

"Once again you are wrong." she coldly spat.

Shortly after an awkward silence installed, the military truck's movements halted. They had arrived at their destination. They didn't have to walk much until they got home.

"Come. It's time to go." Annie emotionlessly informed as she got up.

"Annie… Are we… are we friends?" he asked melancholic after halting her advances by lightly pulling her hand with his. He was so afraid of her reaction he couldn't look directly in her eyes.

"…"

She honestly wasn't sure. She looked down contemplative, trying to decide whatever it was that they had together. Friendship was concept a lot more intimate for her than most. And intimacy wasn't something she welcomed.

"You trust me about the bad things you say about Marley. That means… that means you trust me. You are always saying we shouldn't trust no one, so that must mean you like me - at least slightly. And you said you cared about me. I think… I think that makes us friends." he raised his head to gaze directly at her eyes and clenched his fists as he gained the confidence to stand by what he had just said.

"I believe… I believe it's too soon to call what we have a friendship." she unconfidently confessed.

That sentence alone was enough to make Bertholdt's optimism and morale comparable to a crystal chandelier that fell down and shattered to pieces. However, hope wasn't lost. She implied there was still a possibility for a friendship.

"I… I see…" he mumbled incoherently. Once again staring at the floor.

"Let's go."

They left the truck together and silently walked side by side towards their homes. When Annie sighted her cabin, she couldn't remember the last time she felt so relieved. So happy.

Right before she knocked her door, she was shocked to realize that the boy who had followed her still had something to say.

"Wait, Annie." he shouted.

"Yes?" at that point all she wanted was returning already. What else did he want?

"Thanks for stroking me while I was passed out in the woods. It felt really good after the beating I suffered." he muttered meekly.

"Oh! Uhm… You're welcome." she shyly responded with a slight smile.

She honestly didn't know why she made such an affectionate act. If 2 weeks ago someone had told her she would caress someone, she wouldn't believe it. She wouldn't believe anything for that matter, but still, she would be even more skeptical.

"I'm gonna miss you." he longingly confessed.

"We only won't see each other for a day. Then we'll have to go through hell again." she spoke softly after chuckling lightly.

Finally she knocked the door.

"Then we'll go through hell together. If we help each other out, we're bound to become titans." he babbled unusually optimistically.

"Goodbye, Bertholdt." she said after griming widely.

The man who opened the door had a face who clouded her mind on a constant basis. A face she wanted to see more than anything.

It was Mr. Leonhart, her father. He was grinning from ear to ear and his eyes were watery. Her little girl was back. Her little Annie, her treasure was finally under his strong wing again.

She was overflowing with joy. She run and jumped at him, hoping he would catch her. And he did.

Only then did Hell ended for Annie. Finally she returned to her personal Heaven. Bertholdt decided to leave their heartfelt reunion and took his departure.

* * *

 

"I missed you so much, dad…!" she mumbled in his chest. She was successfully fighting her tears.

"I missed you more." he gently answered as he embraced her. "Tell me everything that happened."

"You should have seen. We were treated even worse than I expected. They barely let us sleep. It rained in our dormitory. They would use starvation and thirst as punishment and motivation. But yet I endured it all. All thanks to you, you prepared me properly. I succeeded in everything they demanded." she fiercely complimented.

"I told you that all I did was because I loved you didn't I? But never fear. Those adverse conditions are purposefully created to strengthening your minds. I'm fully confident that if anyone is able to endure that, it is you." her father spoke enthusiastically.

She felt… revitalized. She felt like she could endure anything the Marleyans threw at her.

"They taught us how to fight. But I didn't need to, I was already excellent. You should have seen their faces when they saw how good I was." she cheerfully reported.

"I didn't expect anything less from my daughter. Tell me more" he laughed proudly. This was the first time she had heard him laugh in years.

"I will… but… you told me you'd tell me what happened to mother after I came back. I really want to know what happened. Please dad." she adopted her usual serious tone.

"Very well. As strong as you are, I doubt this story will crush your focus. But I am warning, this is a long and sad story. Do you still want to hear it?" he sighed. He too had returned to his normal stoic self.

"I'm sure."

"All right. It's very complicated, I don't know where to start. But I guess it all began with that faithful day."

_She was caressing her daughter's hair. The baby in the crib had spent the entire night crying so the mother was trying to sooth her to sleep. Stroking her forehead usually succeeded in helping her resting._

" _Honey, she is almost asleep. Let's go back to bed." Mr. Leonhart_   _whispered seductively to her ear as he caressed her wife's arms from behind._

_The woman's body, who was just as short as he was, normally responded pleasantly to his provocative words, but that time she was completely aloof. Her eyes were dead and she behaved like a zombie._

_He didn't think nothing of this, because he assumed she was simply tired from tending for her daughter incessantly. On the other hand, he was more than accustomed to any kind of emotional or physical strain, due to the training he received._

" _I'm going for a walk. I need to clear my head." she mumbled emotionlessly._

" _What? So late?" he asked surprised by her sudden strange behavior._

" _I'll be back in a minute." she whispered lifelessly._

" _Do you want me to go with you?"_

" _No."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God! This chapter gave me fits. Finally it's finished.
> 
> Oh and there's a lot more to Annie's mom's story than this, we'll see more in the next chapter ;)
> 
> I don't know, I kinda feel like this chapter was a little rushed, but whatever.
> 
> Oh and you might be thinking that that whole ordeal in the forest was kinda pointless, but you'll see it holds some relevancy later on the story.


	12. Everybody lies

"Rise and shine, dear." the newly mother whispered softly as she gently stroked her baby's hair.

When her little blonde angel slowly opened her blue eyes, she was pleasantly surprised to see that her offspring cracked a smile and even a short giggle when she acknowledged the one who awakened her because she had proven herself a rather serious child.

"Are you gonna take Annie with you?" her husband asked cheerfully as he got up from bed.

"Yeah, she'll be fine. A train attendant isn't a very turbulent job. I'll be keeping an eye on her all the time." she joyfully answered as she picked up their little girl.

"But I don't want to worry that gorgeous head of yours. I don't mind taking care of her today." he argued as he provocatively kissed his wife's neck, pausing between each seductive kiss.

"No. You must always look after your students, you might lose them." she countered as she laughed from the tickles his lips were causing.

"Fine…" he yielded brightly. "Just keep in mind that I have a surprise for you when you come back." he teased merrily.

"Last time you told me that, I got pregnant." she playfully reminded.

"Then this time I'll have to surprise you harder." he winked naughtily.

"Okay, okay." she laughed after she understood his perverted intentions. "I do hope that surprise of yours lasts longer than 40 minutes this time." she teased playfully as she exited her cabin and went to work.

"Hold on, honey!" he yelled and caught her attention. "Wouldn't you prefer to trust her care to one of our neighbors? I'm sure there's somebody generous enough to help us." he suggested in a more serious tone.

"Nah, the only neighbors who should be at home by this time are the Hoovers, and they also have a baby of their own. I really don't want to double down their worries." she rejected pessimistically.

"So? If they say no, you stay with her. If they say yes, then great. It'll only take 5 minutes." he insisted persistently.

"I don't know… Do you trust them?" she questioned worried for her precious little treasure's well being.

"Hmph – If they dare even  _think_  about harming her, I'll smack the shit out of them. And they know it." he assured seriously.

He had quite the reputation of being a violent and menacing individual, when he was angry.

"I mean… They seem nice. As far as I can tell that Bertholdt, or whatever the fuck their spawn's name is, of theirs also appears to being raised properly, but still - I get bad vibes from them. They seem a little… shady." she confessed concerned.

"Yes. I suppose one can never be too careful. Forget about them then, they're probably not very fond of me anyway." he chuckled as he reminisced all of few and short encounters he had with the Hoovers. He had always treated them untrustworthily and coldly, despite their warm attitude toward him.

He didn't quite understand what his wife found shady in particular about them. He never noticed anything out of the ordinary coming from them. But then again, he refused to associate himself with anyone who isn't her precious little Annie and the woman who gave birth to her. Everyone else is shady. No one was trustworthy for him.

He only opened an exception that time because he knew his frightening reputation strongly preceded him. Everyone knew that if he dreamed that someone had even the slightest intention of remotely hurting his family, they would be would be instantly pummeled to death. Assuming they were Eldian, that is. Otherwise he had no choice but to submit.

Oh, and also because he was  _really_  horny.

"I'll be on my way then. See you later, honey." she casually announced as she took her departure with her angelic offspring in her arms.

Her husband didn't respond. He simply smirked naughtily, placed his index finger and middle finger on different corners of his lips and obscenely wagged his tongue.

She rolled her eyes, turned around and left.

 

* * *

 

"You'll be staying here for a while, Annie. But don't worry, mommy will check on you frequently." she assured her daughter as she prepared a tiny crib for her.

Said crib consisted of a few pillows and towels that would keep her warm and comfortable, which she found in a small storage room in the train she worked at. It was meant for Marleyan passengers who complained about the cold. Since it was spring, that clearly wouldn't be an issue.

She had to place her somewhere where her babyish noises wouldn't bother the passengers. If a Marleyan felt annoyed by an Eldian child's crying, her family would meet their end. The only location that fulfilled that quota was an empty seat next to the train driver, who happened to be Eldian.

"If that kid starts crying or takes a shit, I'm gonna be fucking pissed." the train driver warned.

"She won't disturb your focus, I promise. During the day, she's usually very calm. " she appeased desperately.

"Whatever. If that thing distracts me, it's your fault if the train goes to shit." the Eldian middle aged woman threatened.

She nodded defeated.

Fortunately, her little Annie was very calm. In fact, she feared her daughter was too calm. So much that she started to wonder if she was suffering from an illness of some sort. However, much to her relief, nurse Hoover insists that her personality is simply stern and that there was nothing to be worried about.

Then again, that woman didn't inspire much confidence in her.

The train she worked at was consisted of a series of connected vehicles. Most of them were designed to harbor Marleyans; the remaining, poorer ones were destined for Eldians.

In order to reach the vehicles meant for her kin, she would first have to pass through the Marleyan divisions.

As she entered the first segment, the only people she saw were 2 Marleyan men, both of which were wearing police uniforms and they were acting strangely. They were bodily gesticulating frenzily, loudly talking incoherently and laughing rowdily.

"Umh… Excuse me, may I have your tickets, please?" she pleaded meekly, intimidated by their unrestrained wild behavior.

"Fuck no! But you can have this sandwich!" one of the deranged policemen yelled as he threw a final piece of a salivated mayo sandwich at her face.

She went from downright terrified from her impotence to completely humiliated. The Marleyan passengers were generally quite disrespectful, but this form of abuse was rare. And the worst part is that it always escalated after wrongdoings like these. Her husband often preached that if we allow evil to bloom on our garden, it won't stop growing until either the garden or the evil dies. But she couldn't stand up to Marleyan evil.

The beloved father of her beloved daughter headstrongly protected her from everything, but regrettably, not even that fearless, violent, passionate man could shield her from their natural oppressors. All they could do was sit back and endure the suffering. Still, she wished he was there. With him, safety was guaranteed.

"I am… very sorry, sir… but I believe without tickets I must ask you to leave." she hesitantly muttered.

"Or what? You're gonna drag us out kicking and screaming? Fuck off, bitch!" the man who didn't threw his meal hollered after both of them laughed hysterically for a short while.

"But…" she tried to reason.

"Butt? You want me to fuck you in the butt? Well shit, I'm very sorry but I refuse to stick my dick in scummy Elidans." the other joked sarcastically. "Look at this whore stuttering, Biggs!" he laughed at his partner.

She was on the verge of tears. What would her daughter think of her if she saw the person who was supposed to shape her confidence and ethical principles be violated so? For her, being a mother was learning about strengths she wasn't aware she had, and dealing with fears she didn't know existed. But she was doing a terrible job with that. She was absolutely powerless. Thank the Heavens Annie was watching that!

"Hey Wedge, I think this bitch is about to cry!" Biggs mocked viciously.

"Gee well fuck, I was always told that I should cry freely and let my frustrations out. Let's lend this bitch a hand, Biggs." the cruel cop announced.

Wedge quickly got up from his comfy seat and punched her in the nose. The poor woman lost her balance and fell.

"Fuck off, bitch!" Biggs screamed angrily.

She didn't want to spend one more second with those brutes. As she was incapable of standing up to or even reason with them, she just left as fast as she could to the direction of the Eldian section of the train.

As soon as she vanished from the sight of that pair of corrupt cops, she finally allowed the flood gates in her eyes to open. She refused to cry in front of them, she wouldn't give them that satisfaction.

But sadly, tears weren't the only fluids that escaped her organism. Her nose was leaking dangerous amounts of blood. Since there was basic medical care in a small storage room by the driver, she just had to persist a little while longer.

In the Eldian section, there were also only 2 men present, but these ones seemed far calmer. They were Dismas and Gestas, for some strange and unknown reason, they travelled by train to various destinations very frequently since a few months before.

"Why, what happened to you, miss?" the shortest man hastily asked concerned.

"I was attacked by Marleyans. Do not worry, there is nothing I can do." she reported morbidly.

"You can still report them to the police. Surely, they will receive a very lenient sentence, but it's still better than nothing." the taller one insisted.

He was right. Even though violence of any kind, regardless of the perpetrator's race or the victim's race, was prohibited; an assault on an Eldian caused by a Marleyan was culturally seen as natural and just. Therefore, in that case, a Marleyan would be lightly punished, if punished at all.

"They were the police. If I report them, they will turn the table against me. Besides, I am almost certain they were under the effect of drugs, which makes them dirty cops." she explained pessimistically.

"Blast those damn Marleyans! I'm sick of them!" the shorter man cursed furiously.

"Dismas! Don't say that!" the other scolded concerned for their safety. Those two sentences were very dangerous. All it would take to execute the 3 of them was a quick report to the police without evidence.

"I'm sorry, Gestas. But I'm tired of not being able to speak my mind. If I can't stand up for myself, then at least let me speak!"Dismas released his frustrations out.

"Umh… You won't say a word about what you just heard, will you?" Gestas almost threateningly begged .

"I have no idea what you 2 gentleman are talking about, I just approached you, after all. May I have your tickets, please?" she professionally asked, as though she hadn't heard anything.

"Thanks." Dismas smiled relived. "Umh - Yes, they're right here." he handed over both of their tickets.

Gestas remained concerned, however. Understandably so, given the fact that Eldians are indoctrinated to the point of believing that they are heroes if they call out their kin for the serious crime of speaking ill of Marley, no matter how truthful or harmless such critics are.

She envied Dismas, for being courageous enough for rightfully asserting himself against an oppressive and toxic ideology. It was a taboo for her to even think about it. She never met anyone who had the audacity of criticizing Marley in public, her husband would sometimes bring that up inn-doors briefly, but even then she didn't feel comfortable enough to agree with him.

" 'Sup mothefuckas!" Biggs hysterically screamed after he kicked the door open.

The 3 Eldians gasped and flinched. Those 2 cops were clearly not in their right mind. There was nothing they could do against them, especially because they were armed. They were chickens trapped with starving foxes.

"So we've been counting our cash aaaaaaaaaand let's just say we weren't happy with what we saw, soooo we were wondering if you were kind enough to give these poor souls a helping hand." Wedge babbled incoherently as he aimed a rifle at them.

"No way! You did enough harm already! Stop tormenting us and leave!" Dismas responded tenaciously.

"The fuck did that shithead say, Wedge?" Biggs mockingly asked in between snorts.

"Not sure, Biggs. I don't speak «motherfuckerish», but I do know that if these Eldian scum don't give us everything they have, I'm gonna be fucking pissed." the other corrupt policeman guaranteed angrily, leaving their hostages trembling in fear.

"Holy shit! You said it!" Biggs gasped and laughed.

"You're right! I didn't even notice." Wedge realized ecstatically. They both looked as though they had just heard the best joke of the world.

The Eldians had no idea what had just happened and they weren't sure if they should be relieved or frightened by their sudden change of behavior.

"I fucked a hooker while she slept

I only used my big ass tongue

When she woke up, she quickly asked:

«Where in the fucking hell you kissed?»

I took my pants off and my thong

«If you don't spread yer' hairy butt cheeks

I'm gonna be fucking pissed»

I said, I love fucking cheap hoes

I wanna cum on them like a hose" they sang together in harmony while they pressed their weapons' trigger multiple times at random directions.

Even though they were obviously under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol, they still managed to coherently sing synchronized, which means they must have sung that damn music often. When the shooting started, the 3 confused hostages took shelter behind the train seats, hoping they would block the bullets. Miraculously, there were no casualties, but the seats and the ceiling were not left unscathed.

They flailed their arms ecstatically while they fired. The shooting only ceased when they ran out of ammo.

"Fuck!" Biggs spat frustrated.

"Forget them! They got the message. I highly doubt scum like them as money to begin with anyaway." Wedge dismissed unworried. Then they returned to whence they came.

Their brains still hadn't processed what had happened. The 3 innocent victims were gasping for air in union while they recovered from their adrenaline rush.

"Is everyone okay?" she asked worried about her passengers safety.

"Yes." Gestas spoke softly, still coming to terms with the traumatizing experience.

"But they won't be! I'm going to confront them!" Dismas announced determined.

"Are you nuts? Don't you know what they're capable of?." Gestas tried to reason as calmly as he could.

"They don't have ammo and their clearly intoxicated. I'll be fine." he argued as he aggressively followed the ones who attacked them.

"I'll help you. I'm sick of acting like a doormat." she agreed viciously. She was confident the consequences they would face would be mild because they had clear evidence that they were brutally attacked scattered throughout the train and the perpetrators would most likely show traces of illegal substances, judging by their uncanny behavior.

Herself and Dismas marched side by side bloodthirsty, while Gestas followed them reluctantly to the Marleyan section. When the door they opened no longer blocked the view of their attackers, they gasped horrified when saw both their aggressors sniffing ecstatically some sort of white powder. Their toxic grinning expression only turned into a menacing scowl when they realized 3 miserable scum had witnessed an unforgivable crime, even by Marley's standards.

"Holy shit! Wedge, they saw the cocaine. We gotta kill'em, or else we're toast!" Biggs suggested nervously on impulse.

"Fuck no! If we do that, we'll draw attention to ourselves and the other cops might very easily find out about the drugs. We hid them so poorly! We have some in here and on the hiding place." Wedge warned in panic.

A wave of relieve extinguished the fire of dread that burned deep within the 3 Eldian hearts. Not only did those madmen confessed that they would spare them, but they also confessed their crime. Had they not consumed the illegal substances they carried, they would most likely not be so open and transparent about their ordeal.

"Listen closely. You're lucky we don't have time to dispose of you and hide the drugs at the same time. But I promise you this, we will leave, and then if we have the slightest suspicion you ratted us out, we will hunt you down and kill you along with your families, so I suggest you don't tell spill the beans. Understood?" Wedge threatened while he squeezed his knuckles menacingly. It seemed as though they were clear headed enough to bite as much as they barked.

The hostages nodded trembling.

"Good. Come on, let's go." Biggs announced before they hastily picked up the fallen drugs and departed.

When they finally vanished from their sight, the Eldians released a breath they didn't even realized they were holding.

"Oh no. What do we do?" Dismas panicked.

"Let's calm down. As long as we don't say anything, they will probably not bother coming after us." Gestas tried to calm down.

"Exactly. There is nothing we can do anyway. We can't accuse them of drug consumption without evidence, so we might as well forget this ever happened." she calmly suggested her coping mechanism: pretend the evil didn't happen.

"We can't just let them get away with this-"

"We can and we will." Gestas asserted angrily.

"Let's just lay low and…" she started before realizing something very important. "Goodness – Annie!" she screamed.

She was so frightened for her life that she lost sight of her most valuable treasure: her daughter. It was very unlikely that they crossed paths with her, but there was no such thing as an irrational fear when it came to her little angel.

She ran to the driver's room where she left her child.

"What happened? I heard gunshots!" the driver asked.

"Marleyan dirty cops. Did they come here?" she hastily explained.

"Obviously not. Could you shut up that thing?" the woman behind the control panel darkly informed.

"How dare you talk like that? Have you no heart?!" she angrily hollered as she picked up her crying daughter and rocked her in her soothing arms. "There, there. Everything's fine. Mommy is here to protect you." she whispered calmingly.

"Yeah right! Have you looked at your nose?" the rude woman pointed out sarcastically.

The traumatizing experience was so nerve racking that she forgot about her injury. She only noticed her damage when a pair of tiny drops of crimson vital fluid escaped her tilted head and painted her offspring's cheek.

Reality hit her. It hit her hard, just as much as that cop. What was she going to tell her husband? That his life was in irreversible danger? That the life of the women he most loved could very well end soon? She used to be certain she was a good mother. She thought she could shield her daughter from the inevitable and restless evils of the world. She hoped she could raise her as a courageous woman, unlike herself. Her husband preached time and time again that when Humanity spots even the slightest ray of sunshine, it destroys it immediately. She believed he was just being paranoid and pessimistic and desperately wished that her treasured Annie would grow up as someone who saw good in people. But her husband has proved time and time again that he was right… He was the only one she could trust…

 

* * *

 

"Honey, what happened to you?" her spouse ran at her direction and embraced her after seeing her bandaged nose and defeated expression.

"I was attacked by some Marleyan dirty cops." she shamefully muttered.

"What? Well… we… we must…" he desperately wanted to fight back but he was painfully aware that such a feat was impossible. He wasn't even surprised about what had happened. Eldians were assaulted by Marleyans almost on a constant basis and there was nothing anyone could do about it.

"We can't do anything." she didn't know what else to say. She was still shocked.

"How dare they attack my family?! Those cowards just had to prey on women! I'd like to see what they'd do if I was there. I guarantee you they would pay, I wouldn't care about the consequences." he wrathfully confessed.

"Are you nuts? You would only make things worse! Do you want our baby to suffer?" she argued. Even though she understood and appreciated his resentment, one shouldn't pick a fight they can't win.

"Did something happen to Annie?" he asked slightly more calmly when she brought her up. He was concerned, despite her sweet peaceful expression.

"She's fine. But the gunshots must have scared her, she started crying right away." she casually pointed out, unaware of the fact that she mentioned the serious danger she didn't want her husband to stress over.

"Guns?!" he roared furiously. "They shot at you?!"

"Calm down. They didn't hurt anyone, thank goodness. Remember those frequent passengers I mentioned? Dismas and Gestas? They were the only ones there with me and they're fine as well." she unconfidently appeased.

"What does that matter? You could have died!" he yelled. "That does it, I'm gonna… I'm gonna…"

"You're not gonna do anything! I love you too much to lose you! Promise me you won't do something foolish!" she demanded.

"No, honey. I'm tired of living in fear! If I'm going to die, then I'm going to die fighting. That is the most glorious death one can have. Just tell me how they looked like." he countered confidently.

"And what about me? What about Annie? Do you want to lose us too? If you so much as complain about this in public, the 3 of us will be executed." she argued distressed.

He growled in frustration and fought the urge of punching a wall. "And what about Dismas and Gestas? Do you think they will report what happened? Honestly, I don't trust them. From what you described, they travel several times a week. Two men travelling alone frequently? That sounds very suspicious, they must be hiding something."

"You say that about everyone." she scoffed.

"That's because no one is trustworthy! No matter how you slice it, the vast majority, if not more, of human beings hide something terrible! Otherwise, you wouldn't be in that mess."

"Regardless, I still haven't said the worst part. There were apparently drugs in their possession, and me and the other 2 saw them." she initiated a point she didn't want to finish.

"It's normal for someone to grow careless of their secrets when they are intoxicated." he had a hunch about what she was about to say but he desperately hoped he was wrong.

"Well, they know we saw what they were intending to hide."

"And?" his doubts were staring to dissipate.

"And – they threatened to chase us and kill us, along with our families, if they believe they are under suspicion." she braced herself for his outburst as she pressed her eyelids against one another.

He wasn't as angry as she predicted. To him, it felt like his heart had fell to the ground and shattered to pieces. The world stopped. He just nervously and silently picked up a chair and sat on it. He breathed heavily as he squeezed the bridge of his nose, with his head leaning down and his eyes closed, trying to find an exit after he was cornered.

Fleeing was the most effective option of escape in normal circumstances. However, Eldians were subjected to stricter circumstances. All of the Eldian citizens in the continental mainland were segregated from the rest of the population into designated areas, in their case, they were trapped in the Liberio internment zone. Therefore, it was nearly impossible for someone of their kin to flee persecution.

They felt like wounded rabbits trying to scurry up a wall they had been cornered to by a pack of starving wolves. Too stupid and too frightened to realize they were trapped and the wall wouldn't go anywhere.

"This means… I will have to abandon you and Annie. That way if they do end up hunting me down, then at least you 2 are safe." she hummed hesitantly.

"That's out of the question. We will not abandon you!" he snapped.

"It's the only way-"

"No! You're the most important person to me. You're the only one I trust and love. We don't know if they'll come after you for certain. But if they do, then I prefer staying with you. Life is already horrible as it is, I don't need to live. I need somebody to die for, that's the only way to make life meaningful and pleasurable." he confessed heartfelt, gesticulating heavily to convey his sincerity and distress.

She let out a long and desperate sigh. "What about Annie then? Who will raise her if we die?"

"We'll ask the Hoovers to watch over her. But again, you don't know for sure if those fucking Marleyans are going to cut loose ends. I bet they won't even remember anything if they were intoxicated." he argued as his voice cracked from the stress.

She didn't know what to say. The world practically ended for her. She just stared vacantly at the floor.

"Promise me you won't run away, without us." he pleaded.

"I…I can't-" she stuttered meekly.

"Please! You're the reason why I haven't taken my own life. Before you, everything was so… boring, unfair, disappointing." he tried to think of other words to describe the sadist that was his life, but he would spend the entire day doing it if he kept going. "I wondered why my parents bothered giving birth to me, but when I met you… Life didn't seem so bad. It seemed worth living."

She was astonished by his words. He was always a very stoic and not very emotional individual. If he broke is own mold and got out his way to open up to his feelings, then he sincerely meant it.

"I uh…"

"Stay with me. Stay with us." he whispered unusually emotionally.

"Okay – I promise I won't abandon you." she yielded with the first smile she cracked since they said goodbye to each other that morning.

Perhaps she was thinking too much. There was no need to run away and leave her family behind in order to save them. Those dirty cops would most likely not remember anything, as they were clearly high. Besides, they specifically said that they would only hunt them down if they thought their fellow cops suspected them. She will certainly keep her mouth shut. But what about the others? She knew very little about those strange, reserved passengers that boarded the train so frequently. She won't deny that she felt tempted to ask Dismas and Gestas about their reasoning, but her ethical principles always stopped her.

They could relax. There was nothing to fear. Right?

 

* * *

 

A month had passed and everything was normal, as if nothing ever happened. It was almost too good to be true. Nonetheless, that traumatic experience had positive effects as well, it reminded her of what was truly important, she had a loving husband and an angelic daughter, nothing else mattered. She felt like she could go to work care freely with her precious Annie in her arms like she used to.

"Why hello there, Mrs. Leonhart. How do you do?" Mrs. Hoover approached her from behind and greeted politely.

"Good morning, Mrs. Hoover. I am fine, as I hope you are as well. I presume you are heading to your clinic?"

she replied gently. The last thing she wanted was wasting time with someone other than then her family, but she refused to be rude.

"You presume correctly. It seems your nose as healed nicely." her neighbor pointed out happily.

"I have you to thank for that. It's so good to have a nurse as a neighbor." she complimented sweetly albeit not entirely sincerely, causing her interlocutor to grin triumphantly and puff her chest up. "If you don't mind, could you see if my little Annie is all right?"

"From the get go she seems healthy enough. May I hold her for a second?" she asked to examine the baby's weight, whose mother allowed. "Hmh… She is rather light. Have you been feeding her well?"

"We feed her almost everything we have, but it is never enough. We earn almost nothing." she explained shamefully, it broke her hear to know that her daughter will suffer because of her ethnicity.

"You deserve so much better than me. I'm not strong like your father. I am so sorry, Annie."

"You and all Eldians…" Mrs. Hoover sighed depressingly.

"Enough about sad things. How is Bertholdt?" she changed to a brighter subject.

"Good. But the poor thing is almost always alone. A lonely child will grow a sad adult, but I fear that can't be helped. He must learn to fend for himself if he wants us to put food on the table. I wonder if spending time with other children would cheer him up." talking about her son triggered the most pronounced emotional reaction that she ever saw from her. It was like everything other than her boy paled in comparison to him, perhaps they had more in common than they thought.

"I see… Mrs. Hoover, may I ask you a serious question before I leave?" she inquired contemplative with hollow eyes aimed at a random spot on the ground.

"Why, of course!" she answered surprised by her depressed sudden mood.

"Hypothetically speaking, if something were to happen to me and my husband, could you be so kind as to take care of Annie? I know you already have your hands full with Bertholdt, but… Honestly, would you do it?" she questioned as if she was certain she was doomed.

"Umh… Well, hypothetically speaking – I suppose I would. I mean, what are friends for? Eldians must stick together, right?" she responded startled to the uncanny question.

"Right…" she chuckled nervously as way to hide her pain.

"But why do you ask?"

"Oh, don't mind my senseless ramblings." she dismissed awkwardly. "I'll be late for work at this pace. I don't see Dismas and Gestas since ages ago, they must miss me." she hadn't laid eyes on those 2 men since the month before, but she always remained optimistic and refused to believe anything bad happened to them.

"Huh? Don't you know what happened to them?" Mrs. Hoover questioned shocked.

"What are you talking about?" she asked panicked.

"I am very sorry. Those 2 gentleman are deceased. I thought you already knew." her neighbor informed morbidly.

"What? How? When?" she felt like the floor was collapsing. Her adrenaline levels skyrocketed. Her worst nightmare was becoming a reality.

"They have recently perished due to tuberculosis, a very dangerous contagious disease, I believe their respective families are likely to share the same fate. I am very sorry." she repeated sorrowfully.

A luxurious dazzling chandelier, that was previously hanging by a thread, collapsed and shattered to million pieces. She couldn't live in denial anymore. Marleyans had sneaky ways to get rid of their most problematic threats, everyone knew that. Refusing to accept reality wouldn't prevent it from occurring.

"But… Wh… No, this can't be… Tell me, when did they get sick?" she screamed desperately.

"About a month ago. When they showed up on the clinic, I found it very weird that they had contracted tuberculosis, as it was practically eradicated. In fact, I don't remember any case of tuberculosis in years, I have no idea where they got it from. Furthermore it seems they are the only ones who contracted the disease. Well, save for their relatives, who were contaminated by them. There weren't any other casualties as they were quickly put under quarantine though." the nurse explained, trying to remain calm before the other woman's outburst.

_"Oh no. This isn't happening. This can't be happening… It can't."_

She burst into tears and her legs gave up hope, the collision her knees suffered on the irregular ground was painful and shed blood, but her physical pain was like a drop in the ocean of her feelings. She cried and shouted harder than humanly possible.

"Why, Mrs. Leonhart, what is the matter?" the nurse asked horrified.

She ran to the direction of her house holding her daughter perhaps too tightly. She could feel it, building like an unstoppable snowball in the pit of her stomach. She couldn't concentrate on anything else. The next step was her heart starting to beat harder and faster, adrenaline levels rose and her brain started to fire out negative thoughts like a machine gun. As sweat started cascading all over her body. It felt like her skin had another hot layer on the outside, like a bin bag, it moved over her body and never released. The negative thoughts kept coming like waves on rocks. She started pacing or moving around irrationally. The arguments in her head got so fast and so disturbing that her brain shut down her body. The sweat had completely covered her body and her heart felt like it would explode.

That's when she sighted 2 police officers by her front door. They didn't look like the brutes that assaulted her in the train, for all she knew, they could be competent policemen conducting a harmless investigation. Or maybe they were after her.

"It's my turn."

She departed as fast as she could, not even bothering to make sure if the cops by her house noticed her. She resumed her initial route, hoping by some miracle that her life would turn to normal if she avoided confrontation.

 

* * *

 

When the sun came down and she finally returned to the safety of her cabin, she begged for dear life that her husband would bring good news.

"Honey, I saw the police at hour house this morning. What happened?" she hastily questioned her husband.

"Sit down." he gently pleaded hopelessly. She did as she was told. "They said that… last month they suspected 2 adult males, they were referring to Dismas and Gestas, were involved in some shady business, but they refused to tell me what that was. And they suspected you too. I told them you weren't here and they said they would come back tomorrow." he reported drearily.

"What? And what about the clear signs that someone had been firing guns in my train? Did they say anything about that." she demanded hysterically.

"They said they wouldn't do anything about that."

"Oh no… They're gonna get me next." she panicked, pulling her own hair and forcefully pressing her teeth against one another.

"Relax. Let's just run away from here." he tried to appease, even though he was just as frightened as his wife.

"And where are we going? We are trapped in Liberio. That's just avoiding the inevitable. No, I'm going alone and when they kill me, at least you 2 are safe." she argued selflessly.

"Out of the question. You promised you wouldn't leave us." he countered tenaciously.

"It's the only way! The other 2 guys who were with me died of tuberculosis, I wouldn't be surprised if the cops who were here this morning left the bacteria in here to infect us all." she dreaded paranoid.

"No! You're staying and that's final." he raised his voice and asserted. He refused to die before her.

She knew how stubborn he was. He never gave in and he was certainly too spiteful of life to abandon it without what he loved the most. No… If she wanted to spare her family, the only thing that worked out well in her life, the only thing she was remotely good at, the only thing she truly loved, the only thing that kept her sane. She had to leave in secret, for their sake.

"You know what… You're right. If I really am going to die, then I'll die with you." she deceived with a forged smile, teary eyed.

"Don't be so pessimistic. You're probably going to be fine. Those guys were doomed a long time ago, and you are still fine, and even though they kicked the bucket up until recently, you haven't met a cop since the incident last month. We can rest easy." he soothed and hugged her. Caressing her hair and her back calmingly.

"Of course. We are going to be fine. I'm fine. Everything is fine." she repeated like mantra trying to convince herself of her own lies.

As her husband embraced her tightly, her daughter's eyes mated with hers. The baby had her usual neutral expression and she was simply staring at her intently. Was she expecting an affection demonstration?

_"But you're not going to be fine."_

That night she took the most difficult decision of her life. When her husband fell asleep, she checked on her angel one last time and planted a heartfelt kiss on her forehead. He eventually woke up before she departed, but she claimed she was simply going for a walk to clear her head. That was the last time Annie and her father laid eyes on her.

 

* * *

 

"God! I'm so good." Mrs. Hoover babbled triumphantly.

"Don't you mean we?" Mr. Hoover jokingly corrected.

"Yeah, but mostly me." she boasted proudly.

"Fair enough, you deserve it."

"This morning that Leonhart bitch made a scene. Apparently some cops visited her house. I hope that doesn't have anything to do with our plan." she mused spitefully.

"I doubt it. We couldn't have cleaned our tracks better. The cops interviewed the whole neighborhood and we're still here, that means they're not unto us." he calmly explained.

"For now." she mused with a gruffly voice. "But – You're right. I'm worrying too much, I'm a genius after all. Such a shame Dismas and Gestas didn't realized that sooner." she sighed mischievously.

"Haha – yeah you got them good. I usually don't like it when you do these kind of things, but those fuckers had it coming. Here I was rooting for the good of my fellow Eldians when one of them stabbed me in the back! Though I must confess I'm still curious about which one of them was the traitor." he mumbled displeased.

"That doesn't matter anymore, they're both dead. We couldn't afford wasting time finding out which one of them did it, otherwise we'd be done for." she soothed smugly.

"I must say you proved yourself smarter than I thought. When we found out one of our smugglers had been disclosing the delivery location to the Marleyans, you immediately had the idea of planting false information to each pair of our smugglers, telling different delivery places to each and everyone of them on different days, so we can determine which one it was. Then we secretly hid near the delivery locations and found out the authorities had visited the place we told Dismas and Gestas." he reported relieved that everything had worked out in their favor.

"I just don't understand one thing. Why didn't whoever betrayed us rat us out? If his will broke and followed Marley's indoctrination, why didn't he just tell the authorities we were the masterminds?" she questioned puzzled.

"Once again, you're forgetting the human factor. Not all of us are monsters like you, some of us have hearts. I'm sure the traitor got cold feet and decided to throw our plan into disarray in order to spare everyone, including us." he clarified coldly, though she didn't seem offended at all by the fact that her husband had called her a monster, in fact, it looked like she took it as a compliment.

"Don't exaggerate. Our little Bertholdt has been teaching me everything about love, just like you when we met. Now I see why everyone likes it so much. It's addicting, it makes me feel alive. It makes me feel… normal." she confessed warmly while gazing at the half-asleep son she was rocking. Practically all of the smiles she revealed throughout her life had been forged, but that one – that one couldn't be more genuine.

"And now because of the fucker who betrayed us, he will grow up in a world just as bad the one we grew up in." he melancholically spoke while he stroked his son to sleep. "All we did was for you, son. We only secretly trafficked fire weapons to prepare our kin to a revolution against Marley. If only Eldians weren't such delusional scaredy cats with Stockholm Syndrome, we would have a lot more support and thus, a lot more success in turning this world in our favor once again."

"Kyah – You had to speak about the armed revolution again. Imagining all those people pierced by bullets makes me horny." she growled aroused as she gently put their son in his crib. Then she jumped at her husbands' arms and he caught her. "Fuck me. Fuck me hard." she roared wildly

"Wait hold on. What about Bertholdt?" he asked as he laughed at her sudden and welcomed naughty behavior.

"He's fast asleep. I doubt he'll bother us any time soon. Now I want you to fuck me harder than when we conceived him." she demanded electrified.

"Don't underestimate me, honey. You won't be able to walk right tomorrow." he teased provocatively.

"Good. I'll think about Dismas and Gestas while we fuck. Just thinking about them coughing to death makes me cum." she said impatiently.

 

* * *

 

"And that's all I know, Annie. That's how your mother abandoned us. To protect us. I don't even know if she is alive. What I'd give to just know whether she was alright." Mr. Leonhart hummed depressingly.

"Is… is that why you are so devoid of trust? Because she broke your promise?" she whispered, almost scared of the reaction she was certain that would be violent.

"Hmph… She had a good reason for doing what she did and I respect her decision. She fought for what she believed despite the danger she faced, that's something everyone should do. If we all followed our ideals, perhaps we wouldn't be..." he knew the exact word he was looking for, but was still hesitant to speak it. Perhaps «oppression» was the word he was thinking? "However, I won't deny that I was deeply hurt by the fact that she broke our promise. She left me to raise my child alone. One of the pillars that held my will to live had collapsed. Now, I only have one" he melancholically explained.

"Do you… Do you have any idea where she might have gone?" Annie asked as she fought her tears and sobs with all the immense strength she had, while she tilted her head down, shamefully hiding her weakness.

"No. This cage we call the Liberio internment zone may be an enclosure but it is still vast. She must have taken a train to somewhere far away from here." he mused morbidly.

Annie was speechless. Her father had always told her that her mother's fate was unknown. Therefore, she assumed her mother had abandoned her due to lack of love. Still, she wished she was alive. Even if her mother had lost her sanity and gave up on the baby she briefly raised, even if she was a violent lunatic, she desperately wanted to meet the woman who gave birth to her. She would try her hardest to put grudges aside and try to understand her logic. Knowing that she nobly sacrificed herself, was disappointing in a good way.

"She always complained about being weak and that she wished she was strong like me, and yet she demonstrated immense valor and strength." he mused emotionlessly.

"You said that she was the reason why you wanted to keep on living. What did you mean by that?" she inquired curiously.

"I always had a pretty tough life. You have no idea how shortage of money strains affection. My parents and I happened to be the poorest of the poor. Consequently, my mother drowned her depression with alcohol and numbed her pain with a heavily promiscuous lifestyle. My father had multiple affairs and was never around. When I finally got fed up with the violence I was subjected to, I ran away with no regrets. Funny how your mother did the same." he sneered ironically after telling his story vacantly.

" Still, I remained optimistic. I knew there was somebody out there who would love me like everyone should be loved. I was a fool. I was taken in by a man in the slums. He taught me how to fight masterfully, along with several other children. He only had 2 conditions: we had to steal money or food from Eldians only, and if we ever become Titans, we would split everything we gained with him. But feeding and teaching was all he did. He had no emotions, but that didn't bother me, I was more than looking forward to bond with the other children. That's when I learned how horrible humans are. They treated me like scum and if I stood up for myself, they would be surprised and offended as if they had the right to bully me. When others treated me horribly everything was fine, but if I remotely mistreated somebody else, they all ganged up on me as if I had killed someone. Even those who I deemed my friends saw me as undeserving of respect. They lied, they betrayed and they bullied me. When I failed to receive one of the titan powers, I was ultimately abandoned." he described angrily.

"You also attempted to become a warrior?" she asked surprised. She found it weird why he never told her that.

"Yes. I had no where near the training you have, however. With military training, finding a job wasn't very difficult. My time in the warzone truly opened my eyes. Everyone killed and hurt for the pettiest reasons. But you know what? I'd rather be feared than loved. There is nothing better than respect. Never allow anyone to disrespect you, Annie. I finally earned respect when everyone learned that I risked my life for them. That's how selfish people are. Nonetheless, I was taken by surprise when I met your mother, she was a genuinely good person, she didn't love me just because I helped her, she actually truly loved me. But even she lied to me in the end, just like everyone else." he reported longingly.

Annie wasn't sure how to answer. She wanted to cheer up her father, but she didn't know how. She never tried making someone feel better. All she was ever taught was how to fight. No wonder she had no friends.

They heard their cabin's door being gently knocked. "Mr. Leonhart? Annie? Are you there?" a soft voice all too familiar for Annie called behind the closed door. It was Bertholdt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter gave me fits, it took me forever to write! X( And it's a little more mature than usual. I PROMISE FROM NOW ON, THE CHAPTERS WILL BE SHORTER.
> 
> Anyway, in here we find out about Annie's parents' backstory. I wanted a chapter to show Marley's oppression so I came up with this and I got to say, I am rather pleased with how this turned out. Are you interested in more backstories? I still want to show at least Reiner's and his family's and the Galliard's as well, but I'm not sure when I'm going to do that. Do you prefer more plot or more backstories?
> 
> The only thing I didn't like about this chapter (aside from its monstrous length) was that song the cops were singing. It was so random, I seriously considered scrapping that, but I didn't feel like replacing with something else. XD
> 
> Speaking of the cops, I considered using Coderoin (a drug that appeared in Lost Girls, a manga about Mikasa and Annie) as the drugs instead of cocaine, but I changed my mind because coderoin is a wall thing.
> 
> Since the last chapter was updated ages ago, you probably don't remember that Annie's father described the day her mother left them. This was the continuation.
> 
> In this chapter we learn that Bertholdt's father intended to start a revolution by smuggling fireweapons from his shop (it was mentioned he owned a fireweapon shop in one of the first chapters, hence why he taught Bertholdt how to shoot so well, as it was shown he was talented in the manga, yes the real one this time) to Eldians throughout Liberio. Obviously, that didn't work out because one of their smugglers betrayed them. Bert's mom found out it was either Dismas or Gestas, so she played safe and killed both of them with diseases she had access to as her job as a nurse. Thing is, Annie's mother thought they were killed for other reasons ;) and so she escaped, when she'd be perfectly fine if she stayed, poor thing. For now, I want her fate to be unknown. But she MIGHT show up later ;)
> 
> Also, if you're curious about who was the traitor. Just search the etymology of Dismas and Gestas and you'll find out right away who did it. Oh and Biggs and Wedge were 2 characters that appeared together as Luke Skywalkers's Red Squadron wingmen in Star Wars. They are also recurring characters in the Final Fantasy series who always appear as a duo.


	13. Crying is for the weak

"Hello Annie!" Bertholdt shyly but cheerfully enthused as she opened the door. Glad to see a familiar (and gorgeous) albeit neutral face.

"Oh… Hi. What are you doing here?" she slowly muttered. He noticed she spoke in an uncharacteristically dismal manner, instead of her usual stoic tone. Had something happened?

"I was spending some quality time with my parents, but then they went to their night shift." he looked down and chuckled as a way to convince himself that he was already used to the extreme loneliness and that it didn't affect him anymore. Deep inside his subconscious, such a pleasant lie wasn't as convincing. "So I came to pay a visit. I thought you might want some company." he comfortingly gazed at her sad eyes, hoping she would open up for once in her life and allow him to offer her solace.

"Oh! I see… Well thanks for thinking about me, but I have a lot on my mind as of right now. I feel like being alone for a while." she muttered melancholically, not even bothering to raise her gaze at his head's direction. She has just learned that her mother vanished because of her, the last thing she wanted was to spend her energy trying to interact with an annoying brat who didn't understand her.

"Umh… Are you okay, Annie? You don't seem so good, did something happen?" he pressed harder, genuinely concerned by her sudden mood drop.

"Don't worry about it. Certain irreversible things happened and… All I can do now is try to forget them." she quickly explained, trying her best to maintain an emotionless tone. She refused to show weakness, and for her, there was nothing more weak than the inability to dissociate one's feelings from the obstacles life sadistically casts.

"Umh… well… Every time I'm not feeling good, I always talk to my mother and I always feel a lot better afterwards, because she listens to me and understands me and then hugs me and tucks me until I fall asleep… So if you want to talk to someone…" he shyly suggested, struggling to maintain eyes contact with her frigid (and beautiful) expression.

"As I already said, I want to be alone." she raised her voice, frustrated by his annoying persistence, but what irritated her the most was the fact that he seemed to think she actually needed emotional support. Yeah right! Such a pathetic futility was for the weak, and anything other than undeniable strength was unacceptable for Annie. "I am sorry. But I must ask you to leave." she demanded sternly.

Her aggressive outburst caused him to flinch and blink his watery eyes repeatedly. Why was she reacting like that? He treated her nicer than humanly possible and that is how she repaid him? However, for some strange reason, that didn't seem to waver Bertholdt's resolve of helping Annie. He believed that he had done something wrong and that it was entirely his fault that she was feeling worse. He was that naive.

He didn't know what to say, as he stood there frozen by indecisiveness and guilt. The longer he stared at her furiously impatient expression, the louder his whimpers and sobs became.

" _Fuck off, you sad loser! Go cry to your mommy and see if she tucks you until you fall asleep."_ she wrathfully thought in her mind. She desperately wanted to say that out loud, but she stopped herself purely because she treated others with the same amount of respect she demands.

"Greetings, Bertholdt. What brings you here?" Mr. Leonhart asked with forced enthusiasm after he wondered why Annie was taking so long answering the door.

"I… uhm…" he whimpered as he tried to hold back his tears, so her father wouldn't think Annie was responsible for his tears.

She stared daggers at him. Her eyes clearly yelled "Don't you dare tell him I was mean to you." Her father was behind her, so he didn't see her menacing look. Sweat was gushing out of the boy's skin, as he panicked from her silent threat.

"You're crying. What happened?" the man inquired, more curious than concerned.

He couldn't hold it any longer. At that moment, he was crying his eyeballs out and screaming his sorrow out of his lungs. Annie cringed at his pathetic display of weakness. It repulsed her. It disgusted her. A strange desire of punching his ugly wet face and proceeding to stomp his fallen body was growing inside of her. It took every single shred of her willpower to stop herself from giving in to her desires. In fact, she was starting to seriously considering doing so, she didn't even care if her father saw and punished her. Never did his face seem so 'punchable' before.

"Come here." the man kneeled and gently held his tiny shoulders. Funnily enough, the man wasn't much taller than Bertholdt, despite being about 4 times older than him. "What did I tell you about crying? Warriors don't cry, remember? Have you ever seen Annie cry?" he soothed calmingly.

He avoided looking at her scary face and he was sobbing too hard to coherently speak, so he waved his head horizontally, silently saying 'no'. He never really thought about it, but it was true. He had never seen her cry, or even remotely sad for that matter, except when she opened the door earlier. He envied her strength. He felt like a fragile little greenhouse flower, easily damaged by the tiniest adversity, next to a resilient camel, capable of resisting scorching temperatures without breaking a sweat and surviving months without food or water. He wished he had a quarter, no a tenth of her mental fortitude would be more than enough.

"You're still very young, so it's okay. But I don't want to see any more tears, understood? I know your parents would hate to see you sad. They are so busy already, I'm sure that if they came back and saw you happy, they would feel a lot better." he comforted smoothly, with the most believable smile he could forge. Not out of civic obligation, but out of genuine worry for a former student.

" _Is he taking an indirect jab at me? More importantly, why is he treating him so nicely? He is a lot more strict with me. Does he think that loser is better than me? I'm better than him in every aspect except height. That does it, I'm gonna_   _beat the shit out of him later."_ she raved internally. She couldn't remember the last time she felt so angry.

"It was very kind of you to pay us a visit. Did you come to keep Annie company?" he asked. He was honestly quite disappointed. He was very looking forward to spend some quality time with his daughter and make up for the time he prepared her for the Program.

Nevertheless, he also wanted her to have a friend. Even though he wanted her to be as anti social as him in order to avoid betrayals, he had a slight trust in Bertholdt, at least as long as he was a child. He knew how harmless and innocent he was, he doubted he would harm her, in fact, he was more worried if she harmed him. They didn't seem to get along much when he taught them together, but that clearly changed. He wanted her to feel that addictive feeling of camaraderie while she could.

"Y-Yes. But she doesn't want me here. I-I should… leave." he informed in between sobs before turning back and leaving.

Annie initially thought Bertholdt only visited her to numb his own loneliness. She believed his intentions were purely selfish and that he didn't really care for her. Once again, she lost sight of her cruelty and forgot that not every one is secretly plotting against her. She knew Bertholdt wasn't a bad kid. She told herself she would start treating him better, after being so mean to him and she would stand by that. After all, no one who cries like a little bitch all the time can be  _that_  bad, right?

After seeing how hurt he felt because of her, she realized she was unfair. She had to shamefully admit that she succumbed to her emotions, something she personally condemned and deemed 'weak'.

"Wait! Bertholdt, don't go. I want you to stay." she swallowed her pride and reached out for him.

"Really?!" he rejoiced, quickly turning his head toward her. His crying fit came to an abrupt halt. As if nothing ever happened.

"Well, I'll give you some time alone then." Mr. Leonhart informed somewhat downhearted and left the house to practice his skills on the punching bags near their cabin.

"Come on, let's sit. We have to gather our energy before going back to the academy." she put all her effort in forgetting what hurt her and trying to be a more approachable person. They sit on the wooden table where she ate in between her short breaks.

"L-Listen Annie, I'm… I'm so sorry for making you mad earlier. I can't believe I was so insensitive. I bet you want to beat me. Heck, I'd beat me too if I were you." he apologized shamefully, his fingers fidgeting while he looked down.

"Don't be silly. I don't want to beat you." she chuckled, surprised by learning that there are actually people in the world who are willing to take the blame and lose moral ground for the sake of others' wellbeing.

Surely, someone like Bertholdt was rare, right? He was fresh oasis inside a colossal blazing desert. And for some inexplicable reason, she felt the need to preserve that oasis.

" _Well, at least I don't want to beat you_ _ **as**_   _much now."_ she added mentally.

"And you weren't insensitive at all. You were actually very sweet, I just got mad because… because of stupid reasons…" she refused to open her heart. Not even to an innocent wimp like him.

"W-What happened? I-I mean... If you want... of course." he muttered nervously.

"I really don't want to talk about it. It's water under the bridge anyway, so I might as well forget about it." she hummed avoiding eyes contact. The fresh story her father told her still persistently lingering in her mind.

"A-Are you... Sure you don't-"

"Yes. I'm sure." she asserted with a momentarily raised tone.

He nodded awkwardly. Still unable to stop shivering from nervousness and look her in the eyes.

Then, there was uncomfortable silence. It was clear as day that Bertholdt lacked the most basic of social skills, but Annie wasn't much better than him in that regard. Words didn't come out of the boy's mouth so Annie had to break the ice.

"So… I noticed you barely speak when you're around Marcel, Reiner, Porco and Pieck. In fact, you practically only open your mouth when someone talks to you. And yet, you're a lot more extroverted around me. Why?" she honestly didn't care that much about the answer, she just wanted that damn silence to end.

"Well, I spent so much time on my own for so long that I don't really understand how should I act in certain situations. Everyone around me seem like they were born with an instruction manual on how not to act like an embarrassing moron. Marcel is super cool and Reiner is probably one of the only ones who I feel comfortable with. I wish I was like them. And as for you.. well – I know you're going to wrinkle your nose after I say this… but, I actually consider you my friend, even if the feeling isn't mutual… " he whispered longingly. She was amazed by how well he predicted her.

"Don't say that. No one is better than anyone. No one is better than you, Bertholdt. Yes, the ones you mentioned have qualities to them, but they shine because they have something you lack. They have confidence. Why do you think Marcel is the top of the class?" she was almost felt defensive when he insulted himself. "After me of course." she smugly added.

"Uhm… Well, mainly due to the fact that he excels in literally everything he does." he enviously answered.

"Yes, only a fool would deny the talent that guy has. But trust me when I say this, as someone who has observed and examined your skills and limits closely, I assure you your potential is about as almost as good as his. The difference is that he trusts in himself and his not afraid to use his skills to achieve his goals. Case in point Reiner, that kid still has much to learn and yet he's doing fine. This is also because he has an objective in mind and is willing to go to great lengths to achieve them." she tried to get that speech into his thick, unconfident skull. Again.

"I… I don't know… I g-guess deep down I know you're completely right… As usual… but it's like I have this constant voice in my head screaming « _Don't bother doing that, you'll just screw up again like always_ » and « _You're good at pretty much nothing, no wonder no one wants to talk to you_ ». And most of the time, that voice is right." his voice was starting to crack.

"Nonsense." she spat as she turned her eyes. "Stop wallowing in self pity and take advantage of what you can do. If I had your body, I'd have the world at my feet by this point. But with this small female body I'm far more limited, so I have to take advantage of my entire arsenal, and so far, that hasn't failed me. Trust me, what's holding you back is in your head, and you're the only one who can do something about that." she took a more aggressive tone.

"You're right." he mumbled apprehensive.

"That's the attitude you gotta stop. Show some spirit! Do you want to become a titan and help your family or not?" she hissed antipathetically.

"I do!" he said confidently.

"Then stop repeating the same mistakes and grow up!" she yelled angrily.

He started thinking about his faults and how to correct them. His gaze was directed at the floor and his fingers were fidgeting. More awkward silence.

"And… I don't think you're a moron. Especially not an embarrassing one." she admitted.

"Really!?" he gasped and rejoiced.

"Yes. You're a great guy."

That compliment accelerated his breathing just as much as his heartbeat. The blushing he was fighting off since their conversation finally emerged.

"No, I was kidding. You have way too many imperfections to be qualified as a 'great guy'." she confessed emotionlessly.

"Oh…" he softly whimpered. The tears she loathed were threatening surface once more.

"There! That's the attitude you have to drop. Someone as insecure as you will never become a warrior. Warriors are brave and lonely. They do everything perfectly without anyone's advice or support." she exhorted, completely disregarding his feelings. She didn't care if he cried again. She'd rather help someone get up than licking their wounds.

"Annie… thanks for being honest to me. You want to help me improve as a person and for that… I'm grateful." he meekly acknowledged her distinct way of helping. He didn't seem bothered at all by her brutal honesty.

" _Wow! He's not crying? Guess he improved a little."_ she thought surprised.

"Umh… you're welcome." she jabbered quickly and quietly. Almost as if she was ashamed of expressing her kindness.

"But what makes me really happy is the fact that you don't seem sad anymore. Knowing I helped you forget whatever it was that was tormenting you fills me with joy. Guess I'm not as useless as I thought." he giggled proud of himself.

"Right…" she whispered under her breath.

Why did he have to bring that up? Now she was starting remembering everything she worked so hard to suppress.

"I'm sure someone as strong as you will overcome what is making you sad. I have to rely on my parents' support to forget what saddens me. When I'm feeling blue, I wait and wait until mommy arrives home. And then she always says something along the lines of « _Mother is here with you, and I will do anything to protect you, there is nothing to fear. You have a father and a mother who love you, you have everything to be happy._ » Just knowing that I have someone who wants to see me smile, makes me feel better." he warmly imparted.

" _Mother…? Love…? How lucky you are… I do have a vague memory of her. Even as a baby, an image got stuck in my head. Time stained it and blurred it out, but it still hasn't left me. She was – stroking me, I think. I can't help but wonder the amount of affection I missed. What I'd do to bring her back. If I had to kill this kid to bring her back, I'd do it in a heartbeat. Stop it, Annie! You're better than this. You're strong. Warriors don't wallow in pain. You just have to forget. Forget. That's right. Suppressing is always the best thing to do. Only the weak share their pain."_ she struggled internally.

"But of course, after she'd say that, she'd fall asleep, because she always comes home late and tired. And the next morning, I'd wake up alone once again. Yearning for her touch." he almost mewled at the repetitive thought.

Those 2 last sentences did what Annie feared the most. They wormed their way into her heart and touched her caged emotions. Annie hated that. Being emotional is being vulnerable. And being vulnerable means being weak. She hated the very concept of weakness and she would do anything to convince others, and especially herself that every fiber of her being was bathed in strength. However, deep down she knew that there were traces of weakness that could very easily shatter her beautiful, strong illusion.

She wasn't affected because she empathized with the boy, though. Her feelings were originated purely by the fact that he had said what she refused to say out loud.

Her neglected lacrimal glands were functioning for the first time in a long time. No! She had to hide her tears, she would die before she let anyone see them. He might warn her father if he sees her liquid feebleness. She couldn't just block her eyes or walk away, even an idiot like him would see right through her.

In a fit of despair, Annie did something so surreal that not even Bertholdt's childish imagination could fantasize about.

She hugged him.

She hated herself for embracing him, but anything would be better than being seen cry. Never did his body ever felt so disgusting for her.

She was only hugged once in her life, when her father sent her to the academy for the first time. Her arms hanged lifelessly on her sides while he held her forcefully, because the gesture was simply too foreign to understand the affection value attached to it. She remembered feeling uncomfortable and surprised as her father exclusively showed coldness up until that point. But now she felt forced to imitate the loving act.

"A-Annie…" he gasped after he returned the gesture.

"Shut up. If you tell anyone I did this, I swear I will break your skull." she threatened with an animalistic tone.

"B-But… But… A-Annie… It's okay… There is nothing to be ash-"

"Hush. And if I see you cry again without a justifiable reason or cowering away from something I know full well you can do, then I will beat you to a bloody pulp. Understood?" she menaced slightly more loudly. As her tears grew bolder, she tightened the grip of their hug in order to fight them off more easily. However, he naively took this as a sign of increasing affection.

"All right… It's a… It's a deal…" he whispered. He was satisfied and proud of himself for making Annie open up to him. He smiled softly at the idea of growing closer to her.

Tears didn't descend that day. The water drops in Annie's eyes simply watered her eyes, nothing more. She was strong enough to prevent that from happening.

" _What am I feeling? I'm blushing like a tomato, I'm sweating my insides off, my heart is pumping like a machinegun. And I feel… good. It's like reality is melting away and this wonderful person in front of me is the only thing that exists. I think… Is this love?"_ Bertholdt thought ecstatically.

"Come on. Let's train a little with my father. He seems to like you a lot." she hissed after she abruptly ended the hug. She never established eye contact though. There were still some evidence of tears left to destroy.

"O… Ok… O-Ok…" he stuttered incoherently. He wanted to say the short word 'Okay' but he was so nervous that every muscle in his body was trembling.

In a way, she envied his lack of shame in crying. She wished she was just as comfortable in exposing her pathetic weaknesses as he was. But unlike him, she had pride. And she would protect it by any means necessary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I initially wanted to include some Marcel/Porco in here and show what they were up to, but I promised myself I would keep chapters smaller, since they were getting ridiculously large lately. So the Galliards will have to wait until the next chapter, where we'll learn about their backstory ;)
> 
> Anyway, in this chapter we learn a little more about Annie's psyche, which helps her suppress her pain in a not very healthy way, but hey, we all have our coping mechanisms. She considers herself superior to Bert due to her ability to hide her tears and her suffering, but at the end of the day, he will have a healthier mind because he unleashes his frustrations out, no matter how trivial, and deep down she knows it and she envies him for that.
> 
> And her relationship with Bert is also a little developed, I wanna keep this natural and realistic.
> 
> P.S. If you drop a review, I'll give you a cookie. :)


	14. I'm here with you, no need to act tough

" _Do it again! Do it again!" Porco_   _demanded laughing, still adrenalized after being spun around and tossed up in the air by his caring brother, Marcel. They were merely playing together in the woods near their modest home._

" _Nuh-uh! I've been playing this with you for like, 10 minutes, I get tired too, you know? It'd be easier if you weren't such a fatty!" the older brother playfully insulted as an excuse for stopping the tiresome game. Porco_   _wasn't offended, though. He was actually used to offensive jokes, because of Marcel's constant bickering, in fact, he was growing very fond of them._

_Despite not being much older than his toddler little brother, Marcel had a rather-above-average strength and musculature for his tender age, that allowed him to manhandle and playfully carry Porco_   _quite easily._

" _But you're super strong,_   _ **Macel**_ _! You can lift anything! Please, just one more time." he cheerfully argued giggling. He lied. He would demand him to spin him until he got fed up with it, which would probably never happen._

_Porco_   _was still too young to pronounce his brother's name correctly._

" _No! And how are you not dizzy!?" he asked in disbelief. Porco_   _couldn't be human if he didn't get dizzy after being whirled for so long._

" _That's 'cause I'm awesome! Come on! Just one more time. Unless you're not strong, of course." he smugly and unsuccessfully persuaded._

" _I'd love to. But I was planning on investigating something." Marcel grinned mischievously and spoke arrogantly. He had came up with an idea to put an end to his brother's pestering._

" _Huh? What is it?" he questioned curiously. The laughter ceased._

" _Oh, me and my big mouth! Forget I said anything. It's just something that you're too young to see." he dismissed manipulatively._

" _Not true! I can see anything!" he countered tenaciously._

" _Well… I guess you won't be_ _ **too**_   _traumatized. Alright, you can tag along." he falsely gave up. He turned his back and motioned him to follow._

_A few days before, Marcel had seen the certain thing he was about to show Porco. He considered telling him about it then, but ultimately decided against it, as it was probably too much of a morbid sight for a child so young. But now he figured that it would be a good way to shut him up._

_They ventured further into the woods and consequently, farther from their home, but it was still near enough to not get lost. That's when they saw it. The long and lifeless corpse of a snake._

" _That's it!" the older brother announced calmly as he pointed his index finger at the reptilian corpse._

" _Is that… a snake!" the blonde one gasped with his eyes wide open. "Cool!" he was too young to grasp how dark and insensitive he had been. All kids his age were filled with a far larger quantity of impressionability than moral awareness._

" _Right? Wanna_   _poke it with a stick?" he suggested enthusiastically, repeatedly moving his eyebrows._

_Both of them picked up nearby sticks, but Porco_   _was still wary._

" _Hold on, what if it is actually alive and is just playing dead?" he whispered frightened._

" _Don't tell me you're scared?" the eldest teased as he started lightly jabbing the carcass with his twig._

" _I ain't_   _scared of anything!" he youngest protested angrily._

" _Then prove it!" the brunette provoked amused._

" _Fine!" he yelled before prodding the dead body with the stick he was holding. "See? I fear nothing."_

" _So I see… But I bet you're too scared to touch it with your hand." he teased further. Nothing pleased him more than squeezing those sweet, sweet juicy reactions out of his sibling._

" _Umh_ …  _Well…" Porco_   _stuttered. That suddenly lost all the fun, and he was surprisingly feeling like he was disrespecting the poor animal._

" _C'mon! It's already dead, it won't fucking hurt you!" Marcel mocked laughing. He didn't hesitate at all when saying the obscene word. He had never cussed before._

" _You… you said a bad word!" the blonde gasped. Their father made it very clear that vulgar language was unacceptable._

" _So? Dad cusses all the time, so why shouldn't we? If he wants us to speak politely, then he should stop being such a fucking hypocrite. Besides, no one is here with us." he argued smugly._

" _Still. You shouldn't talk like that. It's just wrong." he countered uncomfortably._

" _Oh, poor and naïve Porco. You shouldn't believe everything grown ups teach, you know? They might be lying or just wrong or delusional. In this case, it's the latter. Dad tells us that we shouldn't cuss and then he does the exact same thing. He's a hypocrite. That's an undeniable fact. Are we even harming anyone or anything by cussing? Nope. Then I don't see what's wrong with it. You should really start thinking for yourself. I'd hate to know my brother is another cog in the machine." he preached confidently, with his arms crossed and his head tilted slightly up._

" _Huh! You do have a point…!" Porco_   _scratched his head contemplative. "You're right."_

" _Ooh! Marcel is right again! Shockers!" he sarcastically and pompously bragged._

" _Hehe, you're so cocky!" the blonde giggled._

" _I ain't_   _cocky. I'm aware of reality." Marcel complimented himself further, leaving both of them laughing together for a short while._

" _So, should we bury the snake? I'm starting to feel bad for it." Porco_   _suggested after his laughter ceased._

" _Nah, I'm sure some bird will come and eat it. C'mon, let's head back. When we get home, I'll spin you around again." the brunette playfully ruffled his brother's hair._

_Their way back home wasn't long. Marcel had the idea of making their return more entertaining by playing tag while until they arrived. The 2 brothers ran, jumped and played in the dirt while they chased each other. Marcel was far more athletic than Porco, so he had to hold back in order to let the younger brother enjoy himself. They were having so much fun that they couldn't stop laughing._

_Little did they knew that those were undoubtedly the best times of their lives._

" _Macel, is that… smoke?" Porco_   _asked frightened as he pointed at the gray smoke arising in the distance, in the direction of their home._

" _It is! It's coming from our neighborhood. C'mon, dad might be in trouble. Hurry!" the eldest panicked before sprinting with all his might. Porco_   _could hardly keep up._

_As he approached his tiny house, Marcel saw a large number of angry-looking-men in uniforms violently dragging citizens, throughout the neighborhood, inside some sort of trucks Marcel had never seen before. People were being hauled out of their houses against their will, and even though he only caught a glimpse of the strange and brutal ordeal, it was very obvious for him that the houses that were set on fire were owned by victims who managed to shut off intruders._

_Even a child as young as him was very well aware that Eldians_   _were yet again victims of Marleyans. The reasons for this were unknown, however. Such atrocities only happened when Eldians_   _started rebelling too much._

_What happened?_

_He entered his house through an opened window, in order to avoid unwelcome gazes from the furious crowd._

" _Dad? Dad! Where are you?!" he yelled as his life depended on it as he scanned the house._

" _Marcel! When did you get here?" his father growled when he saw him. "Doesn't matter you have to leave now!" he hollered._

" _Dad what's going on?" Porco, who finally caught up with his brother and entered the window demanded teary eyed._

_Their father was never stressed or worried about anything, he always knew what to do and solved all of his problems with a smile on his face. He was their hero and idol, he was even capable of securing a happy life for his children by farming incessantly and raising cattle, something almost impossible among Eldians. They admired him and tried to be just like him. Seeing the man Marcel looked up to, in such a panic and hearing the despair in his voice, broke his own never-wavering calm._

" _They're almost here! Go away, before they get to you!" the man hollered._

" _Who are_ _ **they**_ _? What's happening?" Porco_   _whined as Marcel tried thinking logically and remain calm._

_They heard someone knocking the door violently._

" _I'll try holding them for as long as I can. Make a run for it through the woods where they won't search. Find a place to hide and I'll come to find you when it's safe" he ordered darkly as he pulled their hands and helped get off the house through the window._

" _No, dad. I don't want to go. Don't leave me!" Porco_   _cried as he embraced his father. Marcel stood paralyzed by shock and indecisiveness._

" _Marcel, take him. Run and never look back." the man bellowed before dashing to the door._

" _C'mon, Porco." Marcel whimpered with a cracking voice. He hesitantly held his crying brother in his arms and sprinted towards the direction from whence he came, he didn't have the courage to look back. He knew such a sight would haunt him for life. Porco_   _on the other hand, was facing the grim scenery, and since the older sibling didn't have time or energy to spare, he didn't bother turning him to the other direction._

_The 2 boys embraced each other forcefully as Marcel reluctantly ran through their dying, burning home. Unlike him, Porco_   _desperately wanted to know how was their father. Fortunately, he couldn't see anything past the tiny window._

_They retreated into the woods, whose scents and imagery were once the embodiment of all the happy memories where they played together, completely devoid or worries or unhappiness. But from that moment onward, the vegetative landscape was merely a grim reminder of their powerlessness._

_They hid inside a large accumulation of bushes where they would only be detected if someone inspected the vegetation closely._

_As they laid on the moist earthy surface, covered by leaves, Marcel pressed Porco's_   _mouth vigorously in order to silence his frequent whimpers and sobs, otherwise he would deliberately cry out loud. They had to be as quiet as humanly possible if they wanted to remain undetected. The brunette was too shocked to cry, however. Reality still hadn't hit him. He simply maintained a worried expression as he adjusted his hearing to the maximum, trying detect the faintest of sounds._

_Eventually, Porco_   _couldn't handle the emotional strain and fell asleep. While he rested from mental exhaustion, Marcel was forced to listen to the screams, wails, and screeches of his kin gradually fading in the distance until it grew eerily quiet. The cries of pain and anguish withered away, and the crackling of blazes dwindled into hisses of angry embers. Then, the only noises he perceived originated from stealthy wildlife, the ghostly wind that he once considered soothing, and his own heartbeat, that hadn't slowed down in the slightest since he saw the smoke._

_The horrific sounds faded but their father didn't come as he said he would. The moon rose and fell but their father didn't come. The sun ascended to the smoky, smog-filled sky but their father didn't come. The Marleyan_   _monsters that had followed them into the woods wandered around the bushes but their father didn't come. Marcel and Porco_   _looked for him persistently but he never came._

 

* * *

 

" _How the hell did someone broke into our bakery and stole so much?" the old Marleyan_   _baker demanded infuriated as she glanced at her bakery for the first time that day, which had an unusual absence of the fruits of her labour. The sun had just ascended and the day was already ruined._

" _Fuck! Someone must have bust in at night. There's nothing broken, so the culprit must have picked the lock." an upset employee theorized._

" _Picked the lock...? I'm gonna_   _fucking kill someone." the wrathful gray-haired baker picked up a kitchen cleaver and stormed out, hoping to find whoever devastated her business and devastate their bones._

_There was no doubt the lock was picked. There was only 1 key, and it hadn't left her pocket all night._

" _Where are you going? Surely, they must have escaped by now!" the employee screamed in the distance, only to be ignored._

_The old woman was fuming. The chances of finding the offender were slim, but she didn't care. As long as those chances were higher than 0%, she would hunt for blood._

_She bolted in the direction of the adjacent street when she heard the sound of rustling plastic in an alley. She figured that dark narrow dead end was a good hiding place, so she decided to inspect it further._

_Other than walls and rats, there was only a large trash can in the alley. She opened it and observed it was completely filled with rotten food, there was no way someone was hidden in there. The only other place capable of concealing one's frame was the spot behind the garbage container._

_The sounds stopped when she silently approached the trash can, but she knew someone was hiding behind it. Her worn out eyes turned into slits as she gripped the cleaver harder. She raised the merciless arm that held the weapon, and when she glanced at the suspicious location she saw..._

_A young little boy. He was very clearly malnourished. He looked appallingly thin and limbs appeared as skin and bone. No muscle or fat mass whatsoever, instead there was only putrid stench emanating from him. His shrivelled body was covered in wrinkled and filthy skin and his eyes had shockingly dark circles under them, as if he hadn't slept in 3 days._

_These same trembling-wide open eyes conveyed the purest form of dread she had ever seen, but at the same time he almost looked as though he was ready to die at any moment. He was backed into the corner formed between the trash can and a wall, merely eyeing the human threat before him, frozen by fear._

_The old Marleyan's_   _fury was suddenly... quelled. As she observed the gaunt child, her features softened and her threatening arm lowered. Only a monster wouldn't feel pity for that boy._

_That's when she noticed something behind him. Or_ _ **someone**_ _. There was another, evidently younger boy hiding behind him, he was shivering in a fetal_   _position, as if it would protect him from any menace._

" _Uhm... Hello there! Can you tell me your name?" the baker softly asked as least frighteningly as possible._

_Silence. Neither boy moved a muscle. Well, they practically had no muscles but still..._

" _It's okay. I want to help you. I'm Bithiah. You must be hungry, I can help you with that." she smiled friendlily._

_No answer. That's when she realized that the cleaver might had been scaring them._

" _Oh, let me get rid of this thing." she chuckled nervously and threw the kitchen cleaver far away. "There, there's nothing to fear. You 2 are... Eldians, right?" she questioned meekly. There was no way they were Marleyan, otherwise they wouldn't be starving. An Eldian_   _would be cooked and fed to a Marleyan_   _before they would starve. "That's okay, I promise I will help you!" she rejoiced._

_The boy on the front became less suspicious. His worried expression softened, as he helped his dangerously feeble companion standing up. Once the woman had a better look on the shorter, younger boy, she noticed that even though he was obviously malnourished as well, he was clearly in a much better state than the other boy. Undoubtedly, that one had eaten far more than the boy she had found first, granting him a far healthier aspect._

_In fact, when she inspected him closer, she noticed there were bread crumbs around his mouth and all over his ripped clothes. The woman could only conclude that he had ingested a high amount of bread quickly._

" _Did you... Did you rob that bakery near here?" she inquired sweetly._

_The taller one shook his head horizontally, silently saying 'no'. His frightened expression returned. And despite being obviously lying, Bithiah_   _found it in her heart to forgive._

" _Well... Think nothing of it. Come, I'll see that you're properly fed." she calmly soothed, offering a guiding hand, in case they lacked the strength to walk. She wouldn't mind carrying them if they couldn't._

_Both boys looked at each other sceptically, wondering if they could trust her. They were evidently victims of abuse of some sort and consequently had deep trust issues. They could only confide and rely on each other. But a tempting food offering was hard to resist..._

* * *

" _Go ahead, Marcel. It's all yours." Bithiah_   _generously offered a plate with of several slices of fresh bread with butter, cheese and ham decorating it. It was one of the most complex dishes Marcel had ever seen but he was still reluctant._

" _N-No. I get sick when I eat." he mumbled irritated as he pushed the plate forward and crossed his arms._

" _That's normal. When someone goes too long without eating, their stomach gets lazy, so when they finally eat they might vomit. But no worries, you just have to eat some tiny bites. You 2 are here since almost a week now. I'm sure your stomach isn't_ _ **as**_   _lazy now." she informed sympathetically._

" _Just... eat... Do it for me." Porco_   _pleaded dispirited, his gaze didn't even left the floor._

" _Grr... Fine." the brunette boy growled and yielded. He took a deep breath and hesitantly ate a miniscule bite and swallowed it after munching during a long period of time._

_Gaining the boys' trust proved extremely difficult. They had their own prejudices to overcome before that happened, but in the end, Bithiah_   _managed to mend their hearts just enough to quell their urge to strangle every Marleyan_   _they saw._

 

* * *

 

"Where do you think you're going?" Marcel questioned fiercely when he noticed his brother was sneaking away at night.

"Well shit! I thought you were smart! I'm gonna look for that dad, what the fuck else do you think I was up too?!" the blonde countered rudely. He is usually more disrespectful in his conversations, but Marcel demanded more respect.

"Don't you... Don't you think it's time to give up?" he sighed as he rubbed his temples. He already knew a heated discussion was about to break out. "We've searched and searched and searched for years now, and  _nothing_! We might as well abandon hope..."

"Are you fucking kidding me!" he roared, shooting fire out of his nostrils. "You're the one who kept bitching and insisting we'd go search for him throughout the entire fucking Liberio, and now you're pussying out? You were always accusing dad of being a fucking hypocrite, but you're the shitty ass one."

"Stop. Cussing." his eyes turned into slits as he warned ferociously. "Porco, you have to listen to reason! Bithiah has gotten out of her way to track down dad multiple times and she managed to find him, but we just can't see him or talk to him. You know better than anyone that I fought with tooth and nail to be able to see him, but we just can't. Get that into that thick skull." he argued more calmly.

It was true. It broke Bithiah's heart to see the two boys desperately yearning for their father's presence, so she decided to take time out of her busy schedule to track him down. Fortunately, she found out that their father was alive. And it was actually quite easy. She wished she could have returned home that day and said 'Good news! Your father is alive and well!', but the last part was a complete lie.

Normally, when Eldians are snatched out of their houses, it means that they are to be turned into mindless titans in order to aid Marley in their violent conquests, but sometimes they take a more merciful, yet sadistic turn of events for the unfortunate souls and force them into free labour.

In their father's case, it was the latter. Apparently, their neighbourhood was raided because a new food industry building was constructed, with the purpose of producing larger quantities of food for the growing Marleyan population. Their father was now basically a slave in there. He worked non-stop, just like before, but now he didn't have his sons with him to brighten his day. He even slept in the building and was forbidden to leave it indefinitely, most likely until he dies.

"No, fuck you!" he screamed as he shot the middle finger at him. "I'm not a fucking pussy like you, I ain't giving up on dad! Don't wanna come? Good! Go take a shit or something while I try to find a way to talk to him!"

"I said, stop cussing!" Marcel's temper flared as he forcefully seized Porco's wrist, halting his advances. "You're not going anywhere!"

"Or what? You're gonna hit me? And what would that achieve? We both know I ain't giving up on dad!" Porco challenged furiously.

He was right. Marcel had beaten Porco enough times to realize that he didn't respond to physical punishments. He tried a gentler, more communicative and more empathetic approach as well, but that didn't seem effective either. He didn't know what he did wrong for his younger brother turn out so... rebellious. No matter how much effort he put into raising Porco, his attempts had always proved futile. He was just too young to be a father...

"Damn it, Porco! Just listen to me!" he pleaded with a cracking voice, almost crying. "I did everything for you. Everything. I did things I'm not proud of... but I would do them exactly the same if went back in time! Know why? Because I did them for you. And for me. So please, just do what I tell you! Stop chasing after dad! He's not coming back!" he shouted desperately.

"Let me go!" Porco growled as he tried to break free from Marcel's strong grip. "I never asked you to do those things to me! But do you want me to thank you? Is that what you want? Thank you  _so_  fucking much, Marcel!" he screamed sarcastically. "But I'm really fucking sorry to tell you that just because you were nice to me, that doesn't mean you're entitled to order me around. I do whatever the fuck I want!"

"Porco..." he sighed deeply to calm himself. "While you did nothing but cry for dad, I scavenged through trash, bushes and goodness knows what else to make sure you ate everything edible I found. I barely kept a tenth of the resources that  _ **I**_ gathered. Every time it rained, I put myself on top of you so you didn't get wet and get sick. While I had to sleep on solid rock, you got to sleep comfortably on  _ **me**_. Do you have any idea how hard it is to fall asleep on dirty floors with someone weeping for dad literally on top of you? Fortunately you don't! Better yet, do you have any idea how difficult it was to pick a lock when I was sleep deprived and on the verge of starving to death, just so  _ **you**_  could go one more day with food?!" Marcel spat.

Porco sighed and fought his own tears. "And you know what? I love you for that... If it weren't for you, I'd be dead. I'm sorry that I was such a useless burden. And I'm sorry for bitching and moaning and reminding you of dad all the time when you were trying to focus. And above all, I'm sorry that I can't forsake him. But whether you like it or not, I'll follow him through hell and back."

"Damn it, Porco! I know best! So if I tell that this is a wild goose chase, then you should just stop and stay here with me! Why won't you listen to me?! Tell me, what did I do wrong for you to turn out like... like..." he was struggling to find a word that would describe his sickening stubbornness and rebelliousness without hurting his feelings.

"Like fucking what?!" he yelled.

"Like that! I genuinely don't understand what I did wrong. I did everything in my power to make sure you grew up happy... Well, or at least happier than me... Tell me, was I too hard on you? Was I too soft on you?" he roared as he pulled him in by his wrist.

"I guess you're not as perfect as you think you are then." the blonde hissed bitterly.

"What?!"

"Oh, now I see why you're so discomposed." Porco laughed darkly. "You're so used to being Mr. Perfect that when you see that not everything you put your effort on turns out flawless, you start panicking, right?"

"Don't be ridiculous! Are you really just throwing a tantrum because you're jealous of me?" the brunette rolled in eyes in exasperation.

"How am I not supposed to be jealous of you? You're like God's fucking gift to the world, while I'm that shitty ass sad loser who always pails in comparison! But I'll prove you wrong this time! When I meet dad, I'll prove to anyone that I'm better than you in at least something! I'll prove to you all that unlike you, I don't quit on the ones I love!" Porco screamed with a cracking voice.

That hit Marcel so hard, that he was unable to hold back a gasp. It was only then that he realized that love wasn't the only thing that pushed Porco. Despair was also driving him further. The despair of leaving Marcel's shadow. The despair of being able to truthfully tell himself that he isn't worthless. The despair to believe that his death would have meaning.

"Porco... You're the person I love the most in this world. I won't allow anyone to badmouth you, not even yourself! You're wonderful. And I know without a shadow of doubt that you're better than that foul, cussing character that you're always playing." he whispered dispirited.

Silence. Porco's lips started shivering and tears were emerging.

"I admire your hope. But hope is a force that drives you to see the light, no matter dim, when you're surrounded by darkness. But this time, there is no light, Porco. Not even one tiny flicker. No matter how hard you look, you won't see anything besides the blackest of darkness. That means being hopeful is simply... delusional. Dad's gone. The sooner you come to terms with that, the better. That's why we both joined the Titan academy, if we succeed, we'll gain honorary Marleyan status, along with dad! If we succeed, they'll set him free... And we'll be together again, we'll be untouchable." the eldest boy enthused, grinning widely.

"I don't know why I bothered going with you. With your talent, I wouldn't be surprised if you inherited all 6 Titans." the youngest muttered feebly.

"You said you didn't want me to leave you alone, remember? And I don't think I'll be able to make it without you there by my side." Marcel raised brother's spirits as he dried his tears.

Silence.

"Don't go, Porco. Stay by my side. Tomorrow we'll have to go back to the academy, and I'd hate to spend my fortnightly day off without you." the brunette whispered soothingly.

"Fine... I guess at one point I had to stop bullshitting myself and give up on chasing wild gooses. Let's just focus on getting one of those damned titans." the blonde's gaze finally left the floor and proudly aimed at the person he envied the most.

"Good. Come, Bithiah must be getting worried about us." Marcel finally let go of his sibling's wrist.

"You know, I sure hope she didn't take us in just so we'd feel tempted to join the academy and help her out." Porco mused sceptically.

"We already had this conversation. Not all Marleyans are bad." he sighed annoyed.

"Not all 'Marloosers' are bad. But all 'Marloosers' can get you killed if you talk shit... Oops, I'm sorry, I mean tell truths about them." he mumbled frustrated. "You know full well what they did to us."

"I understand how you feel, but you can't... say those things." he murmured as he scanned cautiously for anyone who might have listened to them.

"You know, before...  _he_ was taken away from us, you said that I should think for myself and that you'd hate it if I became just another cog in the machine, If you're so scared of the undeniable, evident fucking truth, then that kinda means you're becoming a fucking cog in the fucking, oppressive machine." Porco's temper flared again.

"No one can stand up to this machine and you know it! Now shut up about that!" he ordered angrily. Just when he thought the storm was calming down, Porco always found a way to upset him. Couldn't he understand that keeping quiet meant he was helping him?

"No, you shut the fuck up!" he countered furious.

"I told you to stop cussing!"

"Fuck. You!" these words sounded awfully similar to the way their father spoke when he was angry. The intonation, the emotion, everything sounded exactly the same, except for the much higher pitch.

The pieces of the puzzle were fitting perfectly. The planets aligned in Marcel's mind. He experienced a sudden and striking realization. He was having an epiphany.

"Hold on... I get it now... The reason why you cuss all the time. Dad did all the time... Is that... Is that your way of... Keeping him alive?" Marcel questioned perplexed.

"Huh?"

"It is, isn't it? You refused to do it before, even when I encouraged you, but now your mouth is as filthy as a sewer system. It's your own personal way of remembering him, right? Of not letting him go..." he masterfully theorized.

Porco had never thought about it. But he had to admit that his brother was completely correct. It was a strategy formed by his subconscious to cope.

"And your snarky personality... You act like that because you desperately want to convince yourself that you don't care that others like me more than you, in your own mind of course. I have my own way of coping too, you know? You're not alone. Dad sacrificed himself for others all the time, so I incorporated that trace in me as a tribute to him." the storm was finally quelling. For good this time.

Porco just stood there paralysed. He didn't know what to say or do. Thoughts were rushing through his mind.

He didn't really like himself, but not only because he was unhealthily envious of Marcel. Just like the latter had said, he was playing a role that didn't really define how he truly was. He was getting tired of not being true to himself. Perhaps it was time to grow up and change. He had people who loved him. He had people who would support the real person he saw when he looked in the mirror.

As if Marcel had read his mind, he did what he needed, and deep down wanted. He gently embraced him.

"There, there. No need to act tough anymore. You're here with me. Safe and sound. No one can hurt you now. I'll die before that happens." the caring brother gently caressed his back and hair calmingly.

The younger brother proceeded to release the flood gates in his eyes and sob in his chest. He wanted to change for his brother. It's the least he could do after all he did for him.

While the turmoil in their twisted world proceeded to rage on, they spent their last day away from the hellish academy together in each other's soothing embrace. That day, nothing else mattered. They could be 2 normal boys for once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyway, I wanted to give Marcel and Porco some background and room for growth, as I want to focus on not only the Titan trio, but also the Galliards and Pieck in this story.
> 
> Speaking of the Galliards, the woman who took them in, Bithiah, is a reference to the Egyptian merciful princess who took in Moses as her own son. The name is the same. Bithiah was the daughter of the Pharaoh, meaning that she had godlike status in her culture, and yet she took pity of Moses, who was of an inferior race. I thought the parallels with the history of oppression between Eldia and Marley would fit so I named her after her.
> 
> This was also a way to ilustrate how not all Marleyans are heartless monters.
> 
> Since you waited such a long time for this chapter, I feel like I have to reward you accordingly. That's why I decided to give not one, not 2, but 3 cookies to whoever drops a review. Oh, and I have gluten-free cokies too, if you want.


	15. You can't logic your way through emotion

Even though the competitors in the Titan academy are subjected to extreme physical and psychological strain, their instructors are kind enough to prevent their underdeveloped minds to be pushed to insanity by allowing them to pay a revitalizing visit to their families and homes one day every two weeks.

Reiner spent his day with his family. His mother was especially clingy, though. He believed that this was a natural reaction for someone who sent their young son off to some hellish training, but in actuality, Karina seemed a little more interested in pressuring him to further impress his higher ups by any means necessary.

Bertholdt had wanted to write «I miss you» on a rock and throw it at his parents' face so they'd know how much it hurt to miss them, and then apologise for hurting them and hug them all day. Sadly for him, his parents were too busy to spend the entire day with him, only just enough to make him feel reinvigorated. But on the bright side, he got to pass some time with a particularly gloomy Annie. And the best part for him was that he seemed to have lifted her spirits a little.

Annie, on the other hand, hadn't such a pleasant day off. After years of pleading, her father finally unburied the truth regarding her mother. Annie was taught since birth to value the cold, hard truthfulness above all else, especially those irksome futilities people call 'feelings'. But she was having a hard time convincing herself that she remained unwavered upon learning the truth she valued so much. She'd never admit it, though. She'd rather further suppress her already subdued emotions than tainting her inflated pride.

Pieck was holding her hope for dear life when she went to visit her father's clinic. When rainwater penetrated her dorm's ceiling, she had opened up about her dire situation back home to Annie. When she voiced her concern about the future of her father's clinic, it was one of the rare occasions where she hoped she wasn't completely right as usual. Not even her beloved parent managed to appease her distress, which in turn further motivated Pieck to succeed in the Program, so she can save her family.

As for Porco and Marcel... Well, those 2 rekindled their long lost affectionate relationship in each other's company. Aside from their much needed heated fight, nothing was on their mind on their day off, except each other.

 

* * *

 

Shortly after dawn, the military trucks that transported the young cadets brought them back to hell.

Their day off had ended. They had to face their brutal fate head on.

When a grumpy Reiner left the truck that carried him, he was seriously considering making a run for it when no one was looking so he could escape his harsh, inevitable reality for just one more day. He didn't care if his mom would scold him for being selfish, he just wanted to be in her loving arms a little while longer.

Thankfully, he saw something that motivated him a little.

"Hey, Bertholdt! How have you been?" he babbled cheerfully, contrasting with the ill-humoured children who unwillingly marched in the direction of the academy. Reiner ran at the direction of his brunette friend and embraced him.

"Oh... Hello, Reiner! I've been okay..." he muttered feebly with a weak but genuine smile. The unexpected hug took him off guard, but he warmly returned the loving gesture. A memory of another blonde cadet hugging him suddenly intruded his mind. Just thinking about that surreal memory gave him warm fuzzies.

He was deeply moved to see that someone reacted so positively to his presence. It was crystal clear that Reiner possessed a childish naivety that allowed him to befriend anything and anyone, including a loser like him, but he didn't care. No matter how deluded Reiner was, he was his friend and therefore, he would treasure him like life itself. Because, just like life, he only had one true friend...

"Gosh! I'm really not looking forward for 2 more infernal weeks..." the blonde chuckled nervously. "But, well... I guess not everything in here is bad." he placed a friendly hand on the taller boy's shoulder.

Bertholdt's eyes lit up. "Th-thanks...! It's... It's great seeing you too!"

"Hehe – In any case, we should go inside before they get mad at us. But we'll do some catching up in the dorm tonight, just like we used to." he rejoiced as they walked side by side toward the menacing building.

"Yup! I can't wait for that! Something happened yesterday that I really want to get out of my chest." Bertholdt announced excitedly, like a teenage girl dying to gossip privately.

"If you're that excited, then it must be something awesome! Pray tell" he pleaded energetically.

"It's a looooooong story, I'll tell you everything at the dorm tonight. But I can tell you it has to do with Annie." he giggled nervously.

"Nice!" he complimented as he patted his friend's back. "Hey, isn't that her over there!" he loudly exclaimed as he blatantly pointed to a blonde girl who happened to be 3 meters away from them.

At that moment, Bertholdt wanted to dig a hole and hide in it. His overwhelming embarrassment manifested in the form of gushing sweat and blazing cheeks. He didn't notice she was so close. Had she overheard them? Even if she hadn't, there was no way she didn't hear what Reiner had just said. Surely, she deduced they were talking about her.

"N-No... W-Wait... Y-You... You shou... Uhm... I-I ugh... Uhm..." the taller boy stuttered and quavered uncontrollably as he tried to calm his frantic heart down.

"What's wrong?!" Reiner laughed at the other's embarrassing reaction. The grumpy children who surrounded them couldn't help casting disdainful looks at his positive attitude, that they envied so. "C'mon, let's meet up with her." he casually suggested as he walked towards her. The other boy didn't follow suit, as his heart would pierce out of his chest if he went anywhere near her.

" 'Sup, Annie." he calmly greeted with his palms behind his nape.

"Oh... Hello, Reiner..." she feebly muttered without changing her blank expression, after turning her eyes but not her head toward the one who addressed her.

Normally, she'd sneer and dismiss him coldly, but for some reason she seemed more melancholic than unfriendly. She was not one to succumb to their instructors' mental tricks, the Annie he knew would remain her usual cold self throughout the most dire of situations, so she couldn't possibly be grumpy because of her return.

"Whatever it was that happened to her, it must have hit her hard." he thought.

Annie was more than familiar with any kind of bodily adversity, her father made sure her organism would be prepared for the harshest of exertions and the severest of famine. But her sorrow tolerance wasn't something he cultivated so thoroughly... No matter. She would overcome it. She always overcame everything. She wouldn't forgive herself if she wasn't able to withstand her anguish. She wouldn't forgive herself if she succumbed to the irrational futilities people call 'feelings', that she reprehended so disdainfully.

"You okay, Annie? You don't seem well." he casually asked.

"Reiner, I would appreciate it if you left me alone. I'm really not feeling well at the moment. I hope you understand." she sighed vacantly as she faced the fateful academy's door courageously.

" 'Kay!" he cheerfully babbled before turning back and rejoining Bertholdt.

" I'm back. She said she wanted to be left alone and that she wasn't feeling well." he informed joyfully. He didn't seem worried in the slightest about her.

Karina made sure to persuade him to solely establish bonds that would prove beneficial for his achievements, nothing else. However, he also wanted to get along with everyone and have friends like every other kid his age. But Annie has never been friendly in the slightest toward him, so he was having a hard time trying to care about her. He only tried because Bertholdt seemed to like her, for some reason he failed to grasp.

"R-Really? She was clearly sad yesterday, but... I thought... I thought I had cheered her up a little... Guess I was wrong..." he lamented himself. He was even more useless than he had imagined. He thought he was at least capable of lifting a friend's spirits.

" _Don't think like that, Bertholdt! Don't forget that she doesn't want you to be so... passive. If you act like a loser, then she'll be even more sad._ " he reprehended himself mentally.

"Oh, and she also said that she's sick of you and that you stink." Reiner added playfully.

"Wh-Wh... What..." he shrieked involuntarily as the other boy's words pierced his blood pumping organ.

"Relax! I was just kidding." Reiner laughed as he soothingly stroked Bertholdt's arm. "And if it makes you feel any better, I bet you're the one she dislikes the least in here."

"Thank goodness..." he sighed in relief.

"Don't you 2 usually share your truck? 'Cause you live nearby? Why didn't she wait for you?"

"Well-" the brunette struggled to formulate an explanation of what exactly had happened, only to be suddenly interrupted.

"Hey there!" Porco intentionally surprise-scared them from behind. He was uncharacteristically smiling widely and acting nice. That was not the Porco they knew.

"How are you my 2 favourite fellows doing?" Marcel questioned brightly as he gently ruffled the hair of the 2 boys he had just met up with.

"Honestly, I'd rather stay at home... but... you gotta do what you gotta do..." Reiner started stuttering anxiously as he approached the door to the academy. If Karina was there, she'd be yelling at his cowardice.

"Scared? Seriously, relax. We left this place just fine before, you can bet we'll leave this place just fine again." Marcel nonchalantly tranquilized the 3 boys.

Reiner, Bertholdt and Porco reluctantly followed a carefree Marcel inside the building. They could swear they would be yelled at the second they set foot in there by an angry instructor who'd beat them for the stupidest of reasons. But relief washed over them when they saw their mates in the process of forming a line, while their higher ups waited for more trucks to arrive.

Yellings and beatings didn't happen... Yet.

Some of the cadets were whispering quietly to each other, which didn't seem to bother the sergeants, so they decided to the same in order to calm their nerves. Porco happened to glance at a random spot in the line where Pieck resided. She wasn't talking to anyone, all she was doing was staring at the void, so he was kind enough to suggest his little group to keep her company.

"Hey, Pieck. Coming back here sure sucks, am I right?" Porco quietly started a conversation with painful joke.

"Indeed. Despite my attempts of maintaining a positive outlook, it looks as though my hopefulness and aspirations are preordained to be ruptured." Pieck answered with a vexed smile.

"S-Sounds like... you hadn't a good day off..." Bertholdt tried inciting Pieck to vent off her frustrations. Reiner was the only he felt truly comfortable with, so he wanted to boost his bonds with the others.

"I can vouch for the veracity of your speculation." she confirmed with the expression of someone who is trying convince themselves that they are fine, when in reality, their will is hanging by a shred.

"Wanna talk about it, bud? You'll feel better." Marcel asked with a voice deepened by genuine worry for a mate.

"Perhaps on another time. We might upset our instructors if we talk excessively." she dismissed, glad to see that there are people who worry about her.

"Don't worry about that. I've learned that we shouldn't bottle up things inside. If you need to get something out of your chest, then do it to someone you trust, or else it'll eat you inside." Porco advised softly, shifting his affectionate gaze from Pieck to Marcel for a couple seconds. The latter grinned sweetly when he did.

"Oh? It looks as though you had quite the change of heart in a rather short time span. I am delighted to know that your relationship with your brother has rekindled so." she whispered genuinely happy to know that at least someone had a more pleasant day than her.

Both brothers' eyelids shot up and their jaws fell at her uncanny astuteness.

"Well, alright you win. They closed the doors already. That means everyone is here. But don't think you escaped, young lady! The second we have time, you'll tell us everything that's upsetting you!" Reiner scolded the stubborn girl when as the passengers of the final truck arrived.

The line the cadets formed was complete and the headmaster began describing their merciless welcome training.

 

* * *

 

Their training revolved around the use of fire weapons. The basics of handling riffles and sniper riffles were severely crammed inside their little heads in mere hours. More in-depth instructions were to be explored in a posterior part of their training regime, along with the mastering of a wider variety of guns.

The morning was the most merciful part of the day. It mostly consisted in firing at shooting targets, from different distances, angles and environments.

That's when one of Bertholdt's wishes came true. Despite the horrible circumstances, he was delighted to see that he proved himself to be a source of joy for his mates, which in turn filled him with joy as well. The other children had flocked around him, amazed by his superior skill in marksmanship and sought his advice.

Earlier that day when he was conversing with Reiner, he had told himself that he wasn't useless. He didn't quite believed such a crystal clear lie, however. He had told himself that same deceit countless times before, but it was more than obvious that he had never truly bought it. Otherwise, Annie wouldn't be disappointed in him.

But as he watched the fire of admiration and hope burning bright in the eyes his fellow cadets' eyes, he was convinced that he had meaning. He was convinced that he was good at something. Only then did he completely understand how valuable was the training he undertook from his father. Thanks to him, he was one step closer to a Titan power, to the key for his family's well being.

The others were desperately asking for pointers on how to wield the complicated objects so skilfully as he was, but Reiner was particularly clinging to him, as he was facing far more difficulties than all of his peers.

Strangely, Porco wasn't with Marcel trying to re-enact exactly his brother's masterpiece as usual. Instead, he was actually learning the techniques by himself and develop his expertise with his own personal touch, after receiving Bertholdt's guidance.

Pieck didn't ask for help directly. She was concentrated, observing Bertholdt's performance, as well as her most proficient mates from afar and perfectly copying their rendition. She quickly learned their moves.

Marcel unsurprisingly mastered what his instructors demanded in no time, with no help whatsoever.

And Annie was doing just fine herself. She had trained marksmanship with Bertholdt after all, in exchange for training him in combat, though it was clear her skills were slightly rusty in comparison from the last time they practiced together, she still performed well without aid.

"Thanks, Bert! I think I got the hang of it." Porco acknowledged after he almost shot the centre of a nearby shooting target.

"Hehe – No problem." Bertholdt rejoiced uncharacteristically proudly. "I'm glad to help my... my uh-" normally, he'd never say what he said next, but he was feeling so confident that he decided it was worth risking. "-help my friends!"

"That's very nice of you. And gosh! You must have been taught really well! You're a total pro!" Reiner complimented sincerely, though if Karina heard that, she would assume he was only manipulating him. "Sorry to bother you, but... Do you mind helping me again? I'm really not getting this..."

"Again? Reiner, I thoroughly explained the basics 3 times already! Were you not paying attention?" Bertholdt immediately regretted raising his voice, he feared he might have lost a friend.

"I'm sorry... I just... Don't get this..." Reiner moaned disheartened.

"Sucks to be you! If only you had a third of my skills, you'd be an expert by now!" Porco laughed at the desperate boy and pointed an insulting finger at him. "Just kidding. Try a little harder, you'll learn eventually. Unless you're retarded of course, but that's clearly not the case."

"Easier said than done..." he gloomily muttered.

"Hey, it's fine. Don't worry. I'll help as many times as you need." the taller boy soothed with a sigh. "You're probably a late bloomer, just like me. Seriously, ask Annie and my dad. They'll tell you I take ages to learn something." he joked about himself in order to distract Reiner's negativity.

"Thanks! Really, thanks a lot, Bert! That means a lot to me!"

"Just focus. This is not hard." Porco casually intervened as he fired.

"That is precisely the source of my concerns." Pieck, who appeared out of nowhere, calmly remarked.

"Where the hell did you come from?!" Porco asked perplexed after the 3 boys gasped at her sudden appearance. The girl had made no sound that signalled her presence.

"That does not matter. If I were you, I would be more worried about what we are to do later this day." she answered.

"W-What... do you mean? Bertholdt questioned frightened.

"Do you not agree that this is... far too easy? With the exception of Reiner, who is still struggling with the basics, everyone else seems to have developed a decent amount of proficiency. It is quite uncharacteristic of our higher ups to make our lives this easy. Yes... I have no doubt that our limits will be pushed to the brink, most likely after lunch, when we replenish our energies." she theorized while holding her chin with her index finger and thumb.

 

* * *

 

"Alright, maggots! Now that you useless pieces of shit have finished eating the valuable resources of the great country of Marley, we can now move along to the best part this day's training. Thought we went easy on you just because this is your first day after vacation? Well, think again! You're going to turn into full fledged snipers, and in order to do that, you'll dress up in your camouflage suits, known as ghillie suits, soaking in a giant pond of stagnant water and rotting vegetation. And once you're all nice and wet, you then get to roll around in the dirt, over and over again. All of this is necessary to season the ghillie suits, it'll make you feel used to hiding and also acts as a great psychological training for you future snipers." sergeant Drake barked his rigid orders after a short lunch break.

"Oh yeah! Father mentioned patience and hiding skills were vital for sharpshooters. If he never stimulated these in me, then they must be really hard to boost!" Bertholdt thought to himself. Nearly shedding a tear at the thought of his father.

"And after that... Well, you'll see when the time comes." Drake grinned mischievously.

 

* * *

 

The competitors for the Titan powers were wearing their camouflage suits, or 'ghillie suits' as Drake called it, but they failed to understand how said uniforms would conceal their frame inside lagoons like the ones they were swimming in.

The water's filth dyed it basil green and there was a thin, bright-green algae layer covering most of the surface, where multiple gerridaes and flies could be seen moving around. But apparently, that was not enough. They were still ordered to hang some plants, wood or algae above their heads in order to further disguise them.

"Taking into account the odd colour of the water, the stench and the surrounding wildlife, I am left with no room for doubt that the bacterial activity in this pond is dangerously high. Whatever you do, do not let the water touch your eyes, nose, mouth or ears. Unless you want to contract diseases, that is." Pieck warned her mates as she swam away from them, in search for different species of gerridae.

"Holy sh... cow!" Porco grumbled and hesitated before pronouncing a certain vulgar word. He decided to replace it with a softer one, something that the old Porco would never do. "This place reeks worse than my rear end on that time I had explosive diarrhea, remember Marcel?"

Everyone who had heard him winced. But they had to admit he was right. That putrid water smelled like... the word Porco almost said.

"Thanks for reminding me that, bro. The mental scent you sent me actually makes this smell better in comparison." Marcel jokingly lied in order to liven up his mates. And it worked.

"Totally! Why do we have to do this stuff, though? If they want us to learn how to wield guns, why don't we just practice with them?" Reiner complained as he blocked the entrance of air from his nose with his fingers.

"W-Well... I think I know the answer for that... When my father came back with the animals he had hunted, he always told me he only managed to hunt them because he was patient and stealthy. And when I'd grow up as a sniper, I'd need to be patient and stealthy too." Bertholdt feebly answered. Nauseated at the thought of the bloody, dead animals his father brought when he was hungry.

"And why's that?" Reiner questioned when he failed to understand the simple logic.

"Uhm... Well... I'm not really sure..." the taller boy responded contemplative as well. He had never really put much thought about the veracity in his father's claims.

"Isn't it obvious? If your objective is to kill something or someone from far away, then I think it's evident that your plan would be ruined if your target knew where you were. Not to mention that you need to wait until they come out." Annie explained annoyed, completely fine with explaining gruesome topics. "This is not rocket science, it's simple logic. I mean, I'm not surprised Reiner didn't get it. But you, Bertholdt, you should be aware of things like this."

"I-I... Uh... W-Well..." Bertholdt stuttered nervously as Reiner scowled at the girl who offended him. Why was she being so mean to him? Did he do something wrong? They seemed to be in... extremely good terms the day before (in Annie's standards at least).

"Haven't you ever thought about this? Can you actually think for yourself for once." she hissed, causing him to flinch speechless.

"Annie, that's enough! We're here to help each other out. Not bully each other away from success." Marcel intervened sternly.

"Yeah! What's your problem?! Go take a chill pill!" Porco criticised her as well.

"I'm only teaching them important things that they were ignorant about! How was what I did bad?!" her social skills were so poor that she wasn't aware of how hurtful she could be with hard logic, she genuinely believe she was solely helping. That was one of the reasons why she despised interaction. Either herself or someone else came out harmed.

"Annie, things like that are just hurtful. I suppose I can understand when you do it to me, 'cause I'm not the best at everything. But why are so mean to Bert?" Reiner countered.

"Yeah, I've been wondering the same thing. He's been nothing but kind to you, even when you freeze him out, and he still won't give up no matter how bad you treat him. If you keep up that attitude, you'll end up alone with no one who cares about you." Marcel preached concerned about her future.

"Here I am trying to help my fellow trainees like you wanted me to, and this is what I get? Fine, I know when I'm not wanted." Annie spat and swam away.

Deep down, that last sentence resonated with her a great deal more than she let on. She had learned the day before that her mother had abandoned her, but someone as logical and rational as her was more than capable of understanding her mother's actions and respect her decision with no heart feelings. Or at least that's what she wanted to think. For someone reason, the heart she ignored for so long couldn't stop weeping and she didn't know why. Why was it only functioning when she didn't need it to?

For the first time since she could remember, she craved for support. She'd never admit it, but she did. And that was why she allowed herself to step a little closer from the people she considered potential 'friends'. But alas, it was like she had placed an electrical cage around herself, throughout her life. Those who went anywhere near her, would get shocked, but when she finally sought to leave her comfort zone and warm up to others, she would get shocked as well.

"W-Wait!" Bertholdt wept as he extended his arm in her direction.

"Just let her go. She clearly needs some time to pull herself together." Porco casually advised, knowing the best course of action from first hand experience.

"She just blew up, because she was angry about something. Let's just forget this ever happened." Reiner pouted with his arms crossed. Choosing not to get angry at Annie.

"Hold on, I'll go talk to her." Marcel calmly informed before chasing her. He had done similar things before and he refused to let any chance of helping those he deemed friends slip by.

Bertholdt wanted to warn Marcel that consoling her was futile, but he had already left to her side. He was touching her shoulder and massaging her back. Initially, only he was talking but then Annie started responding too, though he didn't know what they were saying.

The taller boy was beyond perplexed, the Annie he knew would never open her heart to a soul. Not even to herself. And above all, she would instantly hit anyone who dared touch her without permission. He knew that all too well, just thinking about it reminded him of the pain. But... why was she talking to Marcel, and why didn't she pummel him the moment he touched her?

And why didn't she act like that with him? Was he not good enough for her? Did she have a particular fondness of Marcel, a guy she barely knew? Or was it an entire different reason altogether?

" _Annie... Why won't you talk to me? You can trust me..._ " he wondered mentally.

His chest suffered a strange kind of ache. It wasn't painful like the ones he felt when he was sad or lonely, but it was definitely uncomfortable. The feeling rarely emerged in him, but at that moment, it was never stronger. He felt... envy. He liked Marcel quite a lot, but he couldn't avoid the childish, violent thoughts about the boy who was consoling Annie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I updated this chapter ages ago XD Since school started, I've been very busy, so... yeah... sorry about that :/ 
> 
> This chapter is a little shorter than usual, because not only have the last ones been getting a little too long, but also because I've been around this one for far too long XD It was actually originally bigger, but I decided to split it or else my head would start to hurt XD
> 
> Next up, we'll have more interactions between the 6 and Bert's gonna have a little flashback. It's his time to shine after all. All the main 6 will have their time to shine. Annie already had hers and so did Reiner.
> 
> Anyway, I bet you all forgot what happened in the previous chapters. Annie found out about her mommy, while Marcel and Porco mended their relationship when we saw their backstory. Mainly Annie and Porco had a good share of character development this chapter, and I have to say I'm proud of it, but he's still gonna be the sarcastic jerk we all love.
> 
> The training in this chapter is inspired by the US marine snipers. They also have to do the stuff in the filthy pond, among other things that you'll see the next chapter ;)
> 
> Oh and, I have an important announcement to make. I am terribly sick. I have RDS, review deficiency syndrome. That means, if you don't drop a review, my body will spontaneously incerinate! Please, you must help my condition!


	16. Not a word about them

After their ordeal in the putrid waters, the children proceeded to continue their training by rolling around in arid, dusty ground in order to 'season their ghillie suits'. It wasn't hard by any means, but it was certainly painful. When they were nice and dirty, Drake ordered the start of the next step.

"Don't complain! You haven't done anything particularly hard yet! Typical degenerate Eldian behaviour!" Drake yelled at the hesitant and sore children.

"Alright, listen up. Now that you  _supposedly_  got the hang of your weapons and have proper camouflage with you, hunting should be a walk in the park. Which brings us to your next training. You see, there is a growing pest around this place that we need to eliminate. Wild boars are damaging local crops, preying our livestock and spreading diseases, so you'll have to fulfil your duties as Eldians and rid the good people of Marley from this increasing threat." he continued.

They had to venture through the woods and kill the highest amount of wild boars possible, while their instructors followed them in order to confirm the exact number of kills they scored. Those who killed one of the mammal pests would earn the right to have lunch, those who killed more would allegedly win rewards (though most cadets doubted the veracity of this last rule). Finally, anyone who didn't claim a boar life would receive an undetermined punishment. They were glad they didn't know what said punishment consisted in.

"W-We have... to... to... K-kill animals? I-I uh... I can't do that!" Bertholdt stuttered frightened.

"Me neither, but we have to. I didn't come all the way here just to give up now." Reiner asserted with determination in his eyes. He was feeling optimistic, even though his accuracy was atrocious. "But then again... This just doesn't feel right..."

"I understand your feelings. But surely you were aware of brutal demands like this when you enlisted, correct? Not to mention the fact that if you become a Titan, you will most likely be held responsible for the death and suffering of countless human lives." Pieck argued calmly.

"Chances are those 'human lives' belong to the Island dwellers, so it's okay, right? They're demons after all." Reiner contended confused.

"Hmph... I suppose..." the dark haired girl quietly answered and hastily distanced herself from her companions, almost as if she was afraid of the conversation.

"What's gotten into her?" the unskilled cadet questioned her unusual reaction.

"Oh, never mind that. Let's just get to business." Marcel quickly ended the dangerously soft subject regarding Marley's morals. "Boar hunting was pretty common in my hometown, so you guys don't need to worry about a thing! Just follow my lead and you'll be fine!" he encouraged.

"Oh yeah! Dad used to come back home with boars for dinner all the time…" Porco recalled, each word progressively losing spirit and speed, as he thought nostalgically about his dead hometown and his lost parent.

" _Used to? Interesting…_ " Pieck thought as she listened to their conversation from a safe distance.

"Hehe yeah. He didn't use guns, though. Meaning we'll have an easier time than him." the older brother cheered his newly-gloomy brother.

"So uhm… Have you hunted boars before, Marcel?" Annie shyly approached their little group. It didn't seem like she was all that interested in the obvious answer, but rather that she wanted to start a conversation with him.

It was hard not to notice that Annie didn't keep herself to herself as usual. Was she trying to change? Marcel had comforted her earlier, when she failed a social interaction attempt, so perhaps that's why she felt slightly more comfortable with him?

But Bertholdt couldn't help feeling a little hurt. Though he was glad to see the she finally realized that forming a family does wonders to one's state of mind and performance, it hurt to see that she chose to approach Marcel, rather than him. He supported her far more than the other boy, so why?

" _I guess Marcel really is better than me at everything…"_

"Nah. I wanted to, but no one would let me. I was too young at the time after all." Marcel casually explained as he scratched the back of his head.

"At the time? Does that mean boar hunting somehow came to a halt?" Pieck questioned curious after inferring the air was safe again and returning to her friends' side.

Both brothers became visibly uncomfortable and avoided eye contact, as they kept silent the whole time.

"I apologize. Have I touched a sensitive subject?"

"Nah. It's okay. It's just that… Our hometown… it was assaulted… Apparently, they needed manpower, so…" Marcel clarified uneasy. His brother staring vacantly to the ground.

"Forgive this curious tongue of mine. I should have remained silent." the dark haired girl apologized with her hands on her chest.

"Th-that must have been awful… I-Is there anything I can do…?" Bertholdt muttered genuinely hurt by the emotions he empathized with.

Annie wanted to say some thing along the lines of «my condolences», but the words just didn't come out. She was completely ignorant when it came to comforting, or any social interaction for that matter. But still wanted to compensate him. All she could do was placing a friendly hand on his shoulder.

"Don't worry. We're okay." Marcel assured with a forced smile.

"Yeah…" Porco sighed unconvincingly.

"Gosh! That's awful! Who'd do such a thing?" Reiner exclaimed horrified.

Everyone froze. No matter how desperately they fled from the censored truth, Reiner persisted in bringing up the subject. How stupid does one have to be to not understand the gravity of the situation? Has he any awareness at all? They all wanted to yell at him and slap the truth in him, but no one was willing to take the risk. Even the word 'Marley' was taboo among Eldians.

Annie turned her eyes and her desire to be alone rekindled. Pieck started hypothesizing about Reiner's upbringing and what could possibly nurture him so ignorantly and naïvely. Bertholdt's fingers started fidgeting just as much as his eyes. Marcel wanted to leave, he was growing angry. And Porco…

"What. Did. You say?" the younger sibling growled furiously.

"Huh? What do you mean? I'm just asking who did something so terrible to you?" Reiner answered, startled by the other boy's aggressive reaction.

"… Did you hit your head when you were a baby?" Porco stared daggers. It amazed him how idiotic Reiner was.

"Wh-What? Why are you so angry? What did I do?" he moaned with a cracking voice. He could sense anger emanating from all of his group, except Bertholdt, and he just didn't understand why. Did he say something wrong?

"Porco, c'mon, knock it off." Marcel pleaded as he pulled his brother's arm.

"No!" he yelled and snatched his member off of Marcel's grip. "Reiner, I've been trying to have a better attitude lately. I really, really have. So forgive me if I get too pissed off, but you need to get something inside that hollow skull for your own good." he started scolding bitterly as he forcefully poked Reiner's chest.

"You know the reason why everyone in here comes from broken families? Do you know why all of us are poor, while Marleyans swim in cash? You know why we were all sent off to a living hell like this? You know why we're all treated like… like sh…" Porco hesitated uttering the profane word. "Like shit?!" he screamed.

He used to frequently cuss as a way to preserve his foul-mouthed father's memory. He had been trying to let go of that sorrow, and with his brother's help, he was succeeding in moving on and growing as a person. A person who was more respectful. But Reiner just had to remind him of his father again and ruin his growth!

"I uh… I don't…" Reiner flinched and his eyes started watering from humiliation. One of the people he considered a friend had just fiercely admonished him, while his other friends remained quiet, silently agreeing. Marcel looked away frustrated, Bertholdt was paralyzed and the girls were glaring at him.

"It's because of M…" the wrathful boy mustered up the courage to say it out loud.

"Shut up, Porco." Marcel interrupted sharply, for his sake.

"Your brother is right. Don't be so foolish as to trust  _that_  matter to a soul. Especially not a dominated mind like his." Annie scoffed as she glowered at the berated boy.

"I must sorrowfully admit that I share Annie's opinion. Hopefully, he will gain some discernment eventually." Pieck grumbled before turning back and leaving before their instructors got mad for stalling. Porco followed her irritated.

"Hey, don't be sad. They just got mad and, well…" Marcel wanted to sooth him, but quite frankly, he was pretty angry himself, and he didn't know what to say.

"But are were you so angry? I didn't say anything to deserve being treated like that!" Reiner protested confused.

"It's complicated… I assure we're all your friends, they just got angry, because… it's just that… This is a very soft issue. All of the lives of the kids in here started from damnation, and chances are that's never gonna change. Everyone like us is doomed to spend the rest of their living years in enclosured ruin. And that's… frustrating. It's something you just can't accept…" Marcel struggled to explain in the safest way possible, as well as the way it would make him appear the least furious.

"Why are you speaking in riddles? I can't understand you! What do you mean by «Everyone like us»? What do you mean by «enclosured ruin»? You know I'm not a smart boy, so please, just tell me already!" Reiner demanded tenaciously.

Silence.

"Bertholdt…? You've been quiet this whole time, that means you know something, right? Aren't we friends? I thought you liked talking to me. We were planning talking about that certain thing tonight at the dorms, remember? Can you please just explain it to me? Can you at least explain to me why you can't say anything?" Reiner took a deeper and sweeter tone.

"I-I'm sorry… But… I c-can't… My family lives in a pit of misery, because of  _them_ … And I'm here, because I wanna save us…" Bertholdt hesitantly hinted.

"Most of us are in Bertholdt's boat. The old 'If you can't beat them, join them' divisive tactic. They're using the only flicker of hope we have to support them, instead of making a stand." Annie spoke after trying her hardest to remain calm.

"Who are  _they_?"

"I hope you open your eyes one day, Reiner." she vaguely answered, before deciding to follow her other 2 mates.

"What's the fucking hold up? Get started. NOW!" a nameless instructor hollered from behind.

"Sorry…" Bertholdt muttered as he followed Annie. When Reiner looked for Marcel, the latter had already vanished.

 

* * *

 

Despite the inconclusive quarrel, the 6 children remained together throughout their mission. Reiner felt idiotic and guilty, because he angered his friends without understanding exactly how; if the atmosphere wasn't so embarrassing, he would've genuinely apologized, even though he didn't know what he did wrong.

And for the most part, the others also felt bad for lashing out, and even worse because what Reiner said didn't seem like it was intentionally hurtful.

Seeing someone not only doubt, but also idolize the very source of all their pain just hit a nerve.

The cadets' lives were mocked, spit on, beaten, shoved to the ground, trampled, ravished, pissed on, defecated on, brutally murdered and ravished again. Every single one of the competitors in that academy were helpless ants getting burned by sadistic kids with a magnifying glass.

They weren't alone, though. Everyone of their kin was equally dehumanized.

That's right, all Eldians, with no exception, are born in torment and destined to die similarly. The entire Eldian race had a single common bane. The sole obstacle of their happiness.

Marley.

_They_ were the reason why their families endured endless ruin. The reason why their dreams and aspirations were doomed from the very start. The reason why they either cry themselves to sleep every night, or learn how to discard their emotions.

Watching Reiner, a fellow Eldian, lick their enemy's boots. Embracing abuse like a masochist doormat, triggered repulse in his friends. Except Annie, she couldn't care less.

But even though the atmosphere was overwhelmingly awkward and anti-Reiner, Marcel tried to maintain the supportive attitude of their group. He knew full well that not all Marleyans are bad, after all. He was saved by one. Besides, antagonizing the poor, lost boy was futile.

"Come now, drop the long faces, everyone! This'll be a piece of cake. Just remember, wild boars love heavily brushed areas, which provide shelter from predators, and abundance of water for drinking and bathing purposes. Those guys love splashing in water and mud." Marcel forced a laugh to ease the mood. "It doesn't seem like it'll rain, so we shouldn't have any trouble spotting them if we know where to look. Oh, and – I'll be there for you all the way, so don't' worry about failing. As long as I'm here that ain't happening." he winked and raised his thumb at a melancholic Reiner.

"How very gracious of you. My humble thanks." Pieck lightly bowed with poise. "Based on your account, that I will choose to trust, and my rather limited previous knowledge of similar mammals, I am certain we can infer that those swines are quite fond of resting in shelters that contain insulating material like spruce branches and dry hay. And I believe I have observed an habitat that fits these descriptions somewhere in that direction." she confidently hypothesized as she pointed to her left.

"Great thinking, Pieck! And here I was thinking I was good!" Marcel complimented loudly, causing her to giggle flattered.

"Uhm… yeah… Nice one, Pieck…" Annie shyly and nervously agreed with a hoarse voice, not even gazing at anyone's eyes. It seemed like she only said that to further familiarize with her group, like Marcel advised her to do.

And the conversation ended there. Aside from Marcel and Pieck, who tried to remain mature, the others were still feeling too awkward to talk, or even appear jolly. Annie was an exception, because she didn't care in the slightest about trivial matters such the petty argument that was held recently. In fact, if one didn't know her, they would say she was clinging to Marcel…

As they followed Pieck's directions, the silence was becoming overwhelming. Someone had to talk.

"So… Bert… You've been fidgeting for a while now. Still nervous about the killing thing?" Marcel broke the ice for their mental health's sake.

"Y-Yeah… J-Just… Just thinking… a-about it… Gah…" Bertholdt whimpered as he flinched. The thought of harming another living being disgusted him to no end.

"Why? I used to eat boar meat all the time. And I've seen you eat meat in here. Animals were killed for your sake, you're just as responsible for their deaths as the ones who hunted them. But there's no shame in that. That's just how nature works, we all have to eat." Porco argued calmly.

"Well… yeah, but…" he tried think of a solid counter-argument, but closed his mouth once he realized Porco's logic was irrefutable.

"And if it makes you feel any better, besides the fact that our current mission is culturally acceptable, we are hunting a pest species. Like we were informed, wild boars are renowned for damaging crops, preying on our livestock and spreading diseases, meaning their demise are advantageous for our community, as well as our ecosystem." Pieck cheerfully explained, showing no remorse or hesitation upon describing gruesome topics.

Normally, Reiner would be perplexed by the fancy words he had never heard before uttered by Pieck. And he'd probably asked her to explain. But he wasn't in the mood. Nor was he in the mood to cheer his friend up.

In any case, Bertholdt still wasn't convinced. He was still silently and gloomily staring at the ground.

"Didn't you know, Bert? Boars don't feel pain." Marcel lied confidently.

"What? Th-That doesn't… make sense…"

"Trust me, it's true. Would you say that growing tusks is painful?" he further deceived optimistic.

"Uhm… I guess…" he answered unsure.

"Exactly. That's why they evolved in a manner that would prevent them from suffering. Hence their lack of pain sensibility." Marcel assured soothingly.

"A-Are you sure?" he questioned skeptically. He doubted the logic, but he was very easily swayed.

"Positive. Hey, Pieck, you're the smart one, what I said is true, right?" he winked at the dark haired girl.

"Oh, uhm… Yes, I can confirm the veracity of his claims." she backed him up, once she understood the scheme.

"I think I saw one over there! C'mon, let's go!" Porco yelled once he detected movement.

As the group followed Porco's directions, Bertholdt was left behind, pondering about his future actions. He hadn't done anything immoral yet, and his subconscious was already preparing reparations. Guilt was frostbiting his guts. Shouldn't the pain of sin appear  _after_ it is committed?

" _It's okay, Bertholdt. You can do this. No is gonna blame you or judge you. If everyone's doing it, then it's okay, right? You don't want to look bad in front of Annie either, do you? Oh, who am I kidding? I'll always look bad in front of her, no matter what I do… And I can't do this either, I just can't. Father and mother would do it in a heartbeat without blinking. Those 2 are capable of anything, but I'm not. I'm sorry, father, mother. But this is as far as I go… I can't crawl any farther, I have to give up."_

"Bertholdt… What are you doing? Come." Annie summoned him sternly from far ahead. If one tried their hardest, they might be able to detect the slightest hint of concern.

"Oh… uhm… Right, I'm coming." he yelled before sprinting toward her. For some strange reason he couldn't explain. Seeing her reaching out for him somehow added another thread of hope for him to hang on.

Good thing she showed up, because he was about to break into tears. Again. But Annie made him promise that he would stop crying. And he wanted to fulfill that promise, he wanted to at least try and change for her. But his greatest motivation was that he was aware that she wanted him to change for his own sake.

" _I suppose… I can crawl just a little farther…"_

"Hey, warriors don't falter. Let's go. There is nothing to fear." she sincerely did her best to comfort him. She even went as far as to gently tap his back, only to quickly remove her hand after the foreign, affectionate contact, that she wasn't comfortable with.

"Right!" he rejoiced. Positivity rushed through him at the sight of Annie not being an insensitive ice queen.

"Oh and… I commend you for not explaining anything about  _that_  to Reiner. Knowing you, I bet you might feel conflicted for not aiding someone in need. Especially a friend. But… trust and support isn't something you should wave around. You might get stabbed in the back, or in  _that_  case, killed. I learned that you must save it for those who proved themselves trustworthy." she praised him emotionlessly yet truthfully.

"Oh…! Well, thank-" he was interrupted by a loud and familiar gunshot not very far from him.

"Was that…?" he yapped after gasping deeply.

"Obviously, yes. Hurry, you don't want to fall behind." she confirmed impatient. She didn't understand why he asked. Wasn't he the expert?

They required mere seconds to catch up to their group. Once they did, they witnessed 4 pair of eyes staring at a non-human corpse, as well as smoke ascending from Marcel's riffle barrel.

Pieck's assumptions proved themselves accurate once again. Like she predicted, boars would be attracted to hay. However, the boar that lay on the dead plants was dead itself. The cause of death was penetrating force trauma resulting in cranial fractures and immediate death.

"First try! Shockers!" Marcel humorously bragged.

"Marcel Galliard: 1 confirmed kill." an instructor screamed from afar.

"Hmph, it seems I taught you well." Porco sarcastically joked. "Shame the gunshot scared it's friends away."

"Thank goodness, I'm safe. Anyway, there have to be more around. They implied there were many of those guys." Marcel informed relieved.

They thoroughly scavenged a good portion of their given area, and for the most part, they conducted quite well.

Annie put the skills she learned from her lessons with Bertholdt, from before her time in the academy, to good use and scored 3 kills flawlessly.

After overcoming some difficulties of his own, Porco held his chin up high when he showed beyond doubt that he was just as capable as his brother, with 1 kill in the bag.

Pieck was surprisingly lazy. She quietly saved her energies and struck when she believed she had seized the perfect moment. Either by pure luck or sheer intellect, she managed to score 2 kills.

Marcel killed 2 boars without much effort, but he focused on encouraging and helping his more reluctant and unskilled teammates, namely Bertholdt and Reiner, who had not been able to claim a life.

"C'mon, Bert. That one's sleeping. It ain't gonna suffer at all." Marcel whispered enthusiastically in the reluctant cadet's ear.

"O-Okay… Okay… I can do this…" he heavily breathed as he aimed his long riffle at an unaware, slumbering boar on the bottom of a hill, with trembling hands.

It would be  _so_  easy. He just needed to pull a tiny, comfortable trigger and his anxiety would melt as if nothing had ever happened. It wouldn't even know what hit it. It wouldn't even realize that it's life had been extinguished.

Just like those innocent Eldians he witnessed being executed by firing squad in public. So, so many virtuous souls had left the plane of the living before his eyes. They haunted his dreams often. He would twist and turn in his sleep, just like those brutal, grim images twisted his mind. But above all, they reminded him that he should know his place. So much senseless pain, all because of  _that._

"Do not hesitate, Bertholdt. You performed far better when we practiced together with your father. I know you are capable." Annie scolded.

" _Do it, son! Do not hesitate!" his father ordered his reluctant child sternly._

" _I-I… I can't do it!" he screamed with adrenaline rushing through his veins and his trembling hands, as he aimed his long riffle at a flock of moving birds. He had proven more than capable of shooting fast moving targets upwards, so that shouldn't be too hard. But then again, he had never killed a living being before…_

" _Nonsense! Act like a warrior and do what I know you can do. Quick, before the birds escape!" his father hollered impatiently._

_He pointed his riffle at one of the feathered creatures, and for a split second, he actually considered pulling the trigger. But cowardice stilled his finger._

_He didn't want to kill. Why would he? Not only did he lack the motive, but he also lacked the necessity. He'd be no better than_ _**them** _ _._ _**They** _ _also exploited, tortured and killed_ _just because they could, no logical reason whatsoever._

_He remembered being sweetly lectured by his mother, that if one wished to defeat a monster, one would have to descend to the level of a monster. But was it really the only way? Birds aren't monsters. And he certainly didn't want to become one either._

" _Hurry! Annie already shot 2 of them!" he sharply reminded him as a way to awaken his primal competitive instincts._

_She just stood there next him bored. It took a while for her to remotely perfect her marksmanship, but when it came to the core principal of a sniper, of a warrior, she beat him by a landslide._

_Her sullen, blue eyes stared disappointed at him. With her arms folded and arrogance emanating from her entire being, she waited for her training to end and return to her cabin. He bet she thought she was better than him. She'd be right._

_That's when, just for a mere moment, he thought: Why not kill? Everybody does it. Either due to biological necessity or to sadistic pleasure, everyone he knew was a savage beast hiding in clothes. He watched his kin being slaughtered countless times by_ _**them** _ _. Enough times to mitigate the emotional impact. And he also watched his kin fight back, sometimes among themselves._

_Why not become a monster? His father was a professional gun wielder. Surely, he had ended an abundant amount of lives. Even Annie, a girl he was quite fond of, showed no remorse or hesitation upon pummeling him, or killing birds. And his mother… Even though she tried to hide her true self, he knew she was sick in the head. She wasn't normal, but he appreciated the fact that he she tired to feign being so._

_And he loved these people. He interacted with them and wished to grow closer to them. Doesn't that make him just as bad as them? He doesn't go out of his way to fight for what he believes in. That stains his blood just as much._

" _Now! Don't you know what'll happen if you don't become a Tit-"_

_He didn't need to hear the rest of his father's sentence to be encouraged. He was reminded why he was doing what he was doing. Not because he was a monster. But because of love._

_He pressed his finger, and the flying animal descended down the skies lifelessly. His first kill. His first of many._

Next thing he knew it, the boar was dead.

"Hey! Way to go, bud!" Marcel complimented as he raised his hand, expecting a high-five.

However, the eldest brother was left hanging. Bertholdt was still in shock for the atrocity he had just committed. His whole body was shaking. His eyes were wide open and frozen by dread. His breathing uneven and easily audible.

"To be fair, that was a pretty weak target." Porco joked, but his light-hearted tone made it clear that he that he was happy for his friend.

"N-Nice…" a gloomy Reiner brought himself to support his friend morbidly, with a weak and forged smile.

"Hey, it's okay. Were you… thinking about that time when you and I were…?" Annie murmured worried in his hear. She calculated a similar outcome would occur. But she also wanted him to barrel through his painful memory.

He nodded, still disturbed.

A curious looking Pieck suddenly smiled impishly as she observed the interactions between the 2.

"* **Giggle*** There is no person so severely punished, as those who subject themselves to the whip of their own remorse. Never fear, Bertholdt, I am utterly convinced that you will eventually get used to kill. That is how warriors are meant to act, yes?" she teased darkly.

"Okaaaaaayyyy… That was  _super_  creepy, but whatever…" Porco dismissed her ramblings and turned around in search of another boar.

"Why, it is the truth, correct? I loath it as much as you. But the sooner we embrace it, the more intact our psyche will remain." she argued heartlessly.

"Well… Let's just focus on Reiner now. He hasn't been able get remotely close to the mark yet." Marcel dodged the subject. She noticed, and chose to drop it.

"S-Sorry…" the boy in question lamented disheartened, like he was terribly ill.

"No sweat. I said I'd help you, didn't I? The day's not over until we all party the success of the 6 of us together." he soothed friendlily as he ruffled the boy's blonde hair. It did little to lift his spirit. "Tell you what, just stay here with the others while I go find a boar. Once I spot a one, I'll lure it here to you. And if you miss again, these guys will shoot it down, so you have nothing to fear."

"Uhm… Okay… Thanks…" Reiner genuinely expressed his utmost gratitude.

Marcel grinned and winked before departing.

"How pleasant. I am feeling lazy anyway. I believe I shall take a break here." Pieck announced calmly before sitting with her legs crossed in the bushy ground.

"That's a bad idea. The instructors said we'd be rewarded if we kill more. Let's continue." Porco advised.

"No one is forcing you to stay, correct? I shall resume my mission shortly." she casually informed as she took a meditation position.

"Whatevs!" Porco sighed and turned his eyes, still pondering whether or not he should continue.

"Stop shaking, Bertholdt. Warriors don't behave like that." Annie comforted the tall, traumatized boy quietly. The 2 were silently having a parallel conversation.

"Hey, Pieck. I just remembered. Earlier today you seemed kinda sad. You gonna get that out of your chest already?" Porco inquired. Annie, Bertholdt and Reiner turned their curious gaze at the raven haired girl.

"Hmm? Oh, I had already forgotten about that topic. It fills me with joy to know that I have companions who worry about my well being. Anyhow, it was not anything too worrisome. You see, rain had infiltrated my father's clinic, even though it was summer at the time. And when I visited him, he was struggling to restore the clinic into the savior it was. A painful sight, but a temporary one. I have faith in his expertise and intellect." she clarified serenely, as if she hadn't nothing to worry about.

"I see… I remembered you mentioning the thing about the rain and the clinic." Annie said matter-of-factly.

"Wait, that doesn't make sense… An important place like a clinic would never be in a bad state. The higher ups, would fix it right away, right?" a confused Reiner questioned skeptically.

The same heavy mood from before retuned. Reiner felt disdain emanating from most of his companions.

"No. The -  _higher ups_ – would actually be delighted to observe our kind rotting." Pieck assured angrily, her usual cool composure vanished.

"What? Our kind? Wait… do you mean…?" Reiner believed he had reached a plausible conclusion.

"Shut up, Reiner!" Porco hollered, causing him to flinch back to his depressed state.

"Yes. Shut up, Reiner." she reprimanded with her characteristic tranquil composure back. "Let us change to a brighter topic. For instance, the mechanisms in our weapons are quite remarkable, would you not agree? Understanding the logical process in instruments is an amusing hobby-"

"What does that have to do with…?" the sad boy interrupted, confused by the relevancy of her ramblings.

"Just a second, Reiner. I had almost finished speaking." she desperately delayed the deadly topic further. "I can't help but wonder how is the state of fire weapons inside the walls we are to antagonize. According to the historical information available to the public, that may or may not have been tampered with, only a fraction of our Eldian ancestors fled to the fateful Island, where they completely isolated themselves." her monologue seemed to have distracted Reiner and his masochist ideals. But it was clear for the others that Pieck kept talking like she was running away from death. And she was, in a way.

"Taking into account the fact that they must have been unable to carry high amounts of items on their trip, the fact that their economical power was certainly scarce and inaccessibility of exterior knowledge and resources, I believe it is safe to conclude that their technology is largely inferior in multiple regards. If we are to attack their Island, their means of defense are undoubtedly feeble and inoffensive."

"Pieck, I don't understand what do you want to tell me by that! Stop speaking in riddles. Nothing you're saying has logic!" Reiner protested furious. He was sick of being treated like an idiotic scum.

"Logic?... What do you know about logic?" Pieck spat wrathfully as she stared daggers at him. The calm and composed Pieck had vanished.

"Are you so fucking retarded as to do anything, regardless of how awful, without wondering «Why should I do this?», «How will this course of action benefit me and society in general?»? Your entire existence is devoid of logic!" she further yelled. It was the first time they had heard her cuss.

"Couldn't agree more. You could be spat and trampled by  _ **them**_ , and you'd like it and ask for more!" Porco backed her up.

"Who are  _ **them**_?!" Reiner demanded.

"Ignore him, you two. He's nothing but trouble." Annie intervened annoyed in the conversation she tried to avoid.

"No! You started it. Now you're gonna explain everything to me!" his pathetic garrulous left everyone, except a mentally distant Bertholdt, sighing in annoyance.

"Your stupidity is worrisome... But I believe I have a vague clue of its source... Reiner, you weren't raised in a rural area like most of us, correct?" Pieck started cracking down her hypothesis.

"I wasn't... How do you know that? I never mentioned such a thing..."

"Your language says it all. If you pay enough attention, you'd notice that Marcel sometimes says the vulgar expression «Ain't» instead of the grammatically correct «Is not». However, he toggles between the 2 consistently, while Porco very rarely says «Ain't» and for the most part says the correct form. I noticed this the second I met them. I can only conclude that they moved to an urban area when Porco was still learning how to talk. But you, Reiner... Your mannerisms, your eating habits, among others scream urban area." she confirmed her theory a she decoded his facial expression.

"So?"

"So... Not only do you live in a place with harsher Marleyan pressure, but there is also the mystery regarding your male parent. You are quite vocal about your mother, but I also remember you mentioning something preposterous about your father. That strikes me as odd. Can you elaborate about him?" the black haired girl continued her interrogation confidently.

"There's nothing to talk about my dad! He's a war hero! Show some respect! And... I don't talk much about him, because... because... I don't see him much, okay?" Reiner started obviously weaving his own web of lies, in order to 'escape'.

"A war hero, huh?... You know, I once inquired Bertholdt about how you described your father and he reported to me that you have quite the absurd opinion of him... I wonder..." she hypothesized, holding her chin with her index finger and thumb. "Reiner, by any chance, do you have proof of your allegations?"

"Uhm... Well, no... My mother told me, so it true!" he countered tenaciously.

Annie and Bertholdt were completely ignoring the interrogation and Porco was witnessing it dazzled by Pieck's deductions.

"I see... Have you ever considered the possibility that your mother lied?" she asked casually.

"Mommy would never lie to me! I saw my father! She showed him to me! That proves she told the truth."

"I have a hard time believing that. Furthermore, most Eldians who aid Marley in wars willingly, come from rural areas, due to the fact that in the city, Eldians are heavily pressured in following jobs that allow Marleyans to watch them closely, due to the high concentration of our kin. They don't want a revolution now, do they? Additionally, don't you find it odd that a supposedly war hero is not in a war?"

"What do you mean by that?" he hissed angrily.

"I'm only confirming that your mother lied to you through simple logic. Didn't you accuse me of lack of logic earlier? This is not rocket science, even you should be able to understand."

"Impossible! And why would she lie to me, anyway? If you're so smart, tell me!"

"I can think of a multitude of reasons for her to that – perhaps a manipulative strategy to drive you to work harder? Also, did you talk to him when she showed him to you?"

"Well... No..."

"As I feared... That raises the question: Why would your father be away from you, despite the fact that he is alive? And why would your mother make up such preposterous deceits? Is there anything dangerous about your father that you are hiding from us?" she questioned serenely, delighted to destroy his arguments one by one.

No rebuttal. However, his frightened expression confirmed Pieck's suspicions. Reiner was a terrible liar.

"I am right, am I not? Is there any particular reason why you don't live with him, despite thinking so highly of him?"

He had to look away. She was reading him too well. If she continues, she might...

"Did he abuse you, or your mother?" that question made him look at her in the eyes again. She took this sign of comfort as a 'No'.

"No? Very well, this is just a guess. Maybe even far-fetched, but... Does your father happen to be Marleyan?"

Checkmate. She cornered him with a mischievous smile.

" _Oh no! She knows too much! I promised mommy know one could know! I have to... I have to rat her out! Mommy told me I had to succeed by any means necessary, even if I have to cheat. I have to tell the higher ups that she, and the others were badmouthing Marley. They were subtle, but I'm not stupid! Wait, maybe I'm rushing things here, do they really deserve it? I mean, they were really mean to me today. Why should I be nice to them? But that doesn't matter. I have to fulfil my duty as a decent Eldian and expose any evil thought about Marley. It is my moral duty."_ Reiner pondered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry to make you wait so long! I was actually planning to upload this almost a week before, but there's this thing called life where things happen and you can't really do anything about it. Soooo... yeah. Sorry again. But the wait is over. I only hope you haven't forogotten too much about last chapter. In here lots of stuff happens, including a little explanation of why Bert sleeps in weird positions. XD And I also decided to throw some spice at Pieck's character. I thought she needed to be a little more fleshed out. But you still haven't seen all of it ;)
> 
> I wanted to write the kids' training as military trainings around the world. This chapter and the last reflected the training of US marines (except the hunting thing, I made that up)
> 
> Anyone saw chapter 99? Cause I sure did! And remember when Pieck said to that guy that she thought she recognised him? The one she said had a nice beard? I have no doubt that's Jean. She saw him when she saved Reiner, around chapter 85 I believe.
> 
> Also, one of the reasons why I have been less active was because I've been playing this game called Danganronpa V3, and I absolutely loved it. In fact, I'm considering writing a fanfiction about it. But now that I've finished the game, I have a little more time for myself.
> 
> Anyway, shit's gonna hit the fan next chapter ;) will Reiner betray his friends? Will Pieck do something EXPECTED of her? Will Bert guess the weather? Only one thing's for certain: Marley sucks.


	17. Rehabilitation

"Reiner? If you do not intend to refute my accusation, do keep in mind that your silence and your suspicious behaviour will only confirm my hypothesis." Pieck threatened the mentally cornered boy, perplexed by the fact that she landed a shot in the dark.

Reiner was shivering. His mind had never stormed so negatively before. Deep feelings of anxiety and hatred tainted his brain. He felt stress igniting his chest and spreading to his skin. His heart pumped blood harder than how he wished to pummel Pieck.

"N-No... Y-You got it all wrong... Th-There's no way I'd have a... a M-Marleyan f-father..." he stuttered unconvincingly, stress restraining his tongue. His lie was so obvious that even himself would see right through it, had somebody else told it. "You know what happens when an Eldian dates someone from the noble and superior people of Marley, right? They'd get executed..." he smiled anxiously and regained some confidence after thinking of a good counter-argument.

But he was too late. That truth was already more than evident.

"My, My!" the ebony haired girl wide opened her eyes in disbelief. "Was I... Was I actually correct? I was merely throwing a rubber ball at a wall and hoping it would stick, but it did stick in fact. You  _were_  indeed sired by a Marleyan!"

"No! You're just delusional!" he screamed utterly desperate. Annie, Bertholdt and Porco, who weren't really paying attention to their conversation, immediately turned their heads at the loud sound source surprised.

"I was once told that there is nothing as invisible as the obvious. However, you are living proof that that is not always the case. Admit defeat already. Your glaring deceits will not dissuade me from the truth." she arrogantly hissed.

"Hey, what's going on here?" Porco intervened, preoccupied by the heated commotion.

"I just so happened to learn that Reiner here is-" her displeased clarification with squinted eyes was cut short by a desperate Reiner.

"Please don't!" he screamed in panic.

"As I was saying, I just so happened to learn that Reiner here is-" once again, Reiner prevented her from speaking, but this time by punching her lips before she had a chance of finishing.

She was flinched by the pain and surprise for a mere second, and after her quick brain processed what had just happened, 2 murderous eyes viciously stared at a vital organ, right before she lunged at her attacker like a lioness lunges at her prey's neck.

It seemed the instructors succeeded. They had nourished the children's killer instincts...

Reiner was paralyzed by what he had done. The force of the circumstances pulled his puppet strings in a way that he would never act. Before he could react, Pieck had already clutched his windpipe with all the strength in her little arms. She used the momentum and her own weight to knock his balance and forced him to the ground. The fast impact between the back of his head and the rocky ground was so violent that it was easily audible.

What a fool he was. It was made clear that he was the worst fighter in the academy. He had even fought Pieck and lost.

With some moves she had learned observing Annie, she sit on her victim, restrained his helpless arms with her legs and proceeded to strangle his neck so hard that scrunching sounds were produced.

But as she compressed his carotid artery, Annie put a stop to the pointless quarrel. She lightly kicked Pieck off of Reiner and pulled their arms up. As much as she wanted to beat Reiner too, she was perfectly aware that fighting him was futile and illogical.

"Stop it, you two! What the hell happened?!" Porco demanded, as he separated the two with Annie's help.

"If you tell anyone, I swear I'll-"

"You will what? Challenge me and lose again? Do not forget that you are in no position of threatening." Pieck countered after overcoming her urge to growl.

"I'm not so stupid as you think I am! I know you were all badmouthing Marley earlier. You were subtle, but I can take a hint. I must... I have to..." Reiner menaced with his judgement clouded by emotion.

He wanted to fulfil his duty as a good Eldian and expose those who dare criticising the great people of Marley. But was he really capable of bringing such ruin upon his friends? Sure, they were rather cruel toward him that day, but he wasn't sure if they deserved to be executed. They acted that way, because their judgement was clouded by emotions, just like he was at that moment.

His friends had miserable lives because of Marley, so they were naturally cranky when a fellow Eldian licked Marley's boots. But that wasn't something he entirely understood. At least up until that point.

Additionally, he also had a more rational motive to stay silent: Pieck. She knew about his most damning and darkest secret. She knew about his dual heritage. Granted, she had no evidence, but if she ratted him out, the authorities would investigate her accusation and conclude she was right. And then, himself and his family would be toast. Maybe even literally. His dream of reuniting with his father would be shredded.

Maybe it would be best for him if he kept quiet...

"Don't be stupid, Reiner. I usually can't care less about your stupid ramblings, but if my well being is at stake, I'll have to intervene. You know that if you snitch us, we'll get seriously hurt, right? It would be a shame if the same thing happened to you." Annie coldly menaced with squinted killer eyes. She further scared him into submission by squeezing her knuckles and producing intimidating sounds with her articulations.

"Exactly. You're talking as if we were saying bad things about Marley, but that didn't happen, we never even used that word. You're just too stupid to catch onto things, that's all." Porco lied with a mischievous smile.

"First you bully me for no reason, then you insult the great people of Marley and now you're lying and threatening me? The higher ups will know about this." Reiner protested frightened.

Had the other children reacted more calmly and less aggressively, he might have dropped the subject and spare his fellows. But now that he felt cornered like a wounded rabbit among a pack of starving wolves, he couldn't help getting a little defensive.

"Come now, I know that your decision would be more peaceful if we acted more friendlily, but you simply did not allow that." she gently caressed her abused lips. "So cooperate with us, why won't you? If you just think rationally for a second, you will come to the conclusion that snitching us will only harm your cause. Don't forget that you are extremely dependent of this little group for your success. Had you not relied on us, you would not have succeeded a single mission, correct? Even  _you_  have to admit that you are by far the worst cadet in this academy." Pieck argued heartlessly.

Silence. He shamefully turned his gaze down as the other 3 children mischievously giggled internally.

She was right. He was the least skilled cadet in all areas, and he knew it. Even at that moment, he was relying on Marcel to hunt a boar. Through all that commotion, they had already forgotten about Marcel. He said he would find a boar, and lure it near Reiner so he could kill it easily, and thus, succeed, while the others put down the animal in case he failed. But he still hadn't returned.

"But now seriously, Reiner – We didn't say anything about Marley, right? That was just your imagination, right?" Porco persuaded indirectly, adding extra aggressiveness to the word 'right'.

"I-I told you... I-I'm not... I'm not stup-"

"Yes, you are. You're stupid as shit. That's why you stupidly made this nonsensical story up." a completely livid Porco intimidated.

Porco, Annie and Pieck proceeded to darkly repeat the word 'Stupid' like mantra as they slowly approached him in perfect harmony, in order to make their point clear. An intimidated Reiner instinctively backed off slowly, as though he was a beaten dog frightfully withdrawing itself from it's sadistic owner once it saw a whip.

The menacing trio wasn't sure what they would do to him. They certainly wanted to scare him into silence, but they didn't want to hurt him either. He was just as desperate and fearful as they were. They understood that, they empathised with him. But would his silence be bought by peaceful means? In any case, they were unsure what to do next once his back hit a tree.

"Wh-Wh... What are you...?" Reiner muttered terrified.

"Stop!" they heard a familiar high pitched voice scream nearby.

All 4 of them quickly turned their heads perplexed at the source of the sound. It was a shivering Bertholdt, clearly fighting his tears with all his might.

They had already forgotten about the lanky boy. He was an emotional wreck after the traumatising killing he had committed. The fact that it was a boar life was irrelevant to him, a life is a life, and he hated himself for practicing what he condoned. He just stared at the void, trembling, refusing to talk; so the others started their heated debate without him.

"Stop! Stop fighting!" Bertholdt pleaded with a cracking voice. "Don't you see that that's what they want? They want to turn us into... into monsters! And they obviously achieved that! I know I'm a total loser at a lot of things, but if there was something that I have always been proud of myself of, is the fact that I wasn't a monster, but now... I don't even have that anymore! Fighting is meaningless, it'll only make this living hell worse!"

As soon as he finished speaking, he almost burst into tears. But through his whimpers and sniffing, no tears descended. He promised Annie he wouldn't cry after all.

Reiner, Pieck, Annie and Porco looked down in shame. They remembered how Marcel was always preaching how making friends and bonding maintained their mental fortitude, and prevented them from changing their true selves. It was only then that they fully grasped how correct he was.

"P-Please... Don't hurt Reiner. He's just confused... And well, I know what he did was bad, but... None of us is perfect, or else we wouldn't be in this mess." he shyly appealed as he stood nervously next to Reiner (rather frightened of the others as well). "And Reiner, we're all friends. We're here to help you and support you. Are you really thinking about denouncing us? Why would you do that? Do we mean so little to you?" Bertholdt moaned, causing Reiner to fall in a deep state of contemplation.

Bertholdt had a point: Why would he do such a thing? Reiner was fully aware of the mortal consequences of being accused of criticising Marley, so why would he accuse them? He didn't stand to gain anything whatsoever. But for some reason... It just felt right to do so. Not doing anything would make him feel guilty and scared of sharing their potential fate. That was how deep his indoctrination ran.

After a long period of silence, Pieck spoke. "That speech was... touching, to say the least. I am mature enough to swallow my pride and admit that I allowed myself to succumb to our instructors' anguishing gambit. However, you have a far too childish outlook of life, Bertholdt. If the world was so simple as you make it out to be, we would not find ourselves in this turmoil. Do not assume everyone is so innocent minded as you. You have the obligation of being aware of this by now." she preached darkly.

Annie, on the other hand, didn't seem moved at all. Instead of guilt, her expression only carried a «She's right» look.

"I don't wanna fight either. Right now, I only want to focus on accomplishing our stupid missions." Porco scoffed. "That being said, as long as Reiner behaves, I see no point in antagonizing anyone."

"Heads up!" Marcel yelled at the top of his lungs from far away.

That was the signal. The elder Galliard had succeeded in luring a boar close to their group. Reiner couldn't have his duty more facilitated. All he had to do was aiming at his target and shoot while it was near.

The problem was that the boar was getting progressively closer. Dangerously closer. The 5 present children had laid their riffles nearby during their quarrel, and thankfully so, otherwise someone would have been shot in a fit of rage.

But as Reiner stared paralyzed at the incoming animal, someone had to act for his sake. Porco quickly chased his weapon and threw it at the unskilled cadet. He barely caught it and struggled to recall what Bertholdt had taught him about how to wield the riffle.

When the running animal closed the distance between itself and Reiner for less than a meter, a knee jerk reaction urged his index finger to pull the heavy trigger, and perhaps due to a miracle, he actually managed to land the shot for a change. Despite the short distance between the target, the bullet merely grazed the boar's skull. However, that was enough to inflict fatal cranial fractures.

" _I-I did it!"_

"Reiner Braun: 1 confirmed kill." a nameless instructor reported from afar.

" _They refused to intervene in our violent dispute, even though they have been observing our performance since the beginning? They really do intend to turn us into savages... I just hope thqt doesn)t get us into trouble:"_ Pieck thought.

* * *

 

Shortly after, lunch time was announced. Only those who killed at least one boar were allowed to eat, though. All the others were taken away to receive punishment for their failure. No one knew what said punishment consisted in, thankfully. But that wasn't a matter that Annie, Bertholdt, Reiner, Pieck, Porco and Marcel had to worry about, nor did they needed to worry about the screams of their unsuccessful mates.

A simple camp was made in the middle of a clear.

"For those of you who are present, I commend you. You accomplished your duty as Eldians by ridding the good people of Marley of a boar infestation, responsible for spreading diseases and damaging supplies. Even if you only killed one, you paid your service, as a consequence, Marley is grateful. And in order to prove you that we can be merciful and kind, here is your reward." Sergeant Drake felicitated the successful cadets.

As the children sat there, nervously believing their sadistic instructors to be bluffing, they were pleasantly surprised when each of them were given large, healthy plates; which consisted in soup, a wide variety of vegetables, water, fruit and roasted boar meat. That was by far the best meal they ever had in their lives, let alone in that academy.

"We are serving boar, because we didn't want any meat to go to waste. Marley's resources aren't exactly abundant, for reasons I'm sure you are aware of. And the slice of pie the military receives isn't exactly big either. So you should be thankful of Marley, for struggling for your sake." he continued surprisingly caring. "Without further ado, you may start eating."

Perhaps it was due to overwhelming hunger, but the food tasted far better than it looked.

They were expected to grow acquainted with starvation in that academy, because they would surely suffer harsher conditions in their fateful missions. Additionally, the hunger would also increase their savagery, the perfect recipe for a good warrior.

But at that moment, they felt as though the academy wasn't so bad. If they could have opened their mouths any wider they would have eaten the meat in one bite. Then they crunched it up, coupled with vegetables, with their mouths opening every time they chewed, treating everyone to a view of their partially masticated lunch. Pleasure ordered manners to go take a hike until they finished eating. Then they gulped it down and without pausing to breathe they took another swinging bite.

"Okay, when are you gonna explain to me why is the mood  _even_  heavier now? Did something happen while I was absent?" Marcel inquired after he believed his little group was satisfied.

Awkward silence.

"Pieck, is that a wound on your bottom lip?" the eldest Galliard asked concerned after he noticed the minor hemorrhage as he scanned his friends' worried expressions.

"Think nothing of it. Focus on avoiding ingesting too quickly." she dismissed as she proceeded to feast herself.

"What the hell happ-" when he turned to ask for clarification from his friends, he noticed bruises on Reiner's neck, that he had been trying to hide. "Reiner, your neck is a mess! What the hell?"

"Well… You see…" Annie struggled to think of a good way to explain the messy, complicated situation.

"Reiner Braun, Pieck Stern, it was reported to me that the 2 of you got into a fight. Clarify." Sergeant Drake interrupted severely. Warriors are valuable resources, therefore, he wouldn't allow such assets to be damaged.

"Our most sincere apologies, sir. We had formed a collective strategy to lure a boar toward us. Then a quarrel arose between Reiner and myself, because both of us wanted to be the killer. The fatigue and hunger tampered with our judgment, but we promise that such a thing will never happen again." Pieck explained with poise. She lied confidently and placed a pair of innocent hands on her chest.

"Is this true?" the sergeant impatiently asked the bruised boy, as Marcel held back his surprised reaction.

"Well… Not exactly…" he answered nervously.

As he predicted, Porco and the girls stared daggers at him; Bertholdt grew visibly scared and Marcel was starting to pick up on what he would say. But that didn't matter to him, he had a moral duty to oblige. He had to tell the truth.

"Since today I started realizing some things." he mustered up a great deal of courage to do what he thought was right. And he wasn't scared, he spoke self-assured, for he knew that his supposedly friends wouldn't intervene in their instructors' presence.

He was wrong. Unfortunately for him, Pieck calculated that a similar situation would take place, because the higher-ups had been watching the entire mission, as a way to confirm the number of kills. Therefore, she was certain that they would be questioned. In order to keep the situation under her control, she sat at Reiner's left side.

Before he had a chance to say something he would regret. She sneaked her right her arm under the table, and without anyone noticing, she quickly and viciously jabbed her fork in the tender muscles of the side of his underdeveloped left leg.

She wasn't strong by any means, but perhaps due to sheer despair, she applied enough pressure to pierce a good portion of his leg's skin layer, until it drew 4 tiny rivers of blood.

The message she was trying to convey was clear: «Don't you dare!»

He winced and gasped due to the excruciating pain. However, he knew that she'd tell his secret and ruin his life if he complained, so he tried his hardest not to look like he was in pain.

Pieck knew that Reiner wouldn't be swayed by reason and prudence. The ideological madness implanted upon him since birth shielded him from logic. Therefore, she felt forced to resort to violent methods to get her point across.

"You were saying?" Drake demanded irritated.

"Uhm… these five that are usually near me… they…" he whimpered, struggling to ignore intense damaging stimuli; as 4 sharp, metallic teeth dug deeper into his lateral thigh.

It seemed pain wouldn't silence him. She had to hurt him harder.

Reiner felt the kitchenware utensil twist and wiggle inside his flesh. The sharp edges explored every inch of damaged tissue, scratching every single corner that would make him wish he was euthanized.

Her message was understood. After his free nerve endings screamed for Reiner to do Pieck's bidding, he eventually, though against his will, shut up.

As she ruthlessly brutalized him discreetly, she wore a completely innocent and bored expression, as if she hadn't anything to do with the matter. She was simply looking at her food and eating with one hand… while the other played its villainous role under the table. If one looked hard enough, they'd notice an impish grin on Annie's and Porco's face while Bertholdt and Marcel silently cheered for Pieck, though disinclined.

"What's with the reluctance?... Hey, did they say anything they shouldn't?" Drake questioned suspicious. It wasn't unusual for bad opinions regarding Marley to arise in the academy. For some reason, the children are more inclined to voice their hatred when they're treated like scum.

He felt very tempted to tell the truth right then and there. But then he felt the savage fork leave his leg and ascend up his immature testicles.

"No!" he yelled desperately. "I apologise for my rudeness. It isn't... Anything th-that you are thinking, s-sir... Th-They just... m-made fun of me for... For failing! Yeah, that's right... And then I freaked out and beat Pieck. But we made up now." he lied unconvincingly, forcing a laugh to hide the stress and suffering.

"Whatever it is that is frightening you, remember that the good people of Marley are counting on you. Tell me what really happened." the sergeant took a surprisingly sympathetic tone, as he slowly approached him and squatted down in order to appear less threatening.

Pieck wasn't counting on that. The new position he adopted gave him a better view of what was under the table, including her right arm and Reiner's left leg. In a panic, she had no choice but to throw the bloody fork away before Drake noticed. Fortunately for her, it landed on a grassy terrain, which mitigated the impact noise.

"I meant what I said... It is the truth." Reiner whimpered and stuttered as his eyes grew watery.

"... Did these 5 threaten you?" Drake severely asked with a hoarse voice.

Reiner paused for a moment and looked at the expressions of the cadets the sergeant referred to. They all looked both furious and scared, in each of their own unique way.

" _And Reiner, we're all friends. We're here to help you and support you. Are you really thinking about denouncing us? Why would you do that? Do we mean so little to you?"_ Bertholdt words echoed through his mind.

"N-No... And... All the bad things they said were solely about me... They didn't taint the great name of Marley..."

"Is that so? Very well..." Drake yielded unconvinced, as he stood back up. "As for you, why are you eating with only a knife? Did you lost your fork?" he directed angrier words toward Pieck.

"I am afraid so. I am so very sorry, I feel particularly bad, considering the tight budget that is being utilized for us. I promise I will look for it at once." the raven haired girl spoke as if she was a loving mother who had just killed her child by accident.

"Is it that fork over there?" he pointed his index finger in the direction of a nearby grass tuft, which happened to have a bloody fork on it.

"Why, yes!" she immediately went to collect the utensil. Even though she spoke calmly, on the inside, she was horrified, because she knew she was doomed the second he saw the blood, and there was no way to clean it without looking suspicious.

She timidly returned to her seat, as she hid the fork's edges with her palm. But to no avail. It was evident that she was cornered, when Drake's eyes turned into slits at the sight of her strange behavior.

"Why's that shit bloody? I saw your arm moving earlier. Did you throw that?" he hollered.

The calm and cunning Pieck couldn't think of a valid excuse. She was busted.

"I think I know what happened here…" the sergeant flashed a sadistic smile, as if he had deduced the entire event. "You 6, come with me."

* * *

 

They were taken back inside the main building of the academy, in sergeant Drake's office. The atmosphere of dread and suspense heavily reminded of them of the time where half of their group was isolated in the forest and the other half went to their rescue.

"Now, answer me this: Do you think I was fucking born yesterday? I've had enough of your bullshit, Eldians. Now try again motherfuckers, and this time I want the truth." he roared fuming.

Nobody spoke. They were all terrified, because if they told the truth all of them would perish. Lying would be futile, given the fact that the sergeant had obviously seen right through their deceits, worsening their case. If they remained silent, then they  _might_ suffer a not so gruesome fate.

"Very well. This is not the first time a similar case occurs, nor will it be the last. I have enough experience to spot a Marley antagonizer when I see one by now. The fact that you don't have the decency to speak up is most disadvantageous… for you… But fear not. I don't believe that broken warriors should be disposed of, it is better to fix them. You will learn how your ideals are toxic, and you will learn to place Marley in core of your hearts. You will be put through rehabilitation." he continued, uncharacteristically calm.

Up until that point, they were holding the last flicker of hope they had for dear life. But no more. The worst scenario was about to happen. They were painfully aware that «rehabilitation» meant punishment.

He forcefully gripped one of Reiner's and Pieck's shoulders, and made them face each other.

"Judging by that grisly wound on your leg, I bet you're fucking pissed at this bitch. I think it's time we teach her a lesson, don't you think?" he cruelly whispered in Reiner's ear. "Pieck Stern, remove your clothes." he barked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, writing this chapter was a pain, I barely had time to breath lately, I'm not even sure how I crammed enough time to write this. Fortunately, next week, my schedule is gonna be a little more relaxed, so I'll have more time to write. But damn, I've been dead on social media this month.
> 
> Anyway, I doubt you care about my boring life, so let's jump straight to this chapter: The cast is gonna be put under rehab! Oh my God... er... I mean... Ymir. That's right, Pieck saw that Reiner would rat her out; fearing for her life, she brutalized him in a fit of despair. It worked pretty well for an improvised plan, until she realized she forgot to fit sergeant Drake in the equation. He ain't no retard, so he managed to deduce what had happened.
> 
> The scene where Reiner hit Pieck and the one where Pieck stabbed Reiner with a fork were meant to illustrate how the instructors were succeeding in turning the kids into monsters. That's their end goal. They put them under overwhelming, stressful situations, without resources and stuff exactly in order to turn them into mad dogs. In contrast, Marcel serves as a stabilising and paternal character, proven by the fact that the main group only goes bonkers when he's not around.
> 
> The thing about killing boars also serves to desensitize them, because they are supposed to learn that sometimes killing is good. Especially when that helps Marley. This is just a stepping stool for them to interiorize that killing the "Evil island dwellers" is also good. The instructors were also nice to them after they killed the boars, unconsciously teaching them that killing for the sake of Marley is something to be proud of.
> 
> I decided to give Pieck a last name, or else some of the scenes would be awkward. I literally googled who was the smartest woman in the world and found some chick with an I.Q. Of 200 called Edith Stern, apparently she knew how to speak and calculate before turning 1. Yikes! Since Pieck is supposed to be a smart character, I called her Stern.
> 
> Also, the scene where she stabbed Reiner with a fork was inspired by an episode of South Park, where one of the kids was getting stabbed by a fork by his grandma at the dinner table, because she wanted him to learn how to stand up for himself.


	18. The Janissaries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! This is the first author’s notes that I ever put on the beginning instead of the end of the chapter. Felt like breaking routine. Also, just to remind you what happened last chapter: the heated quarrel between Reiner and the other protagonists took a turn for the absolute worst. Since they disputed very hot-headedly, it was easy to take a guess of why they were fighting. Sergeant Drake believes it was due to critiquing opinions of Marley, so he brought them to his office and will put them under rehabilitation, and it’s not going to be fun.
> 
> Also, I ‘d like to explain why I called this chapter “The Janissaries”. The Janissaries were an elite infantry unit established by the Ottoman Empire in 1362, this unit was formed by the children of the Ottoman Empire’s enemies. They kidnapped the “enemies’ ” children, which mostly consisted of slavic young boys between the ages of 6 and 14, and enslaved them. Then, they broke them physically and psychologically, they were put under some really, REALLY brutal stuff, so that they could become malleable and do what the Turkish people wanted with them. After they instilled every toxic ideology on them and forced them into very harsh trainings, the Janissaries became extremely disciplined warriors who obeyed every word their master spoke, despite the fact that they were treated worse than dogs.
> 
> I thought the parallels between the Janissaries/ Ottoman Empire and Eldia/ Marley were extremely fitting, especially in this chapter.
> 
> Lastly, I would really like to address something that is in the final Author’s Notes. See you until then. Enjoy! : )

"Judging by that grisly wound on your leg, I bet you're fucking pissed at this bitch. I think it's time we teach her a lesson, don't you think?" Sergeant Drake cruelly whispered next to a terrified Reiner's ear. "Pieck Stern, remove your clothes." he barked.

"E-Excuse me...?" the girl in question protested passively.

"If you don't, then I will. All of them. Now." he calmly warned. It was clear that his role as an instructor had vanished for the time being. Otherwise, he would have yelled at her. That was not good.

Struggling to maintain an emotionless face and repressing childish moans of agony, Pieck started undressing slowly, displaying no apparent embarrassment – she didn't hesitate to remove her undergarments, despite the fact that she was undressing herself in front one grown man and 4 boys.

"Tell me, Reiner. Would you like to do anything to her? Anything at all? Don't forget that she deserves any punishment after what she did to you." he darkly seduced like a demon, as he gently reached for the deep wound on the side of his left leg, caused by the naked girl in front of him.

The second his finger lightly touched the sensitive haemorrhage, he instantly flinched.

Annie, Bertholdt and the Galliards powerlessly watched the humiliating ordeal unfold horrified. Granted, no one was paying attention to them, but they still believed that staring at a random spot in Drake's office's ceiling with the straightest face they could conjure was the most morally correct course of action they could take. They prayed that Drake would somehow forget about them.

"N-No, sir..." Reiner denied timid, avoiding to look beneath her neck like plague.

"You do realize that she's an enemy of Marley, correct? If she didn't badmouth the great nation of Marley, which I find very hard to believe, the fact remains that she is still an opponent of the superior race by harming a potential warrior. Have you any idea how much recognition an Eldian would receive if they teach a fellow Eldian their place? A loyal Eldian like that is the ideal chosen contender for a Titan power... Go ahead, release you urges upon her." the adult enticed mischievously.

"I-I apologise, sir... B-But I have no u-urges to release..." the blonde boy opposed dispirited, taking advantage of the man's current docile status.

The children were moved by his decision, because he had demonstrated several times that he would stoop to anything in order to impress the instructors. But to be fair, Reiner had no clue what the word «urges» exactly meant.

"Ugh..." the instructor sighed annoyed. "Of course you don't. You're still far too young to possess impure thoughts like that. However, if you truly believe that she doesn't deserve punishment, then your case is worse than I initially thought... Very well, now it is your turn." he directed this last severe sentence toward Pieck. "Since he attacked you first, you have the moral high ground, meaning you will have the privilege to punish him. Undress him. Keep in mind that we value aggressive and vengeful warriors. Be as violent as you wish."

Pieck nodded professionally and without a word, approached a trembling Reiner and removed his upper clothes gently.

"Sorry... But I really need to become a warrior..." she whispered in his hear discretely before squatting down to remove his lower garments, and pressed his wound ruthlessly in the process.

The pain was too much for him to repress screaming.

"Hmph... Better. Pathetic, but still better. Reiner Braun, you better work harder to please me, she is catching up to you." Drake informed dissatisfied. "Well, we'll continue this later. First, there is something we need to do. Hold on just a second. I will return in a minute. Don't try anything stupid, okay?"

He left his darkly decorated office and strangely left through the large, single window, that resided behind his chair and desk, at the opposite direction of the entrance door.

The office was wide, but simple. It had projector at the ceiling on the left side of the room aimed at a white projection screen, which might explain why it was decorated with dark shades of brown and black, because the darkest the room, the easier it was to watch the projections. Other than that, the only things that filled the office was a large desk (evidently filled with paper work), a sophisticated chair in front of a big window with pitch black curtains and 2 bookshelves bursting with books on each side of the door.

"Is everyone okay?" Marcel asked concerned once Drake left.

"No. Why did you do that, Pieck?" Reiner burst still pained, avoiding eye contact with her nude form.

"Pain comes and goes. Warrior status is a once in a lifetime opportunity. The most rationally and logically correct course of action is doing what he orders without hesitation. He is testing our savagery, in order to examine warrior-like traits. All of us should inflict pain and accept pain without thinking twice, if we want to succeed." she explained emotionlessly.

"You're kidding, right? That's what they want. I'm not playing their twisted game!" Porco protested infuriated.

"I am afraid they do not value independent thinking. They value obedience and ruthlessness exclusively. All of us are here for a reason, and that is obtaining a Titan. Do not lose sight of that, just because of rebellious sentiments. I hate this truth as much as you, but beautiful lies do not offer the Honorary Marleyan Status we desire." she spoke disheartened, rubbing her naked arms against her shrugged frame.

"What? Pieck, look at you! That's just the tip of what they will do to us!" Annie contested tenaciously, with her teeth gritted and her fists hardened.

"I did not expect such a reaction from you, Annie. I pegged you for the most rational member of our group..." she countered confused.

"I came here to receive my warrior training. Nothing else! I'm done with being treated like a doormat!" Annie spat uncharacteristically vexed, as she fought the urge to growl.

Marcel and Bertholdt both moved one friendly hand on each of her shoulders, but yanked it out once...

"I'm back! Now, let's watch a movie." the sergeant returned from the window with a hose on his hand.

It looked like the hose was attached to another side of the building and was stretched in order to fit there. He placed it on his desk and took a remote control from a drawer, aimed it at the projector and pressed a button.

Almost instantly, the projector casted its imagery lights upon the white screen, as Drake covered the window with the dark curtains. The fact that it wasn't used something like a tape and that there weren't any computers connected to said projector led them to believe that it was only capable of showing one film.

None of them was entirely sure what was happening. Poor Eldians like themselves had little to no access to Marley's sophisticated technology. Therefore, they were expecting to see horrid, traumatising pictures when they understood the function of the machine.

They weren't sure if they were glad to see that the moving, black-and-white animations on the white screen seemed more like an historical lesson than simply a ghastly nightmare fuel.

The images started with a normal-looking city market with smiling people, in a beautiful day. Followed by a sparkling lake among verdant meadows, where white birds flew. Nothing out of the ordinary was visible.

"About 1800 years ago, Marley was a powerful and majestic country, whose people rejoiced in the highest quality of life index of the ancient world. It was calm, peaceful, accepting and very generous toward less fortunate countries..." a female recorded voice, that came from the projector, spoke brightly. "Until certain horrible creatures abused this trust and stabbed Marley's prosperity in the back..." her tone turned suddenly dark.

Afterwards, it could be seen an ugly standing woman, whose neutral face was deformed, clothed and adorned luxuriously, displaying an appearance typical of a noble of ancient times. Her extended arms held an apple, and despite her bland expression, there was an incredibly tall demonic-like creature crouching in front of her with a diabolical grin . It's hooves, sharp claws, spiky teeth, pointy ears, big muscles, long tail and pair of goat-like horns strongly resembled contemporary depictions of a Devil.

"You might be wondering who are this vile creatures... They were non other than the people of Eldia. Despite being aware of the Eldians' genetic predisposition for low intelligence and lack of morals, our Marleyan ancestors always helped them. But excessive kindness had terrible consequences. An Eldian blinded by irrational hatred by the name of Ymir, foolishly made a deal with a dreadful Devil, and consequently became the first of all titans, in exchange for her mangled soul." the female voice continued with audible pain in her voice.

Reiner was the only one who seemed to be buying it. If his hands weren't occupied with concealing his exposed genitals, he would have covered his gasping mouth.

Bertholdt trembled as he watched the video confused. He was certain that the devil in the pictures would have to be added to the top of his mental nightmare list. However, everything he saw and heard seemed a little too far-fetched for him to accept as unquestionable truth.

Both Marcel and Porco reluctantly stared at the screen annoyed. There was only one Marleyan who had their trust. The simplest of words spoken by anyone else connected to Marley would be dismissed as lies and propaganda by the brothers.

Pieck had no doubts that they were being fed nothing but lies. It was obvious to her that the drawings only reflected what Marley thought that happened, which further destroyed the veracity of the statements. But the Devil was the most ridiculous part for her.

Annie was growing angrier by the second. She could tolerate any form of abuse, as long as that meant bettering herself as a warrior, which was not the case. Standing her ground was in her nature, but her sense of self-preservation spoke louder. Two deafening voices conflicted inside her head. Knowing that she could be violated like Pieck and Reiner were hit a nerve. Hard. Maintaining her composure was a growing challenge.

The blonde girl wasn't even paying attention, she was merely thinking up of ways to escape, as she pretended to heed the absurd things she was seeing.

"Pay attention!" Drake hollered as he paused the video.

He aimed the hose at Annie and unleashed freezing water with enormous pressure, before doing the same to the others. The 6 children were left drenched in water so painfully cold that they felt like they could warm up inside a fridge.

"If you take your eyes off that again, you'll all pay, and cold will be the least of your worries." he barked.

Cold licked at their faces and crept under the ones who had clothes, spreading across their skin like the lacy tide on a frigid winter beach. With lips turning purple in seconds and their teeth chattering like pneumatic hammers, they honestly preferred being brutally whipped than having to withstand the frostbiting sensation. The worst part: there was nothing that they could do about it.

There was something odd... How did he turn the water on? There wasn't any valve nearby, as the hose was obviously stretched from another part of the building. Perhaps there was someone close to the valve with instructions to turn it on and off when he yanked it? In any case, the video was resumed.

"Ymir Fritz's invincible power was absolute. Fortunately, however, her life and reign of terror naturally ended 13 years after, but the all-mighty Founding Titan left 9 gruesome war lords as her legacy : A successor with the exact same abilities as herself, the Attack Titan, the Armored Titan, the Female Titan, the Jaw Titan, the Beast Titan, the Mule Titan, the Warhammer Titan... and the Colossal Titan; along with a legion of a lesser kin." the voice from the projector continued dramatically.

The picture of a gigantic woman with revealing clothes could be seen holding a horn in her right hand and an angelical ray of light shining from her raised left hand, as 8 other massive, though not as tall as the above mentioned, creatures, 7 males and one female, submissively bowed before her with similar clothing.

"The innately savage and sadistic Eldians used this cursed power to ravage and conquer the world, shamelessly destroying countless populations and cultures in the process, as they happily danced on the carcasses and crumbles that followed their wake... So, so many bright progress was extinguished... Not even the proud, developed country of Marley could resist Eldia's demonic weapons. The beasts eventually invaded us; an ally country that never ignored a plea from their part, no matter how big – our rulers cried for mercy, they offered absurd amounts of wealth in return, but to no avail." the ladylike voice sounded like it was about to cry.

The images shifted to what appeared to be regular Titans arising from a raging ocean under a furious storm, chasing after frightened men dressed like soldiers on border walls, who were unsuccessfully fending off the 'anthropophagus' giants with spears. On the next ones, the Titans appeared to be in a citadel devouring weeping mothers and their children.

"The heartless Eldians weren't satisfied with simply trampling us to the point of extinction, though. Their barbarous urges led them to leave a portion of our population alive so that they could enslave them and force them do their bidding... Oh, how our people suffered! While they led an hedonistic lifestyle, full of luxuries and fun, our poor ancestors were forced to work their energy off in order to meet their demands. And if that wasn't enough, they also forced us to fight to the death just for fun, threw rocks at us whenever they wanted and raped us without repercussions." the recorded voice reported enraged.

Annie, Bertholdt, Marcel, Porco and Pieck thought that was too much. What they were being described was awful, but they found it hard to believe. It was just too far-fetched, not to mention the fact that they got the feeling that video was blatantly painting Eldians with an obviously biased brush that lacked logical consistency.

Reiner, on the other hand, was eating the information with fanatical religious faith, despite the fact that he didn't understand the meaning of several words that he heard. His self-hatred had never been so high before.

Interestingly, the video didn't seem targeted toward children like themselves. Which was evident by the use of rather complicated words. For instance, Pieck was the only one who knew what «rape» meant.

"This was but one of the many evidences of Eldia's laughable stupidity. While they foolishly underestimated the Marleyan people's intelligence and resilience, the 9 war lord Titan houses grew resentful and jealous of one another. Why? Because greed and disloyalty are in the nature of Eldians. They never have enough. They are never satisfied. They always crave for more power. Because of this, the 9 aristocratic families who possessed the power of the Titans started fighting each other, resulting on what we call the Great Titan War."

Then they saw a more simplistic portrayal than the previous ones. It depicted 5 Titans combating in a shattered battlefield, each of them accompanied by a small army. A hammer wielding Titan fought another one with a female body type armed with a giant spear, on opposite cliffs as a quadruple Titan looked as though he was about to jump on an enemy.

"In the midst of this harsh oppression, hope was nearly lost. Until our great country proved it's undeniable nationalist and genetic superiority: Helos, a hero as strong as he was cunning, used his vast intellect to come up with clever schemes to fuel the in-fighting between the Titan houses and strike them down when they least expect it. While they were occupied with their petty conflicts, Helos heroically slew the Devil that originated the terrible Titans, and then conspired with the Tybur family, the house that held the Warhammer Titan, to bring about the fall of their empire… Eldia fell. It was the most unlikely and proliferative victory mankind has ever witnessed…" the voice explained as she was about to break into tears of joy.

They recognized the image that had appeared. It was just like one of the statues in Liberio. Eldians were often executed in front of it. It depicted an attractive man wearing a feathered bicorn hat along with a soldier's tailcoat and breeches, piercing through a fallen Titan's jaw with a lance.

"After the Eldian empire's well deserved demise, the world was able to heal and rise from the ashes once more... And when Marley regained its lost power, it decided not to stoop to the level of the evil Eldians and allowed them to stay in our country out of mercy. Of course, they are still a very disobedient and disorderly demographic, but we are not monsters unlike them..."

They were all dumbfounded. Most of them would feel offended if their emotional deposit wasn't filled with complete and utter shock. What they saw couldn't be real... Right? It all made sense, it aligned perfectly with what they were told from birth, but some things, especially the «Devil», felt like they were still too much of a stretch... No, it couldn't be true...

"When we regained control over the continental mainland, the at-the-time king, Karl Fritz, ran away with his tail between his legs by moving as many Eldians as he could to the Paradis island, and used his Founding Titan to guide a massive number of Colossal Titans in the raising of three gigantic concentric walls around Eldia's remaining territory. In order to force peace between both countries, the coward king gave the ultimatum that any further act of war against Eldia would be met with the releasing of the countless Titans within the Walls. Cowardly, aggressive and incapable of dialogue - typical Eldian behavior." the voice hissed with disgust.

The description matched what they saw: an aerial shot of thousands of people marching on barren land. And then several Titans with small heads and disproportionally huge legs holding hands.

"Make no mistake, Titan powers are demonic. Everything remotely related to Titans originated from demons. It just so happens that Eldians are the only people whose heart pumps Devil blood. For this reason, they are also the only ethnicity capable of wielding the diabolical power. They are the only ones who can turn into Titans. Which is why the surviving Eldians, that we kindly spared; despite deserving slow, painful deaths; have the moral obligation to serve their new country – the great Marley. They are monstrous and vicious by nature, a fact explained by their devilish origins. However, if we instil morals and stimulate their subpar intelligence since childhood, they can grow up as normal and good adults." the voice explained sweetly, implying that being an Eldian was fine as long as one works hard to please Marleyans.

Braun watched a projection of children with «gilly suits» taking a written test intently. It looked like they were just like him, trying their best to become warriors. As the harsh cold started to numb his body, all he could think about was how he wanted to be like them. To break free from his evil Eldian roots and become a good citizen.

"This is an extremely hard feat that few can accomplish, so we should do our best to encourage their contribution. Sadly, however, their skills are limited for the most part, which means their services are better suited in war, with the use of their inherit Titan power." the voice reported before adopting a far darker tone. "Never forget: Eldians deserve any hardship that befalls upon them. The world is in a mess, because of them. They killed, pillaged, ravished and destroyed everything they saw, including our ancestry and cultural identity - this is their retribution. Do not feel sorry for them. They are scum that should have been killed. If they have a shred of decency in their hearts, they will understand this. If not for them, Marley would be Heaven on earth – we have the moral duty to make sure that they are punished."

"You heard her. I'm just doing this to serve my country. From now on, I will not be your instructor anymore, I will be your teacher. Call me professor Dorwee." Drake smiled mischievously, as he made crumpling noises with the hose, menacing not to drench, but to strangle with it.

Apparently, Dorwee was his surname. Marcel found that odd. He had met countless people, both Marleyan and Eldian, through his caretaker's bakery, and Dorwee definitely wasn't a Marleyan surname. He could have sworn he had met one or two Eldians with that last name, though.

"However, the Eldians that are here with us are not completely bad. Some attempt to be virtuous and they are useful on the battlefield. What you should truly despise are the Eldians in the Paradis island. Those belong to a particularly malicious breed of Eldians. When their empire was on the verge of falling, these spineless ones fled to the safety of their wretched island. Had they stayed here and fought alongside their comrades, Marley wouldn't have won. If they are eliminated, the Eldians in here won't have to fight or suffer any longer. The island dwellers are a constant threat to the world that possess the Almighty Power. With it, we can end any problem in the world in an instant. We have to snatch it by any means necessary." the voice detailed angrily.

That part made... some sense. Assuming the Founding Titan's «Almighty Power» is as powerful as they say, taking it does seem like the best course of action, but would that really end the oppression and stigma against the other Eldians? Would the Marleyan government really use it for good? How do they even know the extent of such power?

And for some reason, they couldn't avoid feeling some animosity toward the Eldians in Paradis. Their life was nothing but a pit of misery and suffering because of them. Could that change if they had their revenge?

"I apologise for speaking of those foul creatures for so long, but these vitals truths need to be learned. In conclusion, if we wish for the prosperity of the great country of Marley, we must be like the hero Helos: always stand up for the evil Eldians. If they speak ill of us, like they always did throughout history, denounce them immediately. That is simply a cowardly tactic to make Marleyans doubt and fight one another. We mustn't allow cancerous ideas to bloom. And above all else never forget that a good Eldian is a warrior fighting for us. We are perfect, flawless, we descend form saints. Eldians are primitive Devils, they are merely pawns for war." the recorded voice concluded her speech with a hoarse voice.

"And that concludes the easiest part of your penalty. There were some complicated words in there, but I'm sure you understood everything. And if you didn't..." Dorwee giggled darkly. "You'll see the video enough times to memorize every word... But enough of this, like I said before, I prefer repairing damaged warriors than dispose of them, so I've prepared a very special punishment for each of you. I see striking potential in... most of you. It is my duty as a teacher to stimulate your individual strengths and perfect it..."

As he whispered those malicious words, he approached Annie and stroked her freezing cheek with his corrupt hand. Even though she vividly welcomed his warmth, she was visibly nervous, as she gulped very hard. Normally, she would fight back. But she knew Pieck was right, fighting back meant fighting the warrior status she dreamed of.

He ripped her ragged shirt off and threw her viciously to the ground. Bertholdt screeched like a frightened guinea pig getting strangled.

"Annie Leonhart – Excellent fighting skills, endurance, flexibility and ruthlessness. I know exactly what I'll do with you. If you thought you were in Hell before, just you wait for what I have in store for you..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, finally chapter 18 is over. Not sure I’m too happy with the ending... Anyway, I have a lot of things I want to address.
> 
> First of all, I’ve heard a frightened guinea pig getting strangled, and it’s heartbreaking.   
> Second of all, in the video, it is stated that Yimir looks deformed. I drew this inspiration from the fact that in Germany, when Hitler was in power, there were multiple posters and other means of propaganda scattered across the country that depicted Jews as ugly and deformed to fuel the anti-Semitism sentiment of the people. 
> 
> I decided to give the surname Dorwee to Sergeant Drake, because it is a reference to a renowned child soldier in the civil war in Liberia (that sounds awfully similar to Liberio, the internment zone where the Titan trio lived lol). War messes with people’s heads big time, it can turn otherwise calm, peaceful citizens into psychopathic killing machines, but Dorwee was a boy who was crazy to begin with. He started his killing spree and career as a child soldier shortly after the war began and was so ruthless that he was dubbed “General Crazy”, a title he proudly moved around with, but would kill anyone who called him that. This reflects Drake’s theme and past that I’ll explore later.
> 
> Lastly, forgive me for making this author’s notes enormous, but there’s something important that I have to get off my chest: You probably have noticed that I have been posting new chapters increasingly later. I’ve only posted one per month lately, which means you’ll only be able to read a new one when the hype has died down and when you don’t remember much.
> 
> I apologize for this. But the thing is, my enjoyment in writing this story has diminished a lot. When I started writing this, I was very excited and very proud of this work, because I don’t usually commit myself to stuff like I did with this and also because this was the first time I wrote. I had, and still do, plenty of ideas I thought would be good and interesting. However, as time went on I just ended up scrapping them or postponing them, because I felt they would fit better later. For instance, I already have Reiner’s origins made up, but have been postponing it until he meets his mom or something. 
> 
> But due this, I had to improvise something to spice up each chapter, because I hate it when nothing big happens on one of my chapters, like this one for example. I just lost my drive so much I don’t even care that much. Finishing this chapter was a pain. 
> 
> When I started losing my interest, I thought it was because of real life stuff. I don’t have much free time, you see. But then I started writing my fanfic for Danganronpa and felt exactly what I felt when I started writing this: enthusiasm, drive, I never procrastinated. On the other hand, I eventually started procrastinating like crazy with this one, I started seeing it like a chore.
> 
> Since writing is supposed to be something fun and not a chore, I decided I will let this fanfic rest for the time being, until I pick up my drive again. If I keep forcing myself to write on something that doesn’t bring joy like it used to, I’ll only feel lazier. 
> 
> Don’t get me wrong, I won’t give up on writing on this. I won’t die until I finish this story, that much I guarantee. I have way too many ideas and twists in store to let this die (like Reiner’s backstory, in this chapter alone, I planted a few seeds in the narrative that I’m planning to explore. Even if my viewers lose all interest and nobody reads this anymore (which I hope doesn’t happen, but I can’t really blame you if you do XD), I will finish this eventually, if not for others, then for myself. 
> 
> Speaking of my viewers, I have to thank you all. Seriously, thank you so much to everyone who commented, reviewed, favourited, followed, bookmarked, left kudos, or just read, I love you all! I have to give special thanks Scattershot98, who was the most loyal follower of all and supported me since day one, I’ll read you new chapter soon, buddy ;)


	19. Predecessors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who went ended their hiatus! Me! That's right, I'm not dead! Even I was starting to wonder whether or not I was alive! It's been over half a year since I last posted. It feels like it was yesterday... Damn, time flies... I'm sorry for that. If you have any recollection of what happened previously in this story, then you have grandmaster material.
> 
> I'll just do a quick recap of what happened in the last chapter. Reiner, Bertholdt, Annie, Porco, Marcel and Pieck saw a propaganda video before their punishment begins. Sure, seeing a video won't brainwash someone immediately, but if you see and hear the same thing over and over again, you will start believing it. This is politics 101. Their training will now intensify.
> 
> There are a lot of other things that I want to say, but I have kept you waiting long enough. See you at the closing AN! Enjoy!

" _It's happening, guys! We went through a lot shit together, we almost failed multiple times... but we still showed those fuckers who's boss! I'm proud of you all!" Drake rallied as he pulled his comrades... no, his friends into a tight hug._

" _Right?! Fuck, can you believe that_ _ **we're**_ _the ones who are wearing these godamned_   _uniforms now! A shame that it looks awful..." another one said as he examined the piece of clothing he came to hate._

" _Ah! That's because it's on you, 'Dicklan_ '"  _a third man joked, laughing as he pointed an insulting finger at the friend he loved to tease with the derogatory nickname._

_He wasn't laughing because he thought his insult was humorous or witty, he just loved to squeeze those juicy reactions._

" _Gr... Oh, that does it, Nilote! I ain't gonna let you ruin the big day! You're gonna get it mothefucka_ ' _! That's right. You and me. Right here. Right now. Come on. Come on!" Dylan, his actual name, countered irritated after having enough of the other's provocation._

" _Um... Wait, won't you get in trouble if you kill each other?" a woman curiously asked._

" _They're not gonna actually fight to the death, silly." another female replied with an eye roll._

" _Huh? But isn't the purpose of a fight killing your opponent?"_

" _Seriously, Eve, get a 'Social Skills for Dummies' manual or something. Sometimes fights have other intentions, in this case, 'Dicklan_ '  _wants to release his sexual frustrations on Nilote." she teased as well with an arrogant expression._

" _Oh. Ok." Eve casually answered._

" _Hahahaha! Good one, Wur! That's my girl!" Nilote_   _gave her an high-five._

" _You too, Wurtzite? That's it! I ain't playing anymore! I'ma_   _cut a bitch!" Dylan's temper flared._

" _Kyaahhh! I'm sorry! Please don't hurt me! Especially not in the face! I'm too hot!" Wurtzite_   _squealed and cowered behind her teasing accomplice._

" _Damn... For someone so catty, you're kinda of a whimp." Drake remarked amused._

_Dylan then unloaded his anger upon a laughing Nilote... but it was just playful roughhousing._

" _Are you sure they are not attempting to murder one another? Perhaps we should intervene." Eve said calmly._

" _No, Eve. They're clearly just fucking around." Wurtzite_   _sighed condescendingly after recomposing herself._

" _Ok."_

_It was a much needed and deserved light-hearted moment. They felt like happy feelings like those had been sucked out of them beyond salvation ages ago. But they were fortunately wrong. Underneath hardship lies success, which always brings joy._

_Which is why the sound of sniffing felt awkward._

" _Huh? Lockhart, are you crying?" Drake questioned taken back._

" _Oh... It's nothing, it's just... We've been through so much together... We endured so much, but we still came out on top... together. But now, we'll..._ _ **move on**_ _to the next step together ." the crying girl explained._

" _Yeah... about that... Guys, I need you to listen to something... It's important." Drake's voice took a more serious tone as he scratched the back of his head._

" _Are you finally admitting you have a drinking problem?" Nilote_   _gleefully asked._

" _What? No! Listen, you might think that we're prepared for our mission ahead... but don't forget, the guys before us... the ones we're taking the mantle of... they were given psychologically training for what laid ahead of them, but they still completely snapped, like, big time..." he struggled to find the right things to say._

" _... I know... To be honest, that scares the hell out of me... I wish I could just tell myself that I'll be more resilient than they were... but then I look at how low they fell... It's a scary thought... ending like that..." Wurtzite_   _confessed suddenly disheartened._

" _I don't find it scary... It's just... sad. Traumatized by war. Living shell-shocked. Having a mind beyond repair... Living devoid of happiness is a fate worse than death. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy." Lockhart said morbidly._

" _PTSD does seem to be a common trend... But we cannot know for sure whether or not we will have it in the future. Besides, we will receive persistent counselling and support; surely, we will be at peace, right?" Eve pointed out._

" _Nope. Me after a nice 20 ounce sirloin is being at peace. Those guys are fucking nuts." Nilote_   _joked his anxiety away._

" _Yeah, right... You know, if I become a shell of what I used to be, then so be it. My country is all that matters. But if it doesn't treat me with the consideration I deserve in return, I'll be fucking pissed. We're people, not pawns." Dylan grumbled._

" _Exactly... I want you all to promise something. No matter what we face, no matter what we become, Promise me you won't let war change you; you won't fall like the people who gave us their blessing. But above all else, if one of us breaks, the others must be there to support them, and show them that they are not alone." Drake clenched his fists with determination and spoke confidently._

" _I promise! No one gets left behind!" Dylan extended his hand forward._

" _Right! You don't need to be scared! We'll always be there for each other!" Wurtzite_   _put her hand on the Dylan's._

" _And if you feel like crying, we can dry our eyes together." Carrie placed her hand on the others._

" _Oh, why not? Sure, I promise too... And now that we're in this sentimental, mutual support thing, can we finally address Drake's serious alcoholism?" Nilote_   _said before putting his hand on Carrie's._

_Drake cleared his throat embarrassed. "Moving back, to the topic at hand... I'm going beast mode any of you who breaks this promise. It's a deal!" he imitated the gesture._

" _What he said." Eve uttered with her arms crossed._

_The other five arched their eyebrows at her, pointing at the pile of hands with their eyes._

" _...Oh! Am I supposed to do that hand thing too? Ok. Sorry." she complied._

_And with that. The six of them swore that they would remain united and strong like a bundle of sticks..._

* * *

" _Annie Leonhart_  –  _Excellent fighting skills, endurance, flexibility and ruthlessness. I know exactly what I'll do with you. If you thought you were in Hell before, just you wait for what I have in store for you..."_ she recalled her instructor's words begrudgingly.

She felt cold. She felt powerless. She felt desperate… She felt angry.  _Very_  angry.

But worst of all, she felt weak. That was a terrible combination. Terrible for anyone who isn't Annie that is. Even her father has had a taste of her berserker's rage when he pushed her too hard. He wouldn't use a cane otherwise. Granted, it didn't end well for her either, but she still proud herself in her sense of powerfulness.

But in that moment, she was but a wounded rabbit on a wolf's den.

_A lonely rabbit..._

Annie liked training alone and fighting alone. She liked eating alone and resting alone… But when she saw a woman with her child, kids playing in the sun, her friends away when she needed them, she realized that despite liking being alone, she hated being lonely.

_Marcel… Bertholdt… Father… someone, please save me._

"Leonhart, meet your new mentor, Eve Penner." Dorwee announced, gesturing at the woman next to him.

She appeared to be the same age as him, couldn't be older than 20. And was likewise dressed the same, with a drill sergeant uniform. Her face had «well fed» written all over it, signaling her Marleyan status. It didn't indicate perfect health, though. Judging by the dark circles under her dry eyes, she surely had terrible sleeping habits.

"I'll go check on the others. Take it from here, Penner." the man departed.

For a while, Annie and Eve simply stared at each other intently, as if they were testing which one of them would give in and look away first.

The woman's stone-cold expression was completely hollow. Her eyes looked like soulless pits drawing her in closer to her death.

If that was a strategy to make her feel uncomfortable and dominated... it was working...

"Have you examined this facility?" the instructor asked emotionlessly.

"Yes, ma'am."

They were in a spacious dojo inside the academy, decorated with the dark and brown colors of Marley and tapestries with the image of Marley's supposed hero, Helos, piercing through a fallen titan's jaw with a spear.

What struck out the most was huge collection of steel-studded wooden anthropomorphic mannequins somewhat taller than her, each divided into three spinning portions, which had spiky clubs emerging from it.

Annie didn't need to touch them to know that they would spin at the slightest connection. She deduced the reason why they were so close to each other, was due to the fact that when a portion rotates, its clubs hit against the ones from another mannequin, making them whirl as well, which in turn would do the same to the surrounding mannequins, eventually transforming the dojo into one spiralling mess of spinning steel-studded dolls.

_Clever. This is certainly far more complex than father's regimen. This must require insane amounts of reflexes to avoid or counter the clubs. One tiny slip-up and I'll be battered all around! This won't be easy... Still, I'm agile, small, and I have pretty good reflexes. So I have that going for me... Plus, I flew through everything so far. Oh, I'll make it. I'll make it big time._

"Then do I need to explain, or is it self explanatory?"

"All I have to do is cross to the other part of the room without getting hurt, correct?"

"Yes."

_Is that all you have to say? Okay..._

"Very well... May I commence, ma'am?"

"Yes."

She approached the legion of intimidating mannequins and started to calculate how would she move and contort herself through the gaps in order to avoid touching anything. Though relatively confident, she took a deep breath to mentally brace herself for unexpected blows.

"Wait." the mentor called before Annie began.

"Yes, ma'am?"

"Memorize this: The regions located to the north of Marley are largely covered with snow."

"Yes, ma'am! I will." she complied confused.

_Huh? Where did that come from? The regions to the north of Marley are snowy... I don't see how that's remotely relevant to anything..._ Is that some sort of riddle? Or is it just a distraction?...  _No matter. I'll crack this case once I'm done. I'm sure Pieck will love to think this through. Still, I should see if I can extract more out of her..._

"... May I ask why-" Annie asked politely.

"I said memorize." Eve interrupted.

_Weirdo... And they call me aloof. Her perpetually blank face is giving me the creeps. I think I like that loose canon Dorwee_   _better... Well, whatever, I'm here to win. The faster I complete this, the faster I can get out of here. To hell with this punishment, I'm better than everyone in here._

"Are you angry?"

"Angry?" she was taken back by the unusual question. Wasn't she there to train? "No, I-"

Eve slapped her cheek before she could finish her sentence. The instructor obviously packed a huge punch if she hurt Annie so hard so quickly. Maybe she didn't have as good reflexes as she thought, because she didn't see that slap coming at all...

"Liar." Eve spat with a slight touch of anger herself.

" _Calm down, Annie. Remember what Pieck said. Don't fight back. You can't let this opportunity go to waste."_ Annie thought as she fought an urge to growl.

"You'll have to learn how to lie better, if you ever step foot in Paradis. But in here, no lies." the mentor reverted back into her blank state.

"I am sorry, ma'am."

"Liar." she slapped her again.

What was she? A telepath? Annie was indeed lying, but what does that matter? Wasn't the purpose of being there crossing the damn thing?

"Anger is dangerous. There are no feelings on the battlefield!"

Her fists were tightly shut. She exhaled deeply and slowly in desperate attempts to expel the anger out.

" _Comply. Comply. Comply. Comply."_ she repeated like mantra in her head.

That was when she realized she was doing exactly what they wanted... She was becoming one more sick tool. She promised herself she wouldn't give in, but... there was no other way...

_It's okay, Annie. You'll just have to follow along for now. Once you're a Titan with Honorary Marleyan status. You can kiss this weaklings goodbye and live like a goddess. Hmm... When that day comes, I just might take revenge with my power..._

"Do you think you are better than the other children you are competing with?" Eve questioned vacantly.

Annie pondered denying for a moment. After all, showing arrogance to an authority figure was rude, and she needed to be seen in a positive light. But since the adult had such a ominous knack for spotting lies...

"Honestly... Yes. Yes, I do." she confessed with her head up high.

Eve's slightly irritated features softened.

"Haughty." the mentor accused. "Not necessarily a bad thing, were you, in fact, better than the others. However, Marcel Galliard seems somewhat superior to you overall."

_Grr. What's the point of this. Can't I just start already?_

"Believing you are superior to others to the point of valuing your own skills alone is dangerous. I can tell you first hand."

Annie was at a loss for words. Who the hell was she anyway?

"Haven't you realized why you are here?"

"... Isn't this my punishment?"

"In part. It is also a reward." Eve stated matter-of-factually.

"A reward?" she questioned dumbfounded.

_Hmmm... That does make sense... Why else would I be given this fancy training? Huh, that idiot Reiner might be a little genius pretending to be stupid after all..._

"Marley cannot afford to simply forfeit your potential. The qualities that Drake Dorwee claimed you possess render you a perfect candidate for the Female Titan." Eve said.

"The Female Titan!?" Annie lightly gasped.

Pleased? Absolutely. Surprised? Not even slightly. Most competitors in that academy would gladly kill if that meant they could have one tenth of Annie's skill. However, on one hand, she felt proud of herself. On the other hand... the Female Titan? Was that really the one she deserved? She couldn't deny she was expecting the Colossal Titan or the Armored Titan...

_Good enough. The Female gets the job done and that's what it matters... Way to go, Annie. Father will be proud..._

"You still haven't figured out who I am, have you?"

"Um...-"

"I am the Female Titan."

Her eyes wide opened.

That woman... she would eat that woman one day...

She knew that was an essential part of becoming a Titan, but she never really thought about... having to eat someone...

And yet the mentor showed no emotion whatsoever. There was no way in hell Annie would ever allow someone to harm her, let alone eat her! She would enjoy every millisecond of her life, after all she went through. No amount of brainwashing would ever change that!

"And you are to be my successor. That is why you will hone your agility, speed, reflexes and contortion skills now."

She couldn't avoid wondering if she would ever sink to... that level. Would she ever become like her? A disgustingly obedient weapon with no will of its own, who accepts her demise without sentiments?

_Hell no! I will never._ _**Never** _ _. Be like her. This woman, she makes me want to vomit. You'd catch me dead before I remotely resemble this piece of crap. I'm miles away better than she will ever be!_

Was she? Was she really better than her? Better yet, would she really not become like Eve?

Thinking about it hurt...

 

* * *

 

 

"Come." Dorwee's hoarse voice commanded him to follow.

Porco complied, but he refused to answer. He still held a fierce grudge against the man, for what he did the day before.

With a never-wavering frown, he couldn't avoid getting anxious as he roamed the unfamiliar darkly colored halls, especially with someone who could surprise him any second.

A couple of guards allowed them to pass through a door he never felt curious to investigate, as it was strictly forbidden to enter. They were now in off-limits territory.

"Curious to know why we forbid you to go here?" the man asked clearly excited.

"... No, sir." Porco grumbled, still refusing to make eye contact.

"You'll see soon enough." he laughed.

Dorwee pulled a small key out of his pocket and unlocked another door in the hall.

"Duck."

_Huh?_

As soon as turned the doorknob. Something, that he barely had time to recognize what is was, shot at him lightning fast.

An arrow. And it barely missed. Had he not be warned, he would have died right then and there.

_Fuck! Why the hell did I come here?! This sucks! This is like, the billionth time I almost got killed since I came here... Oh... Marcel, I should have listened to you... I should have let you have a shot with the Marleyan Government Program by yourself, since you clearly don't need any help at all to kick ass. I should have stayed home with Bithiah, and her sweet, sweet pastries..._

_Gah! No, what am I thinking? I couldn't have left him behind! Even if he doesn't need me, Marcel is my brother, supporting him is the least I could do!_

"You dead?" the adult joked.

"No, sir." he rolled his eyes.

"Good. That's  _usually_ what happens when people come here with me... Now, from here forward, you'll have to walk close to the wall. Long story short, you'll die otherwise."

_Is it a fake floor and we'll fall to our deaths or something?! Gah! Where the hell are we going anyway? No other place in the academy is booby trapped... Hm... What if... what if I push this guy? He'd step outside of the wall's vicinity and, supposedly, die... Nah, bad idea. There's no way I'd get away with it. Plus, his balance is probably trained to max anyway._

They proceeded the next hall with their backs touching the wall. The only sound they heard were their clothes sliding against it.

When they met the next door, the process was repeated: Dorwee unlocked the door, then he said "Dodge.", but this time, an axe tied to a rope swung in his direction.

They crossed more walls, more doors and more traps: anvils, flamethrowers, swords tied to ropes, bullets, more arrows...

If the end of the halls shone, he would have believed he was in his death bed, which wasn't hard to imagine, since he cheated death, like a hundred times that day alone.

_Shit! Shit! Shit! Marcel, I need you..._

"Alright. Here it is." Dorwee said.

_What the hell?! What is it that they're protecting so bad?_

The final hall was completely covered in razor sharp caltrop. One wrong step and their feet would have more holes than a bagel shop.

Dorwee carefully removed some of the caltrop and piled them up somewhere, so that the brown brick floor could be seen.

Though it took some time, he removed a loose brick from the floor, and the ones that surrounded it, revealing a hidden trapdoor.

He opened it, and then they climbed down the stairs.

"We're almost there." the man said as he turned on the lights.

_About time!... Whatever it is that they're guarding must be really something else, if they go to all this trouble… But why isn't anyone keeping watch if they're so worried someone might come here?_

At the distance, he could see a caged metal door with several locks. He could barely tell it was made of metal, since it was filled with signs saying «Get out» and «Keep away». Even a Titan transformation 's energy blast would have a hard time busting that thing open, which wouldn't even happen in the first place, since transforming in such a narrow place would be suicide for a shifter.

The hallway was particularly dusty… Surely, few were the ones who roamed there.

"Boron! It's me! Open up!" the man called as he stood in front of the door.

Normally, someone would knock the door, but that one was caged with a mean, spiky fence, that shone brighter than ordinary metal, it must have been wet with something…

_Is that… poison!? What the actual fuck! Is this Boron guy a god or something? I wouldn't be surprised if the fence was electrified too!_

" _OUT! GET OUT! I SWEAR, I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU, IF YOU DON'T GET THE FUCK OUT!" a female, hoarse voice roared absolutely livid._

_Holy shit! I haven't heard anyone so enraged, since… huh, I can't think of a time I heard someone so enraged… well, who cares, this is giving me the creeps, I just hope this ends quickly._

"It's okay, Boron, it's me, Drake. You can open." he called out soothingly.

"O-Oh… I-Is it about the kid?!" she asked nervously, still on the other side of the massive door.

"Yup. Don't worry, he's harmless!"

"Are you sure? Did you search him thoroughly?!" she asked cautious.

_What? Don't tell me she's actually scared of me! I'm the one who should be scared. This chick ain't right…_

"Um… o-okay… I'll open… But, you'll stay with me, right Drake?!"

"I'll always be here for you, Boron. You are safe and sound." he calmed her down.

Without a word they started hearing loud mechanical sounds repeatedly.

"S-Sir, is she… gonna shoot?!" Porco had to ask. His instincts were already hones to react to any sound that remotely resembled a fire weapon.

"It's not what you're thinking. She's just disarming the traps she set on the entrance." Drake calmly informed without sparing him a look.

Finally, she timidly opened the door and dispersed the fence in front of it.

That… Boron lady was much younger than he expected. If he had to guess, he'd say she was nineteen. She approached slowly, with trembling eyes, holding a shotgun firmly, pointed at him.

Particularly bulky for her sex, what stuck out for him the most was the tinfoil hat she sported. And judging by her long hair and dilated pupils, she must hate sunlight.

Her booted feet were surrounded by bear traps too. In fact, after glancing at her room, if that's what you call that… the floor was filled with nasty bear traps. So she must walk incredibly carefully around.

_You could offer a me a billion bucks, I wouldn't mess with this chick…_

"Wurtzite Boron, this is Porco Galliard. Porco Galliard, this is Wurtzite Boron. You will be mentor and pupil from now on." Drake casually introduced them, gesturing back and fort between them.

_Mentor?! Wait, what? Why? Wasn't I supposed to get punished because of that idiot Reiner?_

"Porco, huh?... Hands where I can see them!" she angrily pointed the shotgun at his forehead, causing him to throw his hands up in the air (like he didn't just care XD lol sorry, ignore this) as a knee jerk reaction.

"Hey, take it easy, Boron! I told you he's harmless."

"Bullshit. I bet he's an enemy spy out to get my ass!" she yelled angrily as she forcefully rammed the shotgun barrel against his forehead, causing him to scream. "Who do you work for?!"

"Boron, stop! He's not a spy!" Dorwee intervened, pulling her in.

"Please… Please, ma'am, don't hurt me! Please don't hurt me! I-I don't mean you no harm… or anyone for that matter. I'm no spy, I'm just a kid…" Porco bawled in his defense, still holding his shaking hands in the air.

"Huh?" her rigid features softened abruptly.

As he backed away slowly with snot going down his nose, he seriously considered making a run for it. For a split second, he fantasized about fleeing that hellhole, somehow without getting caught, with Marcel by his side; or in his arms kicking and screaming if he refused.

He wanted to run as far as his legs could take him until his fear ceased.

But was there really such a place? Could Porco find somewhere where he could feel at peace, without having a madwoman pointing a lethal weapon at his head? He wasn't sure… but he did know that living in fear wasn't really living, it was just existing. He wanted to live.

And at that moment, he wasn't living… He wanted more than existing… It was funny, inside the narrow hole in the shotgun barrel that he stared at, he could almost see his life up until that point… It had been tough, but it had joy, most of which he shared with his brother. Despite the hardship, he did live.

_Oh Marcel, get me out of here… I know you've saved plenty of times already, but I promise this is the last time I ask you. Get me out of here. I'm sorry, but this is too much for me. I wanna quit._

"P-Porco… tell me… wh-what do you want?" she meekly asked in a sudden docile state.

"I-I… I wanna get out of here! I tried to be strong, but I give up! Happy? You win! So please, please just take me home already! Fine me, punish me if you want, but please just take me home. Or at least… just let me see my brother Marcel… Is he okay? Please tell me he is… Can I at least see him again, please!" he shouted as he finally released the long suppressed water-works.

"What are you talking about?" Dorwee rolled his eyes at Porco's suggestion, as if giving up the chance of becoming a hero of the nation was the epitome of absurdness.

"P-Porco… are you… are you scared?" Wurtzite asked innocently, as though she was asking about his darkest secret.

"Yeah, I'm scared… That's what you wanted, right? Now take me home, I won't bother you anymore…" he answered completely disheartened.

Truthfully, he wanted to lash out far harsher words, but again, there was a reason why he openly admitted he was frightened…

"S-Scared… scared?" she asked for clarification as if he had said the strangest thing in the world.

_Wha_ …  _What?!_

She carelessly tossed her weapon aside and gave him a tight hug.

"It's okay! Don't be scared! I'll protect you, you understand?" she whispered in his ear as she stroked his hair protectively.

"Uh… yes, ma'am…" he said absolutely dumbfounded.

_What the hell? She was hurting me and pointing a gun at my head a minute ago! And now she's giving me a heartfelt hug? Yup, I'm totally quitting._

"And don't call me «ma'am». Call me Wur… no, call me big sister!" Wurtzite said.

_Huh?! She's beyond crazy! Yup, I'm totally quitting now…_

"Now that the violent atmosphere is gone, I take it you will take your job seriously now, Boron?" Dorwee said relieved. He didn't seem phased at all by her uncanny behavior.

She nodded. "Are you leaving?"

"I have to check on the others… But I promise I'll be back."

"Uh… Okay… Stay safe out there. Don't let your guard down, okay?" she warned him concerned.

_Why is she acting like it's dangerous out there? The only danger in here is him!_

"You know me, I'll be fine… Hey kid, take care of her…" he joked with a wink before departing.

"Bye…" she awkwardly muttered as he left, staring at him longingly.

"Alright, first things first, put this on." she spoke assertively as she placed a ridiculously long tinfoil hat on his head.

"Why?!" he protested the ridiculous thing.

"The enemy might be listening in on us… This keeps them from meddling with our minds. Never take it off, okay?" she warned aggressively.

_Paranoid much? Seriously, I don't know what she's been smoking, but I really need some of it right now…_

"Ma'am - I mean… Wur, who exactly is this enemy?" he asked confused.

"Good question. I initially thought it was just the Eldians in Paradis, but it turns out pretty much every other country is a huge piece shit!" she spat with discus. "Those ungrateful bastards are just waiting for their chance to strike, they have spies infiltrated  _everywhere_! That's why you can't take that off!"

_Riiiiiight_ …

"Worst part is that nobody believes in me! But… you do, right 'Poko'?!" she said sweetly.

"Um… I guess?!" he replied awkwardly.

_First of all, hell no. Second of all, Poko? Really?_

"Oh, you're sooo cute!" she exclaimed delighted as she pinched his cheeks and kissed his forehead. "You're gonna be the Armored Titan who'll crush our opposition and strike fear in the hearts of those who want to terrorize this great country!"

"Wait what!?" he couldn't believe what he had just heard.

It was… impossible, right?

"That's right! It was decided that you have the best Armored Titan material."

"S-So…  _you_ 're the Armored Titan?!"

"Uh-huh. I know, I know, it must feel weird having an amazing hero for a big sister." she boasted.

That was too much to take in.  _That_  crazy, scaredy-pants lady was the great Armored Titan?

More importantly, Dorwee had specifically said that they were to be punished. Becoming the Armored Titan was the last thing that came to mind when he thought of the word 'punishment'.

There had to be a catch…

"But… I was told that I'd receive punishment…"

"Yes, I was informed of your shenanigans. Don't worry, we'll pluck those dangerous ideas out, you naughty children were too good to be disposed of." she assured him innocently.

"Wait, so Marcel will become a Titan too?" he decided to ignore that last remark.

"You mean one of the other boys who was with you? He will."

_I-I did it… I can't believe I did it! No, we did it, Marcel… If not for you…_

Reality still hadn't sink in. He was sure in a few days, he would jump in delight and pride with himself, because he honestly thought his chances were toast the second he was suspected of criticizing Marley. In fact, he still wasn't quite sure whether or not he believed her in the first place.

"Now, come on in…" she invited. "Oh, and look out for the bear traps. These guys will save my ass one day."

Reluctantly, he followed her to her chambers, with his eyes fixated on the dreadful floor.

And boy, was he mistaken if he thought that was just her room. There were several lights on shining over a huge, sophisticated, albeit disorganized gym. No wonder she was so bulky, working out was probably all she did on her free time. There were several weights and barbells, dumbbells, kettlebells, benches, suspension trainers, dripping bars and many other fancy things he never saw before scattered irregularly throughout the room.

Interestingly, the bathroom and living room had no walls separating them. In fact, the whole room only had only four walls and no windows.

"Walls mean hiding places. Never give your enemies hiding places, 'Poko'."

_Oh, so that's why…_

The tough gym equipment sharply contrasted with her princess-like bedroom. It was as fancy as they get. Curtains, cushions, several layers of pink blankets… He could see a handgun on the hard-steel bedside table, but judging by the short period of time in which he knew her, he was sure there were a lot more hidden nearby.

_Damn, what is the great Armored Titan so afraid of anyway? Literally, no one will ever come here…_

If he wasn't so used to the huge class difference by now, he would have felt extremely jealous of her wealth.

Right next to her bed, there was a clean toilet with a bear trap on top of the seat, with toilet paper right in the middle; leaving Porco wondering whether on not Wurtzite was a masochist.

"Ah… here it is… oh, this brings such good memories!" she said as she unlocked one of the big steel boxes dispersed around the room.

She was referring to a small suit of ivory armor with a simple design , whose size fit Porco's.

"It takes a while, but you get used to wearing it. Then when you take it off, it actually feels like you surpassed your personal potential. Feels amazing." she casually explained.

"Oh, so, like, am I supposed to, like, get acquainted with it or something?" he asked.

"Pretty much. You don't wanna get confused when you turn into the Armored. - Well, if I decide you're fit for it in the first place, that is… Oh, look at us! You're trying your big sister's clothes! This is so sweet!" she hugged him and pinched his cheeks.

_Oh, I will be the Armored Titan alright! You'll see! You'll all see that I don't need no help!_

"Gah!" she jumped in a knee jerk reaction.

"What is it?!" he asked puzzled over her weird reaction.

"Shh…" she silenced him as her eyes turned into slits, her gaze directed at the barricaded door.

"L-Lady Wurtzite Boron… m-ma'am… I uh… I have your lunch here… C-Could you please open up so I can give it to you?!" an anxious unknown male voice called out from outside.

"GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!" she roared as she picked up the handgun that was on her bedside table.

"What's wrong?! Isn't he trying to help you?" he asked.

"Ma'am, please! I am not a spy! I just want to deliver you your meal." the man called desperate to leave.

Growling indecipherably, she gracefully avoided the traps, opened the door lightning fast and shot the poor man in the forehead. Utter shock and confusion would be frozen in his face until the day his corpse decomposed completely, leaving only bloody brain fragments and a generous meal on the floor as a memento.

She immediately slammed the door shut, as though she was wary of sharks attracted by her victim's blood, but the fraction of a second in which he saw the man's horrified face was more than enough for him to memorize it for the rest of his life.

Porco was certainly not fond of Marleyans. Especially not Marleyans who supported all the admonishment he and his friends went through, but still… Even Porco felt a great deal of empathy for the nameless carcass. At the end of the day, he was just a loyal, hard-working bee striving to serve his beehive; only to be ruthlessly finished by the queen for no particular reason. He could relate to that.

"Fucking coward spies!" she grumbled under her breath. "How many of them do I have to kill 'till they learn I wasn't born yesterday…? Especially now that Marley's brilliant geologists determined that there is magma beneath the ground..."

_What the hell did she say? Bitch makes no sense! She's completely nuts! Can't she see that she's paranoid as all Hell? I-I'm not sure if I want to be around this chick, my own ass is more important than a Titan…_

"Oh, look at you, you're shaking! That didn't frighten you did it, Poko? Well, your big sister will be your armor… Now… time to prove yourself as my successor…" she whispered as she approached him with open arms, surprisingly okay with the fact that she will give her life to him.

Give her life to her little brother.

 

* * *

 

 

"Sir, may I ask… Are Porco and the others alright?" Marcel politely questioned.

"No, you may not." Dorwee dismissed annoyed.

_Hmph_ …  _Well, if I'm unscathed so far, the others are probably okay too… Unless, they're planning on torture them while I watch! Nah, unlikely…_

Marcel was being escorted by Dorwee to the instructors' facility in the academy. It was much bigger than the ones where the children slept, ate and trained; despite being having far shorter numbers. It was also in tremendously better conditions, as everywhere he looked, the comfortable couches, the floor, doors, walls were sparkly clean and exuded a pleasant aroma.

_I gotta admit I was always curious about how this place looked like, but given that we were told we would be punished, I'd rather stay away. But why don't they just expel us already since we made such 'grossly offensive' acts? I'm surprised they haven't killed me already. What's the point of bringing me to a fancy, off-limits place?_

"Then… could you please clarify what am I to do, sir?" he asked.

"You'll see." the man said without looking at him.

_Okay… I'll be optimistic and assume things aren't as bleak as I'm expecting._

They didn't walk much after entering, they went straight to a room with a sign that read «Infirmary».

"Infirmary? Are you not feeling well, sir?" he inquired respectfully, though not actually concerned in the slightest.

"If things don't go perfectly, neither of us will be feeling well at all." the man released tension with a deep sigh. "Okay… Here we go."

_Hmm… This isn't good… But I've crawled far enough. There ain't no way I'm turning back now!_

Dorwee nervously turned the shiny doornob, and a curious Marcel entered without thinking twice.

The wide place boasted predominantly white and bright colors, each bed separated by blue curtains. It looked more than equipped to thoroughly provide care of the sick and injured warriors.

Interestingly, unlike everything else in the academy, the Marleyan infirmary was just as extravagant and high budget as the one for the children.

They can't afford to damage their tools after all…

Other than that, Marcel didn't see anything out of the ordinary that could cause Dorwee to feel anxious.

Or… this is what Marcel would think if it weren't for the various troops armed to the teeth, sporting helmets with windscreens and all as though they were in the middle of a full blown war. He could count no less than twenty of them.

They didn't react aggressively at least, they merely stood protectively in front of one of the beds concealed by the curtains.

"Sir, what is the meaning of this?" he gasped perplexed.

"How's he doing?" Dorwee asked one of the troops, choosing to ignore the child.

"Badly. The pills' calming effect on his fits are decreasing by the day. We believe his body is developing defenses against the medication…" the soldier responded worried.

"No… it's his psychosis that's getting worse… This is my fault… I should have st…" the word fell apart with a disheartened sigh. "It doesn't matter now… Kid, sorry, we tried to weaken the beast for you, but this is all we could do. You're the top student, so you get the most… let's say, difficult mentor to deal with. So… congratulations… I guess…"

"The top student…? Mentor…? This… this ain't a punishment, is it, sir? It's a reward…!" he said.

He was still confused. He could hear muffled growling coming from behind the blue curtain… Why would his supposed mentor be making such noises?

_Well, I'm the top student, whatever it is behind that, I can handle it no problem… Oh, if Porco was here, he'd be spouting cruse nonsense so he could look tough, but in reality, he'd be wetting his pants as he brainstormed ways of running away, while I was eager to solve the mystery, like always…_

"I guess that's one way to look at it…" Dorwee remarked as he pulled the curtain, revealing a man lying on the bed.

He looked like a mummy. Except this mummy had a powerful straightjacket instead of bandages and was chained to the bed instead of being imprisoned inside a coffin.

The most striking characteristic, however, was the complex brown muzzle that covered the part under the eyes of his face, leaving only two small holes on the nose and a fenced gap in the mouth so he could breath.

Marcel was at loss for words.  _That_  was his mentor? He looked like a dangerous criminally insane man. Surely, there was a catch...

"S-Sir… I beg your pardon, but is this man really supposed to be my… mentor? Surely, there must be some sort of mistake." he finally managed to voice his thoughts.

"There's no mistake. He… he'll come around… hopefully…" Dorwee failed to sooth him with his doubtful tone.

While he was certainly shocked, he wasn't all that startled. At that point, he was already numb to upsetting experiences like that.

"But why do I need a mentor in the first place?" he countered, maybe too tenaciously.

"You're the top dog, you tell me. Come on, prove you're smart enough. Think."

He looked back at the pair of menacing eyes he was trying to avoid. The man that laid there had bloodshot dark eyes that stared daggers at him and the vein on his forehead was throbbing so much that it looked like it could burst any moment.

If looks could kill, Marcel would have been reduced to dust.

He hadn't stopped growling ferally and struggling between the chains either, so only a braindead idiot would think that guy was on a good mood...

"So…? Do you know the answer or do I have to name Leonhart the new top student?" Dorwee threatened impatiently.

After hearing that, the chained man started snarling and struggling harder. Marcel couldn't avoid wincing at how he didn't hesitate to dig the chains through the straightjacket into his flesh, resisting the excruciating pain, while his face's color turned into a worrying shade of red.

It amazed him how willpower, or rather, despair can drive a human's actions so.

In any case, Marcel had a pretty good guess… It all made sense – if he was supposed to be the best and was given a personal instructor, though extremely unhinged to say the least, then…

No. It couldn't be. Impossible. Not after what he was accused of. It was far too early in the Program anyway… He decided not to make a fool of himself and kept quiet.

"Sir, Lord Porosus is having a particularly grim reaction to your visit. Perhaps it would be best if you leave and return with the child when his condition improves… At this rate, he might break free again." one of the soldiers alerted distressed.

"No. His condition won't stop worsening… This has to be done while he still isn't lost…" Dorwee protested darkly. "Sorry, buddy…" he sighed as he looked down on the possessed man, whose murderous gaze contrasted with his.

_Hmm… So it is true after all…_

"I agree. It is best that I become a Titan Shifter in his place while the iron is still hot. Even if I can only learn under him for a day, I won't disappoint." he asserted confidently.

"Oh… Good…" Dorwee muttered genuinely impressed by his bravery. "Then you'll start at once. This is Dylan Porosus, the Jaw Titan, and as you've probably guessed, he's very hard to deal with, so tread carefully, 'cause he goes ballistic over the smallest things. Though he's violent and moody, he still has some sense of duty deep inside… probably… Anyway, don't show fear, you'll have this whole crew to back you up if things go south, which  _will_  happen."

"Got it. I'm ready for anything!" he nodded with his chest puffed out and his chin up high.

_I-I can't believe this… Am I really_ _**that** _ _good? I've been praised a few times before, but I never imagined I was so good as to be pardoned and… and… blessed! Oh, I did it! I did it, Porco… I-I did it father… I did it…_

He just wanted to jump and scream and party. But celebrating had to wait, there was still a major task at hand, and he had to look good.

"Hey, Porosus… do try to be nice, okay? I'm checking on Lockhart now… she, uh… needs it…" Dorwee pleaded friendlily.

The man in question responded with a distinctively hoarse growl and a killer frown.

"Well, good luck, kid. You're gonna need it…" the man who escorted him said sympathetically.

And with that, he left.

"So… what do I have to do exactly?" he made the question that lingered in his mind.

"That's the problem. The person who is supposedly responsible for telling you that, the person flailing maniacally over there, is far from his right judgment. Setting him free is a death sentence, he's in no condition of teaching." a soldier commented annoyed.

"And even if he was more stable, he wouldn't be able to communicate. Several months ago, he gradually started losing his ability to form cohesive sentences. That's when the growling started… Soon after, animalistic noises replaced his speech…" another added.

"Then why was he assigned to me? Aren't there more capable people?" he inquired.

"Such is the tradition of the great country of Marley, and that can't be questioned… More importantly, we will assist Lord Porosus in your teaching, so his state won't be a significant obstacle." a soldier next to him said unconfidently.

"I see… I-I take it this muzzle prevents him from biting his mouth so he can't bring forth his Titan form…?" he theorized as he watched the scorching wrathful gaze staring at him.

"Oh, he bites anyone he sees, not just himself. Even when bound, we are near a mortal threat… Beware, child." a timid soldier cautioned.

"I ain't scared!" Marcel asserted with conviction.

"You should be! We'll just keep Lord Porosus restrained while we prepare you the best we can. Anything else is straight up lunacy!" an infuriated man countered.

He didn't think much of it before, but at that moment it dawned to him the armed squad in the infirmary weren't painting the great heroes of Marley and its tradition in a very positive light…

As that is nothing short of unacceptable and even dangerous, he assumed that they must have had horrible experiences with that guy…

"Right. For now, we will just show you around so you can feel acquainted with your new training environment. Hopefully, our Lord will have a moment of lucidity in the meantime." a young adult said.

"Hey, uh… Is he okay?" Marcel asked as he slowly backed away.

As the groans of the Jaw Titan's holder became louder, so too were his movements becoming more frenetic.

When all the eyes in the room pointed at the man, his sturdy straightjacket had already been ripped apart completely out of sheer strength; the chains offered little more resistance.

As if the thunderous sound of cloth tearing and solid steel fracturing weren't enough, he also had to stomach the sight of said bindings effortlessly shredding skin, carving themselves unto flesh as they cut through veins, decorating his muscular body with small fountains of blood in his wrists, neck and ankles.

Though what amazed Marcel the most was the fact that all of Dylan's injuries healed immediately after they appeared…

The man then proceeded to shot up and lunge at them like a mad bull, as if he nothing had happened to his body.

"Shoot!" a warrior hollered, right before a volley of merciless bullets barraged Dylan.

He instinctively hid under a bed and covered his sensitive ears from the deafening noises.

The powerful guns were nearly useless. Even though the crew guiltlessly aimed at his head and chest, practically blowing up his body in the process, Dylan just kept regenerating back with undying rage. If anything, it was only angering him further.

Halting the Jaw Titan's advances were all they could do. When they ran out of ammo, some of them reloaded, while the others confronted him head on.

He was surprised by how Dylan could keep a tactical mind despite being more than deranged. Surely, he would have shifted already if he wanted, but doing so would expand his size to the point of being crushed by the walls and ceiling, making the whole building crashing down on him in the process.

The Titan shifter threw the men aside like rag dolls and shot straight to him.

He didn't have any time at all to react.

"Look out!" the timid soldier yelled as he jumped in front of him, shotgun in hand.

The Shifter instantly snapped his saviour's neck like a twig. Had he applied a little more force, his head would have been separated from the body.

The beastly eyes turned to him, and at that moment, his heart skipped two beats. All he could was crawl away horrified.

A pair of brawny hands pinned him down full force, and then they crept up his hyperventilating neck.

He would die right then and there. He just knew it…

His attacker wrenched his muzzle and struggled to talk in between growls. "Graaaaah… I c-ca… feel th-the… r-rage… gr-growing inside… e-eating away at m… Graaaaahhh!" he spoke like a savage who was enduring excruciating amounts of pain.

The firm grip on his neck was strong enough hurt, but not enough to asphyxiate. But Marcel still sweated bullets and was on the verge of peeing his pants.

"Th-The h-higher... pressure exerted ... the h-higher its... m-melting po... point." the menacing Titan shifter finished, as if he had a massive headache.

_What...? I-I don't understand... Is he asking for help?_

While his brain stormed, someone had saved him once again by quickly stabbing a needle into the lunatic's healed nape and injected some sort of liquid; forcing him to appease and drop to the floor asleep in a matter of seconds before a surprised gasp.

"Shit… Fuck! Fuck! Fucking hell!" one of the soldiers roared as he fell to his knees.

Marcel, still shaking from adrenaline, approached the warrior who had saved him earlier; and as he observed the brutally deformed neck in terror, he… he examined… he looked for something that he could do to somehow reanimate him. He tried putting the neck back in place, but to no avail…

"Look away, kid… There is nothing you can do…" someone he didn't care to look at muttered disheartened as he gently pulled him up.

"B-But… I'm just some Eldian… He didn't even need to save me!" he protested.

"He was a good man… His soul deserves the comfort in the place in which it resides now."

He kneeled and tenderly closed the lifeless eyes of the Marleyan corpse that laid in front of him.

"We have to upgrade our ammo and Lord Porosus's bindings… again." someone scoffed.

" _And_  transfer him somewhere safer…"

"You heard him speak as well, right? He hasn't done that in ages… Let us hope that that is a sign of better times to come…"

"Hey, kid, first lesson about the Jaw Titan: It's the one with the most potent healing. Oh and if you do end up inheriting his Titan, make sure you don't do shit like this, you dig? I've seen too many comrades die already…" a frustrated warrior berated.

_I won't… I will use this gift for good. I will use them to protect, like he protected me…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry! The next chapter will be up in a few minutes :)
> 
> As always, reviews are very much welcomed and appreciated :)
> 
> Also, I try to reply to everyone who drops a review, but for some reason, there are some accounts where that is not possible. Their name accounts are black instead of blue and you can't click on them. But I just want to say that I'm very thankful to those people! Seriously, tanks! It helps a lot.
> 
> Anyway, see you next chapter!


	20. Questions

Bertholdt and Pieck were asked to stand by in the academy's training ground. Sunshine glistened in the freshly watered grass that covered the wide area. Besides the facility's buildings, only vegetation and stern fences could be seen. They were the only ones in there, meaning the other children were probably receiving their training inside.

"Come now, Bertholdt, this is no time to be trepidatious." Pieck spoke soothingly.

The trembling boy didn't know what that fancy word she used meant, but he assumed it was something like «nervous», given the context. He would ask, but he was too nervous.

"He went to call someone, this can't be good! And how come you're so calm? Are you even human?" Bertholdt asked bewildered by her never-wavering calmness.

"Everything seems to indicate so." she said as she inspected her hands and body.

"Hehe... You're funny, Pieck."

"Want to hear something funnier?" she whispered mischievously.

"Um... Sure."

"They water the plants. And yet they claim they do not have water for us. Laughable how they expect us not to notice."

"P-Pieck... k-keep it down! D-Didn't you learn anything?!" he urged startled.

She really liked playing with fire... But for some reason, he admired that in her...

"But I  _am_  speaking quietly. If you feel paranoid about someone eavesdropping, that only proves you are scared of the truth. Which in and of itself is evidence that you are aware of it." she spoke confidently, with her hands on her hips.

"O-Okay, but, we got into trouble, because of that before... let's just avoid that from now on, okay? It's only sage this way..."

"Of course. This will be our little secret." she winked.

" _Seriously, does she like seeing me jumpy?! For someone so smart, she's pretty reckless..."_ Bertholdt thought as he scanned for anyone who might be listening in on them.

" _Excellent. Now I know that he will not double cross me."_ she pondered pleased to know that she can cross one name from her threat list.

Their conversation came to an abrupt halt when they heard a distant whimper. They became alert, because their instincts were sharply honed through their vigorous training. But more importantly, because until then, all they heard were each other's voices.

When they scanned the source of the sound, they saw a human figure approaching in the horizon ,walking on all fours, and behind it, another one moving normally.

"I-Is that... the person he said we'd be meeting?" Bertholdt asked with reignited nervousness.

The person they stared at was moving remarkably fast for someone who walked on all fours. As the distance between them closed, they were able to see long, brown hair and a high-ranking uniform.

"The absence of any other human presence and the uniform seem to suggest so." Pieck deduced.

"Wh-why do you think she's... walking like that?" Bertholdt wondered as he empathized with the loud moans of pain the adult was emitting.

"Hmmm... Could she be... the Cart Titan?"

The two drew near. The one who stood was clearly Professor Dorwee, like he wanted to be called, the other was an entirely different person they never saw.

She looked like she was in her late teens. Her eyes were extremely swollen. Red and watery like she spent a whole week crying without sleep. Her hair was shaggy and dirty, and she didn't seem very fond of taking showers... Oddly enough, she looked rather thin, despite her rank.

"C'mon, Lockhart. Introduce yourself." Dorwee instructed due to her lack of initiative.

"M-My... my n-name, is... C-Carrie Lockhart... I-I am... your, new, uh, mentor..." she muttered as though someone was aiming a gun at her head.

They didn't know whether they felt sorry for her or absolutely afraid of her.

"Hmm... Where is  _he_?" Dorwee asked as he looked around.

But they didn't hear him. They were too focused on her. There was something... hypnotising, almost eerie about her shaky, watery gaze. She looked at them like a dog looks at an owner who was about to put them down, which was fitting because she stood with four member like a dog.

"A-Are you... B-Bertholdt Hoover and... P-Pieck Stern?" she finally spoke.

"Yes, ma'am." Pieck quickly answered.

"Um... Y-Yes, ma'am." he said slowly.

"I-I heard you, were... quite good."

"Hehe... No where near as good as you were when you enlisted." Dorwee joked.

That sounded like a compliment, but Lockhart seemed like she tried her hardest not to burst into tears when he said that.

"Hey, Lockhart, come on, pull yourself together. You need to set a good example... Wadlow should be here anytime soon. I'll go check on the others, okay?" Dorwee warmly patted Lockhart in the back.

The woman nodded with a whimper, and with a concerned sigh, the man departed.

Bertholdt and Pieck didn't know what to expect. They were hoping they somehow forgot they were standing there, but that wish died when her sad eyes directed at them once more.

"D-Do... do you know... wh-why I was, assigned to you?" she asked with a trembling voice.

"I am assuming... because you are the Cart Titan? And because one of us will learn the Cart Titan's abilities directly from you. Since Bertholdt surpasses me in terms of skill, I am guessing I was the chosen successor." Pieck responded, not with her usual confidence in her deductions, but with detectable pity.

"R-Right... H-Have my... co-workers... hurt you? Are you despising the Program?" she asked, completely dismissing the girl's conclusion.

Both children gasped mentally, and quickly exchanged one fleeting glance.

Was that a trick question? Expressing discontent towards their training could be taken as expressing discontent towards the great honor of receiving a Titan. Marley wouldn't take that kindly...

"N-N... N-No... O-Of course, not, ma'am!" Bertholdt giggled nervously, as sweat started pouring down.

"No, ma'am. The Marleyan Government Program is nothing short of a dream come true. We shall gladly fulfil any request in order to better ourselves as human beings, and humble Eldians." Pieck answered with an angelical tilted face.

"I-It's o-okay... Th-they... hurt me, too... Y-You can cry, if you, uh, w-want..." she moaned as she collapsed on the grass and burst into tears.

"Huh?"

"G-Go on... cry... Cry! Let sorrow stream down your eyes!" she shrieked.

"Ma'am, are you feeling well? Do you need assistance?!" Pieck asked instinctively, while Bertholdt hid behind her tinier form.

"N-No... no! Help me! The dogs are eating my flesh... and my soul! Please, please make them stop! I don't need more sadness! I've had enough! " Lockhart shouted as she flailed around on the ground as if she was trying to fend off attacks from all directions.

Then, she gave up, curled into a fetal position and proceeded to bawl uncontrollably.

"Wh-what's wrong with her? What do we do?!" he asked with his nerves shot.

"Hold on. Don't approach her, she might get violent. Clearly, she is having some sort of hallucination episode." Pieck said firmly.

"B-But... why? Was it something I did?!"

"Preposterous. She is a notorious warrior, I think it is safe to assume that the battlefield scarred her mind... I can only hope that I will not have to face half of what she endured, if I am to succeed her."

It was weird seeing someone of her rank in such a pitiful, submissive state. By that point, it was instilled in their unconsciousness that the sight of a uniform like hers automatically commanded fear and respect.

But Lockhart... she looked like an abandoned puppy who was repeatedly kicked in the stomach and curled up on snow, waiting for the internal injuries to take her life.

"Is... is this what awaits me, Bertholdt? Am I destined to live for others and die in a fit of crying?" Pieck asked morbidly.

Silence. He didn't know what to say. He didn't want to lie, but he didn't want to make her sad either.

"Sh-she's just... lost, and alone." he muttered over the woman's loud bawling.

"Well... no point second guessing. It is far too late to turn back now... Let us go call someone to help her."

"O-Okay... and Pieck." he called for her.

"Yes?"

"You won't, become like her... because, you won't be lost and alone. Not with me around." he spoke with a weak but genuine smile.

"How considerate... Even if I become a mass-murdering Titan? " she challenged feebly.

"Oh... um..." he stumbled in his own words.

It was truly a moral conflict for him. He did want to be there for his friends, but murder...? He had already forgave that far too much...

"It is quite alright. I would forgive you. I hope you can forgive yourself if the time comes..."

He was about to improvise something to say, but something interrupted him.

It wasn't any particular sound, and he didn't see anything either... It was a weird feeling... It was like he felt a tiny gust of wind creeping up his nape's hair, like when someone runs past us from behind. He felt the presence of someone watching from behind... Judging by Pieck's body language, she felt the same.

And just like a snake stealthily ambushes an unsuspecting prey...

"Sorry I'm late!" a thunderous deep, male voice boomed from behind them, causing them to jump.

The sudden man that appeared had a uniform filled with badges, the only place in his large, towering body left to decorate was his eerie ear to ear grin that displayed perfect teeth. He was a lot fatter than anyone they have seen in the academy. If he looked less creepy, they'd say the pimples on his chubby cheeks were cute.

"Hahahaha!" the furtive intruder cackled to the Heavens. "I'm uh… I'm Nilote Wadlow, leader of Marley's Covert Forces and God of Destruction!" he finished as he wiped tears of amusement and forced his laughter to stop.

"God of Destruction? A-Are you… by any chance… the Colossal Titan?" Pieck asked like an ant in the presence of a mad elephant.

All Titan Shifters: all of Marley's heroes were famous, but the one who basked in the spotlight of the public the most was the great Colossal Titan, commonly named 'God of Destruction'. That was the one with the most tales and the most respected; and yet, Nilote was casually talking like that title meant nothing…

"That's me!... Or am I? Hold on, I'ma check." the Shifter said before bringing his hand close to his fangs.

"No, wait! Um… maybe, that isn't the best idea…" Bertholdt threw his arms forward and shook his palms with a nervous giggle.

"Hmm…?" Nilote examined the boy with an arched eyebrow. "Oh, haha! You're Bertholdt, right?!"

"Um… Y-Yes, sir…" he replied confused.

Carrie knew their names, but it seemed like it was because someone had informed her about the people she would meet, but with Nilote it was a different story. He had obviously recognized him from somewhere.

The Colossal Titan was the number one celebrity in Marley, but he never saw his face; human or otherwise. And he imagined most people didn't either, so the Shifter's reaction was a mystery to him.

"Hahahaha! Now I see why they want you to be next to me, haha!"

"I uh, I don't understand…" Bertholdt said.

"You know what's funny? I have all of my predecessors' memories. I can see their biggest traumas; their happiest moments; their first fucks, which is gross by the way… And I can see the scariest events of their lives… Hmm, yes, haha… Your face looks  _exactly_  like hers." Nilote continued a little more serious.

"Who is this 'her' you are referring to, may I ask?" Pieck questioned as she held her chin.

"It's hilarious how similar someone can be from their parents, or even their from grandparents. Haha, that's right, your granny scared the living shit out of my predecessor. Man, what an asshole. Are you an asshole too, Berty? I don't wanna give my Titan to an asshole, seeing as it has had enough of me already. Haha, I love self deprecating humor!" Nilote laughed.

"M-My grandma?! Wait, what? Perhaps, you are confusing me somebody else?" Bertholdt countered.

"Nope, it's you alright. Haha, you know, I can't help laughing looking back on it… Your granny was days close to inheriting the Colossal Titan, but then she… Hahaha! But then she… Hahahahaha!" the Shifter started cackling maniacally as he wiped tears from his eyes.

" _I don't understand… Father's parents have… well, sadly passed away ages ago… And mother used to tell me how she never even met her dad to begin with, and that her mom passed away too after giving birth to her… None of them did anything particularly special… There's no way I have a grandmother that enlisted for the Program!"_ Bertholdt thought, while Pieck observed his puzzled expression.

"But then she killed a bunch of people, haha! And they call me crazy! She was the perfect candidate, normal in every regard, until she went on a murder rampage. Hehe, the funniest part? No one even knows why the fuck she did it in the first place, haha! My predecessor managed to survive her onslaught, but boy, did he see stuff he wish he didn't; and well, that I didn't either, haha!"

Bertholdt and Pieck gasped, their eyes widened in disbelief.

" _No… Impossible! There's no way!_ " his thoughts raged.

"Hahahaha, why so uptight? I fucking hate that… Hahaha… Come on… Laugh… Laugh! This shit's hilarious, LAUGH! LAUGH WITH ME!" the man yelled menacingly as he snatched their wrists with an anaconda-like grip.

"Hahaha! How very amusing, ha!" Pieck chuckled like everything was okay, hadn't he known any better, Bertholdt would have thought it was genuine…

"Um… He… hehe…" Bertholdt forced out the most unconvincing laugh imaginable with a visibly scared face.

Their pulses were being clutched so forcefully, that they felt the blood pulsing in their wrists. It hurt like Hell and they knew they had to be bandaged later.

"Oh, Carrie, you fucking killjoy! Because of you, this one can't forget the pain!" the Shifter said before viciously smashing the weeping woman's head with his combat boot.

The impact was so violent that they winced. Hard. It sound like a piece of wood shattering when her skull effortlessly broke, leaving behind a crimson stream and finally putting an end to her sobbing and whimpering.

A minute later, her head had already completely healed, though. But it was still horrible and Bertholdt had to put another thing on his nightmare list.

"So, you want to become Titans, eh? Hahaha… Is it for cash? Fame? Pussy? Haha… Worked for me!" Nilote asked a little more stable.

It seemed like violence soothed him…

"Serving the great country of Marley is all I could wish for. My will is nothing less than uplifting my nation!" Pieck quickly responded.

"R-Right… I agree with her…" Bertholdt followed.

"He, hehe…" Nilote laughed as though he was starting to get an hilarious joke. "Haha… Hahahahahahahaha!"

" _This one is far more delirious than the other… And far more dangerous as well…"_ Pieck thought, bracing herself for the worst.

"Hahaha! What a riot!" the girl laughed along.

"Hehe… Agreed…" Bertholdt said.

"Serving…? Wish…? Hehe… haha… bullshit! My will… is the will of the battlefield! Yours will be the same! People bleeding, haha… People screaming, haha… People pulverizing, hahaha! It's all so fucking uproarious! Forget your will! It'll be corrupted beyond redemption, and all you can do is laugh back on it…" Nilote said with audible anger.

" _Hmm… Could it be?"_ Pieck pondered.

"N-Nilote… Please, d-don't get mad… I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry! Please forgive me for angering you so." Carrie pleaded in between sobs, as she crawled toward him, hugging his boots.

"Oh? Um, right! Haha, what was I thinking?! I'm not angry! I'm happy, see? I'm even laughing all sexily and shit! Yup, I'm totally okay! Hahaha!" the Shifter regained his jolly tone.

Bertholdt and Pieck didn't even know how to react anymore, let alone what to think about their ordeal.

The human brain is programmed to search for patterns and behave in the most optical way according to them, in order to adapt to new situations.

But there weren't any patterns in their situation; nothing they could remotely predict. All they observed were a series of illogical, nonsensical events unfolding left and right.

Dismissing their loud, unhinged ramblings as simply products of a couple of lunatics' minds were all they could bring themselves to do to not have an headache.

Besides, the fact that they would probably be the next Titan Shifters didn't even make sense. They were specifically told they would be punished. And that intrigued Pieck to no end.

"Ch-children… I-I uh… I have a question…" Carrie, who was still lying on the ground, meekly muttered as she wiped her nose with her sleeve.

"Oh? Please, do tell, ma'am." Pieck said.

"Wh-why is volcanic activity rising in the regions to the north of Marley?" she asked.

"Hmm...? I apologize, ma'am, but I believe I don't quite follow..." the girl responded with a tilted head.

Bertholdt didn't understand either, but he let Pieck do the talking while he thought about the odd question. Was it just another mad gibberish?

"Hahaha! You should see your faces!" Nilote guffawed as he pointed at them. "But fuck that! We ain't here to talk! Let's make this fun... That's why we're here. Yo, Carrie! Remember how our training was?"

"I cry myself to sleep thinking about it..." the woman answered lethargic.

"That's the spirit, hahaha! Well, let's get this started then, hehe!" he said with a darker giggle.

The children gulped. It was painfully obvious that that was  _not_  gonna be pretty...

 

* * *

 

 

" _Come on, Reiner! You're almost there! Or at least I hope so... Well, I'm sure I'll be okay."_ Reiner thought as he took long gasps of air. He was at his limit.

The sun was setting and Reiner was still with the other normal competitors of the Program doing basic hiking exercises. All he had to do was reach a certain place while he carried gear in a backpack.

He was following the other children to their destination, but since he was much slower than the others, he fell behind and lost track of the way.

_Hmm, there's a tall hill over there. I might see the something useful if I get to the top!_

When he got to the top, he wanted to rip his blonde hair out of frustration: He saw the other children hiking far away along the bottom of a nearby small cliff. If that wasn't enough, they were walking towards the opposite direction.

_Grahh! It's gonna take me ages to get there! Ohhh_ …  _This was so much easier with Marcel and Bertholdt and the others…One of them always knew what to do next or where to go… Oh, who am I kidding? I can't do this without them… It's only been a day and I already miss them to death… even Pieck despite all she did…_

Due to his nonexistent sense of direction or any survival skills for that matter, with trial and error, but mostly error, he finally managed to get to his destination long after nightfall

"I'm heeeeeere! Sorry I'm late!" Reiner yelled as he approached the journey's end.

"Quiet!" Dorwee jabbed hoarsely, causing Reiner to flinch. "Had you kept your comrades waiting in the battlefield like you kept me, you'd die before knowing you were responsible for your squad's death!"

"I'm very sorry, sir! I just… got lost and…"

"Forget it." the man sighed annoyed. "How is your leg?"

"Not good, sir. It hurts a lot, especially when I run." he said happy to inspire concern.

"I see… Braun, do you know the definition of 'self-awareness'?" Dorwee asked serious.

"Um… No, I can't say I do…" Reiner answered after pondering for a moment.

"It means being conscious of your own capabilities and character. Do you consider yourself self-aware?"

"Um… I guess…?" he honestly still didn't have a clue of what that word meant.

"Good! Then surely you are aware of your general piss-poor output throughout the Program, correct?" the man spat.

"Um… Yes, sir." he said with his head down.

_No arguing there, I guess…_

"Okay then… Can you give me one good reason why you should stay here? You disappointed me tremendously after your misbehavior with your little friends. You even lied to me." Dorwee sneered.

"Oh, that? It wasn't what it sounded! I mean it! As for a reason, well… There's no one more devoted to Marley than me! I would do anything. Anything for this great nation!" he proudly asserted.

"Not quite devoted enough! I expected far better from you!"

"I guarantee you'll see far better from me, sir! Just you wait!" he countered with his chest puffed out.

"Hehe, glad you said that. You see, I need you and your naughty little gang to solve something for me." Dorwee said.

"Oh! Yes, of course, anything! What is it?!" Reiner asked excited and eager to prove himself.

"You see," the man cleared his throat to make himself clear. "The evil Eldians in Paradis selfishly send their toxic waste and pollution to the air, through their industrialization and such."

_Those savages! Haven't they caused enough destruction?... Okay, I'll commit this to my memory! Memory, don't screw up again! This is important, you hear?!_

"Got it! And?" he asked.

"And... that's it." Dorwee finished with a mischievous smile.

"I apologize, sir, but didn't you ask me to solve something for you? I don't see how I can work with just that, could you clarify, please?" he furrowed his brow.

"I didn't ask just you, I asked you and your naughty little gang." the adult said as he folded his strong arms.

_Yeah, um... I still don't get it..._

"And speaking of which, I bet you miss them already seeing as you appear to like them so much. Wanna see them?" Dorwee said with a crinkled nose.

"Y-Yeah! I'd love too!"

"Come along, then."

Dorwee took Reiner inside the tallest building in the academy and escorted him to a door unique from all others he had seen up until that point. Is was painted with dazzling white, adorned with the words «Cadidates' Respite» in gold.

_Wow! Fancy! No idea what Respite means, but I bet it's cool!_

"You'll be sleeping there from here on out. Remember, if you solve what I asked, I'll be very,  _very_  pleased. You might even get the chance to become a... Er, forget it, don't wanna get your hopes up. Well, I have five reports to read tonight. Farewell then..." Dorwee waved goodbye and departed.

After exchanging pleasantries, he opened the door in front of him, eager to see what was inside.

The room was sparkling-clean  _and_  big. There was a projector on the ceiling aimed at a white screen in one of the walls, just like in Dorwee's office. The most inviting part, however, were the behemoth–like sofas in the middle, that just screamed for him to jump on them and take a nap.

There were was another door in the back, that he assumed was the restroom, opposite to the fireplace.

But that didn't matter, because there was something far more important in that room: Bertholdt, Marcel, Annie, Porco... and Pieck.

As they laid on the sofa, all of them casted surprised looks at him, to which he reciprocated; except for Pieck, he made sure to look at her with eyes like slits.

"Hey! Guys, you're all okay!" Reiner cheered.

"Reiner, where have you been?!" Bertholdt asked happy to see he was fine.

"Me? I should ask the same! I was with the rest of the competitors. You're the ones who disappeared all day!" Reiner argued.

"Tsk, lucky bastard, I wish was doing that...  _This_  was literally the worst day of my life! I know you've all heard me say this a few times now, but this time, I mean it." Porco said with clenched teeth as he rubbed his temples.

"Really? What happened to you guys?" Reiner asked concerned.

"We actually just got here. Like, a minute before you. But before that, we were training under Marley's Titan's Shifters…" Marcel explained with his head down.

"What?! Y-You were? B-But that's a huge honor! You should be celebrating, what's with the long faces?!" Reiner said.

"It was awful! Since you don't know, I can tell you the bar soared through the roof with these guys! My instructor is a psycho robot! She made me contort so much that I feel like I could do the splits with one leg in the air! And if that wasn't enough, I got hit by these mannequin thingies more times in one hour than in the rest of my life. Grr… I just wanna sleep." Annie said shooting fire out of her nostrils as she buried her face into the couch.

The way the blonde girl twitched and rubbed her bruised arms really showed how beat and hurt she was. She had never been all that nice to Reiner, but he still couldn't help feel sorry for her.

"That's nothing! I almost died like 100 times today! I.  _Literally_. Walked on a trap field. Let that sink in for a moment. What kind of lunatic does that? And that was the just the easy part! Plus, my instructor was a shut-in who wore a freaking tinfoil hat! She was always either cowering in fear or pinching my cheeks! Gross! It can't get worse than that!" Porco complained as he tried to get some sleep.

"I beg to differ. My mentor made me run laps and climb things on all fours as I carried weights on my back like a mule. When I argued that doing so would permanently damage my vertebral column, Bertholdt's mentor simply laughed at me and said that my back would heal as soon I became a Titan…" Pieck said as she inspected the room, preventing her from seeing Reiner's disdainful look.

"Well, mine wanted me to be an expert in covert operations like him. Long story short, it evolves water, environment and playing hide-and-seek." Bertholdt said with his arms wrapped around his shrugged form.

"That sounds fun!" Reiner said.

"It also involves barbed wire, holding my breath and avoiding getting shot." Bertholdt added.

"Oh… Um, yeah… That doesn't sound all that good…" Reiner reluctantly admitted.

"I saw someone die today…" Marcel said with his eyes closed.

"M-Me too…" Porco said with a droopy body.

Marcel placed a friendly hand on his brother's shoulder, which escalated into a hug.

"C'mon guys, I uh, I understand that this day was painful and tough for you, but you're gonna become Titans! Isn't that what you wanted?!" Reiner said. "I'd gladly go through all that if it meant serving this great nation." Reiner added spite and stared daggers at Pieck.

"Oh? Was that supposed to be a sneaky jab at me? You know, what separates boys from men, is the ability to be honest with one's convictions and stand up to others head on, instead of resorting to underhanded tactics." Pieck countered.

"Oh, so you're not gonna thank me for saving you? Or apologizing for what you did to me?" his temper flared as he pointed to the wound on his leg.

"By saving, you mean backpedaling after deciding to doom your supposed ' _friends_ ', and by what I did, you mean necessary actions to write your wrongs? Sure, Reiner, do go along and play the victim…" Pieck said with her chin up.

"Hey, knock it off, you two! Look, we all had a hard day, let's not say anything we'll regret and go to sleep. Don't forget that all we have is each other." Marcel intervened.

"Let me just say…" Reiner took a deep breath. "Pieck, the only reason I didn't report the awful things you've been saying about the great country of Marley, is because of them!" he gestured to Marcel and Bertholdt. "They showed me kindness, and helped me a lot when they didn't need to! So… I think they deserve forgiveness… Even though they have bad thoughts…"

The raven-haired girl rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.

"And I was hoping I could open their eyes about how wrong they are, for the sake of everyone… And while Porco and Annie are kinda feisty, I feel like they deserve that too. I know there's good in them, I've seen it… but you Pieck, you are a mean, ungrateful, selfish… um, uh-" Reiner thought of other words to characterize her.

"Are those the only pejorative adjectives in your ken?" Pieck mocked.

"Bully! That's right! And you're always using fancy words that I don't understand! You act all innocent and goody-goody, but you're not even a little sorry for stabbing my leg like I was a piece of meat!" Reiner held back tears.

Pieck sighed annoyed. "We have been over this. I hate repeating myself. I only acted according to our self-interests, including yours.  _You_  are the one who should be thanking  _me_."

"Why you! I should… I should… I should report you and you alone! They might forgive me and the others if we're lucky." Reiner spun around to the door.

"Wait!" Pieck chased the blonde boy and caught his shoulder. "Alright, I have something to confess…" she said with her head down.

"What is it?" Reiner barked as he looked at her over his shoulder.

"The truth is… I… I am jealous of you…" she said with her head down.

Everyone froze and stared with wide eyes. Bertholdt, Annie, Porco and Marcel stopped caring a while back, all they wanted was to sleep that awful day away, but even that caught them off guard.

"Huh? Y-You are?"

"Yes, you see… You have this optimistic aura about you, that I could only dream to have... But what I envy the most is your devotion to the great nation of Marley! The higher ups love loyalty, but I just… I am so sorry! I am so sorry for everything I did to you! The lack of sleep and nutrition they make us undergo simply makes me so cranky that I become someone I am absolutely not! Please… Please, Reiner, teach me how to be more like you! Teach me how to be a good Eldian like you! Don't forget I have helped you plenty so far!" Pieck whimpered and sobbed on the boy's chest.

" _Hmph_ …  _I bet there's not a single tear in her eyes… Clever clover…"_ Annie thought.

"Wait… R-Really…?" Reiner said.

"Y-Yes…" she answered before sniffing.

"Well… I uh, I guess I can forgive you, if you truly are sorry… And, uh… I guess you have helped me too… Oh, alright… I had mercy for my friends before, so I can do the same for you… But Pieck, if you act mean again I'll-"

"I know, I know…" she let go and wiped her dry eyes.

"So, uh… Can we have a truce hug?" he said with a smile and open arms.

"Of course." she answered and returned the gesture.

"Well, now that I let you work out your issues, can we finally call it a day? There's a lot I want to discuss tomorrow." Marcel said.

"Did your mentor gave you a cryptic message too? Mine did, and that has been bothering me for a while now. Something about… the regions to the north of Marley being filled with snow…? I was wondering if they did the same to you." Annie said.

"Yeah, exactly. Mine barely spoke, but the only thing he said was that the higher the pressure the higher something's melting point, or something like that… It made no sense to me, so I thought I'd ask." Marcel said.

"I dunno, guys… As far as I can tell they're all completely bonkers. My mentor just kept saying odd, nonsensical gibberish. Just ignore that." Porco said.

"No, they are right. While the mentors I was with had some illogical ramblings, they did remotely make sense given the context. However, there was one thing in particular that came completely out of left field…" Pieck said as she held her chin.

"The thing about volcanic activity in the north, right?" Bertholdt said.

She nodded.

"Yeah, Drake Dorwee did mention the six of us having to solve something for him together earlier, and uh… pollution, I think?… But I honestly didn't understand anything, sorry…" Reiner said.

"It's alright, but do try and remember, okay?" Bertholdt said.

"Yup! I will!" Reiner said.

"Hmm… The things they said must be connected somehow, but I don't see how." Annie said with her nose pinched.

"Right. Nevertheless, I suppose we will have to sleep on it. I can't wait to forget this dreadful day…" Pieck said as she arched her back, which made a loud cracking noise.

"Hey, I found these sleeping bags. They look pretty comfy, do you think we're allowed to use them?" Bertholdt said with six sleeping bags in his arms.

"Duh! Gimme that!" Porco rudely snatched one of them.

They readily put themselves inside the insulated coverings and an abrupt, complete silence finally arrived.

They didn't even care where they did it, they all fell down, shut their eyes and damn everything else. No thought was put into it.

But then something happened.

The projector turned on out of the blue.

"Who did that?!" Marcel jerked up.

"N-Not me…" Bertholdt said agitated.

"I didn't see anyone move…" Annie said.

"Someone else must have done that from outside… Or perhaps, it was automatic?" Pieck said.

The light projected on the white screen revealed the following:

**Marcel Galliard: 9**

**Annie Leonhart: 8**

**Porco Galliard: 7**

**Bertholdt Hoover: 7**

**Pieck Stern: 7**

**Reiner Braun: 1**

"Huh? What does that mean?!" Reiner said.

"I-I don't know… I don't comprehend…" Pieck said as her brain stormed.

Then the image changed to a normal-looking city market with smiling people, in a beautiful day. Followed by a sparkling lake among verdant meadows, where white birds flew.

"It's that video we saw yesterday!" Porco said.

"About 1800 years ago, Marley was a powerful and majestic country, whose people rejoiced in the highest quality of life index of the ancient world. It was calm, peaceful, accepting and very generous toward less fortunate countries..." a female recorded voice, that came from the projector, spoke loudly.

"It is! The audio is the same too." Marcel said.

"Errr, why is it so loud?! I can't sleep with that!" Porco said.

"I can." Pieck said as her head fell down.

Ignoring the loud voice, the six children fell to their comfortable slumber at last.

Still, heavy questions lingered on their minds:

What did that first image with numbers and their names mean?

What did Dorwee wanted solved exactly?

Were those odd things their mentors said actually cryptic messages, or simply mad ramblings to be dismissed?

Speaking of them, why were they so extreme and unhinged to begin with?

What caused them to act like that?

But above all: Why weren't they being punished like they were told they would?

Despite this, they slept like rocks, just like they deserved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY! You have no idea how long this two chapter took me to write! I had like 3 writer's blocks and an important part of my life happened. I had to make a tough life changing decision that I feel like I will regret later on in my life. But hey, my gut is usually wrong, so it'll be fine… I hope… :/
> 
> But who cares about me? Let's talk about these chapters. The clues for what Dorwee wanted solved is scattered around these last two chapters, it's a little hard to make the connection, but if you have good deduction skills or if you have some knowledge in physics and geology, you'll get there ;)
> 
> During my hiatus, I made sure to investigating writing advice a lot more thoroughly. And while I think my own writing improved significantly as I wrote this (I read the first chapters and boy, did I cringe XD), I came to the realization that I suffer from the infamous "White room syndrome", which is basically when a writer gives little to no description of places and characters, leaving the readers picturing the characters in a white room.
> 
> Haha I was aware I had WRS from the very start, because I never liked sitting through pointless descriptions and they're quite frankly hard for me to imagine and write, mostly because I always saw them as irrelevant. But now I see that there is an ideal amount for everything, and description does help the reader immerse themselves in the world.
> 
> But what do you think? Should I improve on this or you don't find it a significant issue?
> 
> Another thing I realized, was the fact that… well, I didn't give you guys a lot of brain exercise, especially in the later chapters. And leaving the readers thinking is important. Hence why I tried to improve on this (with the questions in the end and all J ).
> 
> As for the Titan Shifters, they didn't bask in spotlight much this chapter, but I'm thinking of fleshing them all out in the future. I already have their stories planned out so stay tuned ;)
> 
> In fact, I have pretty much the entire fic planned out, which helps A LOT! I already have the main villain arranged, and I'm honestly very proud of how he/she turned out. I always was an improviser, not a planner, which showed in this fic XD Did you notice? But now I know exactly how this is heading!
> 
> Back to the Titan Shifters, I think it's fun to play with etymology when creating names for characters, so I took into account references to their respective Titans:
> 
> Eve Penner – the Female Titan: Eve is the first woman to ever exist according to the Bible, the first female, the one who precedents all. Eve precedents Annie. Penner is an Indian river, where alluvial deposits of diamond (what the Female Titan can materialize) are thought to have been recognized for the first time.
> 
> Nilote Wadlow – the Colossal Titan: The nilotic people are an African ethnic group, regarded as one of the tallest people in the world, with reported average values of 182.6 cm (71.9"). Wadlow is the last name of Robert Wadlow, who was the tallest person in the world. Their height references the Colossal's gigantic proportions.
> 
> Wurtzite Boron – the Armored Titan: the name comes from Wurtzite Boron Nitride, the hardest thing in the world, a reference to armors, that are supposed to be hard. WBN has almost the same molecular structure as diamonds (a bit more complex), but it's atoms are not carbon. It is formed during those volcanic eruptions with high pressure and high temperature. Simulation has shown that it can survive 18% more stress compared to diamonds, and if certain conditions are met, it is actually possible to make it even harder!
> 
> Dylan Porosus – the Jaw titan: a reference to the Crocodylus porosus, better known as saltwater crocodile, the animal with the highest bite force ever recorded. Despite having enormous strength when closing their jaw, they have extremely weak and small muscles to open it. In fact, if you're strong enough, you might be able to shut their jaws close with your hands or with some layers of duct tape. Which, funnily enough, was what Eren did to Porco when they battled.
> 
> Carrie Lockhart – the Cart titan: Carrie is a wordplay for "Carry", which is what carts do, while Lockhart is for "Cart".

**Author's Note:**

> Author's notes
> 
> This is the first chapter of my story about the titan trio's past, the first chapter sheds some light on Bertholdt (I love his character so much, but he barely has any screen time/ page time T_T ). Next, we'll see what's going on with Annie and then Reiner later on. In here Bertholdt is just a kid, before going to the Marleyan government program. His parents are always cranky, because their poor and have to work hard for long periods of time, and since daddy has a gun shop, he has a huge advantage against other competiton, so their like "Fuck it, let's invest in the kid". Oh and I made gunmanship Bert's strong point, because in the manga it is revealed that he was very good at it.
> 
> In case you didn't notice, the title of the story is from the lyrics of Reiner and Bertholdt's oficial imagesong


End file.
